Ahhh!  I still don't own Inu Yasha…

                "How long is he going to sit like that?"  Shippou whispered to his cohort as he peeked through the trees at a very sullen hanyou.

                The violet-eyed perpetrator looked over at the kitsune and shook his head sadly, "He's waiting for Kagome…"

                Shippou sighed propping his chin on his little hand, "Why doesn't he just go after her?  Wouldn't that be easier?"

                Miroku shook his head once again, "Easier for who?  If Inu Yasha went to Kagome-sama's time, we would never see her again…"   Besides I think he's afraid to go back as well…

                Shippou frowned, "I guess he wants us to have our final goodbyes… but, why does it have to be this way?  I don't understand.  I don't want Kagome to leave forever.  What are we supposed to do without her?  What am I supposed to do?"

                Peeking through a growth of vegetation strategically downwind of Inu Yasha's strong sense of smell, Miroku and Shippou sat in silence.  If the hanyou was aware of their presence, which he probably was, he gave no indication.  The hanyou sat ramrod straight, arms and legs crossed, Tetsusaiga at his side.  His eyes remained locked on the well, never faltering. 

                The houshi placed a comforting hand on the kitsune's sandy brown locks but said nothing at all.  He sighed and kept his intense eyes locked on his hanyou friend.  This is really hard for everyone especially Inu Yasha…  I know it has to be killing him inside to wait like this… 

The group watched Inu Yasha in shifts day after day, both dreading and hoping that Kagome would climb through the well.  They even went so far as to try to coax Inu Yasha away from Bone Eater's well just to make sure that his volcanic temper wouldn't explode on the young miko.  Instead, the temperamental hanyou gave them all a taste of his vile temper.  His remarks were scathing and his amber eyes glowing threatening scarlet, belied his ever growing anger and making his companions fear that if they pushed him too far his youkai blood would fully take hold.   Now his overprotective friends resigned to keep vigil over Inu Yasha and pray to the gods for the best.  They brought his food in silence and watched as he barely touched a bit.  Watching the forlorn hanyou waste away was cause enough for everyone to worry including the young kitsune Shippou, who in the beginning had a grand time wishing Inu Yasha to the depths of hell for making his beloved Kagome leave forever.  After watching the hanyou odd and frightening behavior for days, the little fox demon begrudgingly admitted that he too worried about his bully and did not want to see him come to harm. 

"Things just don't seem right to me." Shippou whispered more to himself than to the monk beside him.  The fox child looked up at the sky, a sky tinged with the pinks and oranges of an oncoming sunset. 

"Well, this is the best we can do for now…" Miroku answered his tone grave and low.  "Seeing Inu Yasha like this worries me more than anything but there is nothing we can do.  He won't allow us to help…"

Shippou heaved a sigh, "Sango and Kirara will be here soon to take the night shift.  It's almost night time."

The houshi only nodded distractedly.  The energy in this surrounding area has been charged with tension since we turned to Kaede-sama's village.  Today, it's nearly crackling all around us.  I can feel it.  Something is going to happen.  

Shippou opened his mouth but closed it immediately when he noticed Miroku was lost in deep concentration.  He looked back at Inu Yasha and then plucked at an errant blade of grass near him.  The young kitsune was restless and uneasy.  I don't think I can sit and stare at Inu Yasha much longer.  I'm starting to get the chills for some odd reason.

"Do you feel that?" Miroku's voice cut through the air and startled his companion.

Shippou looked up abruptly and stuttered a reply, "Nani?  Do… Do I feel what?"

"Can you feel the turbulent energy in the air?  It's almost like a storm is rolling in…" Miroku explained.

                "Yea…  I think so.  I've been feeling a little weird since we got here.  Do you think it's a youkai in the area or something?"  Shippou rubbed his little forearms, trying to will his fur to stop standing on end.

                "No… it's isn't a youkai…  I think something is going to happen tonight…  I am almost sure of it."

                "You think it's Kagome?" Shippou whispered his leaf green eyes wide.

