Chapter 8

Jack took the red-eye late Sunday night from LA and arrived in Washington just in time to go to work Monday morning. He should have been exhausted from the whirlwind trip and he knew that at some point the jet lag would catch up with him, but at the moment an adrenaline rush was keeping him going. He had enjoyed every moment that he spent with his new grandson and, of course, Angela was always a joy. On top of it all, he had the chance to spend some time with Michelle. She even offered to take him back to the airport on Sunday night. He had protested. Chase was planning to take him to the airport, he told her. But Michelle wouldn't take 'no' for an answer. Chase and Kim need to get some rest, she told Jack. She had no plans and plenty of time to take him to the airport. It was finally settled. Michelle picked him up at 9 o'clock and drove him to the airport.

Jack practically bounced into the office giving everyone a cheery 'hello.' He was always friendly but generally he was more reserved. He made his way into his own office and promptly unpacked three new pictures for his desk. The only picture he had ever kept on his desk was a small one of himself with Teri and Kim. To that he now added a picture of himself holding Angela and Jacob, a picture of Kim and Chase and the two children and the picture of Kim and Michelle with Jacob that Chase had taken at the hospital. He stepped back to admire the pictures when Secretary Heller walked in.

"Ah, the new grandfather comes armed with pictures," he said jovially. Heller put on his reading glasses to take a closer look. "Good looking family, Jack. I can see why you're so proud." Jack beamed and before he knew it, his office was full of coworkers looking at the pictures.

Once out of earshot, Jack's office assistant commented, "That new grandson sure has changed his disposition."

"I noticed," said another. "I wish the kid had been born a long time ago. Maybe Jack would have been easier to work with."

Audrey heard the exchange and said nothing. She wasn't so sure that becoming a grandfather had nearly as much to do with Jack's sunny disposition as everyone else did. When she looked at the pictures, she took quick notice of the picture of Michelle. It reaffirmed to her that Michelle had a more prominent place in Jack's life than he was willing to admit.

Jack had no reason to travel to the west coast in the next few weeks, but he and Michelle stayed in close contact. Emails were exchanged daily and each found themselves looking for excuses to call the other. Neither could quite explain their relationship. They knew they were more than friends, or maybe, just friends in a different sense. They understood each other like no one else that either of them knew.

Even Jack, who had been widowed for over seven years, now felt for the first time as if he had someone who really understood him. Neither Kate nor Audrey ever really did. When Jack was sad on Teri's birthday each year, they couldn't understand why. They were both more concerned that he still had feelings for Teri and wondered how they could make him "get over it" rather than understanding that Jack was as "over it" as he ever would be. Teri's birthday would always be sad for him. He shouldn't be expected to stop loving Teri, but that love was different than the love he had for them. He had tried to explain it, but it was useless. Instead, he tried just to stay silent on the subject or keep to himself on days that had particularly sad memories attached to them.

It was late evening about three months after Jacob was born. Jack stood in his kitchen in front of the open refrigerator door as if expecting something fully cooked and ready to be eaten to jump out into his hands. Since nothing did, he pulled out some deli ham and sliced cheese and a sub roll that was starting to feel a little stale. Once he added pickles and onions and hot mustard and maybe some roasted peppers it would be an okay sandwich, he told himself hopefully. It would also be messy, so he decided to eat it over the kitchen sink. That also meant that he had one less plate to wash. He hunched over the sink to take the first bite when the phone rang.

"Son of a bitch!" he exclaimed. He looked at the caller ID before answering and his mood changed immediately when he saw that the call was from Michelle's phone at CTU. "Hi," he said in a warm tone. "Isn't it time for you to go home?"

"In a few minutes," she told him. "I just got off the phone with Brad Hammond and I wanted to call you."

"Why? Did he finally resign?" Jack asked sarcastically.

"No, but he's sending me to Langley for a conference in a couple of weeks."

Jack could feel himself smile. "You'll be in Virginia? That's great. How long will you be here?"

"I'll get in Wednesday evening. The conference is Thursday and Friday. I was thinking about taking the day off on Monday. That way I could do some sight seeing in D.C. over the weekend and not have to come back until Monday."

