.: To be Love :.

:By:

Mys C

A/N

LoL…It took so long to upload this because it's all tests and projects and shitty homeworks! I hate my teachers, especially you Social Studies lady! EVIL! Thanks for all the reviews! Special thanks to Miko Sorrow for giving me Inuyasha's mother's name. I appreciate it lots.

Disclaimer

Um, all I own is the lint in my pockets and then some.

Short Chapter Summary

Sesshoumaru would not let Kagome go home even after dealing with Rin. What is she to do?


Chapter 3…The feeling of uncertainty

Inuyasha stared up at the moon. Its radiant glow made his eyes appear glassy. Since the encounter with his brother earlier, he's been waiting for the moon. Just sitting, thinking, and planning. What did his brother want with Kagome? He stared down at his hand. A lone jewel shard rested at his palms. The imp threw it at his feet when Sesshoumaru left. He didn't have time to go after the stupid green imp. When Sesshoumaru took Kagome, all he could focus on was catching up to them, safely getting Kagome out of harms way, and beating the living crap out of his brother.

The opportunity would come and he couldn't wait till then. His thoughts then drifted back to Kagome. She didn't even struggle when his brother grabbed her, when he took her away from his watch, from his protection. Sesshoumaru really needed a good reason for him not be beat the living crap out of him.

'Stupid wench, getting herself taken like that. For fucks sake, she can't even look after herself. She didn't even scream when he grabbed her.' Inuyasha couldn't help but wonder. Maybe she wanted to be taken. What if she wanted to get rid of him and run off with his half brother, his more powerful, more handsome, more in control, half brother. Inuyasha hated him, with a passion. He tried to take everything away from him. The Tetsusaiga was the first attempt, he failed. Now he wanted to take Kagome, his Kagome, away from him and he succeeded. He already had the lands, the power, the estate, the knowledge that he was being feared by almost everyone who heard his cold stoic voice, what more could he want.

The trees swayed, the moon continued to glow, the little insects in the grass sang and went about their short lives. It didn't help him think. None of it helped, it disturbed him if anything more.

"Inuyasha? What are you doing? Shouldn't we going after Kagome now?" The demon exterminator asked from below. Sango's voice was so determined, so focused. Inuyasha knew that Kagome and Sango were like sisters. They cared for one another. Sango had that determination, once her mind's set, it's unchangeable.

"We go to his estate. Tomorrow, at sunrise. Prepare yourselves." At this moment, his mind was set. He would go after her. He didn't really want to wait, but what's the worst that can happen. If Sesshoumaru was telling the truth, which he highly doubted, he wouldn't hurt her, Inuyasha hoped he hadn't already.

She nodded and quickly walked back to the village. Inuyasha didn't want to hurt his only friends. He didn't want to put them in danger at all. So he sat there, still pondering. And when he was sure everyone was at rest. He took off at the first opportunity, headed west, and hope with all his might not a hair on her head was harmed.


She was cold.

She tried to blink, but she was being silly. She was surrounded by darkness, even if her eyes were open, she would still see darkness. She breathed darkness in, for that was all there was. Suddenly she heard it again. That sinister laugh that never left her mind. The despicable sound was over flowing with evil. She hated hearing it, it made her guts churn. She hated it when that happened. Sesshoumaru-sama said he would help her. Where is he now? She hasn't seen him, since the evil man took her. She wasn't even sure he was a man, but he looked like one.

There was a familiar prickling in her skin. Suddenly she was feeling warmth. The darkness was slowly fading, giving her the sight she hasn't had since…she couldn't remember how long it's been from that horrid day. When the darkness was completely gone, she was seeing a woman in front of her. Maybe she was just an illusion. But it couldn't be one. She was talking to her wasn't she? No sound reached her small ears, just the quickening beat of her pulse against her ears.

Then the sounds came all together, and she was happy that she could hear. It was deafening, but she was hearing none the less. The sounds were still too loud to understand. She hadn't had her hearing in what seemed like weeks. Then suddenly the woman said, "What happened to you?" and immediately her body knew how to respond. Her vision became clear all together and all sounds became clearer.

Her hearing was back and she was cold no more, she wanted to cry and jump for joy, but her body seemed to have a mind of its own.