                Miroku opened his mouth to answer but paused as Sango silently made her way over to them with Kirara perched primly on her shoulder.

                "I came to relieve you.  I'm sure you're both tired and hungry by now." Sango spoke in subdued tones as she knelt beside Miroku.

                Shippou looked all too happy to go back to the village but the houshi shook his head, a frown marring his handsome features, "I'm not leaving…"

                Sango eyed him suspiciously and shifted away from him slightly, "Houshi-sama?"

                Miroku smiled softly at the wary taiji-ya; raising his hands in innocence, "Worry not Sango.  I'm not up to anything."

                Sango shrugged, directing her stern gaze to Inu Yasha, "Do you think tonight…?"  Her voice trailed off.  She dared not hope that she would see Kagome again.

                "Miroku said that there's something strange in the air.  Whatever it is it's giving me the creeps." Shippou rubbed his arms again.

                "Well," Sango sighed as she pulled a small bag from behind her, "I guess it was a good idea to bring along some extra food…"

                The little kitsune almost cheered but slapped his small paw over his mouth upon realizing that Inu Yasha would probably hear his exclamation.  Instead, he grinned widely and enthusiastically took the food Sango offered. 

                "Kaede said that she felt something would happen to day.  I surveyed the perimeter around the village to make sure that something wouldn't be a youkai attack but found nothing." Sango continued.  "What do you think houshi-sama?"

                "I think you should endeavor to call me Miroku more often but that's a matter to be discussed in private." Miroku scolded lightly before shrugging, "It would seem that the very air around us is highly charged with energy.  I'm not sure what it means…"

                "I fear Inu Yasha's reaction should Kagome-chan come through the well.  He has not been of a most agreeable temperament nowadays.  I sometimes get the feeling he's hanging on by a thread."  Sango bit her lip in worry, "I do not wish to fight him.  Although he's rude and overbearing most of the time, I still consider him a friend.  If for some reason his youkai blood does take over, as it seems to be doing…."

                Miroku laid a hand on her shoulder.  He smiled inwardly upon seeing that she hadn't shaken his hand off or flinched.  "All that we can do now is wait and see…"

                Sango glanced at him and then back at Inu Yasha.  If this waiting is killing me, I can't imagine how Inu Yasha is feeling right now.

***

                The object of everyone's concern sat rigidly facing the Bone Eater's well as he had been doing for too many days to count.  Had anyone been allowed to come close enough to him, they would have noticed the dark shadows beneath his eyes marring his flawless complexion, his red rimmed and dulled amber eyes that stare lifeless and unfocused, and his red haori and hakama hanging lifeless from his thinning frame.  However stony and miserable he may have appeared while he continued his silent vigil close to the well, the group had learned as the days passed that it was best to leave him be because he became as feral and dangerous as a wild dog when even his closest companions ventured too close.   

He knew that his reactions were far too volatile and his own emotions were too unstable to communicate with anyone properly.  His human mentality had begun its retreat long ago, ridden with guilt and sorrow at Kagome's absence.  He was becoming a shell of his former self, driven by his demon emotions of fierce anger, hatred, and destruction.  It wouldn't take much to make the final string on sanity snap even with Tetsusaiga at his side and did not wish for his friends to be in harm's way if he did lose all control. Besides, Inu Yasha preferred solitude, wanting to sort his turbulent thoughts and brood in silence. 

