Beneath a starlit sky, Inu Yasha stood gripping the wall of the Bone Eater's well. His frame was still as death and he had not so much as uttered a word. His grip tightened and a piece of the rocky exterior of Bone Eater's well crumbled. His clawed hands began to bleed as bits of shattered stone pierced his flesh. Still, he stood silent his amber eyes focused on the inky blackness of the well's exterior. With each passing moment, his breathing grew harsher and harsher.
"It is done…" Inu Yasha's voice, harsh and raw, cut through the silent night. It's over…
Tears clouded his amber eyes but in his stubbornness, he would not allow them to fall.
"Why am I upset? I should be happy… I should be jubilant… Damn it… She was just a bother anyway, always in trouble, always yelling. Besides, she is where she belongs…" the hanyou pounded his bloody fist on the much abused well. "Damn it… I had to break up with Kagome… I had to… I had to…" Lifting his head he yelled at the star filled sky above him, "I had to do it…" In his mind a vision of Kagome's broken expression, an expression caused by his hateful words, held fast. The tears… the pain… the disbelief… All those emotions clearly visible on her face remained burned into his memory. He folded in on himself, collapsing onto his knees before Bone Eater's well. It's too late to wonder if I did the right thing… It's already done… Inu Yasha closed his eyes tightly as tears slipped down his cheeks. He didn't even bother to wipe them away in his grief.
I was so harsh… The anger, the bitterness, the hate… All those emotions that I feel for myself, I turned on Kagome. I lied to her… I intentionally hurt her and now I have lost her… She probably hates me now. I feel guilty… I know I shouldn't because my intentions were good. However, I know Kagome didn't deserve to be treated the way I treated her. More proof that I don't deserve her. I saved her from the pain I would have caused her later on…
So if all this was done with good intentions, why do I hurt so badly? Why does my heart feel like it's twisting in my chest? Why can't I see anything but her face? Why do I want to jump back through this fucking well and go to her? What would I say now? I would probably fuck up and make things worse. It's no use…
I can't take my words back now. I can't change… the past…
Inu Yasha stiffened as he came to a realization. "I can't change past…" he sighed bitterly. The past is the reason I can't move on… How ironic… Staring into the night sky, Inu Yasha stood. The resolve that he'd lost in the wake of his confrontation with Kagome began to return. No… It's not that I'm trying to change the past. The fact remains that I made a promise to Kikyo and myself… I made a vow to lay my past to rest and free Kikyo from her suffering… I can never go on without avenging Kikyo's death. Be it the past or not… I must finish what I started… Kagome is strong and she has her life ahead of her. No point in her wasting her time with me…
Inu Yasha leapt into the air; letting the wind take him back to Jikoro… and away from Bone Eater's well.
I know Kagome probably hates me now but I hope she doesn't try to do anything stupid like seal the well. That thought alarmed him so much he forgot to notice a low hanging branch until it hit him in the head. After yelling a few very colorful curses and reducing the offending tree to saw dust, Inu Yasha continued on. Damn it… I am such a baka… Would Kagome do that? No… I don't think she would. Kagome doesn't have a spiteful bone in her body… She'll bring the Shikon no Tama here. She knows that she can't defend it on her own strength… Unfortunately, Kagome is still untrained and doesn't even know how to control her own power. Not that it matters. Soon she can go back to being an ordinary schoolgirl.
When he arrived at Jikoro, he caught wind of Miroku's scent in the courtyard. The young monk was sitting by the pond meditating. Inu Yasha grunted in annoyance and then walked over to the houshi. So much for time to myself… Well, maybe I could talk to him about what happened.
"So when the hell do you sleep?" Inu Yasha commented snidely as he stood over his meditating friend.
Miroku took his time opening his eyes. He was not at all ruffled by the hanyou's angry display, "I take it you went off again tonight to make things final. Or am I assuming too much?"
Inu Yasha growled but otherwise did not respond. He sat down beside the monk in his usual position and remained silent.
"I'll take that as a yes, then. So how did it go?" Miroku asked suspiciously, narrowing his violet eyes at his companion.
Inu Yasha looked down at the pond and sighed, "Not good."
