AUTHOR'S NOTE: I realize I haven't updated in like centuries... ALSO WIK: I noticed that FF rules won't allow me to include Lestat and Claudia... I'm most likely breaking a law by writing their names here... ok, I'm sorry, I gotta do it... LESTAT AND CLAUDIA LESTAT AND CLAUDIA LESTAT AND CLAUDIA LESTAT AND CLAUDIA LESTAT AND CLAUDIA LESTAT AND CLAUDIA LESTAT AND CLAUDIA LESTAT AND CLAUDIA !
Ok.
And now, CHAPTEH 888888 (8) !
((drumroll))
cha.
When we last saw our...um... heroes... They were in a random house... ooooo, I have to do this... on a random hill, with the random geese flying overhead in the random sky, with a lot of random little garden gnomes flying around, and...
AHEM!
They're in a house.
ME: That's better.
HARRY: Pickles. SHNOOOOKBLATTT!
RON: What?
HERMIONE: Hey, look, Ron's disorder has been transferred to Harry!
ME: Um... yay?
HERMIONE: Indubiously.
RON: HEY! I can play that game! Antidisestablishmentarianism!
ME: You can't beat me at this one.
Oh really, miss Paraskavedekatriaphobia!
ME: (closes eyes) Supercalifragilisticsexpiallydocious!
HAHAHAHAHA!
HERMIONE: What?
Check this out: Super calif(ornia's) fragili(ty) stic(ks) SEX pi(es) allydocious!
RON: You're sick, mate.
HARRY: (doubled over with laughter)
ALL: (stare at Harry)
HARRY: Shwat?
ME: we need some new characters.
RON: ditto.
HERMIONE: Who the heck says ditto?
No one else thought the sex joke was funny?
ME: NO! NOW GO AWAY!
Fine. (wanders off)
ME: Ok, our next contestant IIIISSSS--- JACK SPARROW, Come on down!
HERMIONE: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA----------------------------------------- (choke)
ME: Narrator, did you just try to strangle Hermione?
Noooo...
RON: Hey, wasn't that Orlando Whatever guy here a second ago?
ME: You... you didn't just...
RON: what?
Enter random fangirls...
RANDOM FANGIRLS: WHAT THE (censored) IS WRONG WITH YOU, YOU SLIMY LITTLE (censored-censored)! WE HOPE YOU (censored) -ING DIE IN A HOLE! YOU ARE NOT (censored-censored-censored) -ING ALLOWED TO FORGET ORLI'S LAST NAME! NOW GO ROT IN (-sigh-... censored-censored-censored-censored-censored) -ING HELL!
The fangirls wander off... holy expletive-ing crap!
ME: (taps ear) I think I'm deaf
RON: The... Therre were like a thousand girls in front of me... and then they went away. (censored)
ME: CAN WE STOP WITH THE FRIKKEN CENSORS ALREADY!
(crickets chirp)
HARRY: (breaks into song) This is your birthday song, it doesn't last so loooong...hoi!
ALL: (stare)
ME: um... um... JACK! (grabs him) would ya like to say something?
JACK: ...
ME: Alllllllllright then!
JACK: You didn't call me captain.
ME: Oops... oh, (censored), PLEASE don't bring out the fangirls!
JACK: Wouldn't want to... they aren't around, are they?
HERMIONE: HI, I'M HERMIONE GRANGER, AND THIS IS-----
ME: (knocks Hermione out with giant mallet)
HARRY: I have sailed the world, beheld it's wonders...
RON: Oh, DO shutup!
Suddenly, a long, dark shadow falls on our heroes...er, protagonists. What could it be? Oh no, not a...
(crickets chirp)
Someone's supposed to scream and yell "a waterlmelon."
(crickets chirp)
HARRY: (screams like a girl) A watermelon!
ALL: O...O
THIS IS YOUR BIRTHDAY SONG, IT DOESN'T LAST SO LOOOOOONG- ---HOI !
THE END
Of Ch8
because otherwise it'd be too short
I think...
The fans would...(strangled)
Please tell me if this CH wasn't as funny as the others...I read over it several times, I don't think it quite measures up... /
Cheerio.
