MY COMPUTER HAS MENTAL ISSUES!!! Anyway, I'm updating. Bon Appetit!!!

CHAPTER SIX!!!

A special thanks to C.T Saiyukily Twisted for being my first reviewer and reviewing every chapter so far!!!

I own nothing! NOOOOOOTHIIIIING!!! (but my stuff)

Chapter Six...Once Upon A Time In New York

As was in last chapter, the four boys were driving along in no apparent place, until--

VROOOM!!! When a car that was heading right toward the jeep, but it swearved and the driver flipped the four off and cursed at them in an odd language.

"Tell me something," asked Sanzo,"Was that maniac speaking...English?"

"Sounded like it...," agreed Hakkai. They all look up and see very tall buildings surrounding the road they were on. Cars kept coming at them and swerving and the drivers kept yelling at them for driving on the wrong side of the road.

"Odd...Oh, my God...I think...I think we're in...New York, New York," stammered Hakkai.

"The Big Apple?" asked Goku, who was chowing on some riceballs,"I thought that place was a myth, an URBAN myth."

"No, you idiot," said Gojyo,"Giant apples are an urban myth, not the Big Apple."

"I'm confused and dizzy..."

"I heard that there's bars, and casinos, and women, and...See ya!" shouted Gojyo, who promptly jumped out of the moving vehicle.

"THAT'S DANGEROUS!...Oh, well...," sighed Hakkai.

"I'm gonna get out too, bye!" claimed Sanzo, before jumping out in the same fashoin.

"...Both of them..."

"Um, Hakkai?" asked Goku.

"Yes?"

Goku stared for a moment,"Are there restaurant here?"

"Yeah, I think so. Why?" Goku had already jumped out,"I'm all alone...SWEET!" Hakkai then proceeded to press his brakes to the floor and, well, floored it. This caused more digruntled New Yorkers to yell and swear at the "crazy Jap".

Meanwhile, Gojyo strode into the nearest bar and immediatly started an interesting conversation with the bartender (woman). He pulled out a cigarette and started smoking, and then ordered the most potent drink they had.

Elsewhere, Sanzo was walking down the street. New Yorker girls whispered to eachother about his odd attire,"You got a problem, ladies?" Sanzo asked, pionting his gun at them. They turned around and ran screaming. Sanzo continued his stride.

Meanwhile elsewhere, Goku was walking along a different road. He looked up at a random moment and saw many different types of restaurants from all over the world all along the same street.

"Sweet mother of...I've struck the jackpot oil-well!!!" Goku cried,"American fast food, Chinese, Italian, Indian, Australian, German, even Japanese!!! The last time I've eaten was...The last time!"

Goku rushed out into oncoming traffic, the only thought running through his mind was how much he was going to eat at each restaurant. VROOM!!! Went cars as they swearved to pass him up. As you might imagine, this caused major accidents.

"GAH!!! Stupid kids and their 'I'm dumb and walk in streets' act!!!" yelled Hakkai as he avoided Goku as well, unaware of the boys identity. He drove of (he has learned by now the ways New Yorkers "greet" middle finger cough).

Goku walks into the nearest restaurant, which was Italian. A wonderful, tomato-y smell teasingly wafted under Goku's nostrils,"...Mm...Squid..." (yes Goku, squid... sweatdrop)

Goku walks past the waitress at the front who takes peoples names and tells them to wait,"Um, sir, you can't go back there...Sir!"

In a daze, still following the smell,"No hable enrish, madmoiselle-chan..."

"...What country is he from?" the waitress asked herself.

The doors to the kitchen open, reveiling a dazed young man to the cooks,"'ey! We don'ta servea no stoned kidsa no more!!!" yelled one cook.

"Oh, quit the accent, Bob, you're only insulting yourself," said another cook. Goku's stomach growls loud enough the shake the pots that were molecules!!!" cried Goku as he jumped up in the air.

