The genius that is Rumiko Takahashi owns Inu Yasha… I don't… Heh… Not a genius either… oh well and I don't own the rights to My Immortal by Evanescence… When will my losing streak end?
Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love time is eternity.
- Henry Van Dyke
Kagome gasped in shock as the shards flashed before her eyes. However, she didn't have long to ponder what was going on for she too was levitated into the air, her toes barely brushing the comforter on her bed. Her eyes widened in increasing alarm as an invisible force lifted her into midair. The steady pulse of the shards grew stronger and stronger until her eyes were blinded by its brilliant light.
Nani! What is happening? I'm afraid… Kagome opened her mouth to emit a call for help but her cries were muted, the enormous energy given off by the Shikon shards silenced her pleas. Suddenly, Kagome was enveloped in that very magical force which showered her liberally in its eerie lilac glow. Kagome threw her head back in shock, sending her lilac tinged onyx tresses billowing behind her. The power of the shards flowed through her, giving, taking, magnifying, and growing, overwhelming its recipient.
Her brown eyes, wide and unfocused, brightened to glowing white and she gasped as visions she could not comprehend passed before those very eyes; visions of demons, of humans, of bloodshed, of death, of power, of despair, of war… the clang of swords, the swipe of claws, fangs, yells, sobs, light, dark… all flashing before her at an awe inspiring speed.
Who is doing this to me? Why are they showing me this? I don't want to see anymore! Please let it cease!
Kagome's mental cry must have reached someone's ears for the visions stopped abruptly. The young girl gasped again and her whole body jerked before she went limp. Her body was exhausted by the treatment she was receiving, but her mind still raced. I can't see… My eyes… It's so hard to focus… Kagome blinked several times trying to clear her now foggy vision and slowly but surely, her sight returned to her. When her brown eyes were able to focus once again, she could see globes of light and purple dance around her.
"What's going on here?" Kagome questioned, still thinking that her eyes were out of whack. She blinked several more times, rubbing her hands over her face. Her scenery remained the same. She no longer lie in the comfort of her own bedroom. Instead, she stood suspended, seemingly in midair, amongst a pulsing sea of lilac light, globes of purple and gold hues floating and swirling before her. Kagome could hear her own heart beating hard and fast in her ears and her stomach roiled uncomfortably.
"Where am I?" Kagome cried out. I don't understand. How did I get here? And where the hell is here? Am I dreaming? But wait… I know I wasn't dreaming… I didn't even fall asleep yet. The shards of the Shikon no Tama… they were… Kagome reached out to grip her necklace but only grabbed a handful of her pajamas. Oh no… The shards were stolen… It's my entire fault. I should have just handed them over to Inu Yasha.
The orbs began to swirl furiously about her, causing wind produced by their frantic orbit to whip about her frazzled hair and clothing. Kagome cried out in fright, wrapping her arms about her body in a futile attempt to protect herself. Not knowing what else to do, she decided to plea with the unknown villain who held her captive.
"Why are you doing this? What is it that you want!?" Kagome screamed, her voice broken and ragged.
Her question echoed over and over again, bouncing back at the young miko from all angles. However, it was not her voice she heard when her words were repeated back to her. Each echoed question had a different voice, or at least it seemed to be. Kagome recognized none of them. She made an attempt to seek out the voices' owners, opening her miko senses and searching with her eyes, but she found nothing. The overwhelming amount of magic in that sea of lilac light and odd floating globes made it difficult to separate one power from another.
Growing increasingly more frustrated than afraid, she yelled again, her voice liberally laced with anger, "Why are you hiding?! You've got what you want from me! Either let me go or just finish me off. I am getting tired of you mocking me!"
Everything grew still; even the dancing orbs ceased their movement, simply hanging in midair as they pulsed with inner light. For a moment, there was silence save the sound of Kagome's ragged breathing. The young girl surveyed her surroundings nervously, expecting some frightening foe to make its appearance. However, no reply came nor did the culprit come forth to confront Kagome. There was only disturbing stillness and a silence so thick it seemed impenetrable. The silence soon became too much for the Kagome to bear and she opened her mouth to bellow another retort. However, Kagome had no time to form a decent insult for her call was finally answered.
"What is it that you think I want from you…?" The odd question seemed to come from thin air. But it was not the question in itself that shocked Kagome; it was the voice or voices that asked the question. A chorus of voices, all different, all speaking in unison, spoke to her, causing the room to pulse with each word. The orbs of light began to dance once more.
Kagome looked about again, trying in vain to find the source of the voices but to no avail. The speakers remained hidden until they deemed her fit to see them. "What do you mean what do you think I want from you?" Kagome shouted, "Haven't you taken the shards already?"
There was another moment of silence before a reply came, "Nothing has been taken from you…"
The young miko replied bitterly, "You expect me to believe that. Don't toy with me. If nothing has been taken, why don't I have the shards of the Shikon no Tama in my possession?"
"As I said before nothing has been taken from you…" The voices were getting closer.
