Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin, but that's okay. I like fantasizing.
In The Country:
Changes
The change in him is amazing, and beautiful. Slowly, over these past months, Himura Kenshin has grown into a beloved apothecary and playmate in the village of Otsu. Not only that, he's my husband. The dreaded Hitokiri Battousai is a married man. I hate it when I think like that, but I still can't help remembering his past. It just makes me want to watch him even more, the smiles spreading over his face, the way he deals with the village children and lets them roughhouse with him. I think of his changes, and wonder just how many I brought on directly by myself.
He used to be annoyed with me, I know, the first few weeks we lived together at the IshinSishi hideout, because of the way I disturbed his usual, dutiful, dreadful lifestyle. But now he's let me know, on more than one occasion, that my presence gladdens him. When he smiles at me, I feel guilty for not returning it, and guilty for even thinking to. When we first began living in our home together, making it out as husband and wife, I wished for Kiyosato. I thought it cruel and ironic of fate to throw Himura and I together like this.
Kiyosato would have made me happier, I thought to myself. We would have had everything.
But I still couldn't deny the growing feeling of comfort… and if I could forget about how I met Kenshin, the blood he splashed upon the streets of Kyoto, and my original intent to him… I thought that maybe, perhaps, that I'd truly be happy with this quiet life. Considering the circumstances, he wasn't a bad husband. It wasn't a particularly loving relationship, but I could see that he was glad to have me living with him. He let that loving look into his eyes, for me to see. A barrier had been washed away, and I wished to be like him.
But I wasn't like him.
I worried, and thought of what I was doing. I had a past that I wanted back, where both of my dear ones, Kiyosato and Enishi, were there by my side. As far as I knew, Kenshin had been trained for killing since he was a child, or how could he have been picked for being the so called Guardian of Chaos? They couldn't have chosen someone so young unless he had great skill.
As far as I knew… this might be the only time in his life that he's felt happy. It's a scary feeling that I'm sharing this with him. I, the woman whose love he killed, I, who he seems to have fallen in love with in return. And I… I was supposed to search for a weak point, but I have grown one instead. It's Kenshin, and my confusing emotions over him. I care about him too much. Despite my attempts to smother them, my feelings have developed for him. I suppose in the end, I've fallen for him, as well. I don't want to believe it, but the feelings I keep bottled in my chest are overwhelming sometimes, when I look at him. Now, I have to go with the flow.
And on the nights that I have so much to write about, that I stay up so late that Kenshin retires to bed earlier than I… I carry the candle over and kneel down beside the futon, and I don't climb in right away. I sit and watch his peaceful face, my eyes roving over him. He does not wake, either, except for that one, startling time. He had felt my eyes on him and he opened his and blinked, recognizing me, and then he smiled sleepily at me.
"Tomoe? Won't you come to bed?"
"Yes," I answered quietly, inwardly mortified that he had caught me. I eased in between the covers, and underneath his hand found mine and caressed it gently. I responded instinctively, curling my hand around his. His hand was warm. My cheeks tinged faintly, and I closed my eyes, wondering what I thought I was doing. I couldn't give him the cold shoulder, so I opened my eyes again and turned my head to take a look at him. His eyes were still open and watching me, a soft lavender color. He blushed faintly in return and smiled at me again, before turning his head back to face the ceiling and closing his eyes. I did the same, our hands still clasped.
We were still like that when I fell asleep. When I woke up, he was already dressed and gone. I wondered if we had held hands all night, but I couldn't ask him that. It was a trivial question that shouldn't have bothered me, but it did, for a few days after.
A/N:
Could've been longer... but I decided to just end it at that. Maybe a bad decision... but I'll write more like that, prolly. I want to try Kenshin next. :x I think it's sort of difficult to find out what he was thinking about Tomoe... I don't think he thought she was perfect or an angel, but he loved her anyway. Well, not sure what will turn out. Cyz!
