Disclaimer: I do not own Tennis no Ohjisama.

Notes: Finally finished! YAY! (runs off and laughs like a crazed maniac.) have a good read, and make sure to review! And of course, thanks a bunch to all my reviewers!

-x-

Only running water filled the silence that once again settled itself between the two of them, as Tezuka busied himself at the sink scrubbing his now empty coffee mug. After a decent interval, he ventured, very quietly, "You care for your brother." It was a statement, not a question.

Yuuta's first impulse was to deny it, as he always did, but this was Tezuka-san he was talking to, so exceptions were made. "…I do not like to see him like this, Tezuka-san." Which was the answer closest to the truth that he could give.

"No." The older boy put the cup back into the cabinet and sat back down. "Your brother, he was, and still is, the tensai that everyone loved and admired. I was never that fortunate."

Was it possible that Tezuka, of all people, was jealous of aniki? Yuuta shook his head, no, that was absurd. "Aniki wasn't…like that." He felt compelled to say.

"He wasn't." for a second time, Tezuka agreed, "And no, I was not jealous, if that is what you are thinking. Yuuta-san."

It was the first time that Tezuka actually acknowledged him as something other than 'Fuji-ototou.' Yuuta didn't know whether to be pleased, or otherwise. He took a sip of coffee to keep from answering.

"Syusuke was the kind of person that drew people to him without trying. He could smile and reassure everyone with a sense of warmth that was his alone. The warmth and the reckless courage that drew even me." Tezuka made a sound that could have been a smirk.

"Yet…you broke up." Yuuta supplied. Why? He wanted to ask, Tezuka-san just described a relationship that only appeared in books that Yumiko-neesan read in her spare time, absolute dependence, perfection.

"Yes." Tezuka said shortly, "It was mutual, the last time."

"No, it wasn't." the words came out before the younger Fuji could stop them, "Did you know what the breakup did to him? It killed aniki, it destroyed everything that was him, he wouldn't even touch a tennis racket for months! Mom almost ended up sending him to a mental clinic and he—" then he saw the other's face, and stopped. "…Tezuka-san?"

What little color in Tezuka's complexion drained completely, leaving an ashen pallor that marked the dead. "…It destroyed me too." He managed to choke out after a minute, "Please, don't say any more."

But Yuuta couldn't stop, "Then why? Why did you love aniki so much only to…"

Did you know what the breakup did to me, Kunimitsu? It killed me, it destroyed everything that was me; I couldn't even touch a tennis racket for months! Mom almost ended up sending me into a mental clinic…reflectingthe words hurt, and badly, "What did Syusuke tell you?"

"He told me…he told me that you got in an accident and 'decided not to see each other for a while', his words." Yuuta pushed his coffee cup away, "He lied, didn't he, Tezuka-san?"

"No, what he told you was partial truth." Tezuka sighed heavily, "It was true I got into an accident, and that marked our 'not seeing each other for a while', but it was also partially a lie, on my part." It was a kind of relief to say that out loud, "Syusuke thought I was angry at him because I saw him with Saeki, it was not a misunderstanding, as he had been led to believe."

Yuuta could only gape. He must've looked like an idiot sitting there, "…That's…ridiculous." Though which was more ridiculous he couldn't decide: his brother cheating on Tezuka with Saeki, or Tezuka lying. "So…it was Sae-san's fault?"

"No. I suppose you could say that Saeki was an excuse." Tezuka no longer met his gaze, "According to Syusuke, Saeki was on the verge of suicide, so of course, he wasn't the one to blame. And I'm grateful to him, to Saeki."

That was another unexpected fact. The way Yuuta saw it, Saeki was the outsider in this situation, therefore, it made sense that Tezuka would hate, well, if not hate, at least detest Saeki, but…he was grateful? "Why?" the word seemed to be the key question of the evening.

"…This is something Syusuke told me once." Tezuka answered slowly, "It scared me. He told me that he didn't know how to be 'Syusuke' without me. That if I was not there, he could only be 'Fuji', the tennis player with a warm smile forever pasted on his face, chasing after a shadow, while the insides would remain cold."

"It…scared you?"

"Maybe you won't understand." Tezuka said rather bluntly, "But to be alone, and never truly whole, it 'kills' you, as you so kindly put it earlier." He paused, as if in a trance, "We could never…be free of each other, he was always watching me, as I was always watching him. Being 'Tezuka and Fuji' will destroy us, one day."

