This story was written by Trojan Cheese and Selenes Song.
Trojan Cheese: This is my first fanfiction story. It is really stupid and random so please enjoy it.
Selenes Song: Trojan Cheese and I worked on this story together at school because who really needs math and history? Enjoy!
Chapter 1:
The Letter and Its Sender
Common Room:
Owl/ flies in and drops letter on Harry's lap/
Harry: Look a letter! I think I'll read it/opens letter/
Ron: Sure whatever, you do that.
Harry/reads letter/ 'Dear Harry and Friends, I am Lord Voldemort. How are you? If you are fine, you should not be. Come to my house on Friday the 13th. Be there or be square.'
Hermione: Oh no! What will we do?
Ron: I don't know.
Hermione and Ron: Good luck Harry. /leave/
Harry: Wow what great friends. It's just you and me now owl.
Owl/flies out window in a hurry, but not before he leaves a parting gift/
Harry: Ok, it's just me. /picks at owl droppings/ Smells like putrefaction. Yummy!
Voldemort's House
Voldemort: Ha ha ha ha! Those robots Ron and Hermione I made worked perfectly! Now Harry will come to me…alone…
Ron: MMfil!
Voldemort: What did you say/takes duct tape off Ron's mouth/
Ron: OUCH!
Voldemort: Ouch?
Ron: No, that's not what I said! I said 'Never!'
Voldemort: Yes, er, what does that mean?
Ron: I don't know it just sounded good.
Voldemort: Here's a dictionary. Look it up. I'm far to busy plotting evil plots. /hands him the dictionary and strokes his chin trying to seem smart/
Ron: How do you spell never?
Voldemort: I don't know. That's why you have a dictionary!
Ron: Oh, ok/leafs through pages and thinks to self/ Wow! This dictionary is pretty heavy. It would make a great weapon. Oh well! / continues to search for 'Never'/
Voldemort: Now where was I…? Oh yes, I was writing a letter. /reads out loud while writing/ 'Dear Auntie Loo Loo, Thank you ever so much for the squishy whooshy pink pillow and the loofa named Jimmy. I love them oh so much!'
Hermione: I hame fluffy nucumple!
Voldemort: Are you laughing at me/pets loofa named Jimmy and takes duct tape off Hermione/
Hermione/shakes head/ No, I said I have to go to the bathroom!
Voldemort: Oh, ok then go. /unties her/
Hermione/walks away whistling "Whistle While You Work"/
Ron: I found it!
Voldemort: Go on! Read what it says.
Ron: Ok! 'Pronoun
1. Used to refer to that one previously mentioned. Used of a nonhuman entity; an animate being whose sex is unspecified, unknown, or irrelevant; a group of objects or individuals; an action; or an abstraction: polished the table until it shone; couldn't find out who it was; opened the meeting by calling it to order. 2. Used as the subject of an impersonal verb: It is snowing. 3. a. Used as an anticipatory subject or object: Is it certain that they will win? b. Used as an anticipatory subject to emphasize a term that is not itself a subject: It was on Friday that all the snow fell. 4. Used to refer to a general condition or state of affairs: She couldn't stand it. 5. Used to refer to a crucial situation or culmination: This is it-the rivals are finally face to face. That's it! I won't tolerate any more foolishness. 6. Informal Used to refer to something that is the best, the most desirable, or without equal: He thinks he's it. That steak was really it!
Noun
1. Games A player, as in tag, who attempts to find or catch the other players. 2. An animal that has been neutered: The cat is an it.'
Voldemort: You bothersome fiend! I wanted you to look up the word 'Never'
Ron: Oh, I know that! It means to have a loofa of a day.
Voldemort/slaps head/ Never mind… Are you sure?
Ron: No. /tosses book out window/
Window/breaks/
Voldemort: Cheap glass…
Hermione/comes back laughing/ Ha ha! Your bathroom is PINK! Ha ha!
Voldemort/turns red/ My sister painted it…
Ron: PINK/burst into tears of laughter/
Voldemort: Ahh! I can't take it! I'm sending you back!
Ron and Hermione: Yay for being annoying!
Voldemort/pushes Ron and Hermione on a big red X on the floor. Then he pushes a random red button/
Red X/springs upward/
Ron and Hermione/ fly upward all the way back to Hogwarts/
Ron: Whee! That was fun!
Hermione: Let's do it again!
Ron and Hermione/land next to Womping Willow/ Oh no…!
Authors' Note: Did we tell you that it would be retarded? We warned you… Please Read and Review! And tune in next time for Peter the Hobbit Saves the Day! (twice!)
