Disclaimer- Once again, just like always, I don't own Family Guy. Stewie's not mine but
the story and some characters, are mine, so don't go postin' them without my permission
anywhere.
By the way, the reviews are really positive, so keep them coming!
CHAPTER 3- Psi Clops: The Phil Gates Conspiracy
Stewie awoke in front of a huge building. It was a black building with no windows
and had the air of malicious activities going on in it.
Stewie noticed his attire. He was in a James Bondish suit with a rose in his pocket. He
also found an PPK, 4 frag grenades, a rocket launcher, two packages of C4, and a picture
of Lois, which Stewie threw up and shot with his rocket launcher.
"GOD! You think you could make any more noise!"
Stewie turned and noticed a short, robust man ambling over to him.
"We're are trying to be incognito, not make a shitload of a racket!"
Stewie looked at the man with disdain, "Who the deuce do you think you are,
ordering me around!"
The man offered his pudgy hand, "The name's Cybertronic Obnoxious Guide, or
COG for short. I'm here to guide you through the games."
Stewie shook his sweaty hand as he asked COG quizzically, "Why are you obnox-"
COG looked at the building as he started speaking, "WowthisbuildingisBIGdon'tyou
thinkheyhaveyouseenNapoleonDynamiteitssosweetdoyoulikepicklesIlikepickleseven
thoughIliveinthegameworldchickensareniceyouthinkyouhaveaweirdvoiceitsdifferentbut
coolhaveyouever…"
Stewie covered his mouth, "Point taken. Now, what do we do fat man 2.0?"
COG stared at him as they started walking to the building, "You think you could
have taken any longer? We might miss our appointment with Mr.Gates dumbass!"
Stewie flicked him off from behind as they entered the building. In the small room,
A woman was working at the reception desk. Upon seeing COG and Stewie, she pressed
a button on an intercom on her desk.
"Mr.Gates, your 1:00 is here."
"Good, its about time those buttheads got here. Send them in Ms. Secretary-lady."
COG shot Stewie a venomous look while the toddler gave him the 'bitch' sign
behind his massive back. They went to the elevator as the former explained the level.
"Okay, heres the skinny. Phil Gates is the owner and founder of Nanosoft, a company
who experiments in computer technology dealing with psychic anatomy. A latest break
through has allowed them to load psychic abilities on their robots. Well, somebody
screwed with the programming and now the robots are going haywire. The U.S military
has given Phil Gates 24 hours to deal with the corruption or they'll blow his HQ up,
ending this research."
"Well then, where the deuce are we suppose to find this corruption," Stewie said,
"Theres no way we'll find it in time!"
"Well," COG started, "That's what our meeting with Mr.Gates will tell us."
Stewie looked at him like he was mental, "Don't you already know this since your
connected to the game? Don't you have maps or cheats? By God I could create better
AI in a changing station at McDonalds!"
COG looked at him defensively, his five chins wobbling as he spoke, "Ey! This is my
first run of this game to dammit! Its not my fault the game developers all did time in a
mental institute!'
"Figures…" muttered Stewie.
When they reached Phil Gates office, they were met by Mr.Gates and another man
who was muscular and had ice blue eyes and a scar near his right eye in the shape of a….
"…weiner dogs are good, don't you think kid?" COG remarked as he stuffed his mouth
Full of a Ball Park Frank that suddenly appeared in his hand finishing a sentence that
would have been crude and inappropriate if properly completed.
Gates came over and pinched Stewie's cheek, "Ahh, hey little guy!
Coocheecoocheecoo!" Stewie pushed him away and brought out his pistol, pointing it at
him. "All right, back up! Don't give me that babied voice! I'm not a baby! Well, I
suppose physically I'am, but that's not the po… Whahaa!"
The man standing next to Gates had covered Stewie with a green glow giving off the
smell of rotten eggs. His scar was glowing yellow, disturbing Stewie and warping his
fragile and psychotic mind.
The toddler was hovering above ground flipped over as the Nanosoft
director addressed him. "Such a rude child! Fine I'll talk to you normally stupidhead! By
the way, this is my bodyguard, Dick Layer, he's psychic, its neato!" He giggled and
sat down. "Okay Dick, release him, pretty please?" Dick dropped his arm, which dropped
Stewie, which awakened COG who passed out from the smell. As Stewie got up, he
wondered if all computer company owners talked like gay six year olds and hired
manservants with scars above their eyes shaped like a crooked…
"Dick, bring up the monitor really speedy-weedy, okay?"
As the disturbing bodyguard lowered the screen, Gates began his explanation. "As
Pudgy, hehe, probably told you, the mean U.S. guys are bringing their big tanks an' guns'
An' guys to blow up my company unless I find the root of the bad, scary robots in my
HQ. So I need you fellas', and I suppose Mr.Dick can help as well, to find this problemo'
And stop it. Now I… WHAT THE BEJEEBERS ARE THEY HERE FOR!"
Two tax agents came in and laid an envolope on Gate's desk. "Just your taxes Mr.
Gates. Good day."
When they left, Gates peered over his chair and gave a sigh. "Those guys give me the
willys… Anyway I was going to give you the clearance to the basement level. The
password is H… Wassup guys!"
Now, two robots entered the room, guns drawn. Before Dick was able to use his
"Smellakinesis" and Stewie to aim his pistol, and COG to draw his black bowler hat
made like Oddjob's, the poor, simple… Well… idiotic Gates ran up to give them hi-5s.
One robot aimed his barrel at gate's hand and fired, leaving a burning hole through his
hand. Gates stared at his smoldering hand then back at the robots, screaming.
"YOU IDIOTS! THAT'S NOT HOW YOU HI-5 SOM-"
One of the robots started melting from the sheer hellish noise as the other shot Gates
Through the chest, blasting him through the window as he spoke his last words.
"I BET I CAN BEAT MY LUGIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE…"
SPLAT!
Squish!
"hahaha… I won…"
The robot then pointed his gun at COG and was about to fire when Stewie fired his
pistol at the psychic machinery, short circuiting it and it toppled over.
Stewie pumped his fist in the air as he danced around the robot. "Hahahaha! It would
seem I have beat you! You're going to… ah, where the devil do dead robots go when
killed these days… ohh… MACHINE HELL!"
He stopped and looked at COG and Dick, whose names should not be read together
again to avoid disturbing visual pictures. "Sorry about Phillip, though it was his fault for
doing that you know."
Dick was about to speak when COG interrupted. "Omigoshdidyouseethathewas
blastedrightoutofthatwindowIhopethatneverhappenstomedoyouthinkthathurtohman…"
"SHUT THE BLOODY HELL UP YOU SOB!" Stewie yelled while smacking COG
in the head.
"No problem my psychotic friend, and besides, Gates was grating me with his gay
voice anyway." said Dick. "I know the codes so we should make our way down to the
basement.
Suddenly, the building began to quake violently as distant screams were heard from
below. COG tripped and rolled like a bowling ball to the desk, smashing it into two
pieces. Dick steadied himself as he shouted to Stewie. "Looks like the attack has begun.
We need to get to the basement before…
A rumble came from outside the office as fire coated the room, melting mostly every-
thing in there. All three heroes were engulfed in the flame as they lost sight of each
other.
BOOM!
AN-
I was going to make each level only one chapter, but hey what the hell I'll make
em' 2 chapters each just for fun. Anyway, I'll have the next chapter in about a week so
don't expect it soon. By the way…
PLZ REVIEW!
Later!
