"Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared believe that something inside of them was superior to circumstance…"

                                -Bruce Barton

                Amidst a clearing liberally scattered with leaves and forest debris, enshrouded in the shadow by tall, majestic trees, two figures were engaged in a graceful yet deadly dance.  They bobbed and weaved around each other, retreating and coming together.  One of the two figures, clad in a form-fitting suit of black and pink, never lost her momentum as she snapped several commands at her companion.  The other woman wore a dusty, gray karate uniform.  Her movements were graceful but reluctant and marred by uncertainty.  Her partner was well aware of this and did not hesitate to make it known. 

                "You're not being aggressive enough.  If I were your enemy, you'd be dead by now.  In a battle, you cannot second guess yourself because the enemy will surely will not…" Sango lectured with the stern voice of a general.  "There will come a time when all that you hold dear will be on the line…"

                Kagome did not reply but the stubborn set of her jaw and the determined gleam in her eye were proof enough that she heard and understood Sango's barked commands.  She ducked and dodged the taiji-ya's precise attacks.  Despite her best efforts to attack, she hesitated. 

                I just can't attack her… I know I'm supposed to pretend that she's the enemy but…  Sango is my best friend…  How can I…

                The would-be warrior's thoughts came to an abrupt halt as she landed on her back for the third time that day.  White spots danced before her eyes when her body made contact with the hard forest floor.    When her vision cleared, Kagome looked up to see Sango looming over hand outstretched to haul her off of the ground and a look of exasperation clearly visible on the older girl's face.

                "Gomen nasai…" Kagome began lamely as she brushed debris off of her rumpled and dusty training gear. 

                Sango held her hand to stem the tide of apologies that were rushing her way, "Kagome-chan, you can't keep doing this.  We've been training for weeks now and you still haven't learned to focus.  Aren't you getting tired of getting knocked silly?"

                The miko responded with a comical wince of pain as she rubbed her much abused backside, "Itai…"

                An amused grin replaced the stern frown on Sango's face.  With a resigned sigh, she placed a comforting hand on the shoulder of her reluctant student, "After we finish training, we'll take a long soak in the hot springs nearby, get a little bit of rest and then I'll send you off to deal with Miroku…  How does that sound?"

                "The hot springs sounds heavenly…  However, Miroku does not…" Kagome replied.

                Her friend's rejoinder was a bout of musical laughter that the younger girl could not resist joining.  Two weeks had past into the realm of memory since Kagome genuinely laughed.  Two weeks ago, she returned to Sengoku Jidai to confront Inu Yasha and complete a mission that had become the center of her universe for two years.  Only a week and a half ago, Inu Yasha returned to Kaede's village from some unknown location, a place Kagome had a sneaking suspicion also included Kikyo, and curtly reported that he caught wind of a rumor that a horde of demons were terrorizing a village in the far east and that they should set out immediately because it was surely another attempt of Naraku's to lure the mysterious and ever allusive priestess Kikyo out into the open (Manga Volume 33 Chapter 327).  The horrendous entity known as Naraku and his cohorts seemed to find in amusement in blazing a bloody trail of destruction and chaos that seemed endless and almost unstoppable.   The urgency to end his villainous reign almost bubbled over within Kagome and her companions.  A battle was imminent, this Kagome was sure of, but, when and where was another question since Naraku tended to be as elusive as the undead priestess he was preying upon.  His actions were far too mysterious and twisted to preempt and his lackeys were just as capricious.

  For now that looming threat seemed far away as she dealt with the constant source of angst that was Inu Yasha.  Since his return to the village, the hanyou's mannerisms were cold, detached and so unlike the hot blooded Inu Yasha they once knew that the majority of the group worried about him.  Kagome, however, begrudged his cold attitude, the way he would not acknowledge her presence, the way his amber eyes would look straight through her when he happened to lay eyes on her, and his total aversion to any area that she happened to be in.  She hated his behavior and she hated even more the way it made her feel.  Kagome could not stem the tide of hurt and sorrow that flowed through her despite the barrier she attempted to erect around her already bruised heart.  Her pride and determination would not allow the forlorn emotions to bubble to the surface.  Instead, she focused her energy on keeping busy and absorbing all that her three mentors, Kaede, Sango, and Miroku happened to impart to her.  Over the years Kaede, had taught Kagome all she knew of herb lore and the healing arts so there was not much more in that area of expertise that the old miko could teach her younger counterpart.  While Kaede was knowledgeable in the ways of the miko, she could not teach Kagome very much about spiritual powers for hers were very weak.  Because Miroku had been taught in the way of the Buddhist priest and actually was a very good one albeit a little perverted, Kagome looked to him to teach her how to delve into her latent powers.  Kagome understood that being Kikyo's reincarnation meant she held powers within her that were untapped due her inexperience and utter dependency on her friends.  Now more than ever, she knew that she must come into her own.  Duty weighed heavily upon her shoulders now and she was no longer just a schoolgirl.    