The monk almost toppled over at the half dog demon's uncharacteristically subdued reply. This has got to be bad if Inu Yasha isn't yelling… Maybe I shouldn't question him right now… I'll just_
Inu Yasha looked over at the monk and then snapped, "Aren't you gonna' be nosey and ask me what happened! Geez bouzu, you're slipping…" Usually he's bowling me over with all of his philosophical crap.
Miroku couldn't help but to smile a bit at his friend's irritation. So you want to talk, eh? "Well… one does get tired of being told to butt out… I figured you would want to brood and be moody…"
Inu Yasha growled in annoyance, "Feh…"
Unfazed by the hanyou's rising anger, Miroku remained silent for a moment. Something must really be wrong if Inu Yasha is actually coming to me for guidance. I usually have to pester him to get a real conversation. Now, he's practically begging me to talk to him.
Inu Yasha looked over at the silent monk and glared. Why isn't he asking me what happened? Doesn't he want to know? What's his deal? Well, if he doesn't want to know that's just fucking peachy for me… I didn't want to talk to that lecherous bastard anyway… Finally fed up with Miroku's continued silence, Inu Yasha yelled once more, "It's not like I give a flying fuck if you wanted to know or not! I wasn't going to tell you anyway!"
The houshi smoothly interrupted the half dog demon's tirade, "So… what happened when you went to Kagome-sama's country?"
Inu Yasha stopped in mid-sentence. The courtyard fell silent once again. Heaving a sigh, the half youkai continued, "I told her I didn't want to see her anymore…"
Miroku looked over at Inu Yasha once again. He felt sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach as he coaxed the hanyou beside him to continue, "Is that all you said? Why do I have this feeling you didn't say it that way."
Inu Yasha golden eyes darkened and then he snapped, "What! You thought I was going to go to her like a wheedling idiot and be wimpy about it. All that matters is that I did what must be done…" Or at least I hope I did…
Oh Kami… "Inu Yasha… tell me what you said." Miroku demanded.
Inu Yasha stiffened, "I can't…"
It was Miroku's turn to sigh, "It was that bad…"
When the hanyou replied his voice was haggard and more than a little sad, "Yes… I said a lot of thing I probably shouldn't have said and then left her there. She was sick too. I could smell it on her. I couldn't comfort her… because I was the one hurting her..."
"Why didn't you just tell her the truth? Why didn't you tell her how you feel?" Inu Yasha, what have you done?
The red clad boy grew angry, more with himself than the monk beside him, "I have never been one for words. I told you already I'm all about action. That's what I know best. I know how to fight not spout love poems or talk about my feelings…" He pounded the ground once with his fist in frustration, forcing the already damaged hand to bleed again. Realizing that he injured himself, Inu Yasha looked down at his bleeding palms, "I was way too harsh… It was just hard to deal with everything I was feeling at that moment… The sadness, guilt, anger, hate, regret… I just latched onto the emotions I fully understood and blocked out everything else… and I hurt Kagome… I didn't even give her an explanation. I ran away, trying to escape the guilt. She probably hates me right now."
Miroku sat speechless for the first time in his life. Inu Yasha… I wish there was something I could say…
"Kagome has nightmares at night… about me… about Kikyo…" Inu Yasha continued, "Two nights in a row, I came in on her sleeping and she was carrying on and babbling. Tonight, I probably validated her worst fears. I could see it her eyes… She looked so fragile like she going to break. I've never seen her that way… I hope I never see it again…" Looking over at Miroku, he laughed bitterly, "No more indecisiveness… You can't call me a two-timer anymore… The confused hanyou finally made a decision and stuck with it… You should be proud, Miroku."
"So what do we do now? Will Kagome-sama bring back the Shikon shards?" Miroku questioned. I can't believe you would end it like this. In my opinion it just doesn't feel right to me. Kagome-sama's place is here with us… with you… Miroku did not voice his opinion because he knew Inu Yasha would not change his mind.