Kagome didn't even notice because those cryptic comments were pushing her temper to the limit, "You are a really bad liar… and a baka... I'm not stupid you know. I can see what's right in front of my face!"
"Can you now?" The voices sounded almost amused.
There was a pause and then her captors bombarded her with questions, one voice firing after another.
"What does the Shikon no Tama mean to you anyway?"
"Why do you want it?
"You'll just lose it again. Why worry about it?"
"What is your purpose?"
Kagome whipped around several times, overwhelmed by all the questions. There are four of them…. There are four voices but I can't find their sources. What the hell is going on?
"What does the Shikon no Tama mean to you?"
"What does it mean!?"
"WHAT DOES THE SHIKON NO TAMA MEAN TO YOU?!!"
Kagome's eyes darted frantically as she tried her best to form an answer. Fear and confusion welled up in her as she tried to think of answers to the rapid questions all aimed at her, "I… I don't know."
A gentle voice answered this time, a voice that held authority and strength, "You do not know? I figured as much. I didn't expect that you would, not yet…"
The floating orbs around Kagome began to swirl and collide, forming a human sized column of light.
The young girl watched in horrified awe as the column morphed before her eyes, taking on the shape of what seemed to be a human form. "Nani?! What's happening?"
A huge flash illuminated the area, highlighting Kagome momentarily in dazzling white. The light faded as quickly as it came leaving behind a trail of sparkling residue and magic.
Kagome's eyes widened at the sight before her. It was the image of a woman standing before her with long flowing black locks, and skin as pale as moonlight. Upon her forehead were four glowing diamond shaped marks circling around a single point. When the woman's eyes opened, Kagome saw that the color of her eyes continually changed. The woman wore a kimono similar to that of Kikyo's but Kagome could tell that her garb was much older. The woman's eyes focused upon the young girl and Kagome gasped silently.
"Kagome Higurashi…" The strange woman extended her hand, a smile gracing her features.
The young miko tried her best to move back and probably would have if she was not suspended in mid air, "How do you know my name?"
The woman smiled again, "How could I not? I have been with you ever since you were first conceived and perhaps longer…"
Kagome shook her head in disbelief, "I don't understand."
The woman sighed, "I know. You are still young and inexperienced. You know nothing of your destiny…"
"My destiny…"
"Yes… you will soon understand… You must …" the woman standing before her was serene, her voice soft and calm.
"I'm sorry… I just… I don't know what you mean…." Kagome could feel a lump forming in her throat, "Don't you have the jewel shards? You stole them from me… What more do you want from me…"
The woman floated towards her, stopping when there was barely a foot of space between them, "How can I steal that which has always been mine?"
"Yours?" Suddenly Kagome's mind revisited the cave of Midoriko and the somber figure intertwined with demons and encased in crystal for all eternity. "Midoriko?"
The woman smiled, lifting her fingers to run them through Kagome's black tresses, "Now you are beginning to see…" The glowing marks upon Mirdoriko's head pulsed with light. "Time is growing much too short… The Shikon no Tama is almost complete and I grow weary of fighting. The influence of darkness is turning the tide in this battle… Such powerful evil… We… the four battling spirits of the jewel have all grown weary and wish to be free…"
"Free… I don't understand… Where are the jewel shards?" the young miko was still confused.
"I pulled you inside. It took much power to do it and I grow tired… Because of your influence, the shards you hold are completely unmarred by evil. Because of your pure aura and strength, I was able to communicate with you."
"So it was you who kept making the shards flash…"
Midoriko stared deep into Kagome's eyes, seeing her thoughts, "I sensed that your dedication to this mission is waning… I could not allow you to give in."
Kagome faltered, "I… I felt there was no need for me…"
"Oh… but there is… You are the only one who can purify the shards…"
"Kikyo can do it…."
Midoriko's color-shifting eyes narrowed a bit, "She who came before you… once protector of the Shikon no Tama… she can not purify the jewel…"
"That's not true. I saw her do it." Kagome replied.
The ancient priestess shook her head again, "She who came before you can not purify the jewel and free us. Her time has long ended. This she already knows."
"But how can she…"
Midoriko placed a single over Kagome's lips to silence, "We are mikos, servants of the gods. Our duty is to protect the human race and fight the youkai who use their power in malevolent manners. We are human and yet we are not. As mikos, we must be pure of spirit and strong in mind and body. The path of a miko is a lonely one and at times, sacrifices must be made in order to ensure the well being of those we live to protect. We live for others, not ourselves… That is our purpose…." Midoriko's features saddened as she continued, her iridescent eyes faded to midnight blue, "The one once called Kikyo knew her duty. However… her heart craved the life of a regular woman… A life she could never have…. She repressed those thoughts and therefore resigned her life to serving her village and those in need. When the Shikon no Tama passed on to her, her burgeoning feelings would not allow her to fully purify the jewel. No matter how hard she tried, her heart was never fully into her task. She began to blame Shikon no Tama and even secretly bore it hatred. The one once known as Kikyo continued to protect the jewel as duty commanded until she fell in love… She found solace in a kindred spirit who knew loneliness as well as she did…"
"Inu Yasha…" Kagome's voice was not but a pained whisper.