"That sounds like fun. I'd be happy to be your tour guide, if…ah…if that's okay with you," Jack suggested tentatively.

"It would be more than okay. I would love it." Jack knew she was smiling; he could hear it in her voice.

They both counted the days until they would see each other but at the same time, tried to deny that they were excited about the prospect of spending time together. Michelle arrived Wednesday as planned. Unfortunately, Jack had a dinner meeting with Secretary Heller and the head of Homeland Security which prevented him from picking Michelle up at the airport.

She took a cab from the airport to her hotel and was surprised to find a vase of cut flowers waiting in her room for her. The card read: Sorry I couldn't pick you up at the airport. Looking forward to seeing you, Jack. Michelle held her face close to the bouquet and inhaled deeply. She couldn't help but smile.

Michelle went from meeting to meeting on Thursday. It was lunchtime before she got a chance to check her voicemail. There were two messages from Chloe and one from Jack. She tried to return Jack's call, but his secretary said that he would be in a meeting for much of the afternoon. She would tell him that Michelle called.

Michelle was back in meetings until late afternoon when they had an hour break before they met again for a working dinner. Once again Jack had left a message for her. This time when she called him back, he was sitting at his desk waiting for her call. He was disappointed that she would be working through dinner.

"How about if I come over around 8 o'clock and we can go out and get a drink," he suggested.

"I wish I could," Michelle told him. "I'm sitting down this evening with the CTU directors from New York and Chicago to try and work out a joint implementation of some of the Homeland Security initiatives."

Jack tried to hide the disappointment in his voice. "Of course," he said. "This is a good chance for the three of you to get together. What does your schedule look like for tomorrow?"

"Same as today. We have meetings all morning and afternoon and we're working through both lunch and dinner. The meetings don't officially end until 7:30 tomorrow night." She anticipated that he was going to suggest they have drinks tomorrow evening. "I'd love to see you tomorrow evening, but with the time change, I'm really tired. Maybe it would be best if I just made an early night of it tomorrow and we could get an early start on Saturday."

"Yeah…uh…yeah, I…uh, guess that would work best," Jack tried to sound like he agreed.

"Jack, I'm sorry," Michelle said sincerely. "I'm not trying to blow you off or anything. I'm just tired. You're used to traveling, I'm not. I hope I didn't hurt your feelings? How about if I call you when I get back to the hotel tomorrow night and we can decide what we're doing Saturday?"

They agreed to talk Friday evening and make plans for Saturday. Jack hung up with the feeling that he had acted like a petulant child. He knew Michelle wasn't trying to hurt him. He just wanted to see her so much. He went to bed that night and slept poorly. He wasn't sure why Michelle had become so important to him, but he found himself hoping that she felt the same way.

Although neither of them thought it would, Saturday finally arrived. Jack picked Michelle up at her hotel at 9:30. They spent the day like average tourists, walking miles from monument to monument. They got lunch from a hot dog vendor on the Mall and ate sitting in the grass under a tree. Then it was back to sightseeing: the First Ladies' gowns at the National History Museum, the Lunar Rover at the Air and Space Museum, the precious gems exhibit at the Museum of Natural History. By the time Jack dropped Michelle back at her hotel almost 12 hours later, they were both exhausted. They sat in the hotel lounge and had a drink before saying goodnight.

Once back in her room, Michelle undressed and stepped into the shower, feeling as if she had month's worth of road grime to strip off. The day had been typical Washington D.C. summer: hazy, hot and humid. You really can't understand what humidity is until you've been in D.C. on a July day, Michelle thought. It felt so good to be clean that after she dried off, she didn't bother to dress before collapsing into bed.

She lay between the sheets enjoying their coolness. She realized that it was the first time since Tony died that she slept naked. Today was also the first time since Tony died that she had really been happy, that she had smiled and really meant it. In fact, she had smiled all day. No, correction, she and Jack had smiled all day. And they had laughed. She had never heard Jack laugh so hard. It was a fun day and she knew that she should be tired, but she wasn't. Her brain was going a mile a minute and she kept replaying the day in her mind.