"AAAHHH!" screamed the cooks as they leaped out of the boy's path,"NOOO!!! Not the mozzerella!!!" cried Bob, as he thrusts himself at Goku. Goku kicks him in a place shall remain nameless and heads for the (still in the process of cooking) food. He lands in a large (boiling) pot, and starts to eat what ever he mouth reaches. Bits and peices if italian fly everywhere.

Meanwhile, Gojyo now had a group of women around him. They gasp when he tells the climax of an exciting story he went through in real life,"Oh, you brave son!" cried a woman from Alabama.

"Here's the spare key to my room if you want to...you know," asked a woman from behind Gojyo. He grabs the key without looking at the woman,"Why, is that an invit-" he turns around an his jaw drops, spilling out the alchohal he just sipped.

Before him stood either an eight-month pregnant woman in a tube top and short skirt with numerous tattoes and piercings and a bad dental plan, or some kind of govermental experiment.

"Um...I-I just remembered...I gotta go meet up with my pal, ya see, he's waitin'...," Gojyo studdered as the keys dropped to the floor.

"Oh?" said a woman who seemed to have a bad smell up her nose,"You'd rather see a boyfriend then spent a night with a girl? Whattera, gay?"

All Gojyo heard was "gay" because of her accent,"You wanna start somethin' bitch?!"

"Maybe I do," she snapped her fingers, and about twenty other women stand behind her.

"...," Gojyo stood up,"Well...uh...GEEGAH!!!" he jumped out the nearest window.

"Hey, you little bastard! You didn't pay your tab!!!" bellowed the waitress.

"Come on, girls!" yelled the woman with the "invitation". All of the women pulled out either a gun, mallet, or some other instrument of torture. They charge out the doors of the bar. Some men sitting in the back say the following,"That prick got all the chics! Get 'em!" the guys charge out after the mob of women.

The manager had only one thing to say,"Well, SOMEBODY'S gettin' fired."

Elsewhere, Sanzo was still striding along the street. He kept walking until he saw a large group of people were crowded around a window to a T.V. store. Sanzo pointed his gun at everyone and got ahead of the crowd.

"Today, on the 6 o'clock news...," said the anchor man on the many screens.

"Um, Hank, it's not six...," said the anchorwoman.

"It is in Japan, Gloria," the pair laughed.

"No, it's not...," thought Sanzo.

"Back on track, Todays headlines are..," the anchor man continues. Sanzo turns to leave, his attention span spent,"Young brown-haired asian boy wearing a gold headband is eating every morsal of food in every restaurant in the city..." Sanzo turns back around and sees Goku on the screen being chased by the NYPD holding food in his arms.

"HAHA! You'll never catch me, I'm the Gingerbreadman!!!" Goku cried as the cops start to shoot.

"Goku...?" asked Sanzo.

"You now that luney?" asked a person in the crowd.

"Um...no."

"Also, in today's news," said the anchor woman,"Another asian male, who is drunken, with long pink hair in currently being chased by a mob of drunken angry females who are being chased by a mob of drunken horney males."

"Gloria, you can't say that word on the news!" yelped the anchor man.

"What, asian?"

"GAH!!! Get away from me, you Americans!!!" cried Gojyo on the screen.

"Gojyo...?" asked Sanzo, his jaw slack.

"You know that drunk?" asked the same bystander.

"Um...no."

"Also in other news, yet ANOTHER asian male is driving in a jeep, speeding along the roads, possibly on drugs. He is causing many costly accidents in his wake. Oh? What's this? He seems to be chanting something..."

"...Livin' in a gangster's paradise!!!" yelled Hakkai as he speed, chased by more NYPD.

"He seems to be chanting lines from a famous rapper's song!"

"Hakkai...?" asked Sanzo, who was know on his knees.

"You know that crazy Jap?" asked the bystander.

"Um...no."

THISISTHEENDOFTHISCHAPTER

Whew, it's long. Next time, how Sanzo gets his friends out of major, major, MAJOR jail time (and drug rehab)!!!

Review, onegai!