Inu Yasha shrugged and stared up at the night sky before responding, "She will… I know she will…" I will get to see Kagome one last time…Regardless of the circumstances…
"Kagome-sama is kind-hearted…" Miroku fell silent when he noticed half dog demon friend was deep in thought. Inu Yasha… you are hurting more than you let on. If you weren't afraid of your own emotions, you might not be in the predicament you're in. But who am I to talk, it took me way too long to tell Sango how I felt about her. Sango… Miroku deep violet eyes became almost wistful as he thoughts turned to his taiji-ya. We are so close and yet… She remains a bit too distant for my liking. There's so much I still don't know about her. I try to get close. However, our conversations of late have been more guarded, almost as if she's holding back from me. I guess it's because she's still afraid of me. I can't blame her really. I never made much of a good first impression. I still can't help my impulses… Well, I can somewhat… I don't attempt to or even want to touch anyone besides her… Maybe I could flirt a bit less, though… She still doubts how much I really do care about her. It's hard knowing that it's my fault that she does not trust me. I'm so set in my ways… It's hard to break my habits… There are times when I just want to be near her and she shies away from me because she thinks that I'm trying to grope her. That's my fault too. I know I shouldn't but, once my hand is in motion… and those hips… and… Not liking, for once, the train of his thinking the monk stopped and rebuffed his own lecherous thoughts. This is not the time to be thinking of Sango that way. Those wayward thoughts are responsible for my problems as it is. Sango… Hopefully, one day… we will grow old together…
The houshi smiled a bit, but then his smile faded as his thoughts turn to the situation at hand. Sango will be really upset about Kagome-sama's departure form the group, as will Shippou… They think of her as family… as do I. Kagome has held a special place in my heart since I met her. If it had not been for Sango, I probably would have pursued her. I am sure Inu Yasha would have broken me into bits if I had.
Miroku looked over at Inu Yasha once again. He could not resist the teasing the emotionally battered hanyou again, "Now that you and Kagome-sama are no longer together… That means she is single… I just might try my hand at…"
Miroku did not even get a chance to finish his sentence before Inu Yasha responded. If the hanyou had hackles, they would have definitely been raised. The anger was almost visibly seeping of the half youkai, "Don't ever touch Kagome," he growled, his white teeth bared in warning, "Don't even try to put a fucking finger on her or I will rip off both your arms."
The houshi smothered a laugh at the overemotional reaction from his companion, "Pipe down, Inu Yasha… I was only kidding. Besides I love Sango, remember? Well, if you react this way to me joking then I would hate to see how you'd react when Kagome-sama decides to start… What is it she calls it? Da-ting…? Dating… Yes, that's it… She is a very pretty young lady and I am sure young men in her country will want to court her…"
Inu Yasha ceased his growling and frowned, "Well, I won't have to see it so I don't have to think about it either..."
"How are you going to break the news to Sango and Shippou?" Miroku asked seriously, "You know how they feel about Kagome-sama."
"I don't know… I have to think about what to say. No matter what I tell them, I am sure I will be the enemy." The hanyou replied.
"One day they will understand, I suppose…" Miroku answered a bit lamely. I hope…
Inu Yasha snorted, "Right…" I should tell them soon before they start asking all kinds of questions. "Tomorrow, we are returning to Kaede's village. You guys have had enough time to rest; there is no point in staying here any longer."
"So, I guess you'll be telling them tomorrow then?" Miroku asked.
Inu Yasha only grunted, staring absently at the stars. Tomorrow… Will Kagome be there when we return?
"Well, if we are to travel tomorrow I should go get some rest." Miroku rose from his sitting position and rotated his shoulder a bit, "I still a little sore. A good night's rest will do the trick."
"Weak human..." Inu Yasha grumbled without malice.
"Goodnight to you too…" Miroku replied a tinge of his customary amusement present in his voice.
"Keh…" the hanyou snorted.
The houshi shrugged and walked away. Always the same old Inu Yasha…
**** heh.. heh.. heh… Did I say I was going to update on Monday? Umm I meant… err today… *Ducks as rocks and rotting fruit are thrown at her head**** Sorry everybody T-T. I've been doing so much running around lately. Stay tuned… I have another chapter coming I won't say when. Just expect it ASAP. J. Oh yeah and this is for CandiRulZ, sure u can use my plot… I am so sure someone else has done it before. Besides, I don't own Inu Yasha, I can't tell you what to write. Just go for it ^_^. Thanks for the support you guys. You are the best J!!!!!!!!!!!
"I receive light therefore, I give light…"
Megami no Akari