And now, she stood laughing despite being dusty, achy, and far more stressed than a regular teenager should be.  This miko-in-training was so caught up in her own mirth that she had not even realized her sparring partner had quieted and merely stood watching with the softest of smiles on her face. 

Kagome…  Against all odds you manage to find something to be happy about…  How do you do it?  How do you find light in the darkness?  How is it that you can make others see it as well?  Being here with you, seeing your determination, and the light of hope that never dims in your eyes, makes me want to believe that we will prevail… 

Kagome sighed and wiped her teary eyes.  She looked over at Sango who was staring at her with an odd expression and turned red, "You must think I'm a psycho now… I guess I'm getting a little hysterical or something…"

Her friend smiled and shook her head, "There nothing wrong with laughter.  Seeing you happy in times such as these means that there is still some hope for us all, or at least I tend to think so…" Sango clapped Kagome over the back and continued, "Well… it's time to get back to work.  You still have much to learn…"

Kagome grimaced and then suppressed a groan, "Do I have to?"

Sango glared half-heartedly at the girl while trying to suppress a giggle at Kagome's comically distressed expression, "Yes… we have to…  How will you learn otherwise?"

Kagome assumed her fighting stance and practice began again.  Both girls shuffled around each other, their eyes locked, trying to predict the other's move.  Sango wore an expression of ease and she moved with smooth, lethal grace that had been ingrained in her since she was a child.  Kagome was the complete opposite.  She was visibly wary and tense, as if she was waiting for the moment Sango would strike and place her on her back. 

Sensing her discomfort, the seasoned taiji-ya decided to switch up her tactics, "We are going to play little game…"

"Game?" Kagome echoed, her brow furrowing slightly in confusion. 

"Yes… it's a rather simple one…"

They shuffled about each other again.

"It's a mind game.  I'm going to exercise your mind as well as your body today…"

Kagome only nodded, not knowing what else to do.  I haven't the slightest idea of what Sango's talking about…

"It's obvious that you're having some problems seeing me as an enemy so I wish to remedy that.   I am going to say a name and I want you to imagine, if you can, that I am whomever it is I say.  You think you can do that?"

Kagome answered hesitantly, "I guess so…"

"You think you could sound a little more enthusiastic when you answer…" Sango replied sarcastically.

"Ok, ok… No need to get snippy.  I will do the best I can…" Kagome retorted.

"Finally…" Sango muttered to herself and then turned her attention back to her pupil, "Now…  I want you to imagine that I am…  Naraku…"

Kagome's brown eyes narrowed as she tried to envision that her best friend was her ultimate enemy. 

"Imagine that it's the final battle and the world rest in your hands…  It's a life or death battle Kagome… and you'll have to choose…" Sango continued.

The young miko's mind was flooded with images of a desolate battlefield covered in blood and scattered bodies.  Fear welled up within her and then anger.  Standing before her was no longer the brave taiji-ya she knew and respected.  In her place was a fiend who had tortured and twisted the lives of many.  He smiled fiendishly and taunted her with his very presence.  

"What will you do Kagome?"

She knew that it should be Sango's voice but instead she heard Naraku's deep, eerie voice, liberally laced with malice.  She hated his voice.  She hated everything about him and the pain and anguish he caused all he encountered.  She wanted to hurt him, hurt him the way he's hurt so many of his unsuspecting victims.  She threw a punch, wanting to wipe that ugly smirk off of his face.  He moved quickly, dodging her blow and countering with one of his own. 

                "Is that the best you can do?"

                Kagome leapt back, barely missing the well aimed kick.  Without warning, she was overwhelmed by a barrage of kicks and punches that had her leaping and blocking.  Sango taught her to utilize the gymnastic training she received in her early years of middle school before her sudden bouts of "illnesses" and now more than ever, Kagome was grateful.  Besides, years of being thrown about, running, and jumping out of the way of danger, had increased her dexterity            tenfold.  However, no matter how hard she tried, she could never do more than defend.