Jack picked her up again the next morning for breakfast. They decided that neither was ready for another hot day in the city, so they got in the car and headed for Annapolis, Maryland. They arrived an hour later in the quaint, waterfront town. Jack found parking on a side street and they got out of the car. Although it was every bit as hot as it had been the day before, the breeze off the Chesapeake Bay made it feel cooler and less humid. They walked along stopping at the dozens of historic sites that peppered the streets of Maryland's capital.

It was mid afternoon when they saw an ice cream parlor and decided to stop. The tables outside of the storefront were all full, so they strolled a couple of blocks looking for someplace to sit down.

"Over there, Jack," Michelle said as she pointed with her free hand. "We can sit on that stone wall over there."

Jack shrugged. "That'll work," he agreed.

Jack checked the traffic and, finding it momentarily clear, he took Michelle's hand and the two hurriedly crossed the street. They reached the wall moments later. Jack took Michelle's ice cream cone so that she could climb into the wall. Once she was situated, he handed it back and climbed up beside her. They sat for a while eating ice cream and enjoying the sunshine and talking about what sites they still wanted to see and where they might end up eating dinner.

Jack hopped down first, and then reached out to help Michelle. He put his hands on her waist as she leaned forward and put her hands on his shoulders. Their eyes locked as he eased her down and set her on the ground a foot or so below. They both stood still for a few moments; Jack's hands still resting on Michelle's waist, her hands still resting on his shoulders. Neither of them seemed to be breathing or blinking.

"So, ah…you…ah wanted to see the…ah…the pottery shop a couple of streets over, right?" Jack stammered as he took a small step away and let his hands fall away from Michelle's waist.

"Yeah, ah…I did. If…if that's okay with you," Michelle said tentatively as her hands fell to her sides as well.

"That's fine," Jack answered quickly. "It…it looked like a nice shop."

They walked away in an awkward silence. They had talked and laughed all day just like yesterday, up until now, that is. Now they were both silent; neither knowing what to make of what had just happened. The silence lasted for ten or fifteen minutes then the conversation finally returned to normal, or to near normal. Michelle still felt as if they were both more reserved than they had been earlier in the day. Wine with dinner loosened both of them up again.

They left the restaurant as the western sky was becoming red with the setting sun. Jack held the door for Michelle as they stepped into the waning light. Their hands brushed and wordlessly they allowed their fingers to entwine. Neither dared look at the other. They walked silently to the car, both very aware of the feel of their hands together and the closeness of their bodies.

Jack parked the car in front of Michelle's hotel. They passed the lounge as they entered and Jack suggested a drink, but Michelle graciously declined. So they took the elevator to the seventh floor. Michelle opened the door to her room and they both entered.

"Your flight leaves at 9:30 tomorrow morning, right?" Jack asked her

"That's right," she agreed.

"So, I'll pick you up about 7:30. That gives us enough time to get some breakfast and you'll still be on time for you flight."

"Jack, you don't have to take me to the airport. I can get a cab."

"I want to take you to the airport, Michelle. I don't get to see you that often."

"You're so sweet," she smiled. "I had a wonderful time this weekend, Jack. You can be my tour guide any time."

She stepped forward to hug him. Jack reached for her and pulled her into his arms. It wasn't their usual hug and Michelle knew it immediately. She could feel Jack's hands sliding slowly up and down her back. She responded by putting one of her hands on the back of his neck and pulling his head down toward her face. Their lips touched, softly at first and then a little more intensely. Jack pulled away and stepped back.

"I…I, ah, guess I'll see you…ah…in the morning," Jack stammered.

"Yeah," Michelle answered looking at the floor.

Jack looked at her for a moment and gently ran the back of his forefinger along her cheek. He swallowed hard as he left the room and walked toward the elevator. Michelle watched him push the elevator button, wait a few seconds and then disappear into the elevator. She squeezed her eyes shut for a second and then moved back into her room. She leaned heavily on the door as she closed it. Her heart was pounding in her throat. She felt the same way earlier today when Jack helped her down from the wall and again when they held hands as they walked to the car. Michelle grabbed her purse from the table where she had dropped it. She rummaged through it to find her cell phone. She retrieved the phone from the bottom of the bag, flipped it open and dialed Jack's number.

