HEARTS IN DARKNESS X
The next couple of weeks were great and frustrating at the same time. Performing with the 'Remnants' was a ball. After every show we would talk and joke and make fun of each other. Occasionally we would meet with some new slayers, or play poker. Whistler was a great player. And spending time with Dawn was always fun, in many ways. The only cloud was the whole Buffy, Faith thing. Despite Buffy's apology, Faith kept pushing her away. She was friendly up to a point, but any time they looked as though the friendship was getting deeper, Faith's defenses would go to Defcon 1. Her eyes would glaze and the smirk would bloom on her lips, but she shut down. Dawn and I both had talks with Buffy, persuading her that she should keep trying, but every time Faith shot her down. Finally the tour was winding down, and I needed to be gone the day after tomorrow. I was getting tired of this, and was going to give Faith what for. But Dawn got there first. I didn't need augmented hearing to catch their conversation. I could hear it from twenty feet away through a closed door.
Dawn was calling Faith everything but a child of God. Faith was trying to reply, but Dawn kept over-riding her. Telling her how convenient it was to not reach out and then say that the other didn't try hard enough. How easy it was to blame others for your problems. Dawn carried on for another five minutes or so, then came charging out of Faith's office looking like she was ready to chew lead and spit bullets.
After a minute to re-group, Faith came out after her. She would have caught up except for an obstacle, my arm. "You need to have a talk with your girl, Ian" she yelled out, her anger palpable.
I turned and gave her my hardest glare, "I sure do, I need to tell her not to waste her time talking to such a monumental idiot". Faith looked stunned as I just walked away. I took a couple of paces and turned back to Faith "you two are halves of the same whole, everyone in the world seems to know that except the two of you" I turned away, shaking my head.
I found Dawn a few minutes later, crying her eyes out. "You did the right thing" I said as I held her "in fact you were only about 5 minutes ahead of me". She smiled at that.
We held each other for a while, then she looked up at me, "what about tonight?"
I grinned back "the show must go on."
Willy was ecstatic, the venue had sold out. Apparently the 'Faithful Remnants' were developing a bit of a following. The Summers sisters and I were a bit worried about how Faith would be; backstage she was pale and silent. But the music started and she came charging out and totally dominated the stage. I had never heard her sound so into it. She raised the bar and we all followed along. I know that I played my best that night; you were just unable to do anything else. As a group, we were clean, tight and perfect. We finished the set, and did our usual encores; but the crowd was still hungry.
We huddled for a second and Faith said "I've got another one". She nodded at Whistler, he nodded back. We broke while she walked up to the mike, drained but happy.
"Here's a new one, hope you like it" she said. Whistler started in a minor key, low, slow and mournful. Faith mumbled into the mike "I call this one 'Anne'".
I glanced over at Buffy and Dawn and saw four very large eyes staring back at me. We didn't know the tune, so we just sat back and listened as Faith carried us away. She poured out a song of anguish and longing; of someone who was afraid and lonely; of someone unable to trust, but who so wanted so badly to trust. A song of someone who truly believes that she is unworthy of anything good out of life. It made Evanescence sound like Brittany Spears. You were almost afraid that if you listened too long, your soul would be smashed beyond recovery.
Seemingly of its own accord the guitar in my hand was wailing like the damned; Krelvin's bass was dropping notes like black roses on the stage. Buffy and Dawn were backing like pro's, tears streaming down their faces. We were all in a different world, with Faith defining and condemning herself in front of us; and begging for love in return.
The last note faded away, and there was total silence for about two seconds, and then the crowd exploded. I looked out and couldn't see a dry eye in the place. Even cynical Willy was dabbing at the corners. During all the bedlam, Faith just stood there, head down; clutching the mike like it was a lifeline. I wanted to go to her, to hold here and make everything better, but Buffy and Dawn got there first. Fortunately they hit her from two different directions or the lot of them would have gone tumbling off the stage. They just grabbed her and held her. There in the spotlight, center stage, no words no movement, they just held her. And the crowd continued to roar.
Finally, I shot a thought at Dawn and she eased the three of them back to the backing mike.
I walked up to the vox mike and said "I'm Ian, Faith is a little racked, so me and the band are gonna send you home. I turned to see if they were ready, they were; and Druk started the intro. I leaned into the mike "this is for the chosen two" I said. Just the band and I had worked on this, so the looks I got from the girls promised interrogation, damnation and a long period in traction.
You know, that saying 'voice like an Angel' isn't totally bogus. I can sound pretty good when I want, and tonight I gave it my best; those two deserved it.
Like a desert needs rain
Like a town needs a name
I need your love
Like a drifter need a room
Hawkmoon
I need your love
Like a rhythm unbroken
Like drums in the night
Like sweet soul music
Like sunlight
I need your love
As the speed picked up and the drums really kicked in, I started to move and so did the girls. I waved Dawn over, so she was dancing and singing with me; leaving Buffy and Faith alone together at the backing mike.
When the night has no end
And the day yet to begin
As the room spins around
I need your love
Like a Phoenix rising
Needs a holy tree
Like the sweet revenge
Of a bitter enemy
I need your love
Their eyes were closed, but they were facing each other. In the spotlight they looked like a living yin and yang. The write-up in the paper the next day would call them the 'Angels of Light and Darkness'.
Like the thunder needs rain
Like the preacher needs pain
Like tongues of flame
Like a blindman's cane
Like a needle needs a vein
Like someone to blame
Like a thought unchained
Like a runaway train
I need your love
Finally they opened their eyes and were repeating the chorus 'I need all the love in your heart'. They looked like they were doing backing vocals, but anyone that knew them; knew that the rest of the auditorium no longer existed for them; they were singing to and for each other alone. The song ended and again, the crowd roared. If we had given in, we probably still be playing. As it is, we had put in a four hour set.
We waved and went back stage. Once there, we collapsed. I was sitting in an old armchair with Dawn on my lap "that was the most fun I've ever had" she gushed; "no wonder Faith loves singing so much". She was still talking, and I was listening; but my eyes were on Buffy and Faith.
They were looking at each other as though they had never really seen each other before this. You could feel the tension mount and mount. Just before it became unbearable they fell into each others arms, crying and apologizing and babbling and holding each other like they wouldn't ever release the other. I didn't know if they would become lovers, and I really didn't care. They were together, as they should always be.
Soon Willy came bounding back "Faith, hey Faith" he called.
"What up Willy" she answered; then seeing someone else asked "who's your friend?"
A tall, pouty, brunet came forward "Leah Bennet, Virgin records. I just wanted to know if the 'Faithful Remnants' wanted to make some records for us?"
Faiths eyes lit up; then, surprisingly, she turned to Buffy "so, what do you think B?"
Buffy thought for a second "it's your dream Faith, you lead and I follow this time around." I didn't even need to hear the answer, the friendship was obvious and was looking healthy. Dawn and I headed back to the hotel and; despite mutual protestations of exhaustion; we spent the night making love. The morning came much too soon, and after showering (which took longer than usual) we went to find the slayers.
The song is Hawkmoon 265 by U2. Please don' sue me.