                "You're not putting enough power behind your attacks.  How do you expect to win a battle if you always defending?"

                "I'm doing the best I can…" Kagome yelled in frustration, trying once more to attack the phantom Naraku.

                Sango noticed her partner's agitation and decided it was time to pull out the big guns, "Well…  Forget Naraku for the moment…  Imagine that I am…  Inu Yasha…"

                Inu Yasha…

Inu Yasha…

The name echoed and bounced through Kagome's mind with alarming speed.  Naraku's image began to slowly melt away even as he continued to attack and was replaced by that of hanyou with piercing amber eyes and cocky grin that begged to be slapped. 

Sango saw the young girl's expression shift from mere agitation to something so frightening she could have sworn that Kagome had become possessed.  Sango knew from the moment the name slipped off her lips that she might have made a mistake.  She saw the unrestrained fire of anger blazing in her friend's narrowed brown eyes and almost faltered.  The experienced taiji-ya soon found herself the subject of a ferocious assault.  Kagome lost all hesitation and moved with a grace born of anger and the need to pummel her antagonist to dust.  Sango found herself in awe of the young girl.

Kagome was running on autopilot, allowing the anger and hurt that she experienced over the weeks to rule her movements.  She felt neither fear nor indecision.  She refused to be bested again, not by one such as Inu Yasha. 

"Why so angry Kagome?  Why don't you just give up and go home?" the hanyou sneered as one of his punches grazed her shoulder. 

Kagome clenched her teeth but was not deterred in the least.  Instead, she dodged another punch and countered with a kick aimed at his midsection.  He leaped over it and she only had a split second to recover before he attempted bowl her over as he landed. 

"Do you think all this training is going to make you better, wench?  You'll never be better than Kikyo…"

Kagome was not sure if the phantom Inu Yasha actually said that or if it was her own subconscious speaking but it did not matter.  "I don't want be Kikyo!  I'm Kagome!  Say it damn it!"

"Ka…!" Kagome jumped and then rolled out of the way of another swipe.

"Go…!" She bounded to her feet and ran full force at her attacker.

"Me…!"  The young miko feinted as she were going to attempt a kick and then dropped to the ground, sweeping her attacker's legs out from under him. 

Kagome blasted to her feet once more, her chest heaving, and her lips ready to pour a fiery tirade over Inu Yasha's head when she realized that it was Sango she brought down, not the former.  She froze and several apologies began to form as she looked down at a very stunned taiji-ya. 

Reaching out a dirty hand, she hauled her friend to her feet and tried to explain, "Gomen nasai, Sango!!!  I didn't mean to…  I mean…  I'm so…"

Sango nonchalantly wiped away the dirt on her pink and black garb as she spoke, "I don't know who I should feel sorrier for…  Naraku or Inu Yasha…" Then she looked up Kagome with amused brown eyes, "It's a shame that you fight so much better when you're angry…"

"I…" Kagome blushed profusely.

"I want you tap into that more often, you know.  Not the anger… anger will only blind you in battle.  You have potential if you just reach for it.  I've never witnessed you move like that until today.  I want to see more effort coming out of you from now on.  I will accept nothing less." Sango lectured sternly and then smiled, "Kami-sama, you shocked me.  I thought you were going to attempt to rip me apart…"

"I wouldn't have done that…" Kagome mumbled.

"Right…  What say now and what you did a moment ago are definitely at odds with each other." Sango teased, "I thank the gods I'm not Inu Yasha…  Anyways, I think we've had enough for today.  I'm tired and I bet you are too."

"On to the hot springs." Kagome chimed in, more than ready to soak her weary muscles and wash away the grime and sweat that accumulated on her body.

The sun was setting when they arrived at camp to find Inu Yasha and Miroku talking quietly by a fire.  The kitsune child, Shippou, sat beside Kirara toying with some oak leaves he collected along the way.  Sango felt Kagome, who had been chatting energetically, tense and grow silent.  It seemed that the very air crackled with the intensity of some emotion Sango dared not name. 

