Disclaimer: I do not own the RK gang. Hell if I did, do you think I would be up all night?


Umi walked out onto the stage and looked out at the crowd. Wincing, she painstakingly looked at everyone, looking for the anynamous, who said that her fanfics sucked without even most probably reading them. Whether they were there or not, she shouted out into the night/day/whenever you're reading this, "HA! YOU SEE THAT! I REVIVED IT! AND AS A STORY!" and with that... she started dancing.

Kenshin walked out and sweatdropped at Umi's odd dancing. "Miss Umi," he started, but he never got to finish as Sano walked out onto the stage right as Umi stopped dancing. He hid behind Kenshin and Umi looked at him.

"Yes, Sano, I hate cameras too. Now, get out here." Umi said as Sano gloomily stepped out from behind Kenshin. Kaoru stepped out onto the stage, waving, followed by Tomoe, who just walked out onto the stage quietly.

Megumi, Aioshi, Yahiko, and Shishio just plain walked out. But oh, no. Saitou couldn't just be that simple. He had to come out SMOKING.

As for Misao, she just walked out, waving and greeted them. "Hi, everyone!" she shouted gleefully.

Umi waved. "Okay! If there is ANYONE I am missing, just tell me. I'll put them in in the next chapter! nn Welp, now that you've met everyone, let's start the show!" Kenshin blinked. "show?"

Umi shook her head. "No, start the fanfic. I control the keyboard. Thus, I control you." she said as an insane glint started in her eyes, matching her maniacal laughter. Kenshin and Sano slowly stepped away as Umi typed something.

))))))BAM! Welcome to the future!((((((

Umi sat at her computer desk, looking at some fanart. However, we can't see WHAT fanart she's looking at, so you'll just have to use that thing you all call "imagination".

Well, it just so happens that Yahiko comes in and looks at the fanart from behind the computer. There was a long pause before Yahiko finally commented on it. "It looks a lot like you."

Umi stood up and hit Yahiko on the head with a lead pipe. "...ow." was all Yahiko had to say after that. Kaoru then walked in, and somehow misses Umi beating the crap out of Yahiko to look at the fanart. "Hey, Umi," she said, "this looks so much like you... If you were a drunken neko, anyways..."

Kaoru trailed off as she saw the deathglare Umi was giving her and Yahiko. She sweatdropped. "I think I'll just be going now."

Umi hit Kaoru on the head with the lead pipe and dropped Yahiko. Yahiko quickly left the room before Umi could hit him again, thus revealing the fanart. It was a picture of a drunken neko Sanosuke holding a bottle of sake.

A little while later, outside the room, Umi was rambling and complaining as she ate her rice. "What the hell were you two thinking! There's no way in hell I'd look like that!"

Just then, a hyper looking Umi, which oddly resembled that of a cat came out, holding a bottle of sake happily and drunk. "Ko - hic - nnichi - hic - wa!" and smiled this goofy lookin' grin.

Umi saw Umi-chan, the neko Umi, and glared at Yahiko and Kaoru dangerously, as if DARING someone to make a comment.

Kaoru was that idiot. "... See"
"THAT'S IT! DIE, BITCH!" Umi shouted as she ran after Kaoru with a katana, laughing maniacally. Yahiko just sweatdropped.

A dark-looking Umi, Umi-san, suddenly seemed to appear out of nowhere behind Yahiko. "This story has no plot whatsoever."

Yahiko, ignoring what would be a normal impulse and screaming, with their hearts leaping out of their hearts and the whole nine yards, just said, "Meh, give it time. I'm sure that idiot will get things straightened out... Why is she so insane?"

Umi-san appeared quiet for a few moments. "I believe that may be due to the fact that she had ice cream, chocolate, and caffinne just a few moments ago. And not only that, but it has been 27 hours since she last slept."

Umi-chan came running back. "Let's go drink sake and eat riceballs!" Yahiko looked at her with a raised eyebrow and sweatdropped. Umi-san, without looking at her, simply said, "I will kill you."

Umi-chan simply shrugged and went to drink sake and eat riceballs.

Umi-sama walked out of the kitchen, where Umi-chan was headed. "What's up," she said, walking out towards Umi-san and Yahiko. Umi-san pointed to Umi and Kaoru in the background.

"ooooh, Karou! I'm not going to hurt you! I'm only going to KILL YOU! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Kaoru just screamed and ran faster.

Yahiko stared. "Holy hell, who let her out on a day pass?" Umi-san gave him this creepy look. "What do you mean 'let out'?" she asked. Yahiko stared with an open mouth.

Umi-sama, who wasn't listening to Umi-san and Kaoru, watched them. "I see... So, in other words, we're watching Umi kill Kaoru?"

Saitou shrugged as he lit up a cigarette. "Looks that way." Umi-sama fell down. "WHERE THE HELL'D YOU COME FROM?"