Jack had just reached his car when his phone rang. He pulled it from his belt and answered without looking at the caller ID.

"Yes," he said absently.

"Jack," Michelle said.

Her voice brought him back to reality. "I'm here," he said.

"Where are you?"

"I just got to the car. Why?"

"Jack, I think we need to talk. I'm not sure what's happening between us, Jack, but I think we should talk about it," her voice was quivering as if she was about to cry.

"I think you're right," he said softly in return. "Would you like me to come back upstairs?"

"I wish you would," she answered.

With that Jack turned around and went back into the hotel. He crossed the lobby in four long strides and stepped into the first available elevator. Once on the seventh floor he nearly ran to Michelle's room. She was standing in the doorway waiting for him. She backed into the room. Jack followed her and closed the door behind him. As he did, he reached out for her.

"Oh, Jack," she whispered in a soft, sexy voice.

He again pulled her into his arms, but this time more urgently than the first. Her face was immediately turned up to his. He noticed that her lips were parted. He pressed his mouth to hers and eagerly pushed his tongue into her mouth. Without hesitation, she opened her mouth a little wider to let his tongue explore.

Their kisses became more and more passionate; each of them letting out occasional quiet moans. Jack carefully backed Michelle over to a love seat. He turned them around and sat down, pulling Michelle onto his lap.

"I've wanted to kiss you for so long," Jack whispered.

"I know. I've wanted it, too," Michelle answered between kisses.

They continued to kiss. Jack slowly moved from Michelle's mouth down her neck to the base of her throat. She groaned softly and he could feel her pulling away. She slipped off of his lap and onto the seat next to him.

"What's wrong?" he asked breathlessly.

"Jack, I'm so scared," she answered her arms still loosely draped around his neck.

"Scared of what, Baby?" he asked as he kissed her forehead.

"Scared of losing you."

"You're not going to lose me, Michelle. I'm not going anywhere."

"Jack, you're my best friend. If this relationship doesn't work, I'll lose you."

"I know that, but if we don't try, Michelle, we'll never know if the relationship has a chance. I think we owe it to ourselves to try. I've spent months trying to tell myself that we were just friends and that was enough. But I've been lying to myself. I'm falling in love with you, Michelle and I'm powerless to stop myself."

"We live 3000 miles apart. How can we possibly make this work?"

"I don't know, Michelle. You're right, practically speaking, this doesn't make any sense. But it makes sense in my heart and apparently, in your heart, too or you wouldn't have called me back here tonight. Let's give it a chance, Sweetheart. If it works then one of us has to move. I wouldn't object to moving back to LA if that's what makes us both happy. Until then, we would see each other as often as possible. Let's see what happens."

Michelle smiled and leaned back into him eager for more kisses. Jack was happy to oblige as he allowed his mouth to travel over her face and neck. They kissed for a long time taking occasional breaks to catch their breath. Jack was tenderly stroking Michelle's face when he noticed tears in her eyes.

"Come here," he whispered as he drew her into his arms.

Michelle pulled away and stood up. The tears now streaked her face and she walked away from Jack to try and regain control.

"When Tony died," she started, her voice quivering, "I never thought I'd ever love anyone again. I never thought that I'd ever let another man hold me or kiss me or make love to me. Now here we are and I'm so confused. It feels so good but I'm so scared."

Jack stood behind her with his hands on her shoulders. "I know, Sweetheart. I felt the same way when Teri died. It's natural for you to feel that way. But remember, Michelle, you're still alive. You didn't die when Tony did. You're a healthy, vibrant woman and it's normal for you to want to be loved. We're going to take this slowly. I want to know that you're comfortable with whatever direction the relationship is taking." He turned her around and looked deeply into her eyes. "We don't need to move forward until you are absolutely sure that you're ready."

"Jack, I don't know when I'm going to be ready to make love."

"I'm willing to wait, Honey. When the time is right, you'll know," he said softly. He kissed her for emphasis. "I don't want to rush it. I want to know that, if and when we take that step, you're ready."

