Disclaimer: not mine
Notes: Yay...one more chapter after this and I'll be done...this is going to be it for a while, since I'm going on spring vacation. Have a good read.
-x-
Grief, Yuuta decided, was a very complex expression. It was loss, shock, pain, want, and maybe underneath all the layers, was relief. As far as he could tell, those emotions were so plain on Saeki's face as if they were actually written there.
"Kunimitsu takes good care of me." Fuji was saying, "He always does…"
"Sure."
It was not the first time he had seen.
"Aniki, open the door. I know you're in there."
The reply, short, muffled. "Go away."
"You know you've locked yourself in for two hours, sooner or later they'll start asking questions, and you're going to have to tell them that you and Tezuka-san broke up." Yuuta did not mean to say that for coyness, he meant it for real. "You can't tell them that. You know how Mom feels about that sort of thing…"
"We did not break up, we just agreed not to see each other for a little while." This answer was more like a sigh, nevertheless, the door opened, "What?" Fuji was wearing an overly large t-shirt with a large green Q in the center, complete with a blanket wrapped around his shoulders.
"Aniki, what happened?" Being a fourteen-year-old boy, Yuuta seldom found the right words for anything, but, "…your face, it's really pale, and green, like you've seen a ghost or something. And what are you wearing?" he could always tell his brother was in a bad mood when he'd forgotten how to dress.
"I'm always pale." His aniki smiled reassuringly, though the smile itself was somewhat disturbing, "I'm all right. Really, Yuuta, you worry too much."
Are you, really? Yuuta didn't have the guts to say that aloud, so he merely said, "Yumiko-neesan wants you down for dinner." The expression on his brother's face was more than enough to chase him out of the room.
"Don't worry, I'll be down in just a minute."
"…All right, Yuuta, you can come out now." Saeki looked to the corner of the hallway where Yuuta was hidden snugly (or so he thought) behind the houseplant he had bought last month, "This is nothing sacred."
The younger Fuji stepped out into the open; Saeki was the only one in the room, lunging on the couch, trying his best to appear casual, though of course he didn't exactly succeed. "Where did aniki go?"
"Syusuke left," the other sounded very dry, "I think the rest you can guess."
"And you let him go?" Yuuta's voice held undisguised surprise.
"What else do you want me to do, Yuuta? Chain him to the wall? That might be nice if I could find a chain strong enough." Saeki returned mockingly, he hauled himself into an upright position, "Handling your brother is a very task to keep up with. I'm sure you know that."
"I know." Yuuta looked away, he toyed with a loose thread on his sweater, "Do you think Tezuka-san will take him back?"
"Whatever Syusuke wants, Syusuke gets. Except maybe Tezuka. We'll see." Saeki ran a hand rather distractedly through his hair. "What do you think?"
"…I…" Yuuta was having a hard time deciding how to phrase his answer without hurting the feelings of the other, "Aniki and Tezuka-san aren't like that…they, well, they…" he paused.
Saeki seemed to sense what the younger one was thinking and supplied dully, "Go on, you've said that much."
"They just aren't like that, it's almost like they're communicating by telepathy or something like that, I remember when aniki told me once that the locker room lock was jammed and fifteen minutes later, Tezuka-san picked the lock and let him out, and it was really late too." Yuuta rushed out the explanation in one breath and looked to Saeki for the reprimand.
None came, instead, just the opposite, "You don't want your aniki to get hurt again, do you?"
Yuuta glanced up, "Huh?"
"There is one other person that you should ask." Saeki fished his car keys from his pocket and tossed them to him, "If you want answers, he'll give them to you."
Yuuta nodded. Though why Saeki thought that Tezuka-san would give him answers on a subject that was closed even to his closest acquaintances was beyond him, "I'll be back, Sae-san."
"Mind you, bring the car back in one piece." It was a helpless attempt at humor, then again, it might have been much more serious: Mind you, bring Syusuke back in one piece. It was too close a comparison. Yuuta ducked out the door before Saeki could change his mind.
-x-
The clock chimed seven thirty. Kajimoto and Fuji would have met by now. Tezuka spun the pen aimlessly between his thumb and forefinger. He vaguely wondered how much the tensai would tell, and more importantly, how much Kajimoto would believe.
He snapped to attention when Inui entered the room with his arms loaded with notebooks and textbooks, "Where are you going?"
"Tutoring flunkies. I have to get money for the rent, you know." Inui answered, shifting his weight so that he could slip on his shoes.
"Don't you need to take a backpack?"
"Nope. It's good training this way." He was gone, "Don't wait up."
"No, no, you don't understand, it's not what it looks like, I swear, Kunimitsu…Kunimitsu!"
"Skip it." He walked with brisk steps of one who wanted to escape.