Solitude…  That's a fucking joke… They act like I don't know they are watching me like I'm some fucking freak of nature. Why won't they leave me the hell alone?  It's like they want to see me snap.  They all use the excuse that they are worried about me but…  I know the truth.  They want to see me act like a fucking maniac… like an animal…  That's what they think I really am…

 

And why shouldn't they?  I bet Kagome thinks of me as less than a damn animal.  That's why she hasn't returned… or won't return.  Miroku, Sango, and Shippou should all hate me the way I hate myself right now.  I bet they do hate me and are plotting against me…

Inu Yasha wiped his clawed hand over his face in frustration.  He completely ignored the fact that his hand was crusted in dried blood from one his rage fits earlier that week.  Kami-sama…  Where are these damn thoughts coming from?  It's like I can't even control what's running through my head anymore.  One minute I'm a sulking mess and then the next I'm ready to tear someone's head off.  It gets worse by the day.  The longer I sit and wait, the more fractured my mind becomes.  I can't even sleep because the minute I close my eyes I have nightmares of Kagome.  Kagome…  I wonder where she is right now and why she hasn't returned.  It's been weeks since I last laid eyes on her… Not being able to see her and not knowing if she's okay is tearing me apart. I should go back and finish everything but I know that the gang want to say their goodbyes and there is no way in hell she'll want to go back with me after the way I treated her.  Besides, I hate to admit but I'm afraid of what she'll say or do… For all I know she might have sealed the well shut.  Everything is so frustrating… the fear… guilt… sadness… regret… and anger…  

               

                I have no one to blame for all this but myself…  Damn it…  Sometimes, I wish I never laid eyes on her.  I would still be pinned to the Goshinboku tree and unable to wreak havoc on her life or my own… 

                Inu Yasha lifted his amber eyes to heavens and sighed.  The once vibrant turquoise sky had already begun to darken to indigo, giving way to nightfall.  Pinks and purples still tinged the skyline as the sun slowly made its descent on the horizon.  The stars peeked shyly through the lengthening sheet of darkness.  The hanyou's sharp eyes narrowed as he watched this procession from day to night.

                How many days and nights have passed?  I can't even be sure because I stopped counting so long ago.  Everything is so blurred in my mind and I hate trying to figure it out because it only makes me angry and then…  I'll probably lose it again.  I don't think I can go on doing this.  I never felt this close to madness before, not when I am not in danger or half dead.  It must be the waiting… anticipating the moment when everything will end…  What if she never comes back?  Shit! The not knowing is driving me nuts.  I can't even function correctly.  How the hell am I supposed to defeat Naraku if all I can think about is that damn girl?

                His confusion dissipated almost rapidly into frustration.  Inu Yasha clenched and unclenched his sharp claws is his red haori as he tried to keep himself under control.   I shouldn't ever have let her in.  I shouldn't have fallen in love with her.  What a fucking baka I am.   I trusted another woman and now I am being led astray. My mission was supposed to be getting the damn Shikon no Tama so I could become a full youkai.  Things were simpler then… Back then that's all I cared about.  But now here I am…  I gave my heart to one woman and now I pledged my life to another.  How the hell did that happen?!  How the fuck did I go from relying on just myself to having people watch my every damn move day and night.  Why won't everyone just leave me alone!      

                Although the irate hanyou seemed to be staring intently up at the sky, he failed to notice that the last traces of daylight had escaped and left behind a thick sheet of night penetrated by diamond bright stars and the silvery light of the somber moon.  His was far too absorbed in his warring thoughts to notice any of his surroundings.  So in absorbed in fact, he missed the flare of magic emanating from the well.   

                However, the conflicted hanyou's friends did not miss that harbinger of Kagome's return through the well.  The group had already crept forward hours ago still downwind of Inu Yasha's keen senses.  Miroku had accurately guessed that his half-youkai friend would be far too distracted to take notice right away. 

                "Did you feel that?" Miroku whispered to his companions urgently.

                Shippou nodded but said nothing as he bit down on his bottom lip in nervousness.  Kagome is here… but what's going to happen when Inu Yasha finally notices that she's here.  He hasn't been himself lately and I'm scared he might do something bad to Kagome…. 

               Sango looked over at Miroku and both warriors nodded to each other.   A silent agreement was made between them; if they needed to defend Kagome from Inu Yasha, then so be it. 

                "Do you think this might turn ugly, houshi-sama?" Sango asked, trying to keep her voice level and calm as her hand reached for Hiraikotsu.

