AUTHOR'S NOTE: I realize I haven't updated in like centuries... ALSO WIK: I noticed that FF rules won't allow me to include Lestat and Claudia... I'm most likely breaking a law by writing their names here... ok, I'm sorry, I gotta do it... LESTAT AND CLAUDIA LESTAT AND CLAUDIA LESTAT AND CLAUDIA LESTAT AND CLAUDIA LESTAT AND CLAUDIA LESTAT AND CLAUDIA LESTAT AND CLAUDIA LESTAT AND CLAUDIA !

Ok.

And now, CHAPTEH 888888 (8) !

((drumroll))

cha.


When we last saw our...um... heroes... They were in a random house... ooooo, I have to do this... on a random hill, with the random geese flying overhead in the random sky, with a lot of random little garden gnomes flying around, and...

AHEM!

They're in a house.

ME: That's better.

HARRY: Pickles. SHNOOOOKBLATTT!

RON: What?

HERMIONE: Hey, look, Ron's disorder has been transferred to Harry!

ME: Um... yay?

HERMIONE: Indubiously.

RON: HEY! I can play that game! Antidisestablishmentarianism!

ME: You can't beat me at this one.

Oh really, miss Paraskavedekatriaphobia!

ME: (closes eyes) Supercalifragilisticsexpiallydocious!

HAHAHAHAHA!

HERMIONE: What?

Check this out: Super calif(ornia's) fragili(ty) stic(ks) SEX pi(es) allydocious!

RON: You're sick, mate.

HARRY: (doubled over with laughter)

ALL: (stare at Harry)

HARRY: Shwat?

ME: we need some new characters.

RON: ditto.

HERMIONE: Who the heck says ditto?

No one else thought the sex joke was funny?

ME: NO! NOW GO AWAY!

Fine. (wanders off)

ME: Ok, our next contestant IIIISSSS--- JACK SPARROW, Come on down!

HERMIONE: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA----------------------------------------- (choke)

ME: Narrator, did you just try to strangle Hermione?

Noooo...

RON: Hey, wasn't that Orlando Whatever guy here a second ago?

ME: You... you didn't just...

RON: what?

Enter random fangirls...

RANDOM FANGIRLS: WHAT THE (censored) IS WRONG WITH YOU, YOU SLIMY LITTLE (censored-censored)! WE HOPE YOU (censored) -ING DIE IN A HOLE! YOU ARE NOT (censored-censored-censored) -ING ALLOWED TO FORGET ORLI'S LAST NAME! NOW GO ROT IN (-sigh-... censored-censored-censored-censored-censored) -ING HELL!

The fangirls wander off... holy expletive-ing crap!

ME: (taps ear) I think I'm deaf

RON: The... Therre were like a thousand girls in front of me... and then they went away. (censored)

ME: CAN WE STOP WITH THE FRIKKEN CENSORS ALREADY!

(crickets chirp)

HARRY: (breaks into song) This is your birthday song, it doesn't last so loooong...hoi!

ALL: (stare)

ME: um... um... JACK! (grabs him) would ya like to say something?

JACK: ...

ME: Alllllllllright then!

JACK: You didn't call me captain.

ME: Oops... oh, (censored), PLEASE don't bring out the fangirls!

JACK: Wouldn't want to... they aren't around, are they?

HERMIONE: HI, I'M HERMIONE GRANGER, AND THIS IS-----

ME: (knocks Hermione out with giant mallet)

HARRY: I have sailed the world, beheld it's wonders...

RON: Oh, DO shutup!

Suddenly, a long, dark shadow falls on our heroes...er, protagonists. What could it be? Oh no, not a...

(crickets chirp)

Someone's supposed to scream and yell "a waterlmelon."

(crickets chirp)

HARRY: (screams like a girl) A watermelon!

ALL: O...O

THIS IS YOUR BIRTHDAY SONG, IT DOESN'T LAST SO LOOOOOONG- ---HOI !

THE END

Of Ch8

because otherwise it'd be too short

I think...

The fans would...(strangled)


Please tell me if this CH wasn't as funny as the others...I read over it several times, I don't think it quite measures up... /

Cheerio.