Disclaimer: None of this is mine, these characters belong to…I don't know who, but it isn't me.
A few blocks away from my house, I saw a dog digging through the dumpster behind the Krazy Taco. I figured that I had a second, so I stopped to pull my backpack off and offer it the half taco that was inside. When the dog bounded over to accept my offer, I realized that it was Zim's dog, Gir. I bought Gir another couple of tacos and fed them to him as we walked over to the skool. Zim, of course, was nowhere to be found. That was ok, that's why I had my backpack containing my GS2 and all of my games with me.
I put in Vampire Piggy Hunter and started to play, occasionally reaching down to scratch behind Gir's ears and talk to him, so he didn't run off and me and Zim wouldn't have to spend all night looking for him again.
By the time I got to level eight, I was starting to get nervous that Zim was standing me up. I checked my watch for the zillionth time. Almost midnight-and-a-half. If Zim didn't show up soon, I would have to go home and leave Gir to fend for himself. I've got skool in the morning, and if I oversleep and come in late again, things would not be pretty.
Suddenly Gir perked his head up and I heard the sound of footsteps. "Zim?" I called into the darkness. My answer was a muttered "oh shit." I knew that voice, and it wasn't Zim's.
"Dib," I hissed. "What the hell are you doing here? Leave before I find where you are and destroy you with my bare hands."
"But I'm here for you. I tried to tell you before you left, I've been spying on Zim's base and he's going to---"
"You WHAT!"
"Gaz, calm down. It's for your own good, and, well, I guess that for that of paranormal science too, but mostly for you. Anyway, Zim's gonna---"
"Shut up Dib, someone's coming!"
I leaned down and started petting Gir again when Zim walked up. Instead of talking to me, the first words out of his mouth were, "Gir, I thought I told you to find Gaz and bring her back to the base."
"Oooh yeah."
Then he turned to me and said, "Gaz, I'm sorry I took so long, but I actually thought this useless thing could obey a simple order. Obviously he can't."
"Whatever. You wanted to talk?"
Dib chose that precise moment to fall out of the tree that I was standing right underneath, and land right on my head.
When I regained consciousness, Zim was standing over me scanning me with some machine. I tried to sit up, but Zim put a restraining hand on my shoulder and said, "I wouldn't try to sit up if I were you, human." At that point I realized that I was strapped to a table of some sort in the lab like the kind I've seen in one of Dib's stupid sci-fi movies. Gir was dancing around, holding a piggy and singing of tacos. "Gir, Shut UP!" yelled Zim.
He turned to Dib locked in a cage and sneered, "Ha, pitiful Dib-monkey. Did you not realize that your sister is the key to ruling this miserable planet? No? Well, I suppose it's understandable, considering the stupidity of humankind, especially you, though I would have expected a larger brain and therefore a higher intelligence of you. Not that I like you, just that it would fit in that BIG HEAD of yours."
Dib went brick red and started beating on the cage bars. "MY HEAD IS NOT THAT BIG! JUST WAIT UNTIL I GET YOU ONTO AN AUTOPSY TABLE, YOU FILTHY ALIEN! SEE, GAZ? I TRIED TO WARN YOU! AND TO THINK, I ACTUALLY SAW YOU AND ZIM---"
"Enough, Dib! You will not win! I have your sister, and now ZIM will rule the world! AHAHAHAHAHA! You did not actually think that ZIM would fall for a human, did you?"
He then turned to Gir, who had removed his disguise, and said, "Gir, I'm going to go and contact the tallest and bring them up to date. Guard-The-Prisoners-And-Do-Not-Let-Them-Escape-And-This-Shall-Be-Your-Finest-Moment-Fail-And-Your-Misery-Shall-Be-Long-And-Painful-Do-You-Understand-Me?"
Gir's eyes lit up red and he stood alert. "Yes SIR!" "Good." And Zim walked out of the room.
"Well Dib, I hope you're happy. This is all your fault, after all."
"MY fault! How is this MY fault?"
"You just HAD to follow me. You could've stayed home, but NO, you HAD to come, HAD to try and be the hero who rescues his sister from the big bad alien."
I started looking around to see if there was a way out. Computers, lab equipment, a small window, and above the computer, a peg with a ring of keys on it. Three of them, to be precise. One for Dib's cage, one for my bindings, and the third for what? No time to think about this any further, Zim was back.
"Zim, you can let me go. I don't know what you need me for, and I don't care. But I won't help you take over this planet. NEVER!" As I said this, I couldn't help but think 'is the human race even worth saving?'
"Gaz," Zim said as though he were speaking to a three year old, "your cooperation isn't required, merely your being here. More precisely, your DNA. You have, within your genetics, the key to ruling this planet. In fact, I almost feel bad about having to kill you. For a human, you're not that bad."
He walked over to his computer and started pushing buttons. "Gir, bring me the keys."
"What are keys, master?"
"The shiny things."
"Oooh, okay!" Gir picked up an aluminum taco wrapper. "Here you go master."
"No Gir, the thing that goes in here," and he pointed at the keyhole. He continued muttering, "Stupid thing acts like a smeet sometimes, but that's why I have to keep the machine locked in the first place, so he can't blow up the base and ruin the mission. Advanced model, my squeedely spooch. If My Tallest weren't so sure…"
"Gir," I called quietly. "Gir, bring me the keys."
"OK Gazzy!"
As he started to bring them to me, Zim saw and yelled, "No Gir. Bring them here. I am your master and you will obey me. Obey me!"
"Please Gir, here."
"Now Gir."
Gir stood in the middle of the room, his robot face showing his intense internal conflict as he squeezed his piggy. "Must obey master, but I love Gazzy. She's so nice, but master commands, but Gazzy has tacos, and I love Gazzy, but master says to, and I must obey master, but I love Gazzy, awww…"