                Miroku shook his head in uncertainty as he replied, "Let's just hope it doesn't…"

                "Maybe we should go out there now…" Shippou whispered, yanking on Sango's kimono.

                "No… we can't interfere not unless we have to." Sango looked down at the worried kitsune beside her. 

                "But…" Shippou's voice quavered in fear as his gaze darted from Inu Yasha to the well.

                "I don't think he would do anything to harm Kagome." Miroku responded, trying his best to reassure the frightened kitsune.

                The fox child nodded jerkily acknowledging Miroku's attempt to pacify him but his little shoulders remained tense and ready to bravely leap into battle should Kagome need his help against the half crazed hanyou Inu Yasha may become.

**

                "I made it…" Kagome whispered as she peered up at the star speckled night sky visible from the bottom of the well.  The young miko's heart thundered in her ears and her palms were damp.  For the moment she stood frozen in fear at the bottom of the well, half wondering what would happen when she climbed to the top.  Will he be waiting there?  Will he be angry?  What do I say?

                Kagome's hands fisted in frustration at her hesitation as she whispered to herself, "You are not weak, Kagome.  Just get this over with and stop wasting time…"  After wiping her damp hands off on the skirt of her uniform, she adjusted her heavy book bag on her shoulders and carefully climbed up the wall of Bone Eater's well. 

                This is it…  The showdown…  No matter what Inu Yasha says to me…  I won't back down.  There is more at stake here than my heart.  

                The young girl felt the shards throb against her chest in encouragement.  She paused placing her free hand over her chest, took a deep breath and then kept her slow ascent to the top.  By the time her hand touched the lip of the Bone Eater's well, Kagome was winded and more than a little sweaty.  Hefting herself into a sitting position on the cobbled wall of the well, she wiped the perspiration from her forehead.  "I think I really overdid the packing this ti…."

                Kagome never got to finish her sentence for she was jerked from her sitting into the air.  She opened her mouth to scream in alarm but stopped short as she came face to face with a very irate hanyou with glowing red eyes. 

                Inu Yasha hadn't even thought of what he was doing.  The moment he saw Kagome exit the well he was at her side, ready to vent his worry, frustration, and confusion.  "Where the hell have you been?  Do you know how long I've been fucking waiting for you to get here?!  Oi bitch, aren't you going to speak?!  Say something damn it!"  He punctuated each growled word with a shake.

                Kagome barely heard a word he said due to his excessive shaking and the emotions pouring through her.  Her mind sent her reeling back to their last meeting, a moment in her life that had left her raw and heartbroken.  Every hurtful word he'd spoken rang through her head with the force of thunder and lightning aiming straight for her heart.  She could not see the present Inu Yasha's haggard expression nor she could she hear the obvious worry in his voice.  In his place there stood a hanyou with a face twisted in malice and amber eyes so cold that it froze her heart and shattered it to pieces.  Biting fury, sorrow, and hurt coursed through her veins wrapping around her heart in an act of self preservation, shielding herself from future harm at Inu Yasha's hands.

                "Release me…" Kagome spoke in an icy tone dripping with anger.

                Upon hearing her words, Inu Yasha stopped his tirade but his muddled mind did not fully comprehend the tone of her voice.  "What?"

                "I said let me go…"  Kagome bit out again.  She refused to struggle in his grasp although his nails were beginning to bite into her skin and his touch burned through to the core of her soul. 

                He sat her down abruptly, his eyes flickering and then fading back to there normal amber tone.  As the adrenaline rush subsided and the tide of his demon blood waned, Inu Yasha's mind began to grasp the situation but not fully.  Not until Kagome rudely tore herself from his loose grip, her eyes cold and angry as she leveled them upon his.