"Yes… the hanyou, Inu Yasha… she fell in love with him. Her duty bore too heavily on her shoulders then, and she abandoned it entirely. All for the sake of love… she grew blind to all things. Because of her folly, the entity now known as Naraku was born. The one once called Kikyo allowed her own wants and selfish desires to lead her astray and in the end she was destroyed by her own mistrust and inexperience in emotions. She knew she had failed in her duties… but she did not blame herself… Her strong pride would not allow such a thing. Instead, she begrudged her own lover, Inu Yasha, and the Shikon no Tama. Had she embraced the power of the jewel with a pure heart, she would not have died and she would have finally been free of the very object she learned to hate. She took her hatred to the grave… When she rose from the underworld, she was Kikyo no longer. Now she walks this earth as an empty, lifeless doll. Her own pride sustains her… Such pain and sadness she bears all for the sake of vengeance."
Kagome frowned sadly. Kikyo could have lived if she wanted to. I remember Naraku's words that day so long ago. He said that Kikyo's will was to die… Naraku's words are twisted and tainted wit venom whenever he speaks therefore, it is hard to believe anything he says... but Midoriko's words… to choose death over life… Kagome shuddered as memories came unbidden to her mind. I almost made the same choice…
"I do not blame her… It was my actions that lead to her sorrow. I did what was necessary at that time but I still regret the consequences of my actions. I had no other option. The lives of many lay in my hands. " Midoriko closed her eyes, a pained expression marring her features, "In that moment, when I forced my soul from my body and trapped the souls of the three demons I battled, I saw the future. I saw time pass, the bloodshed, the carnage… I saw Kikyo and I saw you… I knew that you would come…"
"Me…?" Kagome questioned.
"Yes… Have you not ever wondered why the Shikon no Tama found a resting place within you? Do you not question why you came through the well at all?" Midoriko asked as her intense eyes bore into Kagome's dark brown ones.
The young miko mulled the question over before answering, "I really never asked many questions… It's weird… I just guessed it was some odd circumstance… I mean after all Kikyo's body was burned with the Shikon no Tama and I am her reincarnation."
"Your fate and the fate of the jewel are more closely tied than you know. Soon you'll understand." Midoriko's image flickered and she stepped back from Kagome. "Even without the missing pieces of your soul, you are strong. Never question your power… Time is of the essence and indecisiveness is not an option…"
"Wait! I still don't understand." Kagome reached out to Midoriko's retreating figure. "What can I really do?"
"In time, we will meet again and all will come full circle…. You will see…" Midoriko smiled one last time before being engulfed in a surge of blinding white light.
Kagome cried out and flung her arms over her face to shield her eyes. When she uncovered her eyes, the young girl was sitting in the middle of her bed. "Nani? Did that really happen?" Kagome clutched at her pajamas and found the shards resting safely against her bosom and warm to the touch. She fell backwards onto her bed sighing heavily, "If it's all true, I guess I have to go back to Sengoku Jidai. But..."
That means I'll have to see Inu Yasha again. I'm not sure I can do this. I'm not sure I can face him and hear the cruel things he might say. It hurts far too much to think about all the things that have already transpired. Kagome placed her hand over the shards as they pulsed insistently against her chest. But, it seems I don't have much of a choice in the matter. I just need a little more time.
Kagome lifted her necklace to eye level, "Is it okay if I take a little time to think about things? I need to prepare myself for what I must do…"
She watched the shards for a moment, almost expecting some sort of response but nothing came, "I guess that's as good an answer as any…"
She released her hold on her necklace and stare up at the ceiling, watching as shadows danced slowly across the walls. Her eye lids began to droop slightly and she yawned. Kagome burrowed into her cool sheets, pressing her face into her pillow. I'm exhausted. Thinking too much drains my energy. The sound of something hitting her window caught her attention and she looked up tiredly.
"It's raining…" she mumbled before her eyes drifted shut and the gentle sound of rain lulled her to sleep.
***
Kagome spent her whole Sunday doing things that she had not been able to since she returned. Ever since her fateful return to the present, she'd spent most of her time in solitude or working herself into a stupor. Kagome knew that her family worried about her well being and she also knew deep down that her next excursion to Sengoku Jidai may be the longest she'd ever been away. Instead of dwelling on the difficulties the future may hold and the problems that burdened her, she genuinely laughed and enjoyed the company of her family and friends.
She spent quality time with her brother which meant beating up on him and playing video games. She even told him about some of her adventures in the past some including Inu Yasha. She did not falter when she spoke of him. Kagome felt no need to sully this day with sadness or bring her family any undue stress by collapsing into a depressed heap. Besides, her little brother was so enthusiastic and excited about hearing her stories that she could not help but to smile. She cherished the fun times they had together, laughing and teasing each other. In the course of their conversations and much to her surprise, Kagome discovered that Souta had a girlfriend.
