Chapter Six

My Mum Eileen was the reason other countries assumed we always drank tea and sang the national anthem, because she did. I loved the fact her name was Eileen, whenever she was running late I could sing 'Come on Eileen,' and I did, often. She wanted the best for me, like most mothers do, and the best did not mean marrying Toby. But she was nice about it, well as nice as she could be while saying 'You've messed up your life'. I could handle her most times, but not when I was suffering from a crippling hangover, which was obviously when she called. My hangovers came in two forms, the one where I can move and the one where I'm dying. This was the latter and listening to the Muppets theme in monophonic wasn't helping.

"'lo."

"Oh thank goodness! Kate I thought you where dead!"

"Don't be dramatic Mum, if I was dead Julian would of told you."

"That's just lovely, you've always put your friends before your family."

"That's not true."

For reasons beyond me, the curtains opened, sunlight hit my face and I screamed like I was a vampire.

"What was that noise?"

"Me Mum."

I looked out from behind the safety of my pillow and saw John standing by the window laughing. I made a mental note to kill him later, or when I was feeling better.

"How is America? Been shot yet?"

"Mum, don't be so stereotypical." I warned.

"Anyway your Aunt Janet wants to talk to you."

Bad bad idea, my Aunt Janet was insane and I have trouble maintaining conversations with her no matter what time of the day or my state of mind. She insisted on calling me Katherine, despite that not being my name, and she couldn't go a sentence without calling me Katherine, or using a term of endearment.

"Darling girl," she started with a heavy sigh. "Darling Katherine, why did you leave Toby? I know some people who shall remain nameless didn't approve, but buttercup, you two where a lovely match. Are you getting a divorce chicken?"

"I don't know. It's just a change."

"Dying your hair is a chance sweetheart, moving to another country is something different altogether. I half expected babies soon dear. Why not Katherine?"

"Aunt Jan, we never talked about that."

"I know baby, but we can only hope. You had been married since you where 17 my little lovely."

"And I'm only 21 now." I reminded her.

"I know Katherine. Oh honey, come home and have babies."

"I have to go to work now Aunt Jan."

I had to crawl to the bathroom and die.

"I'll call you later."

I'd rather have all my teeth pulled.

"Ok kiddie. Bye."

I pulled the covers over my head and shut my eyes. I felt the end of the bed dip as John sat down.

"How you feeling?" he asked.

"I want to die. I really want to die."

He laughed and once again I wanted to kill him. But I didn't have the strength.

"Want something to eat?"

It took everything I had not to throw up there and then. John laughed and left the room, I closed my eyes and promptly fell back asleep.

For the next few days I was alone in the hotel and hoping everyone had forgotten the stupid drunk girl from the week before. Paranoia happens to be one of my strong suits, and I was so convinced everyone was laughing at me that I wore the biggest hat I could find when I had to go to work, along with a jacket that hid my lower face, just for good measure. Of course, if hiding was also one of my strong suits, I would of done it years ago. John pulled my hat off as soon as he saw me.

"What have you been up to all week?" he asked.

"Nothing." I replied, reaching madly for my hat which he held high up above my head. Damn the tall bastard.

"What are you doing tonight?"

"Nothing."

"How about you come out with me?"

"No I can't, I won't have lived down last week I can hear the imitations now."

"They won't be there, it'll be just you and me."

I stopped reaching for my hat, it wasn't important anymore. What had I said last time he asked me out? I know I had said no, but I was sure I'd said something else about it, even if it was only to myself.

"Come on Kate. I'm not going to do anything, I just want to take you out to talk."

"Why? It's not like I'm the best conversationalist. You forget that you're talking to Miss Sarcasm UK."

"That's why I like talking to you. Come on, or you won't get your hat back."

"It's your hat, keep it."

I turned to walked away, expecting it to be one of those scenes where John would look at the hat in a bewildered sort of way while I sashayed off. Of course it wasn't like that, John followed.

"Why don't you want to go out with me?"

"Because....."I began, and finished there. Why didn't I? Oh that's right, I was an embarrassing drunken English bint. John was the opposite in everyway.

"I don't bite."

"Happy to hear it."

"Kate, this is for you. You're stuck alone in a hotel room in a new country for days on end. I don't get anything out of this, besides your razor sharp tongue, and I don't mean that in a dirty way."

Too late, already made it dirty and was laughing to myself. What can I say? My mind had been in the gutter ever since I met Julian. Boys are bad influences.

"Fine. I'll go with you."

He smiled and gave me back the hat.

"Here, you need this to hide your face."

Git.