Instead of jumping for joy, she turned her head to the woman, and said "I'll show you." Was that her voice? She didn't even recognize it anymore. She didn't even know what she was to show the woman. Suddenly her arm reached out to touch her shoulder. She couldn't control herself, what was she doing? Was she even herself? Then her sight, her hearing, and her warmth were taken from her. Darkness surrounded her once again.

She was back at her current location. This darkness. So empty and quiet. There wasn't any sound, any voice, no sinister laugh, just silence. It was deafening. Her heart made a tattoo against her chest. The unwanted feeling of fear, surrounded her once again.

Something was different, she could feel it. Then suddenly the images came back those horrific images that came to her every now and then. She tried to beg them away, but she couldn't hear herself. She tried to close her eyes, but found them closed and the images were still there. She gulped, and tried to face the inevitable.

The images still came, she knew them. Each one, she remembered them. Not that, she didn't try to forget, she had no choice, but to remember. First the laugh. Then her experiences came. The man dragged her by the hair until she screamed or until he's taken her hair and pulled it from her head. She tried to shut her eyes, but she got tired of trying. Then another image came, he was still laughing. As he plunged her head into icy cold water and back out again.

The feeling of hope was dragged out when she saw her small head disappear into the small jug. She could still feel the iciness against her skin, and the feeling of gaining breath, only to loose it again.

The other images where coming faster, clearer, louder. Making her feel she was back at that small room to be tortured and have a brush with death.

Loud whip cracking was bouncing in her head. The image of being bound and whipped by the cruel man was too much for her to take. She wept as her body shook with both fear and anger. The two feelings made her shake harder. The images were slowly fading, but she was still in tears. She wouldn't stop them, this time, she couldn't.

She always thought that crying made the fear go away, she thought it made the heavy weight on her small shoulders ease. But it didn't. It was increased, tenfold. Her breath was labored, she was wheezing. Then she heard small sounds of crying and sobbing. There was dim light shining down on a spot. It was illuminating the same woman she saw, when she suddenly got her sight and hearing back.

She was sad.

The woman was crying and she needed comfort as badly as she did. Rin walked up to the woman and hugged her, and buried her face in her chest. They eased each others fear. It helped. Rin never felt this way, not with her own birth mother and never with Sesshoumaru-sama. This woman made her feel truly safe.


Kagome was slowly regaining consciousness. She was cold, there was a blanket around her, but she was shivering to the bone. It was those disturbing images, those horrible, cruel, and evil images that made her shiver. The cold was trying to suffocate her. No, not the cold, but the fear and the knowledge that such hatred and evil existed, made her shiver.

It was dark and she was back in 'his' room. How long has she been out and where was the girl? She needed help. 'Specifically mine'. The feeling of anger and hate bubbled inside her. Naraku was even more heartless than she originally thought he was.

"Are you well?" Kagome's skin jumped when she heard his toneless voice. She stood and looked toward the door. There he was leaning at the doorframe. With his arms crossed against his chest, his face remained expressionless. "Answer." His voice was flat and lifeless, yet it demanded with a strong masculine tone. Sesshoumaru was happy that he shocked her; the girl's expressions were just priceless.

"I'm fine. Where's Rin? Is she ok?" She tried to walk to him, but found her knees were still weak.

"She is resting."

"May I see her?"

"No. She needs her rest. Leave her be."

"But the jewel shard needs to be purified as soon as possible" There was desperation in her voice. He didn't seem to notice. And in mere seconds, he was holding her neck down to the large bed.

"You will not touch her. You nearly caused her death when you last did. You will not touch her unless she has woken. Do you understand?" He loosened his grip for her to respond.

"It needs to be purified or else the evil will grow. It will be her life in the risk if it isn't purified now. Please, if you really care about her, you will let me purify her now."

Her voice was still determined and strong, but he couldn't help notice the fear that still surrounded her. She was afraid and determined. There was a battle going on in him, but no expression showed a hint of it. The battle of decision, if he were to let the miko touch her, Rin might never wake, if he doesn't, the risk of her death is still in the line. He didn't know whether this was part of Naraku's little scheme, but he would not take the risk.