He'd admitted it blushing and stuttering all the while, "Kagome…. I sort of met this girl I really like….and I guess we are dating now…"
Kagome had to suppress the urge to pinch his cheeks and tease him, "When did this happen?"
Souta twiddled his fingers nervously as he replied, "We have all the same classes together. We did last year too. I mean I noticed her then but, I was too chicken to ask her out. By the time I got the courage too, it was the end of the year. I remembered the advice you and Inu Yasha gave me last time I had a crush on a girl and I just went for it."
Kagome smiled, "Well, who is this lucky girl?"
He affectionately described the girl to his sister. Kagome again repressed the urge to tease him. Instead, she gave him advice about girls as any big sister would do and prayed to any gods listening that he would not follow in the foot steps of a certain hanyou she knew.
Later that day, she talked with her mom over a cup of tea, listening to her words of advice about life and most importantly men. While, Kagome never broached the subject of why she returned home, she already knew her mother had some idea of what transpired. Mrs. Higurashi was a very perceptive woman and subtle as well. It never was her way to directly interfere. Kagome listened intently as her mother recounted tales of her youth especially the ones including the courtship of her now deceased father. She loved the way her mother's eyes would light up any time she talked about him.
"When your father and I began dating, he was such a stubborn boy. We got into many petty arguments, if you can believe that I argue, just because he was so bull headed. I loved him that way. I miss him a lot but, I know that wherever he is, he's watching over us all." Mrs. Higurashi sighed and sipped her tea.
"I know." Kagome replied smiling softy.
Her mother put down her cup of tea and smiled, "You are so much like him, I think. I know you have a stubborn will and you are so very strong. I admire your strength."
Kagome blushed and sighed, "You are far stronger than I'll ever be."
"I'm just your run of the mill mom. I do what all mothers are made to do." Mrs. Higurashi looked down at her tea and then back up at Kagome, "You are leaving again, aren't you. I can tell by the look in your eye."
"There's something I must do…" was Kagome's only reply.
Her mother nodded, "I know." She reached across the table and patted Kagome's hand, "I know…"
Kagome smiled up at her mother. No one knows me as well as she does…
That night when all were seated around the dinner table, Kagome listened to her grandfather's tales of lore with much amusement. She took great joy in his blustering as she corrected him on some event that occurred in the past or ancient fact. Souta and her mother thoroughly enjoyed Kagome and the old priest's argument although they never said for fear of a long spiel from the old man. Kagome rolled her eyes several times as her grandfather went on to talk about the "old days" and how children respected their elders far more than they did now. At the end of the meal, she hugged him, taking the Shinto priest by surprise and then excused herself from the table.
"Such an odd child…" he grumbled as he watched her retreating back.
Mrs. Higurashi only smothered a laugh and continued to eat. Souta snickered behind his had, trying to play it off as a cough.
As soon as Kagome reached her bed, she flopped down upon it and fell into slumber. She did not want to spoil the giddy high she felt while spending time with her family with sad thoughts. She knew what had to be done. If for one day, I can be happy then that's all that matters. Hard times will come and go but as long I keep this day in my memory I can look back on it when times grow stressful and laugh.
When Kagome awoke on that fateful Monday, she did nothing out of the ordinary. She walked to school, chatted with her friends, and went to class. As the day stretched on however, she became more reclusive and lost in thought, something her friends commented on immediately after school.
"What's going on Kagome? You're being a total space cadet. I've been talking to you for the last five minutes and you have yet to say a single word. I might as well be talking to myself…" Eri huffed indignantly.
Yuka decided to add her two cents before Kagome could reply, "I bet you are thinking about "him" again."
Ayumi nodded in agreement.
"I just have a lot on my mind…" Kagome sighed, "Just thinking about the future and all…" Well not exactly the future… It's the past really. But, how can I tell you guys that without sounding like a nut.
Ayumi nudged her friend Eri as she spoke, "Kagome you are such a mystery. You never really tell us anything at all."
Eri hovered over her, hands on hips, "Yeah! When are you going to finally let us in? We are always here to help you know."
The young miko sighed, "I know. Don't worry so much you guys. I'll tell you something when there is something to tell."
The trio all sighed and gave up their interrogation.
"The girl is hopeless, utterly hopeless…" Ayumi sighed when Kagome dismissed herself.
Kagome heard Ayumi's frustrated sigh. I probably am. I should have asked them what I should say to Inu Yasha when I see him next… But, I doubt they will be of any help. They would probably lecture me for hours on end and the tell me to stay away from him. My friends can be such a pain sometimes. I know they butt in with good intentions so I can't get too annoyed.
She looked down at her watch and sighed, "I'm running late." I know Sae-san is going to be at Hinode waiting for me. She's probably going to kill me when I get there. With that Kagome took off running through Tokyo's streets, towards her dojo.
