BIG ASS THANKS!
I kinda got annoyed with having to skip over those long thanks authors gave to every single person. But now I understand why they did it. So I'm being a conformist for once in my life...
Oh2bagrapefruit – You've posted more reviews than anyone else. I appreciate your interest from the beginning. I'm thrilled that you love this fic as much as your do. You've been awesome! You said that I write like you, I'll have to check out one of your fics sometime. I'll letcha know what I think!
Draco's Siriusly Lupin – I like how you find this story believable. I do hate it when stories are overly preposterous and hard to believe. I can't lose myself in something that is just too unrealistic.
Mistress-of-Britain – Thank you for the enthusiasm! Glad you like!
Sharap'n Princess – I actually like Evanescence. Hope it doesn't grate you that I used a lot of their songs in this fic. I'm glad you like it though. Dark fics intrigue me.
Nami1 – Loving the keenness to read my work.
Alley Mack – Draco's slap was a bit intense. Thanks for the reviews. Yourfeednacks are well appreciated.
ForeverInDarkness101 - It's kinda depressing how people can relate to this. I'm really sorry about your friend. I myself use to be a cutter, and I know how it can affect people around me. Hope things turn out okay for him/her.
Lady-sanctuary – I'm thrilled you liked the love scene. I was a bit nervous about it. Sometimes the images in my head don't quite spill out on paper like I want them to. Hope the after reactions didn't bum you out too much.
Laurda Felton – I like making things unpredictable. Things would have just been too boring for me if they fell in love the easy way. I like spicing things up. Glad you still approved.
WannaBArtist – Thanks for all the feedbacks! It's very encouraging to have more than one review from someone.
girl88 – I think the begging was a nice touch. LOL. Draco will let her in, eventually. But he's a stubborn ass, so it'll take time. Thanks for the review.
jonadark – Glad you like!
daretodream322 – I've been using the term dumbfuck for ages hun. It's my word. LOL.
gummyness – Your review was so sweet. Don't worry, my ego is still deflated. Yeah, happy go lucky fics bug me too. I like reading mushy gushy love fics every now and then. But sometimes that's all people write. I know I have a good sense of reality. I've been through hell and back in a hand basket. I've got lots of stories… LOL keep reading. I hope you continue with this lovely feedback!
sophia elenchild – to be honest, half the time I don't have a clue what my philosophical ideas mean. I write things down when I think of them, then I go back and review it. Eventually it all makes sense to me and I think "wow… I said that?" Glad you like!
HogwartzBoizRHottiez – I couldn't agree more with your screen name! They're sexy… growl LOL. I share the same love/hate feelings for Draco. He can be such an ass, but you can't just hate him. It urgs me…
Lady Serena – Glad you like!
hotaru420 – Thanks for the encouragement.
undercoverfreak – Middle of nowhere is the place to be! LOL. Glad you liked the poem. I'm a big poetry fanatic. I'll have to add more if I can…
darktwistepoet – Nice name. I appreciated your feedback. I have to keep things smoothly written. There's nothing worse than trying to read a fic and it's teaming with typos and bumps. Big turn off… Glad you like!
I would also like to thank the anonymous writers: Meg, SaveEmilyChick, Kristina, Erin, Breeznby, MyBlackWolves, and Me... lol, thank you Me... I wish I could have gone to ya'lls profile or something, but your reviews still meant a lot to me.
I'm so sorry if I missed anyone so far. Let me know so you can get the recognition you deserve!
Whew... wipes sweat from forehead That was long... but worth it. Onward!
Disclaimer: I own nothing, just the plot. Songs in this chapter are "Slipped Away" and "Take me Away", both by Avril Lavigne.
Chapter Twelve
Na na, na nana na na
I miss you, miss you so bad
I don't forget you, oh it's so sad
I hope you can hear me
I remember it clearly
The day you slipped away
Was the day I found
It won't be the same, oh
His heart crumbled with each glance he shot towards her. Harry had grown up in a world that defied natural adolescence. Living with the Dursleys, he was never loved, and struggled to stay alive under Dudley's grip. Finding out that he was a wizard had been the best thing for him. But in the wizard world, he still wasn't allowed to grow up normally, even under their conditions. He was always the boy-who-lived. He was supposed to be the hero, saving the lives of millions from Voldemort. Nothing was ever fair. Nothing was ever normal.
If finding out that he was a wizard was the best thing to ever happen to him, falling in love with Hermione was defiantly the second best thing. He couldn't even count all the times she had risked her own life to save his. She was brilliant, stubborn, and loyal. Harry knew he had neglected her more than any human deserved. He had let the words of others drive him to make the biggest regret he had ever made.