                "Worry not, Inu Yasha…" Kagome hissed angrily as she glared and took a step back to put some much needed distance between them, "This weak little girl didn't lose your damn Shikon shards…"

                Hearing his love's icy words, Inu Yasha had to quell the urge to grip his heart.  Having heard his own words tossed back in his face, sent shooting pains through him. I got what I wanted didn't I? Kagome definitely hates me now…  I've never seen her like this before…  Shaking his silver haired head to clear his thoughts, Inu Yasha once again assumed his role as the villain, "Well, give them to me and be on your way.  I've waited long enough."

                The young miko squared her shoulders, readying herself for battle.  You bastard…  I won't give you anything…  I gave you my heart and didn't know what to do with that either…  "No…"

                 "What the hell do you mean 'no'?  Don't make take those shards from you and throw your ass into the well…" Inu Yasha growled.  What the hell?  Leave it to Kagome to make this more complicated than it already is…

                "Who do you think you are?!  I hate to tell you this but my father died long ago.  You can't tell me what to do…" Kagome yelled her fist clenching at her sides.

                "Kagome…" he growled as he stepped menacingly in her direction.  Please Kagome… don't fight me now.  I'm doing this for you…  Don't make me say more things that I will regret.  I have enough laying heavily on my soul now…

                The young miko stepped back in fear and hated herself for it.  I won't let him intimidate me.  "If you come near me Inu Yasha I swear I will make you regret it.  If you try to send to me back to my time I will seal that well and you'll be stuck with me…."

                The hanyou ceased his movement, "What is your problem?  Don't tell me you want to stay here with me…  What?  Do you think I'll suddenly see you different or something?  You think I'll fall in love with you?  Well you got another thing coming…"

                Upon hearing his taunting words Kagome lost all composure, "The only reason I'm staying is because I have to.  You won't be able to finish this mission without me being here no matter what you do." 

                Inu Yasha tried to absorb this bit of information and reply but never got the chance as Kagome's angry words raked over him.

"You think I want your love, you bastard?    I DON'T WANT YOU NEAR ME!  I HATE YOU!"  Kagome yelled her voice raw and filled with rage.

Silence fell on the two opponents.  A strong wind blew about them, ruffling the silk of Kagome's obsidian locks and blowing Inu Yasha's thick silver hair off his shoulder.

Kagome stood in silence, her fist still balled at her sides and her chest heaved in anger.   I should feel bad because I could never really hate him….  I won't take those words back…  I refuse… not after the way he hurt me and it probably doesn't matter to him anyway…  He never loved me or even cared about me.

 Standing frozen in shock, Inu Yasha had no ready reply for Kagome.  I knew she would be angry and hurt.  I even knew that she would probably hate me too… but I never thought it would hurt this much to hear her say it…  Kami-sama it hurts….

The silence lengthened as the two star crossed lovers stood before each other.  The young miko and a confused hanyou… torn by the roles they were made to play and so lost in thoughts that they were unaware of their onlookers. 

Miroku, Shippou, and Sango sat in silence in the cover of night holding their breath in fear of what would happen next.  They did not have long to wait because Inu Yasha snapped out of his trance suddenly.  The inu hanyou took several steps back as the full impact of Kagome's words finally took root. 

Inu Yasha felt his insides twist and something inside him screamed that he take Kagome in his arms and shake those hateful words from her.  Torn between hurt, anger and several other emotions he dare not recognize as he stared into her coldly glaring eyes, he grappled for words to say.   Inwardly, he was trying to push the hurt down and cling to the anger that would make it easier to respond to her hateful words in kind but there was another emotion making its presence known and dominant within his soul, an emotion so primal it could only be attributed to the youkai blood that flowed through his body.  This urge saw Kagome's words, her rigid stance, and even the way she glared him straight in the eyes, unflinching and unafraid, as a challenge and should be answered as such.  It made his blood pound in his ears and his heart race at such an alarming rate that he was sure his youkai counterpart would surely burst free. 

Inu Yasha took another step back, frantically fighting his own emotions.  Anger and frustration flashed in his eyes as he finally growled tersely, "I don't give a fuck how you feel… and I don't give a damn what you do…."  With that bit of untrue information spoken with way more emotion than necessary, Inu Yasha blasted off into a full run past Kagome and into the forest all the while damning his emotions and the situation he was in.