When she arrived, winded and ragged, the students were still stretching and chatting amongst themselves. Kagome bowed over trying to catch a decent breath. After a few seconds of deep breathing, she realized she was staring down at feet that were not her own. The young girl's heart rate spiked through the roof as she panicked. Is it Sae-san? Oh crap! I'm in trouble…
Kagome clapped her hands together and bowed remorsefully as apologies spewed out of her mouth, "Gomen nasai! I'm so sorry. I got held up after school! I did not mean to be tardy." She bowed several times before finally meeting the eyes of her executioner. She face faulted when her eyes met deep purple ones.
Mishiro smiled brightly down at Kagome as he spoke, "And hello to you to, Higurashi-san."
Kagome blushed deeply, "I'm sorry. I panicked…"
The karate instructor shrugged, "Heh… Sae didn't tell you? She had some business to take care of. I guess it's top secret teacher's stuff. I will be instructing all the classes for the evening."
"Oh." Oh that's right… I was so lost in thought I forgot that Sae-san told me she had a teacher's meeting after school… I am way too flighty for my own good.
Mishiro frowned a bit, "You don't sound too excited about that…"
Kagome waved her hands before her, "No, it isn't that I'm not excited, Shiyuki-san, I'm just used to Hakibi-sensei. I've never been under your instruction before. I am still a novice and will probably get in the way."
Mishiro's deep purple lit up with amusement as he rubbed his chin, "Good comeback. Sae said you were a very clever girl. She also said you will make an excellent fighter with the proper guidance."
Her deep brown eyes widened in surprise, "She really said that?"
He nodded and response and placed an arm around Kagome's shoulder, guiding her toward the dressing rooms, "Hurry and get dressed. We spar today."
Kagome stood frozen, "Spar?!"
Mishiro was already walking away when he responded, "Don't worry…" With that being said, her smiled charmingly at her, causing the young girl to blush slightly.
Kagome went into the dressing room and changed her clothes quickly with shaky fingers. I have to spar today? Kami-sama, I'm going to get embarrassed. That damn Mishiro… He knows that I'm new to all this and he's going to make me fight. Ugh!
She rushed back onto the floor and stretched as best she could before opening exercise began. Her heart was pounding so hard in her ears; she could barely hear Mishiro keep count as they began.
Ich…
I'm going to die…
Ni…
I'm going to embarrass myself in front of everyone…
San…
Ack!
The beginning exercises were over far too quickly for Kagome although, she'd long ago resigned to failure. Sweat beaded on her forehead and her stomach roiled uncomfortably. She heard Mishiro announce sparring partners. It soon came to her attention that she was the only one without a partner. I must have been forgotten about. That's good luck for me then. Now, if I could just stay out of sight…
Kagome smiled slyly and tried to inch her way to the back wall. I'm almost there…
"Higurashi-san!" Mishiro's voice rang out, catching several students' attention and making Kagome freeze.
Kagome mentally cursed her bad luck, "Hai sensei?" I was so close…
Mishiro smiled almost too knowingly, "Since everyone is paired up, you will spar with me."
Nani!? Kagome turned an interesting shade of blue, "H… Hai."
Her instructor walked over to her and patted her back reassuringly, "Worry not, I like to test out all the new students. My philosophy is there no better a way to judge a student's skill then to see them in action."
She nodded numbly and gulped, trying desperately not to choke on her heart which seemed to have lodged itself in her throat. This cannot in any way be good.
Mishiro Shiyuki stood tall, clapping his hands together loudly to command the attention of the chatting students, "You may begin today's practice, I will be watching every last one of you. No goofing off. And remember, Shiyuki-sama will be returning to Hinode on Wednesday, failure to advance will dishonor both yourselves and your instructors. I don't take dishonor lightly…" A heavy silence fell on the class as all the students observed Mishiro's very serious expression.
Kagome quickly learned that although Mishiro Shiyuki was a light hearted and friendly person, he was just as stern a taskmaster as Sae.
Mishiro smiled again and continued, "Well, let's get to it…" All of the students responded immediately, taking stances and starting their workouts. Her instructor's attention flickered back to her, his deep purple eyes flitting over her quickly before her spoke, "Are you ready?"
Kagome did not fail to notice his perusal of her body and her cheeks warmed in embarrassment. He may be more subtle than Miroku but, he's still a hentai. "I'm ready as I'll ever be," she finally sighed.
"Don't sound so enthusiastic, Higurashi-san." He replied drolly as a he bowed before her.
Kagome followed suit and readied herself, taking on a fighting stance that Sae-san taught her. She watched him wearily as they circled each other. Oh this is going to be bad. He's really good and he knows it. Why must he pick on an amateur like me? Wait, I lower than an amateur. I have no idea what to do.
"Focus, Higurashi-san…" Mishiro quiet, authoritative words were meant only for her ears, "When engaged in battle, you must focus on your opponent."
She nodded. Focus… Should I make the first move? I am not trying to end up on my back yet.