Inu Yasha's amber eyes never left the fire but he tensed slightly, the fire cast an eerie flickering glow on his features.  Miroku directed his violet-eyed gaze toward the two approaching women he held dear to his heart.  The Buddhist monk smiled weakly and opened his mouth to say something he hoped would dissipate some of the overwhelming, uncomfortable air that settled over the camp but Shippou beat him to the punch.

"Kagome!!!" Shippou shouted as he vaulted himself headlong into the arms of his beloved miko.  "I missed you!  You and Sango have been gone all day.  I was so bored and Miroku and him…" The young fox child rolled his leaf green eyes at the silver haired hanyou of which he was speaking, "They just sat around all day talking.  They wouldn't even let me join in."

Kagome gave Shippou a lopsided grin, meant to hide the initial wince she'd made as Shippou's small body impacted with her bruised frame.  She ran her fingers over his shiny locks and sighed, "Next time I train, I'll take you with me."

Shippou's pout disappeared and his eyes sparkled in excitement, "Really?  You mean it?"

Kagome smiled genuinely at the kitsune's youthful exuberance, "I promise."

Shippou whooped loudly and then his nose wrinkled, "Smells like I mean… seems like you did enough training for one day."

The young miko laughed, even as she put the young boy down, "I think you're quite right even though it's rude to comment on a lady's errr… ummm…  natural smell.  I've been training a lot haven't I?"

Sango smiled, "Yes, it's true.  You should have seen Kagome, houshi-sama.  She was in rare form."

Inu Yasha snorted at this, "Keh…"

Miroku had to quell the urge to whack his disgruntled friend over the head with his staff.  Instead he directed all his comments to the two young girls, "Oh is that so?  I would like to sit in on one of your training sessions one day.  I must see Kagome's acquired skills for myself."

"Well, you might get to see them sooner.  I am sure the path we are traveling will get far more treacherous as we get closer to our destination." Kagome replied seriously, "Miroku, if it's alright with you, I'd like to train tonight…  If you have time…"

"Sure Kagome-sama…  I'd like nothing more than to spend an evening in your company." Miroku rejoined evenly.

Kagome sputtered and grew red with embarrassment. 

Sango's eyes narrowed and she reached to clout the monk over his head. Miroku waved his hands before him in an effort to ward off the taiji-ya's threatening advances.  But they all paused when Inu Yasha bit out an irritated remark.

"Why bother…" Inu Yasha rose as he spoke.

Kagome's head snapped in his direction in shock and she frowned. It was the first time he'd addressed any comment to her in days and his tone was none too gentle.  "Nani?"

Inu Yasha's eyes flashed as he growled, "I said why should you bother?"

Kagome paled at his tone and she searched for words with which to reply but came up short.

"Do you think you really are going to learn anything after all this time?" his words were as sharp and painful as his claws.

"I am learning…" Kagome replied a bit lamely, but she decided she would not back down this time.  If I let him run over me this time, he'll continue to do it until he's run me flat over.  I knew things would be this way…. 

"Keh…  If you really wanted to learn bitch… you would have tried to do something about it a long time ago.  You're just fooling yourself.  You're not proving a damn thing, you know that."

"Inu Yasha, stop it right now…" Sango demanded angrily. 

Shippou bristled as he yelled, "You're being a real bastard!  Leave Kagome alone…"

Miroku looked on in silence.  Inwardly, he sighed.  Inu Yasha is such a fool to think he can deter Kagome-sama from staying.  His words will only steel her resolve to stay.

Inu Yasha raked his amber eyes over all of them, "You know its true!!!  All of you know it!  When the final battle comes, she'll be the one to get in the way…  She always does…"

Sango and Shippou indignant words poured forth, interrupting the calm of the forest. 

"You really are a baka…  I can't believe you would talk so badly of Kagome-chan after all she's done for us." Sango snapped.

"He's such a jerk…" Shippou cried.

"You're just being biased.  Can't you see?  She's weak and useless.  She'll be the end of it all…" Inu Yasha yelled.

Sango and Shippou opened their mouths to set the silver haired hanyou's ear to ringing but were interrupted by Kagome's quiet yet steel laced command.

"Sango…  Shippou… Please don't defend me.  He's right you know.  People have been fighting for me for so long; I didn't get the chance to depend on my own strength."  Kagome smiled softly at them and then turned her icy-cold gaze on Inu Yasha.  "I'll never know what it is about me that made you hate me…  Unfortunately, circumstances require that I force my presence on you, knowing how much I offend you.  There's nothing I can do to stop it though.  No matter how weak and useless you think I am I have to be here.  Don't worry, as soon as it's over, you'll never have to see my face again."