Kagome visibly slumped when she was sure he was gone.  Her anger dissipated into nothingness and tears stung the backs of her eyes but she would not allow herself to cry. Well, it's official.  He can't stand me…  I wish that didn't have to be here…  She stiffened when she heard the bushes rustle. Alarm pricked her mind as she reached down to pick up a stone and tossed it in the direction of the noise.  An anguished cry sounded as the missile made contact with amazing accuracy.  Kagome bent down to pick up another rock.  Kami-sama, I don't have my arrows.  What am I going to do now?

Three occupants burst from the foliage before Kagome could launch another rock in their direction, one happened to be rubbing his black haired head and near tears.

Kagome dropped her 'weapon' and nearly ran to them, "Shippou! Sango! Miroku! " A shadow passed over her beautiful face when she finally reached them and she spoke with difficulty, "Gomen ne…"

Miroku rubbed his head and laughed, "There's no need to apologize for that.  We shouldn't have been lurking in the bushes anyway.  I would have chucked a rock too."

When Kagome looked up, the moonlight glinted off the sheen of unshed tears in her dark brown eyes.  Her expression of sorrow made her friends pause even Shippou who was the process of leaping into her arms and crying his joy for her return. 

"Kagome-chan…" Sango questioned walking toward the young woman.  Her progress was halted when Kagome held her hand up

"No…  I'm sorry…" Kagome began again, "I'm sorry for being a burden to you all.  I know how much strain I put on this group."

Miroku shook his head in denial, "What are you saying, Kagome-sama?"

Sango frowned sadly.  Does she think we share in Inu Yasha's views?

Shippou cried angrily, "That's not true!  You're important to us!"

Kagome slowly shook her head, 'There's no need to lie to me.  I know I can't fight and… I'm always in some kind of trouble.  I understand if you think I should turn back around and go home."

Sango's frown deepened.  Miroku placed a hand over Shippou's mouth.

"But if you'll let me…  I promise to do better.  If you'll teach me, I promise I will be the best student you'll ever have.  Sango… Miroku… Shippou…  In order for me to be useful to you guys…  You are going to have to help me…  I understand if you don't want to…"  Kagome tipped her head back rather than look at her friends.  She was trying unsuccessfully to blink back tears and their prolonged silence made the whole ordeal more difficult.  She jumped when she felt multiple arms surround her simultaneously.     

"Don't ever call yourself a burden again…" Sango whispered choked by her own emotions.  The taiji-ya held her closest friend as close as she could.

"I'm so glad your back. I didn't know what I was going to do without you!"  Shippou exclaimed nuzzling into her neck.

"We are here to help you, come what may.  You are important to us all, Kagome-sama…" Miroku smiled secretly content to have two women in his arms but knowing he shouldn't push his luck at a time like this.

Realizing that they hadn't wanted her to leave, Kagome choked back a sob.  "Arigato… Arigato my friends…"

Things will be difficult... but…  I will see it through…

Ah, nothing feels as good as getting another chapter done…  Sorry for taking so long.  I had an attack of sheer laziness and some other ideas whirling through my head for some other stories.  Watch out for my new story, Mystic Blue…  I'll probably have a chapter or two done for that before the end of October.  That is..  if the laziness monster doesn't attack…  or life doesn't get in the way…  you know how that is..  While I have the soapbox and the ire to comment on it…(ahem) Speaking of authors who need to do some posting… Darn it will somebody pester Ookami-chan, Saro, and Nozomi88 need to get some chapters up for me to read… Geez, I am sitting on pins and needles here… (sigh) Anyways…I won't even promise that I will get the next chapter up ASAP.  All I know is that it will be posted.  It's starting to get heavy and other characters will make their appearance, so you know there will be drama. And who doesn't love that ^_^.  Your input is always welcome and you know I appreciate the reviews so much.  Ja ne…

Megami no Akari…