"His parents were getting divorced and it was really hard on him and I was just…he wanted to kill himself! He had a knife and everything…Kunimitsu, please…"
"Stop babbling, it doesn't suit you. If it means so much to you then go back to him."
"Kunimitsu, you're not listening to me."
"Do you expect me to?"
"Stop that, please, and just listen," an imploring hand reached out and caught him by the sleeve. "Kunimitsu, please listen."
"Just." Tezuka took a deep breath and removed the other's grip on his sleeve with pained gentleness, "Go. Away. And plus, someone else needs your pity, have you forgotten?"
"No, he doesn't, and I wasn't doing that! Kunimitsu, you…"
"It's Tezuka, Fuji." A part of him wanted to give the other a good shake and a lecture, like a younger sibling, but his dignity steeled him against doing so, "Just leave me alone. I want to be alone."
The figure finally got the message, and began to retreat back toward the playground, where the benches were, and where he was. "No, it's Kunimitsu to me, and Syusuke to you. Always."
He could think of nothing to counter that. The blue eyes, everything in them begged forgiveness.
The doorbell rang twice. Tezuka stayed silent, anticipating the "Hoi, hoi, Tezuka! Open up!" that would surely come after, but then, there was nothing. "Come in, the door is unlocked." He said tonelessly.
If it wasn't Kikumaru, it was probably Oishi, and if it wasn't Oishi, it was probably Echizen, and if it wasn't Echizen, it was…
His
"…Aniki's not here with you?"
-x-
"Which, Kajimoto-san?" Fuji's smile was getting creepier by the minute. Kajimoto stared down at the concrete, trying to gather what little concentration he had left.
"I have a question, Fuji-san."
"What?" the smile tensed, oh so very slightly.
"Tezuka does not deal out specific silent treatment for no reason."
Fuji was unnerved, Kajimoto observed with guilty satisfaction. He had never taken pleasure in others' discomfort before, it was a new feeling, not exactly bad, not exactly good. But the sandy-haired boy recovered quite quickly. "Ah…Kajimoto-san, so you are one of those…curious types, shall I say?"
"Well…I suppose you could say that." Kajimoto shrugged in what he hoped was a casual manner.
"I do not blame him. Whatever he does to me, I deserve." Fuji said gently, as if reprimanding a small child who did not understand the ways of the world, "You do not want to know what I did to deserve." A pause, "Since you don't feel like choosing, I'll take serve, ne?"
-x-
Tezuka kept his expression blank, his tone polite, used when addressing an elder, "Fuji…Yuuta." The name came hesitantly to him. He stood up, "Fuji's not here at the moment, is there something else you need?"
If Yuuta had any common sense, he should have given up right then, but then, this situation had gone out of hand, and 'common sense' would not help. It was all guts and whatever else now, aniki was the one good at this sort of thing. "How come aniki's not here with you, Tezuka-san? Sae-san said he was here."
Tezuka stared thoughtfully at the younger boy before saying, "You look tired, would you like something to drink?"
"I…no, what?" Yuuta blinked in surprise, "I mean, excuse me?"
"Would you like something to drink?" Tezuka repeated calmly.
"I…um," Why the hell was Tezuka-san offering him a drink when he just barged in rudely and demanded the whereabouts of his aniki? If anything, Tezuka-san should have been pissed off. "Sure, I guess."
"Would a cup of coffee be sufficient?"
"Oh…um, anything's fine, really…" Intrigued, Yuuta took off his shoes and followed his brother's former captain/boyfriend into the kitchen. Though something in his subconscious warned him not to ask.
Tezuka poured two mugs of coffee and set one down in front of himself, the other he handed to Yuuta, "Sit." He said simply. "Fuji is not here. It's true that he came here, with the intention of seeing me, but our schedules conflicted." He sipped coffee slowly, "What else?"
He was too calm. Yuuta stirred his cup, deliberately delaying his reply, "Tezuka-san, I…I know it's not my place to say but aniki was really…"
Tezuka then did something unexpected; he interrupted, "…Foolish. Syusuke was foolish, as was I. Is that what you wanted to say?"
His brother's name was suddenly beautiful, spoken in the monotone that was stern and emotionless, except for him, for him,for his brother, "Tezuka-san, may I have some sugar?"
It was one of those sentences spoken solely for the purpose of filling silence. The bespectacled boy slid the blue container over to him. Yuuta dumped two spoonfuls into the brownish liquid and watched as it disappeared.
"If you want to know, I will tell you." Tezuka drained the remainder of his coffee, "But first, one thing you need to know. I do not hate Syusuke. And everything we had together was precious, however painful, however foolish."
"Ne, ne, Yuuta, Kunimitsu said I was precious today…"
That had been such a long time ago. Yuuta did not remember exactly what he had said in return. But that definitely wasn't a phrase you would excitedly tell your little brother. He might have said something like, "Aniki, don't lie, only girls say that kind of stuff."
It wasn't true.