"Maybe aniki didn't want to be saved." Yuuta interjected quietly, "…he would have said it was a good destruction."

The other acted if he hadn't heard, "The accident supposedly obliterated my left arm, even until today, the rehab doctors aren't sure how it healed to the current condition. Still, it gave me an excuse to quit tennis, quit Chinese chess, change my major from Biology to Sociology. I cut off everything that Tezuka Kunimitsu once thought worthy.

I became a stranger within myself; that was the price that I had to pay to forget and be truly whole. I took up piano, for my mother's sake, because she always had wanted a son that was as musically talented as she was, as opposed to a son who was a national level athlete. But then, I discovered I couldn't hide from him, he was always there, waiting, watching."

"Why couldn't you?"

His answer did not come immediately, though when the words came, Tezuka knew that they were true now, and he would never deny the genuineness of them again, "I love him."

-x-

"Ne, Kajimoto-san." Fuji slung his racket over his shoulder, "Perhaps we should pause for a break, you look as if you need one." The smile never wavered, "There's a vending machine over there—" he gestured in the general direction of the convenience store next to the park entrance, "I'll get you some water, it's bad if you dehydrate in the middle of the game, I'll be right back."

"…Thanks." While the words were supposedly kind, they stung. Kajimoto could sense the aura of anger so obviously enveloping Fuji, although he couldn't tell if the anger was directed toward himself, or Tezuka, his bet was on the latter.

Fuji propped his racket carefully against the net and started to jog off, then turned, "Ne, Kajimoto-san."

Kajimoto looked up rather wearily, "Yes?"

"…No, never mind. Forget I said anything." Fuji shook his head and went.

Kajimoto watched what would be his destruction go. It was actually no problem to see why Fuji and Tezuka were…that. While he and Tezuka would get nowhere closer than being careful acquaintances.

What was also plain was that Fuji wanted Tezuka back, badly. For reasons he was probably better off not knowing. What he did know was that those two, no matter how far they ran from each other, would forever bounce back, like magnets, or a boomerang. Kajimoto did not know where he came up with this analogy, but it made sense.

He fingered the taped felt of Tezuka's racket, granted, Kajimoto had never had the fortune to see Tezuka play, however if Fuji was this good, (the score was 1-4 at this point, Fuji's favor) Tezuka would certainly be legendary…

"Takahisa."

Kajimoto started at the sound of his name, the one that only a precious few used, even Wakato, whom he had known since forever didn't call him 'Takahisa'. He knew who he would see, "Tezuka, you don't need to pretend anymore."

Tezuka inhaled sharply, "You…knew." He concluded, his voice hoarse, "And you never…asked." 'Asked' wasn't the term he was looking for, though it would do for the present.

Kajimoto gave a somewhat sour smile, "Odds are you probably won't tell me, and besides, it's none of my business, and I have enough issues of my own."

The former captain of Seigaku decided he didn't like Kajimoto's sense of sarcasm, it was too ironic, then again, if he had ever tried to be sarcastic, his effort at sarcasm would also end up to be something to that effect. Tezuka changed the subject, "…Where's Fuji?"

"Getting drinks from the vending machine, your boyfriend is a very caring person, he was afraid I was going to get dehydrated." Kajimoto handed over the racket, "And this is the damn thing that started it all."

Tezuka took it, gingerly, "I haven't seen this in a while."

Kajimoto got to his feet, "I should go now." He smiled, somewhat sad this time. "Tezuka, Fuji-san's a good person, he's good for you."

Tezuka looked at the other, "…I'm sorry."

"Don't be." Kajimoto turned to go, "At least you figured it out now."

"Maybe we should play sometime, tennis." Tezuka suggested quietly, not quite sure if Kajimoto would hear.

"I'd like that."

-x-

Fuji dropped the two bottles of water he was holding, they landed with a crash on the concrete, one burst, the other bruised, but still in tact, "Kunimitsu…?" he was sure his eyes were playing tricks on him, that was supposed to be Kajimoto-san standing there. "What are you…?"

His throat had suddenly swollen up, making both talking and breathing difficult, "I came." Tezuka replied, words failed him, "Syusuke."

Fuji was the graceful type, but now, he was anything but graceful when he practically tripped over the net and bowled Tezuka over, but Tezuka still thought he looked beautiful just the same. The tensai was laughing, "I'm precious, Kunimitsu, I'myour precious again, aren't I, Kunimitsu?"

Tezuka kissed him gently on the mouth and said merely, "Yes."