There was an awkward silence. Aerith stepped away from Sephiroth, and met his shining gaze. It was strange, she had been determined not to let fear undermine her duties this time around, but there was a world of difference between deciding not to fear something, and actually being unafraid. Yet, here she was, faced with the person who had once been her greatest fear, and she was entirely unafraid. It occurred to her that this was because there was no sign of Jenova in him, and his first act in meeting her had been to save her life, but that was irrelevant, they were here now, and what would come, would come.
A lot passed, unsaid, between their gazes, in a manner that only two who had shared a profound experience could achieve, and so little time was wasted with such questions as the average person would ask. Instead, Aerith nodded and asked, simply "Where are you headed?"
"Mideel, you?"
Aerith closed her eyes for a moment, listening to the Planet, it was singing now, wordlessly, giving no indication of direction but, rather, a simple indication that all was well.
"I… think I'm going where you're going." Anyone else would have asked if that was okay, yet they both knew Sephiroth would agree.
"Ah." Sephiroth nodded quietly to himself, it made sense that the Planet would guide her to the others, though he wondered if she was ready to be reunited with them, after all that had happened – and wondered if they would be ready to see her again, as well. A short pause, and then he said simply, "You should know… I'm going to see Cloud, and Tifa too," the question clear in his glowing gaze.
"I thought so. I have to see them again eventually, anyway."
Another nod, "We should get moving, it's a long way to Mideel."
Aerith nodded silently and the two continued their journey, walking south, each in their own little world, thinking about everything that had happened recently. For a long time, the journey was in silence, Sephiroth setting a gentle pace, so as not to tire Aerith over the long journey, Aerith silently grateful for the gesture, knowing Sephiroth could cover the distance a lot faster on his own. The silence didn't last forever, however, and eventually…
"Aerith… how, no… why are we here?" his voice was calm, yet holding a hint of frustration at not knowing, Sephiroth had never been fond of ignorance, least of all in himself.
"I don't know… All I could say… is that the Planet brought us back, it must need us…"
"If it needs me… it must be something to do with… her…" He still didn't like saying Jenova's name.
"Is Jen-… she still inside you… I mean, do you still her voice?" Aerith noted the reluctance to say her name perhaps a moment too late, and refrained from using it herself.
There was a long silence, and for a while, Aerith thought perhaps she had overstepped a boundary, and then Sephiroth let out a deep sigh. "I think the Planet cleansed me in some way – her grip has… weakened, but she is still there…"
A deep sorrow settled into Aerith's eyes, both at the knowledge that she may once again lose Sephiroth to Jenova, and at what she was about to ask, yet she had to know.
"H-how long…? How long can you fight her?"
Another long silence, Sephiroth didn't know how to answer the question, after all, it was not a topic he was fond of contemplating, and he definitely didn't want to put a date on when he would lose himself to her clutches again. This time the silence was broken by Aerith's voice.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't ha-"
"It's okay, Aerith…," a brief pause, and then, "I don't know, though… I think with you around, I can hold her off indefinitely." It wasn't flattery, or an expression of affection, just a simple acknowledgement of the fact that Jenova seemed to quieten when Aerith was around.
Then, the two fell quiet again, each of them privately wondering what was to come.
Meanwhile, in Mideel, Cloud stood alone, reminiscing. The room he was in was a strange one, in that it was entirely bare, except for one wall, on which were mounted every sword Cloud had ever wielded. This was where the former warrior came to think.
He was growing restless. Although during the days, Cloud kept himself occupied in helping to rebuild the ruined town, at night he grew weary, some part of him, deep down, realising that he was meant for battle, and was unnecessary in these peaceful times. As his eyes roamed quietly over his extensive collection of swords, his mind wandered back over times past.
Tifa watched Cloud silently from the doorway, her large brown eyes filled with concern. Cloud had been coming here far too often, lately, and she could only wonder how long it would take him to adjust to a life without war, if he was to adjust at all. She took a few steps closer, her arms gently wrapping around one of his, "Dinner's ready, Cloud…"
Cloud smiled gratefully, Tifa had been trying so hard to look after him, ever since he had started letting his thoughts drift.