His grip tightened on her neck. He could easily break her pitiful life with a flick of a wrist, but he wouldn't. He would never kill without reason, those days were over. He tightened his grip some more, just to hear her breath rasp just a little bit, until he fully let go. She rolled to the side and grabbed her neck and heaved for air.

"If you fail, I will have you blood on my claws." Without a due he walked out of the room, without a sound.

After seconds of deep breathing, she stood and walked out of the door. She was stripped of little confidence she had left.


He left the room with boiling blood. How dare the weak human try to change his decision. It was hard enough to control his inner beast, to tell it to stop killing for no logical reason. He remembered when he was young, when his inner beast was his true form. He would find an idiotic human wondering around his grounds and slaughtered him, right there, on the cold forest ground. The human's blood would be around his fur, his claws, and his fangs. It was just pure excitement when blood would be shed and splattered.

Now, he always tries to control it, to teach it the terms of calm and patience. At his age, he could never fully control it. There would be times at night, where he would crave for bloodshed. It rarely happened, but when it did, control was something he wished for, ached for.

This human, made his blood boil like no other. Not with anger and hate, but with excitement. The only time he felt that way, was through bloodshed. The human dare challenge him.

Him and his beast.

When he stood inside, waiting for her to wake, his beast asked to be let loose to taste the human's blood against his lips. Her flesh dug deep in his claws. He disgusted himself.

He couldn't imagine the human dead, by him nonetheless. This Sesshoumaru respected her. She wasn't as weak as she looked. And looks can be deceiving. When he felt her full power, he was surprised. He didn't know silly humans could hold such an amount of power as she does. She tried to protect Inuyasha when he was in his monthly human state.

Stupid fool, hiding behind a human's skirt.

An indecent skirt none the less.

He heard the small noises she made, behind him. She was following him. 'Does she think I would take her to Rin?' Stupid human. Trusting their weak instincts. Worthless things they were, the human instinct proves to be the weakest of all.

So now he has to take her to the child? He wasn't anyone's guide. He quickened his pace and took many turns, until he couldn't hear her footsteps behind him.

He opened a door to a different room. The thought of the girl being lost in his estate. He would find her at dawn sleeping in the hallway, cold and hungry. Humans and their pathetic needs.


'WTF!' Kagome could not accept the fact that Sesshoumaru ditched her. Wasn't he supposed to take her to Rin? If he isn't, then she would find her way to her, by herself, in this huge excuse for an estate. All she remembered was the double doors that opened up to be her room. And that simply did not help.

She recognized little, the doors all looked the same. Taking a turn, she ended up in a hallway with a row filled with doors, there didn't seem like an end. She saw a double door to her right. If she went in and it wasn't Rin's room and it happened to have the elusive ice king in it. She would simply die, but she was willing to take that risk.

When she walked into the room, she was certain it was Rin's. There was the small bed and colorful walls. The bed was empty. No Rin, no anyone. She was instantly saddened that she did not find the child, but slightly relieved that it did not contain the ice king either. 'Was she brought back to her room, like me?' The thought sent shivers through her. Sesshoumaru couldn't have possibly carried her to her room. Could he? A quick image of Sesshoumaru acting like a warm hearted gentleman…err demon, was too much for her imagination. She quickly focused on the task at hand.

She looked around the room. There wasn't much, but the bed, a small fireplace, and a lone chair. Beside the bed was a small window. It let the moon's slanted fingers slip in, giving the room a grim look. It was giving her chills, she was to turn around and get out of the small room, but a muffled sound stopped her.

"Rin?" She tried to see if she was there. She felt the hair on the back of her neck, prickle. A desperate sob came from a corner, where the moon's unwanted fingers couldn't reach.

There was a small shadowed figure sitting, with its head tucked in her knees. It was definitely Rin. A sniffle came from her this time. Kagome slowly approached the child.

Kagome knelt next to her and took Rin's small form into her arms and cradled the girl until her breathing was even. Kagome knew she was still awake.

"He wouldn't let me sleep. He kept my eyes open and if I closed them he would hit me." Rin's voice was so flat, it reminded Kagome of Sesshoumaru. If Rin had golden eyes and silvery white hair, she wouldn't be mistaken as his daughter.