Inu Yasha blinked momentarily, taken aback by her cold words. He growled in irritation at having lost his momentum, "You don't belong here.  You don't even have to be here.  I highly suggest you take your ass to the well and hop in it.  Do us all a favor.  That way this mission will get completed much faster.  I don't need you straggling along.  I don't need you to come crying to me when some demon comes and beats the shit out of you.  If you think I'm going to help you got another thing coming…."

Kagome's control snapped at Inu Yasha's insinuation that she would come crawling to him for anything, "Sit!!!!  You… You lowlife bastard… You baka… you lowborn ass…  Here you stand in front of me carrying on about what you don't need.  You know what I don't need? I don't need you!!! I don't need anything from you!  I especially don't need any more of you rude, obnoxious comments!"

Sango, Miroku, Shippou, and even Kirara cowered away from a very scary, furious Kagome.  Inu Yasha would have done the same if his face weren't kissing dirt and his ears ringing from Kagome's angry tirade. 

Kagome decided to quit the camp and get as far away from Inu Yasha as possible before she gave into the temptation to sit him into oblivion.  She gathered her supplies forcefully and stomped off in the direction of the hot springs.  "You know were to find me…" she bit out as she passed Sango.

The taiji-ya soon followed after her with Shippou trailing not far behind. 

Miroku stood beside his hanyou friend and plucked a leaf from his silver mane, "You were better off giving her the silent treatment.  At least you came out unscathed…"

Inu Yasha groaned, "Shut the hell up bouzu…  Kami-sama my back hurts…   I thought I would never hear her say that word again…."

Miroku sat down and crossed his legs, "It wasn't anything you didn't deserve, you know…"

The inu hanyou slowly pushed himself into a sitting position, "I thought I told you to shut up…"

"It seems that you need to do more practicing of what you preach." Miroku replied evenly, even as he whacked his Buddhist staff over Inu Yasha's head. 

His companion yelped and clutched his abused head, "What the hell did you go and do that for?"

"That is for working up Kagome-sama.  It will be difficult to make her focus when we train tonight.  Thoughts of killing hanyous are not at all peaceful." 

"Ah… geez.  Bite me, bouzu.  I don't have the patience for your hypocritical spiritual talk." Inu Yasha muttered distastefully.

I wonder if I hit him over the head again will it cause any damage to this staff I carry, Miroku thought as he inspected the tall slender cane.  "She really is powerful, you know.  I was blessed to see a glimpse of the depth of her true power in our last session together.  Miko energy was rolling off her in waves and the air was sparkling with it.  Quite amazing, if I must say so yourself…"

"Keh…"

The monk frowned, "Why don't you just let things be?  Maybe she'll decide to go back home permanently on her own."

"Yeah right…"

"Regardless, she believes she actually has some reason to be here.  I hate to say it but, I don't think her reasons include you.  She seems to have a growing aversion to you." Miroku continued nonchalantly. 

Inu Yasha did not honor that last statement from the Buddhist monk with a reply.  He decided to brood in silence. 

"So what harm can it do to keep her around?  She's determined to see this through and I admire that.  I am sure she'll endeavor to stay out of your way from here on out." Miroku continued, determined to force a conversation out of his hanyou friend. 

"You know as well as I do that no matter how powerful she may be, Kagome doesn't have enough experience.  She hasn't had the opportunity to truly fend for herself and now is not the time to start learning especially with times as they are now.  The final battle is getting closer, I can feel it.  Naraku is much stronger and even with the new techniques* I have, I am not sure we'll be able to beat him.  It's almost like he's invincible. Besides that, I…"

Miroku sat in silence.  I know there is something he needs to get off his chest and if I just let him keep talking it will come out eventually.

Inu Yasha took a deep breath and released it, "I don't think she'll be safe…"

"Well, we are putting ourselves at risk in this fight.  Kagome's aware of that.  She knows the danger that lies ahead." Miroku countered.

The half demon looked down at the ground and began to pluck at an errant blade of grass, "Not all of it…"

"What…?"

 "I…" he faltered and then glared at Miroku, "It's none of your business…"

Miroku returned his glare with one of his own, "If this is something that may affect Kagome's health it is my business.  It's all of our business, we are a team…"

The houshi's words hung heavily in the air and it seemed nearly a lifetime before Inu Yasha replied. 