Her instructor smiled, "Good… I can tell that your mind is where it should be now. However, I see hesitation. Attack me… I want to see how good your offensive technique is…"
Attack?! Kagome's mind was racing. Oh great, I'm going to get pounded for sure… She circled one more trying to find a weakness in his defense. When she couldn't find any, she just aimed a punch and prayed. He dodged it, counterattacking with a well aimed punch of his own. Kagome saw it coming in time and dodge, barely. She felt the wind generated by his strike brush past her face and her brown eyes widened. He's not kidding at all. From then on Kagome was on the defense, blocking, dodging, circling,, and shifting.
"Your defense is good but, where is your offense? Are you scared to throw a punch/?"
Kagome's eyes narrowed, she could feel her temper flaring even though she knew her teacher was just teasing. She threw another punch, without hesitation this time, aiming at his midsection. He dodged it of course, smirking. His smirk faded when he barely avoided another strike aimed at his shoulder.
"Feisty now are we?" Mishiro asked, "Don't let anger guide you in a fight. You'll end up being blinded by it."
The young girl only nodded and focused all of her attention on him. He's got to have a weakness somewhere… Every time I try to attack he blocks me or dodges. Kagome winced as she blocked another of his blows. At this rate, I'm going to get tired out. Only time he's vulnerable is when he's attacking. How do I manage to avoid his attack and strike him? Will I be fast enough? Kagome threw another punch and shifted out of harm's way as he counterattacked. Seeing that his right side was open, she went in for the kill but… was swept straight off her feet and landed on her back.
"Ugggh…" Kagome muttered in disgust. So close… I was so close… She came up on her elbows and groaned. When she saw Mishiro reach out a hand to help her up, she grabbed it without hesitation. Instead of looking him in the face, she brushed herself off and straightened her training gear. I really don't feel like hearing how bad I suck…
"I'm impressed Higurashi-san…"
Kagome's head jolted it up, "Huh? But, I got knocked down…"
Mishiro smiled, "Yes, I know. It's not the most important thing, though. I'm impressed by your defensive abilities. That was a good attack too. Only reason I knew you were planning something is because your face is so readable. I figured you would take the bait if I handed it to you…"
She was far too dumfounded to form any coherent reply, "Oh…"
"You could put a little bit more power behind your punch as well. Not too much, though." Mishiro advised.
Kagome nodded. He doesn't think I'm bad at all. I could actually get the hang of this.
Mishiro-san stroked his chin in thought as he spoke, "I see now that sparring with you would take more of my attention than I first believed and I have to a class to watch. Come sit with me and help me observe the class."
She and her instructor sat down on one of training mats scattered on the floor of the dojo. She listened closely as he critiqued the students' fighting styles and pointed out flaws and frequent mistakes. He asked her to watch closely and observe any flaws that she observed. Kagome noticed that some of the female students were giving her an evil eye. She couldn't blame them. Mishiro Shiyuki was quite the charming guy and handsome to boot. They probably thought she and the young instructor were involved. It didn't help that he would smile at her ever so often and make a comment that made her blush profusely.
"You're a very beautiful young lady and a prodigy. If I hadn't already pledged myself to Sae Hakibi, I would be asking your father for your hand in marriage…" Mishiro's comment came out of nowhere, catching her completely off guard. He hadn't even looked over at her, his violet gaze observing the class closely.
Kagome imagined that her face was as red as beet at that moment. No wonder Sae-san said to stay away from him. If I were naïve enough I would probably be drooling over him right now. He's a sly one. I guess he's had plenty of time to perfect his craft. Miroku has taken enough bumps over the head to learn his lesson for all eternity I guess.
He looked over at her, his expression perplexed, "I just keep getting this feeling that have met before…"
Oh here he goes again with that line…
"Perhaps, we met in another lifetime. Sae scoffs whenever I say things like that. She thinks it's a pile of nonsense." He frowned slightly.
Kagome smiled knowingly, "Are you talking about reincarnation?"
Mishiro grinned proudly, 'I did my thesis on it, with basis in religion and philosophy."
Kagome nodded.
"Do you believe in that sort of thing? Excuse me if I am talking your ear off…"
Kagome replied, "It's not a bother Shiyuki-sensei. I would be glad to answer. I actually do believe in reincarnation. There are a lot of things that just can't be explained away with science and reason. I mean how much do we know about what happens to us when we die?" Well… I guess my circumstances are special.
Her instructor nodded his eyes focused back on his class, "I like you. You're strong (for a novice), smart and cute, traits that will get you far in life. Not to mention, you'll soon be able to thrash anyone who thinks otherwise. Because you have won my favor, I appoint you my new conversation partner. Our next topic will be existentialism. Be prepared."
Kagome chuckled softly as she replied, "Hai sensei…" She fell silent, her thoughts focused n the present and her future.
We'll just have to postpone that conversation until I come back…. If I come back….