Na na,
na nana na na
I didn't get around to kiss you,
goodbye on the hand
I wish that I could see you again,
I know that I can't,
Harry knew that things would never be the same between them when he broke up with her. As stated before, Hermione was brilliant. She was poles apart from the other girls in this school. She didn't flow with the crowd and she was never absorbed with all the drama. Thus it was understandable how she had reacted when Harry broke up with her. She disapproved, and said some things to Harry that he would never forget.
I hope you can hear me
I remember it clearly
The day, you, slipped away
Was the day I found
It won't be the same, ooh
I have had my wake up
Won't you wake up.
I keep asking why.
I can't take it
It wasn't fake.
It happened you passed by.
Harry was fool for letting her go. He tried to win her back, but she had been burned to deep to just forgive him. Their history was an unusual one, full of things not many people could comprehend.
Now you're gone
(Now you're gone)
There you go
(There you go)
Somewhere I can't bring you back
Now you're gone
(Now you're gone)
There you go
(There you go)
Somewhere you're not coming back
The day, you, slipped away
Was the day I found
It won't be the same,
No, the day you slipped away
Was the day I found it won't be the same, oh
Harry sighed again. He blinked hard to rid his eyes of the hazy film beginning to cover them.
He was determined. He loved her, and once upon a time she had returned that love. After learning of her step-father's abuse, Harry knew he couldn't turn back. He needed her in his arms, he needed to comfort her. That night had been special, consoling her after she had woken up from that nightmare.
Harry hadn't been sure of too many things in his life. He never believed he was the right person chosen to defeat Voldemort. He sure as hell didn't feel he was right for the job. He had questioned Dumbledore and those prophecies an abundant amount of times. But he was sure of this. He was sure of his feelings for Hermione. He was sure of what he wanted.
But how would he get her back? Hermione was a tricky specimen. She had never fallen for the old charms guys used to throw at her in the past. She didn't play hard to get, she just flat out was. Harry shook his head, trying to gain back the focus in class that he had lost earlier.
Na na, na nana na na
I miss you
Meanwhile, another soul looked onto Hermione. His thoughts lingered somewhat with the same passion as Harry's, but with a different type of rage and fury.
I cannot find a way to describe it
It's there inside, all I do is hide
I wish that it would just go away
What would you do, you do, if you knew
What would you do
Anger, frustration, anxiety. His breathing increased with every step he took, until he had eventually broken out into a run. Reaching his room, he slammed the door, throwing his bag down.
Pace, that's what he had to do. Pace all of these thoughts and feelings off.
All the pain I thought I knew
All the thoughts lead back to you
Back to what was never said
Back and forth inside my head
I can't handle this confusion
I'm unable, come and take me away
Pacing wasn't helping, pacing wasn't doing shit. Draco let out a growl. He grabbed the nearest object and threw it at the wall with as much force as possible. The sound of shattering filled his ears, though he paid no attention to what exactly he had thrown.
I feel like I am all alone
All by myself I need to get around this
My words are cold, I don't want them to hurt you
If I show you, I don't think you'd understand
Cause no one understands
Why was he in this predicament? He had gotten rid of her a long time ago. He had finished her off. He had smashed her, crumbled her spirit to tiny shards.
So why did he still care?
After detaching himself from the rodent, Draco had attempted to take his life again. Obviously it hadn't worked. He still couldn't do it, and it was pissing him off like no other.
All the pain I thought I knew
All my thoughts lead back to you
Back to what was never said
Back and forth inside my head
I can't handle this confusion
I'm unable, come and take me away
Her images still resided in his mind's eye. He could still feel her, still taste her. He still remembered every touch, every sound. He could recall perfectly the way she had screamed his name when they made love.
He was going in circles and it was driving him insane.
I'm going no where (on and on and)
I'm getting no where (on and on and on)
Take me away
I'm going no where (on and on and on and on)
(and off and on and off and on)
All the pain I thought I knew
All my thoughts lead back to you
Back to what was never said
Back and forth inside my head
I can't handle this confusion
I'm unable, come and take me away
Take me away
Break me away
Take me away
Take me away
It wouldn't stop, she would never stop. Draco would live forever, and he dreaded it.
Letting out another growl, Draco stormed around his room. He needed a distraction. Pansy wasn't good enough anymore. He needed something bigger, something that would last longer.
Draco stopped moving. His shoulders relaxed and let out a pent up breath. It was useless. He knew it. Giving up his internal conflicts, he headed for his bathroom. He needed a nice scolding shower. He needed to peel of her scent that had permanently clung to his skin.