"Thanks, Tif." He let out a quiet sigh, and let Tifa lead him from the room.
Meanwhile, Aerith and Sephiroth had taken a break from their journey in Fort Condor, for shelter and to stock up on supplies. In their separate rooms, the two slept, or at least they tried. In her room, Aerith sat up in her bed, listening to the Planet. Something was wrong, but she couldn't discern what it was, no matter how hard she tried, she could gather no more than an ominous feeling – the knowledge that something would soon go horribly wrong.
In his room, Sephiroth lay still, fighting, part of him thinking back to when they had arrived…
As the two of them passed FortCondor, Sephiroth came to a halt, one hand rising to gently grip Aerith's shoulder. "We should stop here. We don't have any supplies to set up camp, and we won't reach another settlement before Mideel, we should get some rest, and stock up on supplies."
And so the two had entered FortCondor. When they asked for somewhere to sleep, they had of course, opted for separate rooms – but part of Sephiroth had wanted to share a room, fearing what may happen if he left Aerith's presence. He had his pride, however, and didn't want to seem weak, that and he knew it wouldn't be proper for them to share. Besides, he had been fighting Her off fairly well before he had run into Aerith, hadn't he…?
Jenova, however, seemed stronger now, as if all the respite from her corruption brought by Aerith's presence had simply given Jenova time to gather her strength. Now she fought with a vengeance. Whereas before she had laid siege upon the castle of Sephiroth's mind, now she tore down the gates, stormed it, and pillaged.
Sephiroth's eyes opened, the emerald glow within flaring, a twisted smirk marring his face. He slowly rose to his feet.
No… not again. Let me go!
He reached out to take his sword… then let it go, this would be far more enjoyable with his bare hands.
Damn you, vile bitch! Let go of my mind!
Make me, my child, you are so strong, after all…
He left his room without a sound, not wanting to wake anyone until the deed was done.
Oh, god, no…
He entered her room, and two emerald gazes met, as strong, slender fingers wrapped around a slim, smooth throat – deep within them, there was recognition. This had happened before…
In his most desperate hour while his mind was soft and weak, Sephiroth had almost let go but for the soft humming in the back of his skull. It came to him just as the voice urged him on. A brilliant blue light, so pure that it temporarily drove the sickness from him. He opened his eyes, jubiliant at the hum's return and the voice's quick retreat. A smile curled at his lips, genuine with joy. Quickly fading as he contemplated what his eyes showed him. A vision from his nightmares. His hand wrapped around a slim neck, frightened green orbs gazing at him lazily on the verge of death. Yes, he'd had a dream like this before. His memory being what it was, he rarely remembered once he awoke. But this one had haunted him. He dreamt of killing something so pure that'd stain his soul even until after his death…
Aerith, however, had learned from her mistake, and was stronger now than she had been then, it was a struggle to speak but she tried, her eyes not scared, but pleading, "Stop, Sephiroth, you're stronger than this… fight her…" She didn't attempt to struggle against the hand around her throat – that was a battle that she could not win, the real struggle was for her assailant's mind.
His grip tightened about her neck, "She still talks… that will stop soon… choke the words from her throat…"
Aerith felt herself weakening, she could still breathe, but only just, part of her dimly aware that she wasn't getting enough air to sustain her. She realised that she was going to lose to Jenova yet again. "Please, Sephiroth… don't give in to her, you have to fight her… I know you can, you're stronger than her, Sephiroth… please…"
His glowing gaze flared once again, deep within his eyes, a hint of panic could be seen "Quiet! Impudent Cetra…" then, "Why does she still speak… how does she still breathe…?"
There was a hint of confusion, now, in his eyes, as his consciousness hung on the brink.
