########## Tis A Watermelon! Chapter Sever---erm, SEVEN! ############
INU YASHA: Hey, look, it's that crazy blond guy!
ME: (only one who understands InuYasha) No, that's not Lucius, it's...
HERMIONE: (gasps) It's...!
HERMIONE AND ME: (in unison) IT'S LEGOLAS!!!!!
LEGOLAS: What foul beast is this? (pokes Spike's hair)
SPIKE: You're gonna see in just a minute...
ME: (shoves Spike into corner) Hi...
HERMIONE: Hello, I'm Hermione Granger! I've read all about you!
LEGOLAS: (stares)
HERMIONE: Might I point out to you the ceiling? It looks like cement, but it isn't really cement, it's just enchanted to look like it. I read about it in---
HARRY AND RON: Hogwarts, a History!
ME: (tackles Hermione and begins to tape her mouth shut)
The fairest of the elves watched in horror as the crazy Queen of the Bandits proceeded to bind and gag the befuddled Hermione.
LEGOLAS: Ai! Ai! A balrog!
ME: What? No, it's just the narrator... he's mad, you see.(continues wrestling Hermione)
I am not!
ME: Are too.
Am not!
ME: Are too, you loon.
I'll quit!
SPIKE: Please do.
LEGOLAS: I do not understand this bleak place, what evil lingers here?
HARRY: Well, that might be the smell Voldemort left behind.
RON: DON'T SAY THE NAAAAAME!!!
HERMIONE: Oh, oo uh-uff, ohn-hohwf.
INUYASHA: I wanna go home...
ME: (gets off Hermione) I'm sorry for all this, Legolas. My companions are a bit... you know... (waves finger in circles next to head)
At that moment, the putrid, disgusting, sick, horrible, EVIL Gannon appeared out of no where and frightened the whole group.
GANNON: I WOULD LIKE TO POINT OUT THAT I AM NOT A WATERMELON, HAVE NEVER BEEN A WATERMELON, AND DON'T INTEND TO EVER BE A WATERMELON!!!!!!
ALL: (stare, blinking occaisionally)
LEGOLAS: By the Circle of Elrond, that is a balrog!
SPIKE: Hey, pretty boy, shutup!
LEGOLAS: I beg your pardon?!
The Author rapidly stepped between the two men--- uh,. males--- and snapped her fingers at Spike.
SPIKE: You know what?! I'm getting the CENSORED out of here! CENSORED you all! Especially you, you friggin' Madonna wanna-be! (points at Legolas)
(Spike walks out through a wall. The rest of the people present stare after him, then look at each other curiously)
HARRY: Um... how did he do that?
INUYASHA: I have to try that! (runs into the wall and knocks himself out)
ME: Ok... uh... Legolas, I apologize again...
LEGOLAS: There is no need for apology, fair lady...
ME: (looks up at narrator) Ya hear that?! He called me fair! Take that you crazy speech perfectionist!
I can't hear you, LalalaLAlalalaALALALAlalala...
LEGOLAS: Come, lady, why do you waste away in a prison like this?
ME: (looks at Harry) I wouldn't call it a prison...
LEGOLAS: Ok, this is getting annoying, can I take the wig off now?
ME: Thanks for killing the script.
LEGOLAS: Your welcome, but pleeeease?
ME: (sighs loudly) Fine. But, Orlando, it was you who ruined it even more! I'll hold you accountable!
ORLANDO: (pulls off wig) Whatever. (walks through wall as Inu Yasha regains consciousness)
INUYASHA: Hey! It worked for him, too!
The group watched as Inu Yasha ran into the solid wall again. He flew to the floor, looking fairly ridiculous---
HARRY: (flourishes wand) RIDIKKULUS!
INUYASHA: (vanishes with a scream)
ME: Hey, what do you know, he was a boggart... I thought InuYasha was really here...
Um, I think the spell might have ill effects on Dog Demons...
ME: Oh... And what might those effects be?
Thus, somewhere in feudal Japan, a watermelon is the only thing left of the Demon that was once Inu Yasha... He will never be forgotten, if only because his damn theme song has a nasty habit of getting stuck in people's heads. Inu Yasha, or rather, his soul, is floating dazedly around somewhere behind a long black curtain... Little does he know he will soon be attacked violently and hung upside-down by two black-haired teenage boys....