"Thank you," Michelle said as she put her arms around Jack's neck. He pressed a gentle kiss into her hair.

"It's getting late," Jack said. "I'm going to go home so both of us can get a little sleep. It's going to be morning before we know it. I'll be back to pick you up at 7:30"

Michelle looked at her watch. "It's almost 2 o'clock, Jack. You're only going to get a couple of hours of sleep before you have to come and pick me up. That's silly. Why don't I just call a cab? That way you can sleep in a little before you go to work."

"Are you kidding? I don't know when I'll get to see you again. I don't care if I stay up all night; I'm taking you to the airport."

Michelle looked shyly at the floor. "There are two beds in the room, Jack. You can stay here if you like."

Jack shook his head. "If I stay here, we both know what will happen. We're not ready for that, Honey." He kissed her softly. "I'm going home. I'll see you in the morning."

They held each other close and kissed goodnight before Jack left the hotel for the second time that night. Michelle watched from her window as Jack went to his car. He looked up toward her room and blew her a kiss. This relationship felt different from the others he had been in since Teri died. He had cared deeply for both Audrey and Kate and, at the height of each of those relationships, considered the possibility of spending the rest of his life with them. But even before he kissed her, Jack knew that his relationship with Michelle was different. He felt closer to her than he had to either Kate or Audrey. He recognized a bond that didn't exist with either of them. He wanted this relationship to work far more than he had any in the past.

Michelle stood at the window until long after Jack had gone. She finally stepped away and allowed the curtains to fall back into place. She again smelled the flowers that Jack had sent her and smiled. Her emotions flipped randomly from excitement to fear to confusion to happiness. She got ready for bed and curled up under the soft covers and found herself wide awake and staring into the dark room.

"Tony," she whispered out loud to the darkness, "I hope you're listening. I need your help. I don't know what to do. You told me to follow my heart and that's what I'm trying to do. The problem is that it's leading me somewhere I never thought it would take me. I'm falling in love with Jack. I've always liked Jack and I've always cared for him but I never imagined that I could love him. Now I find that I'm not happy unless I'm with him. It's the same way I felt when you and I started dating. I was scared then, too, but not as scared as I am now. I wish there was a way to know that I'm doing the right thing. I wish there was a way for me to know that you approve. In a way, I feel like I'm cheating on you with your best friend."

Michelle eventually fell into a fitful sleep. Vivid dreams swirled wildly through her brain. In one she was kissing Tony in a bombed out hallway at CTU. Tony was suddenly replaced by Jack and they were standing in the hotel room. In another, she and Jack were standing in Annapolis staring into each other's eyes and again, the scene changed. Now she was gazing into Tony's eyes in the middle of their wedding. Image after image flashed like a disconnected movie and Michelle woke repeatedly. She kept checking the clock wishing that morning would come.

It was still dark outside and she had barely gotten any sleep but she couldn't stand the dreams any more. She switched on the light and got up to get the book she was reading from her suitcase. As she reached into her bag, her fingertips brushed a piece of paper that she had packed between layers of clothing. She had almost forgotten that it was there. She closed her eyes and pulled out the paper. She knew every word on it having read it at least a thousand times. It was the letter Tony had written to her. Her eyes scanned the page stopping on the fourth paragraph:

Follow your heart, Michelle. It led you to me and it will lead you to a new love. He may be someone you haven't met yet or he could be someone you've known for years. It doesn't matter as long as you find each other and make a new life together.

Someone you've known for years…

Then she remembered Tony talking to Jack shortly before he died. His voice was barely audible at the time and he stopped repeatedly to breath, but right now she could hear him clear as a bell. "Promise me you'll take care of Michelle for me."

Tears filled her eyes. Tony knew all along. He knew that she and Jack belonged together. The tears spilled over onto her cheeks and she was filled with a sense of calm and relief.

"Thank you," she whispered into the air. "Thank you, Tony."

She turned out the light and went back to bed. She fell asleep almost instantly and slept peacefully for the hour and a half until her alarm went off signaling the start of a new day and maybe, she thought, maybe a new life.