"Who? Who did this to you? Naraku?" At the sound of his name the child let loose a new batch of warm tears. That could only mean a yes. Naraku is an evil fool, who would dare hurt an innocent child such as Rin.

"Did you see them?" Kagome knew what she was talking about, those horrible images that still shook her composure. Kagome gave a slow nod knowing that Rin felt it.

"Are all those…real?" Kagome didn't want to ask her, knowing that reminding her would traumatize the child.

"All of them, no illusions, all real." The child said it with a voice one would normally use in a normal conversation about one's average day. The child answered as if she didn't go through hell and back again.

"What did he plan to do?"

"I don't know, I always thought he hated human children. I always thought he hate me. Maybe that was why he did those things." Kagome couldn't help the lone tear that traveled down her cheek. The child knew so much, yet so little.

"Well, you safe now. Everything will be alright."

"Nothing will be alright. He still lives, he's still out there."

"I won't let him get you, I promise." She stroked the child's hair for support.

"Sesshoumaru said so too, yet the evil man still took me."

Kagome didn't know what to say. Sesshoumaru made a promise to Rin. Maybe not in the exact words, but it was still a promise, a broken one at that. Rin would never be the same. Kagome remembered what she was here for.

"Rin? Did he put a jewel shard in you?"

"Yes. It hurt when he put it. I don't know what for. I think he never took it out. Sometimes it hurts when I see…when I see them." Kagome knew she spoke of the events that took place within Naraku's fortress.

"We need to get it out, so everything will be ok."

"Will it hurt?"

"Not a bit." Kagome hugged the girl for more comfort. Rin slowly nodded for her permission.

Kagome could feel the shard beat slowly on her left shoulder. She lowered the girl's kimono to look at her shoulder. There was a scar on her back, similar to Sango's. Kagome placed both hands on Rin's back, letting them do the work. There was a dim pink glow that illuminated from her hands when she touched her back. The shard was being purified within the girl, slowly coming out.

Then with a little more force, the dim glow turned into a full blast of pink light, sending her and the child on opposite walls. Rin no longer reeked with evil. Before the child passed out with the full blast, she slowly opened her eyes and looked at her savior, "Thank You."

"You have nothing to be welcome for, wench" Sesshoumaru walked in from the shadows.

"What have you done to her?" His eyes were lessened to slits as he eyed Rin's slumping body and back to her.

"I purified the shard." She showed him her palm that now held the single jewel shard. It was still glowing from the purification. It took most of the strength out of her. The shard had so much evil put into it. This must have been a part of Naraku plan, whatever it is, it doesn't make sense.

"Leave her to me. You need not touch her." He was slowly walking to the girl.

Kagome didn't see the rest of it. She didn't want to further anger the ice king. Once she got out the door, she forgot where she was supposed to go. From the moment she woke, she was in his room, and the only rooms she's been in were Rin's and his.

"Come." When she just stood there, immobile from her recent position, he turned his head to her and gave her the 'you will follow or perish' look. She had no choice but to follow.

When they arrived back in his chamber, she simply just stood at the doorway. 'What's he doing? I'm not sleeping here, with him!'

"Uhm, Sesshoumaru?" When he turned her way, there was that stoic look on his face, that look that could kill. She asked anyway.

"What is it wench?" The human reeked of fear, she was fidgeting. Her eyes looked at everything, but his. She was afraid of him, yet she tried to fight her vulnerability. Interesting, her lips quivered a little when she slowly spoke his name. The way it rolled off her tongue made him…

What was wrong with him? Wanting a human, a weak, pathetic, unimportant, human, was very wrong for a youkai as powerful as him. He never in his long life ever developed any feelings for anyone, not his father, not his pathetic mother, not even Rin and certainly not Jakken.

Something was behind this. Emotions rarely crossed him and this one was affecting him, deeply. Someone dared fool with this Sesshoumaru's emotions. He did not like this. He did not like this one bit. It was a new experience for him. There was a feeling of guilt, lust, envy, jealousy. The uncertainty within the feelings made him feel somewhat lost.

"Can I go home now? I did what I was supposed to do." Kagome didn't want to be around him. He made him feel insecure, lost, and most definitely uncertain of her emotions.