"Since the day I decided that Kagome is better off at home, a lot of things have been happening to me…" Inu Yasha began quietly.  "I know that's what is best and I wish things were not so difficult.  The more she fights me the more difficult it becomes…"

Miroku tensed at the sound of his friend's voice.  Inu Yasha's voice was raw and filled with a mixture of anger, disgust, and frustration. 

"Now more than I ever, I need her to be gone…  Ever since the day, we returned to the village and Kagome wasn't there…  No, it was before that…  It began the day my youkai blood took over…  I've felt things and thought things that…  It's like I can't really control my own thoughts anymore…"

"I thought Tetsusaiga keeps your demon blood at bay?" Miroku asked, realizing what Inu Yasha was trying to say.

The inu hanyou gripped the sword he inherited from his father and grimaced, "It is supposed to… At least, I thought it would…"  He heaved a painful sigh and continued, "Tetsusaiga is designed to hold back my youkai blood with the assistance of my human blood.  It should hold as long as my power never surpasses that of my father…"

 "Well, why didn't you transform after you defeated Ryuukossei (Manga Volume 20 Chapter 189).  Your father did die trying to defeat him after all."

"I only succeeded in balancing my strength with my father's, hence making Tetsusaiga useable.  Since then, I've become much stronger but…  I've been keeping Tetsusaiga strong as well if I hadn't gained the skill to use Bakuryuuha (Manga Volume 20 Chapter 192) and now Kongousouhua (Manga 33 Chapter 325) I probably would be on a rampage now."

"So..."

"Ugghhh… bouzu…  I'm getting to that…" Inu Yasha growled in frustration, "Do you remember when we returned to the village and Kagome wasn't there?  Do you remember the condition I was in?"

"Yes, we had to stay out of your way…" Miroku spoke gravely.

"Yes, my mentality was a little splintered.  I couldn't even put a thought together correctly.  I was filled with such anger and even after I calmed, my thoughts were just not right.  They weren't my own.  It was like something was taking over me, telling me things that weren't true.  I couldn't force them out of my head…"  Inu Yasha gripped Tetsusaiga tighter, "When Kagome came through that well, I didn't even think.  I just reacted…  I wasn't even sure of my own actions.  I gathered my wits enough to escape before any real damage could have been done."

"Yes, you did seem in quite a hurry. Where did you end up going?  Did you find Kikyo? You were gone for quite a few days." Miroku bawdily implied, trying to lighten the atmosphere.

"You really are a pervert, you know that!  Why is it that everyone thinks I run off with Kikyo?  Can't I have a little time to myself!?" Inu Yasha nearly roared.

"Calm down Inu Yasha. I was merely joking…" Miroku sighed.

"Whatever…" the half youkai grumbled and then continued, "Anyways, I ended up running into Totousai…  He started bitching and moaning about how I treated Tetsusaiga, as usual.  I had to pommel him a bit to shut him up and then I asked what the hell was wrong with me."

***

"You depend way too much on the power of Tetsusaiga to subdue the youkai blood within…" Totousai muttered dispassionately as he nursed a growing lump on his balding skull.

"What the hell does that mean?  You're the one who told me keep Tetsusaiga around…" Inu Yasha growled angrily and poised his clawed fist to take another swipe at the old sword master.


"When your youkai blood first awakened, it was imperative that your father's sword be in your presence at all times.  At that time, you had no experience in dealing with the youkai blood that you taiyoukai father passed down to you.  I had hope that you try to harness that power and control it.  Instead, your human blood has become entirely dependent up that sword's power."

"Why the hell didn't you tell me all that!" Inu Yasha yelled as he shook the old man for emphasis.

"Oh the woes of the weary…" Totousai looked heavenward, "Inutaisho never had a problem using his own brain.  It's a wonder you're his pup at all."

"Don't test me old man…" Inu Yasha ground out as his eyes flashed red, "or you'll get to see first hand how much of my father runs through my veins…"

The master sword maker waved off this threat nonchalantly, "Oh will you calm down…  Getting worked up for nothing…  Now what were we talking about…"

***

 "It would seem that whenever my thoughts become conflicted, my human blood weakens and the youkai blood dominates." Inu Yasha said.  "After some more convincing, Totousai gave me a kind of solution.  I have to learn how to control the blood within me… or else…  Who knows what'll happen."