***
Her karate class soon ended and Kagome found herself standing in the courtyard of her family shrine far quicker than she intended. She trudged into the house and up the stairs to her bedroom to get ready. She took the world's longest shower, scrubbing every inch of her skin, trying her best to draw out her time as much as possible. She finally gave up when her skin became puckered and wrinkly. After drying off , she went back to her bedroom to get dressed and pack. After tossing back on her school uniform, she began gathering items to take to Sengoku Jidai.
She packed very slowly, stuffing that ragged yellow back backpack with all the essentials and then some. She felt fear well up in her heart but she kept going, kneeling over her task and moving almost mechanically. Part of her cried that she should just fling that yellow bag into the fire along with the shards. She sighed, sitting back on her heels and stared at the impossibly full yellow bag.
I don't think I can stuff another thing in there. This distorted yellow bag has seen more than its share of abuse. Maybe I can get one more thing… Oh who am I kidding? I'm just drawing out the inevitable. I can't help it. I'm afraid…
"There nothing for it now. I have to do what I have to do…" Kagome lectured herself as she picked up the heavy yellow bag and slid it onto her shoulders.
With one last glance at her bedroom, she flicked the light switch off and walked slowly down the stairs. Each step felt like a mile in Kagome's mind. Everything was exaggerated in slow motion as she moved towards her fate. She heard the thud of each footstep pound in her head and her breath sounded harsh and loud to her ears. When she finally reached the first floor, she looked longingly at her family. They sat at the dining room table chatting and laughing. Souta looked up at her and understanding dawned on his face. He swiftly moved to her side embracing her tightly.
"You're leaving again, aren't you?" he asked sadly, although he knew full and well that she was.
Kagome felt a lump in her throat as she replied, "Yes Souta, I have to go back." I swear to the gods, if I start crying I will beat myself up. Crying is not allowed. She swallowed hard, "I will be back. I promise."
Her younger brother nodded and released her. When he stepped back, her mother took his place, holding Kagome close.
Mrs. Higurashi had a sheen of unshed tears in her eyes when she finally let Kagome go, "Be safe… I know how dangerous it can be in the past…"
"Mama, don't cry. I'll be fine. It's not like I haven't gone back a million times before" Kagome smiled unconvincingly, trying her best to be lighthearted.
Her mother halfheartedly smiled back as she wiped the tears from her eyes, "I know…"
"Jii-chan try not to make my illnesses so weird this time, okay…" Kagome said to her grandfather before turning towards.
She walked out into the cool night air without another word, leaving behind her family. She gripped the shoulder straps tightly as she walked across the courtyard, toward the well house. The young miko could not quell the growing sense of dread that was pooling up inside her. By the time she reached the little shack that housed the Bone Eater's Well, she was a ball of anxiety and apprehension. Her sweaty palms slid down her shoulder straps. Sweat beaded on her forehead and her chest heaved with each breath she took.
Here I am… Standing on the threshold of my destiny. It only takes a few more steps and I will be back in Sengoku Jidai.
Back with Miroku, Sango, Shippou, Kaede… and Inu Yasha.
Kagome's foot slid forward as she took a hesitant step. A gust of wind blew past her face, ruffling her black tresses. She reached out to pull the handle on the door of the shack with shaking hands but paused. Despite the coolness of the night air, a bead of sweat slid down her temple and she shuddered, not from cold but in fear. She had not been to well since Inu Yasha left her there feverish and broken. In her mind's eye, she relived the entire episode in vivid detail.
"Heh… You're so weak. Thinking of all the time I spent pretending to be your friend disgusts me."
"You don't want hear the truth. What is it, Kagome? Would you rather live in your little dreamland? You're more pitiful than I thought."
"I had to pretend you were Kikyo most of the time just to stomach you. But, you aren't Kikyo… You are just a poor, faulty copy… "
"I never loved you… I never was your friend… I took pity on you because I could see that you liked me. I was kind of flattered at first."
"I don't want to be near you anymore…"
"I don't want to see your face… You got that, Kagome! It's over…"
Her wide brown eyes darkened as each hurtful word echoed in her head and pierced her heart. Her shoulders slumped and the heavy yellow backpack she carried slid off unnoticed by the paralyzed young girl. Kagome stumbled back from the well house, nearly tripping over the fallen bag. Her heart was beating in her throat as her feet carried her away from the well . Oddly enough, she didn't just run back to her house and lock the door. Instead found herself standing before the towering Goshinboku tree. It's limbs were cast silver in the moonlight and a breeze shook its leaves, causing the prayers attached to them to flutter in the breeze. Beneath that huge tree, Kagome clutched at her chest, willing her heart rate to slow to normal.
**I'm so tired of being here… Suppressed by all my childish fears…**
She collapsed onto her knees before the majestic tree. Her arms fell limp at her sides and she lowered her head causing her bangs to cast a shadow on her face.