Aerith felt herself growing weaker still, eyes heavy, begging to drift shut. So this is what I amount to, granted another life, only to fail again and die… No. Even as victory flared in Sephiroth's eyes, renewed strength gathered in Aerith's…
"Stop it, Sephiroth!" Her voice uncharacteristically fierce – she would not lose to Jenova again. With what strength remained in her limbs, she brought her open palm across Sephiroth's face.
There was a moment of shock. No one slapped Sephiroth. Ever. As if the shock was too much for either Jenova or Sephiroth to grasp, bewilderment entered Sephiroth's eyes. And Sephiroth realised what he was doing.
His hands pulled away from her neck as if burned, eyes widening in sickened horror, staring at his hands as he held them in front of his face. "Oh god…"
Aerith slumped slightly, sitting on her bed, gasping for breath, hands leaping to her won throat, kneading the flesh that had been crushed under Sephiroth's fingers, knowing that it would bruise by morning. Her eyes followed Sephiroth's gaze to his hands, completely lost as to what to say or do, but her eyes took in his hands, and what she could see of his forearms, saw the fading scars, she stood up, moving to him.
"Aerith…I…"
"Your hands, what ha-," then she realised what might have happened to his hands, knowing Sephiroth, "Oh, Se-"
As if the horror of what he had done hadn't been enough, Aerith had seen what he had done to himself in previous times of weakness. I am so… weak. His pride wounded, he felt the sudden urge to be somewhere else, away from Aerith's compassionate, forgiving gaze. A gaze of which he was so unworthy.
"I must… leave…" no time for excuses, he just wanted to be away, he turned to leave, but stopped when he felt Aerith's hand on his shoulder.
"No, Sephiroth. I won't let her win again. You need me. Stay."
Sephiroth stayed immobile for a moment, then whispered an almost inaudible "Very well." Without looking to his victim and saviour even once, he walked to one of the spare beds and sat on the edge, his eyes shut, his head in his hands, fingers buried in long, pale hair. Aerith watched for a moment, then walked over to his bed, sitting behind him, eyes filled with concern and pity, one hand moving to his hair, smoothing it as a mother might with a child.
"…You okay, Sephiroth?" she winced even as she said it, it was such a cliché, and the answer an obvious negative – yet the situation wasn't exactly common, how was one supposed to comfort the person who, moments ago, had had his fingers around her throat?
"She's just… so damn strong." His voice filled with frustration and self-loathing, "And I'm so weak."
"You beat her, Sephiroth, you're still yourself, that's what counts."
"I needed your help – that's the thing, I … can't beat her without you," it was as if that admission, though he had known it for a long time, had to be torn from him, eating at his soul – he had never needed help to attain victory.
"So you need help. Everyone needs help eventually, Sephiroth. You may be the greatest warrior that ever lived, but you're still a human inside. And I will help you for as long as you need me."
Still human inside… the amount of times he had doubted that, those words were so soothing, even apart from her comforting, he wondered for a moment if she knew how much they helped, then dismissed the thought – of course she knew.
"Thank you, Aerith… I owe you… so much." He sighed quietly, calm for now.
"Shh… It's okay, I need you as much as you need me, Sephiroth… I'd be dead now, if you hadn't killed those monsters… Now, we should both be getting some sleep. Goodnight, Sephiroth, sleep well…"
"You too, Aerith."
And once they had settled into their respective beds, they did.
-End Chapter 9-
Author's Notes:
· Wasn't sure what to call the chapter, so if you don't think the name fits… I apologise.
· Overall, I don't think I was very pleased with this chapter – while I liked what happened, it's been too long since I wrote Chapter 8, and my writing style's slipping. So I'm sorry 'bout that too.
· Also, I'd like to apologise for the end of Chapter 8, I don't think I wrote it as well as I should have, as it looked far too much like Aerith and Seph were united and such, whereas Aerith was just distressed and Sephiroth protective. I tried to rewrite it, but it still sucked, so I'm gonna leave it the same :-/
· Lastly, sorry it's been so long, but I've just started my last set of school exams and my computer caught Sasser a few weeks back, so that slowed me down.
· Review me!
