Yeah yeah yeah, I still don't own anything from Invader Zim.
I feel like I should be saying something else here, but I can't think of what it is…oh yeah. Sorry this chapter took so long, but my parents have been all over my case about my grades, but it's here now so that's all that matters, right? (angry mob surrounds me) gulp I guess not…
"Boy Zim," I said over Gir babbling in the background, "when you make a mistake, you don't kid around."
"The great ZIM does not make mistakes, human."
"Sure you do. For instance, you don't have to kill me to take my DNA."
"Yes I do. To take an invader's DNA, you have to take his pak. Does it not work similarly for humans?"
"No, all you need is a hair or really any cell. So you don't have to kill me."
"Yes I do."
"Why? I thought that you said that you liked me."
"No, I said that for a filthy human you're not that bad. However, I can't leave anything or anyone who knows who I am or that may try to oppose my takeover. Except for him," and he motioned toward Gir, who, despite all of this, was STILL arguing with himself over who to give the keys to.
"If you need the keys so badly, why don't you just go and take them from Gir?"
"If it were that simple, I would. However, now that I have started the sequence, the machine would self-destruct if I were to let go. Enough of this foolishness. Gir, bring me the keys. NOW!"
"No."
"Gir, need I remind you that I am your master and you will obey me? Obey me!"
"Why?"
"Why what, Gir?"
"Why should I obey you? The guy on the TV said-"
"Forget about the TV man stink. You will obey me right n--Gir, what are you doing?"
I felt a surge of hope as Gir ignored Zim and started walking over to me. "Here you go Gazzy!"
"Gir, you worthless piece of junk, what are you doing?"
"Giving Gazzy the shiny things?"
"Why?"
"Ummm, because she's nice, and you're not. You're mean master."
"Give me the keys, Gir."
"But Gazzy asked nicely. Here you go, Gazzy!" and he handed me the keys.
"Thanks Gir," I said as I unlocked myself.
"Awww, I love you too Gazzy!" Gir leaned over and kissed me.
I didn't push him away, mainly because he had just saved my life.
"Gazzy?"
"What Gir?"
"Are you my girlfriend now?"
"Ummm, no." Gir looked up at me, tears forming in his eyes and his antenna drooping. I hurried to add, "but we can go and get tacos, if you get me out of here.
"Can we see a movie too?"
"Just get me out of here."
The robot looked puzzled for a moment, then asked, "Aren't you going to save Dib?"
"Yeah, what about Dib?" my brother called mockingly.
"Fuck Dib, Zim can have him."
"Hey wait, I'm your only brother. You wouldn't abandon me like that. Would you?"
I smiled at him, a frightening thought in itself, and said sweetly, "You got yourself into this mess, you can get yourself out. Nobody made you come with. Come on, Gir."
As we walked out, we could still hear Zim and Dib yelling in the background.
"Gaz, you have to help, you're the only one who knows I'm here."
"Quiet human. Gir, bring her back now, or I'll tell the Almighty Tallest what you're doing."
"Gaz, give me the keys so I can get myself out." …
Gir insisted on holding my hand the entire way to Krazy Taco, as well as paying for my food for me. In between bites of taco, Gir explained why he gave the keys to me and not to Zim. He brought this really cool projector thingy out of his head and showed me repeated video clips of Zim blaming him for the times that Zim screwed up, and for yelling at him for just wanting to eat tacos and watch a movie all day. If it had been anyone else, I would've just laughed, but Gir is so innocent that he doesn't deserve that. Besides, he was being awfully nice to me.
"Gir, that's really horrible."
"Yeah…wanna go see a movie now? The made the Scary Monkey MOVIE."
I wanted to say no and go home and play Gameslave, but the hopeful look on Gir's face wouldn't let me do that.
"(sigh) Sure Gir, we can go see the Scary Monkey Movie."
"YAY!"
Once again, I found myself walking down the street, holding hands with a robot. I wondered briefly if…nah, he couldn't consider this a date. On the other hand, as was pointed out to me by that nasty voice which always seems to tell you precisely what you don't want to hear, Gir had just rescued me from certain death, betrayed his master for me, bought me lunch, and was now taking me to see a movie. Time to stop this before it went too far. But how? Gir took out his rubber piggy, and that gave me an idea.
"Gir, I just remembered that I can't see the movie with you."
"Awww, why not?"
"I have to go home and take care of Pig-U-Lon."
"Pig you what?"
Rather than try and explain that I was ditching him for my Gameslave, I just said, "He's a piggy."
"Oooh, okay. Can I meet him?"
"I'm afraid not, Gir."" I walked away before Gir could give me another Look and make me stay longer.
I sighed with relief as I got back to my room. First order of business was to create a few headaches for Dib, should he ever get back. I snickered. This could be fun. I took his trench coat, his most recent issues of Crop Circle Magazine, and swollen eyeball membership card, put them into three separate waterproof boxes, and buried them discreetly in the backyard. Then I walked back to his room and crashed his computer, wiping out EVERYTHING stored on it, every scrap of data collected on the Irken race.
While scanning his room for anything else I could wreak havoc on, I saw a box half buried under his bed. Intrigued, I walked over and started to dig it out. As I did so, I heard a CREEEAAK from somewhere above me. The attic. Nobody goes up there. Dib did once to search for ghosts, but he didn't find any and nobody's gone up since.
"Gaz," I scolded myself, " you're freaking out about nothing. It's probably the wind or something." I dug some more stuff out of my way. Empty pop cans, a half eaten sandwich that's been here since god knows when, something moldy beyond recognition. I picked up a pair of his boxers before I noticed a suspicious white stain in THAT spot.
"Ewww Dib, gross!" I squealed as I flung them across the room. I braced myself as I leaned over to pick up a t-shirt. Just before my fingers made contact with the material, I heard it again, closer this time. CREEEAAK!
"Hello?" I called to the silent house. Wait, maybe not empty. Dad might be here. He's probably the one creaking, although why he would be out of his lab for any reason is beyond me. It couldn't be anyone else though, so it must be dad.
'Dib seriously needs to learn what a washing machine is and how to use it,' I thought as I moved yet another t-shirt and (horror of all horrors) more boxers. Finally the box came free.
As I coughed violently from all of the dust, I couldn't help but notice the weird symbols that Dib had drawn on the box. Irken writing, perhaps. I was undoing the latch when I was interrupted by someone appearing in the doorway. Someone that wasn't dad.
Ooooh, cliffhanger. Don't tear me apart anyone, because then I can't write more for you people to read…ahahahahaha to you all! More soon, I hope, but with ACTs coming up, I can't be too sure of that. Make sure to review, so I know what you people think.