I don't know if I can do this…
**If you have to leave I wish that you would just leave… Because you presence still lingers here and won't leave me alone…**
I don't if I will be strong enough to face Inu Yasha. I don't even know what I will say…
**These wounds won't seem heal… This pain is just too real…**
For awhile, I was able to pretend that I was okay, that things were normal. I bottled up my emotions because I had to get on with my life but…
**There's just too much that time can not erase…**
Now the time has come for me to deal with the problems I left behind and I'm deathly afraid. I didn't think the memories would be this fresh in my mind. I fooled myself into believing that I at least healed a little… It seems that the wounds are still open. How can I look in the eyes knowing that everything I tried to build with him; trust, friendship, love… was all a lie?
**When you cried I wiped away all your tears… When you screamed I fight away all of your fears…**
Kagome looked down at her shaking hands and then up at the ancient tree looming high above her. A soft breeze rustled through her hair and cooled her painfully dry eyes. It all began here so many years ago. I never ceased to be amazed at how I ended up Sengoku Jidai, standing in this very spot. Had I fallen in love with Inu Yasha from the moment I met him? If I knew then that I would be a faulty replacement for his true heart's desire, would I have still loved him the way I do now? Probably… Being the fool that I am would have still tried to find a way into his heart.
**I held your hand through all of these years but you still have all of me…**
My fate was signed, sealed, and delivered from the moment I set eyes on him, hanging lifelessly from the trunk of the Goshinboku tree by an arrow. I can remember it so clearly… I can almost feel his essence. How was it that I trusted him so easily that fateful day? Once long ago I would have said that a life or death situation will make a person create the most unlikely alliances. Was I that afraid for my life or did my reincarnated soul and foolish heart recognize him immediately? Did I love him before I even knew him?
**You used to captivate me by your resonating might… Now I'm bound by the life you left behind**
It's probably true… How else can I really explain what drew me to him? I trusted him without any premise, without a second thought. He even tried to use me as a scratching post once. I can't say I really banked so heavily upon that necklace he wears. Although it came in handy at times, couldn't he have just as easily slit my neck in my sleep? It's not like I wasn't vulnerable… I know now that he was just biding his time… while I foolishly began to believe a friendship was evolving between us. Friendship… Just thinking about it makes my heart twist in my chest. I thought the way he fiercely protected me, the way he was upset whenever I was injured or in trouble, or the way he would go out of his way to come get me from my time meant that he really wanted me around but... I know the truth now. It's too late though. He stole my heart before I even got a chance to be on guard. I was too young and inexperienced to know… I still am…
**You face it halts my once pleasant dreams… Your voice it chases away all the sanity me**
Oh sure I denied it at first… I even told my friends that I could only love someone who was the exact opposite of Inu Yasha. However, that day when he looked to my eyes with such longing, searching for the person that I may have been so long ago I was lost… I suddenly thought of what it would be like to have him look at me like that and not through me. I remember his voice that day… so soft and solemn. I wondered what it would be like to have him to confess that he loved me, that he couldn't be without me….
**These wounds won't seem heal… This pain is just too real**
Kagome's face twisted into a frown as her thoughts floated on to darker territory. But of course he can't be without his 'shard detector'. Gods forbid! That's all I was good for then and now… I am no longer necessary. How it hurts to know I was used so easily, a victim of my own emotions.
**There's just too much that time can not erase…**
I wish I could just hate him and be done with it…
**When you cried I wiped away all your tears… When you screamed I fight away all of your fears…**
Kagome hand rested on the Shikon no Tama and she sighed. But I can't… The happy times that we spent together or at least the times that seemed happy to me won't let my love die. The times when he seemed so vulnerable and so alone pierced my heart far too deep. I wanted to be there for him always… I wanted to know what it was like to see Inu Yasha smile, to hear him laugh, to know his love… Emotions that strong just don't fade…
**I held your hand through all of these years but you still have all of me…**
Kagome rose from her kneeling position and looked beyond the ancient tree to the clouded night sky above her. So trying to run away will not solve the problem… My feelings will just fester…
**I tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone… But though you're still with me…**
I have to go back and finished what I started. It's only right. It doesn't matter whether it hurts or not… The fate of many lies in my hands now and I will not fail this time… I cannot turn away from this mission in good conscience. Being a normal girl will just have to wait.
I've been alone all along…
Midoriko said the path of a miko is a lonely thing. I guess I know that better now than even before…
Kagome strode away from the sacred tree and back to the well house. She picked up her heavy yellow backpack and slid it onto her shoulders, ignoring the protests in her shoulders.
"Here goes nothing…" Kagome said to no one in particular. Without another word, she slid the door to the wooden shack open and disappeared into the darkness.
Back to Sengoku Jidai……
Finalllllllllllyyy!!!!!!!!!!!! I finished this chapter. It was a doozy to write. I hope everything makes sense. I hope there aren't a lot of mistakes either. If it's any consolation I made this chapter extra long and the next chapter will have some major confrontation… As always…I appreciate any reviews (if any) I'll get and I'll try to clarify any questions or concerns….
Luv Ya….
Megami no Hikari….
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