"No. You may not."

"Where am I supposed to sleep?" She sounded annoyed. He wanted to laugh, but he didn't want to risk it.

"You will sleep on the floor. If I let you sleep in a different room, I can assure you, you will try to escape. But you will not succeed wench."

Kagome wasn't affected by his words. She didn't let herself be affected by it. Then why did tears sting her eyes. Was it the thought that she might never see Inuyasha again? Or her friends? Or her family?

She choked the tears down and laid down on the cold hard floor next to the bed. He was already in the bed, probably fast asleep. She, on the other hand, could not. She cried until she was fast asleep with her tear streaked face. This was certainly hell and she would survive and live to tell the tale.


The girl was crying. He could not sleep because of it. The smell stuck to her even after she was fast asleep. The instant the smell hit his sensitive nose; he felt nauseated and closed his eyes, trying to forget the smell. After a complete hour, the smell was gone, but there was a small sound that shattered his thoughts. The sound of teeth chattering together.

The girl was now shivering. Stupid humans and their pathetic needs. She now needed warmth. With a sigh he got up and carried the girl in his bed and put a large blanket on her. The girls shivering now stopped and she was now dozing silently. He didn't mind sleeping with the stupid human, if she was silent and would not bother his own sleep, everything would be fine.

Sesshoumaru closed his eyes, only to have him open it again. There was something touching his tail. No one touched it and lived.

He turned his head slightly to look at what bothered him. And he wasn't at least shocked to find the girl's arms around it, hugging it as if her life depended on it. She buried her face in it. It gave Sesshoumaru a slight shiver of delight run down his back. Only he touched his tail and having others touch it was a death wish. Yet this mere human, touched it and gave him the slight feel of pleasure.

Pleasure? What was he thinking? The miko ran her palm up the base and a low growl came from Sesshoumaru. She needed to stop this, now, before things got worst.

When he was about to slowly detach the girls arms away from it, she quickly wrapped her arms around his chest, her face now buried in his back. Her hands made it through his kimono, touching his chest. The sudden contact made his inner demon scream with joy. 'Take her now. It is she who asks for it. She gives herself to us willingly, take her now.' Nay, he would listen to this foul beast inside of him.

This Sesshoumaru would never touch a pathetic human. Humans were something he hated, he despised. He took the girls arms from his chest and quickly left the bed before she could do anything else.

This human was driving him mad. He thought smelled something, something familiar, but it was gone the moment he could think clearly.

Then it came back. Instantly he knew who it belonged to.

Inuyasha…


Mwuahahaha…Cliffhangers are awesome! Ohk first of all, Naraku's plan will really alter Sesshoumaru's thoughts about humans. It won't be reveled any time soon. This chapter took so long to make because of writers block, but at least I finished. Ohk…

Thanks sooo much for all the reviews…

Miko Sorrow: Thanks! I never knew that was her name, till now!

robin's hope: Rin gets better, Kagome does help, and Sesshoumaru won't ever give her space…Naraku will come out of hiding soon, but I'm not so sure. And profanity is ok because Naraku is an evil bastard. The plot gets thicker soon. I hope! Crosses Fingers

jessica: Nope. I haven't written any other Sesshy and Kagome fics, besides this one. This is my first. But I think I've read that fic, I just don't remember it either. All I can advice with a Sesshy and Kagome fic is that they suddenly come across each other after one gets injured. That's a common way to start a Kagome and Sesshy fic, sometimes Kagome finds Inuyasha and Kikyo together and runs off, and meets up with Sesshy. But I advice to spread out your imagination and think of more original ways, you'll never know if people might like it, but there is no other way to find out. Hope that helped.

And more thanks to:

lyn

angel-demoness7

Demonic-One

Psychotica Bunny

Frozen Perfection

Sora's Chi Aka Kaminari :)

I appreciate it!

See you all next chapter…


Kagome's Last Thought:

'Where the hell are you Inuyasha!'


:Disclaimer:

The characters of Inuyasha do not belong to me. I claim no rights to any, those rights rightfully belong to Rumiko Takahashi. This is a mere fan fiction to show my passion for the anime/manga series created by the talented Rumiko Takahashi.

Mys C -