Saitou blinked. "The door was open." And with that, puffed out a.. well.. puff of smoke. Yahiko blinked and coughed, waving away the smoke Saitou puffed out. "That explains a lot."

Umi-chan ran out of the kitchen, chased by Sanosuke. She apparently took his sake bottle and was now laughing maniacally. "MY SAKE!" Saitou watched Sanosuke chase Umi-chan, and then turned his attention to Umi chasing Kaoru before finally commenting. "They're mental."

Yahiko looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "Geez, you're just now figuring that out?" Meanwhile, Tomoe walked in and quickly sidestepped out of Umi-chan and Sanosuke's way. Kenshin, who was following Tomoe, was unfortunate enough not to notice umi-chan and sanosuke. "OROOOOO!"

Umi-chan jumped in the rafters and stuck her tounge out at sano. "Nyaaa!" Sanosuke just sat under the rafters with his arms crossed. "You'll have to come down sometime, missie."

Now, to Umi and Kaoru

Umi had finally caught up to Kaoru and is currently beating Kaoru to a bloody death. Umi-san revived Kaoru and then tied Umi up. "You realize, of course, you can't just go around killing RK charachaters?" she said.

Umi, who was still tied up, suddenly got an evil glint in her eye. "Oooooooh, Momiiiijiiii..." Umi-san tied the rope tighter. "Or any other characters."

"damn."

Kaoru hugged Umi-san. "YOU SAVED MY LIFE!" Umi-san glared at Kaoru. "I saved your life, but I still hate you. Get off me." Kaoru backed off, whimpering.

everyone just... stared. Until Misao entered the quiet room. "Hi, guys! Did I miss anything?" Everyone looked at Misao, who now sees Umi tied up, Karou whimpering, Sano sitting under the rafters, Neko Umi and Kenshin in the rafters with Sano's sake bottle, Saitou, shadowy umi who apparently tied Umi up, and everyone else. "...oh."

Evil laughter is heard outside and everyone walks outside to see Shishio being dunked in one of those pools you couldn't drown in if you tried to by Aioshi, who was laughing maniacally. "MUHAHAHAHAHA"
"AAAAAHHH! THE WATER! IT BURNS MY ALREADY BURNT FLESH!"

Umi-chan suddenly bursts out the doors and jumps on Aioshi, still being purused by Sano... still. Who was shouting, "GIVE MY SAKE BACK, DAMNIT!"

Umi-chan jumped off Aioshi and continued running. "MY SAKE!" Sano ran after her, knocking Aioshi over. "GET BACK HERE!"

Yahiko blinked. "... That was something you don't see every day." Megumi, from behind him responded with "no it isn't."

Kaoru muttered under her breath "stupid fox..." Megumi suddenly turned to her. "What was that, racoon-girl?" And Kaoru attacked Megumi.

forever and three hours later/
Kaoru was quickly gaining on Megumi, who was running out of breath. Umi sighed. "I suppouse I have to stop them now?"

Everyone else looked at her like she was insane, and then all answered in unison, "YES"

"You all suck." Umi said as she took some shinobi (ninja stars) from Misao and threw them at Kaoru's hands when she is about to strangle Megumi. Kaoru withdrew.

Misao looked out where her shinobi landed. "Hey!" Umi was previously stabbed in the back and you know, people bleed. Even authors. So, since no one noticed, she faints from the blood loss.


Umi: I already know what I'm going to do next time! It has to do with Kenshin!
Kenshin: ...oro.
Yahiko: Hey! Wait! What about the loss of blood stuff? Who the hell stabbed you?
Umi: such colorful language for such a young kid.
Sano: Yeah, we would like to know.
Umi: fine, fine. be spoilsports. I'll do that... Then what I had in mind with Kenshin!
Sano: -looks ahead using some kind of... odd... plot device thing. Although I have no idea how that would work, seeing as there is no plot.- Oh, no. UMI! You will not, and I repeat NOT sorry, we can't show you this b/c it would ruin the anticipation or whatever KENSHIN! I AM YOUR OLDER BROTHER, AND I SAY YOU WILL NOT DO IT!
Umi: -laugh- Too late. I already wrote the chapter!
Sano: THEN RE-WRITE IT!
Umi: nope. GAH!
Sano: -starts chasing Umi-
Umi: -runs away-
Umi-chan: -makes sure no one else is taking the spotlight or whatever. You still see Umi being chased by Sano in the background and hear them yelling.- Please read and review! We really hope you review, though!
Yahiko: we?
Umi-chan: All the Umi's! There are a whole lot more of them!
Yahiko: Dear God... What kind of a world is this.
Umi: -pauses for breath- my -pant- world! -runs away again, being pursued by Sano... again-
Umi-chan: -watches them run off- ...Like I said, please read and review!

random dude: and remember kids, the moral of this chapter is not to stay up ALL night whilst drinking caffinne and eating sugar. -bows out-

Umi: -points- STALKER! -and then runs off again- R -pant- and -pant- R, please!