"Well, how are you going to go about doing that and why are you so conflicted in the first place?"

"I guess you could say that my decision to make Kagome go back to her own time can be the root of some confusion.  It's not easy for me, you know.  For selfish reasons, I want her to stay… the more she's around the more attached I become and then when it comes time I am not sure I will be able to fulfill my promise to Kikyo.  Besides that, I know that Kagome deserves much more than I can offer her but I still want…  I shouldn't though…  I should want what's best for her.  She needs to be where she belongs…  Guilt, anger, frustration, and many more emotions I don't even want to talk about boil inside me every time I think about this…  What makes it worse is that… my youkai blood has already made its decision about Kagome as well…"

"What I don't understand..?"  Miroku questioned, confused and overwhelmed by the deluge of information being pushed his way.

"After a certain age, full blooded inu youkai are forced by circumstance and environment to take mates.  Inu youkai mate for life it seems…  Once a male inu youkai finds a compatible mate, it is his job to protect and provide for her until she accepts the bond.  Because Kikyo could not accept me as a hanyou, my youkai blood did not recognize her as my mate but Kagome...  In essence, she fully accepted my protection and me in whatever form…"

"So your youkai blood sees her as your mate..." Miroku replied in astonishment.

"Yes… but because I am trying to separate myself from her my youkai blood is in a state of unrest, which could prove dangerous to her.  I don't know how to control it yet and it may try to claim her by force…  I may be guilty of many things but never that…  I'm afraid of what of I might be capable of now."   

"Well…" Miroku was at a loss for words, a condition he'd experienced more and more of late.

"I'm no good for her…  I'm a hanyou… and I promised my life to another.  What good can come of that?  And she hates me…  The very idea of me losing myself so much that I would force myself upon her scares me to death." Inu Yasha grimaced, "Every time I disappear, its because I have to be far away from her and all of you guys.  Totousai told me I have to tap into my demon counterpart and learn to control it but so far I've only succeeded in destroying the area around me in my blind rage.  It's really hard to focus when I'm like that."

"Maybe you should clear your head beforehand…"

"How can I?  There are so many things weighing on my shoulders now…  I can't help but to think of it.  Naraku's still out there and Kikyo is still in danger.  Almost everyday a new threat comes to take our lives.  How can I just relax?" he snapped at the monk.

"Frankly, you have no choice." The monk replied blandly.

Inu Yasha's tense shoulders slumped, "I know…  It's just that I'm afraid of myself.  I don't know what my demon half is really capable of and afraid that I might lose it.  The thought of hurting Kagome is driving me nuts…  Kagome is…"

"Stronger than you know…" Miroku interjected smoothly.  "You should give her more credit.  Besides, if you get too out of hand there is always the necklace."

"Yeah, there is that…" Inu Yasha fingered the beaded necklace that had become as familiar to him over the years as his haori.  He stood and stretched his lithe frame, "I think I better go check the perimeter of the camp and then…  Get as far away from you guys as I can until morning."

"When you say the perimeter of the camp, that wouldn't happen to include the hot spring would it?  In that case, I think I shall help you search." Miroku smiled.

"Not a chance, you little bastard.  If you start snooping around, I'll know it and then I'll come after you, half demon or not…" Inu Yasha growled his warning and blood red seeped into his normally amber eyes.

"Quit you're growling.  Gods, you are so selfish.  I know for a fact you probably peek in on the girls." Miroku nearly whined.

Inu Yasha turned away quickly before his monk companion could see his guilty blush, "Get a hobby, bouzu."

"I have one.  You just won't let me indulge." Miroku replied to his retreating back.  Once left alone, he sighed and resigned himself to wait until the girls returned from the hot spring so that Kagome's lessons could begin.  Then he reached into the folds of his purple and black robe and pulled out a deck of cards that Kagome had given him and taught him to use.  He shuffled deftly and laid the cards on the ground.  "Ahhh, solitaire…  That's a game I know better than anything else…" 

***

I know… I know… I'm way over due for another installment.  Life does have an annoying tendency to get in the way.  I promise to get another chapter up and running very soon. I just edited this chapter a bit and I'm working on the next installment tentatively titled, Dances with Wolves, right now.  I thank you for your reviews and patience.  You motivate me to keep writing. 

Sincerely

Megami no Hikari