So it has begun... a new chapter at last. I believe that from here on out things will not be moving as slowly. Enemies will rear their ugly heads and rivals will make the lives of our favorite Inu Yasha characters more difficult than it already is. Thank you so much to my readers who stuck it out with me and stayed patient while I went through the trials and tribulations that is life.
Well here we go…
Megami no Hikari
Breathe deep…
In a minute, sun speckled clearing beneath the quiet refuge of cherry blossom tree, a young woman dressed in the clothes of a warrior sat still and silent. Her sable lashes fluttered slightly against her lightly tanned cheeks and her usually smooth brow furrowed with concentration.
Let the world slide away and just breathe...
Her bosom rose and fell in steady rhythm. Around her sakura blossoms fall and swirl in a light yet persistent breeze. Some of the errant fragile petals leave their graceful dance on the wind to rest in stark relief on her dark, thick black tresses. The mild breeze continues to swirl about her, disturbing her hair and tangling the blossoms further into it, yet she remains still. Her small hands lay palm up on bent knees, hands that were once smooth and soft; hands that are now strong and calloused from frequent use of her bow.
Find the strength that lies within…
A soft sheen of sweat beads upon her brow as the mild breeze began to pick up force, causing a whirlwind of pink and white petals to move about her. Had there been a witness to this feat, they would have stood in awe of this display. Sitting amongst the storm of sakura blossoms, the young woman almost appears to be a fanciful deity or some woodland nymph.
Focus on that energy and just breathe deep…
Globes of iridescent light materialize in the air and begin an intricate dance of whirling, swirling revelry. These manifestations of the intense energy emanating from the diminutive woman child accompany the petal-laden breeze, pulsing periodically. The radiance of her power exudes from her body and grows stronger by the second. Yet, she is not even aware of her own doings. She is only attentive to that which lies within her own mind, a mind with thoughts that currently mimic the abnormal activity going on outside her body. Her lashes flutter again and again as she attempts to climb through the tangled webs of her thoughts and find peace within the chaos that is her mind.
Focus…
The wind evolves into a maelstrom of petals and flickering globes of light. The young woman's open hands become fists as images of the days past flash before her with crystal clarity. A bloodstained and gutted village lay wasted in a blackened valley. It is a true horror to all who would witness it as the grisly remains of villagers and livestock retell a bloody tale of wretchedness. Another image flashes before her, a young man with golden eyes and hair of silver white. His smooth, pale face is twisted in malice and disgust and his mouth moves as if shouting some sharp command. Red slashes across his image and is replaced with that of him walking away.
Focus... Get past the negativity…
The wind begins to settle and the whirling globes hang in the air. Gone is the rhythmic pulsing within their nearly celestial bodies, instead they flicker sporadically like fireflies. The young girl attempts to draw another deep, calming breath but all she manages is harsh and choppy gasps. A bead of sweat trickles down her temple to fall off the stubborn point of her chin. Her fists tighten and her full bottom lip finds itself imprisoned between her white teeth as she is assaulted by another disturbing image.
Breathe…
A cloud of black began to materialize and take shape. The face of a man becomes evident in its sinister presence, a face that the unknowing might consider handsome yet sickly pale. Eyes of blood red stand in sharp contrast to his ghostly white visage and his thin lips are twisted in an ever-present smile of sheer cruelty. His body begins to take shape and the unstructured black cloud dissipates to reveal a grotesque vision of muscle and spiked exoskeleton clad in black. His long fingers grip a jewel of darkness that pulsates almost convulsively with power and evil. It slowly begins to melt, mutating until it resembles a pulsing bloody heart.
No…
The young woman's eyes snap open to reveal dark brown eyes wide with alarm. The globes of light fade back into thin air from whence they were summoned and petals drift lazily to the ground about her. In complete contrast to the visual calm of her surroundings, the young woman is frazzled and her breathing is harsh and ragged as she wipes her hand across her damp forehead. Not a second after her awakening, a young fox demon burst into the clearing.
"Kagome!" Shippou cried as he launched himself into her arms.
She caught him on reflex and clutched him to her bosom in an effort to come to grips with her reality. The disturbing images she unearthed in her mind fade back into her subconscious slowly as she stared into the wide leaf green eyes of her beloved companion and friend. "Shippou-chan…" She began shakily in a voice liberally laced with relief.
The fox child searched Kagome's face with eyes far older that his years. "Are you okay, Kagome? I know I'm not supposed to disturb you while you're meditating but Inu Yasha is being a real jerk and Sango and Miroku are talking. They've been talking all day… all quiet and secretive…"
Kagome frowned at the mention of Inu Yasha and her eyes became unfocused as she recounted in her mind the events of the past week. The group discovered the village of Kito; a place they heard had been plagued with problems and demons, decimated and bloodied. They searched the town, burying the remains of villagers and scouting desperately for some clue or sign of life. However they found nothing. Not even Inu Yasha's strong sense of smell could discern the perpetrators even though everyone knew that it was likely some ploy of Naraku's. Tensions were at an all time high and silence had fallen thick on all especially Kagome. She made a conscious effort to avoid Inu Yasha but his amber glare was almost tangible when it fell upon her. It was unnerving and made her bristle in anger for such a glare usually would be accompanied by some taunt or ignorant comment towards Kagome.
That bastard… He's being such an asshole and making it known to the world that he doesn't want to be near me. I don't get it… What did I do to him? Isn't it stressful enough that we can't find Naraku? It's been months since we last encountered him and it seems that monster is always one step ahead. We're running in circles now and I'm not even sure anymore why I'm supposed to be here.
Shippou tapped lightly on Kagome's forehead with his small, clawed fingers, "Earth to Kagome… Where did you go?"
The young woman blinked then grinned sheepishly, "Gomen ne, Shippou-chan. I didn't mean to space out on you. I just have a lot on my mind right now."
The kitsune child nodded and then laid his head on her bosom, "I can see how you could. Stupid Inu Yasha is being pretty hard on you for no reason at all. He's just mad because he's useless and you're getting more powerful by the day. It's not fair that he's taking all of his frustration out on you."
"I know Shippou… but what can we do?" Kagome sighed as she stroked his auburn locks.
"If I were bigger, I would tear him to shreds." Shippou growled and flexed his diminutive claws.
Kagome chuckled in response to his aggressive display, "There's no need to rush into growing up. Besides, I noticed that you've been getting much stronger and faster than when I first met you… I think you might even be taller…"
"Really?" he stood back from her and asked dubiously. "It seems like I'm going to be this size forever."
"No it's true, Shippou. Well, at least I think it is. If anything else, you most definitely are getting heavier. Maybe you should lay off the sweets…" Kagome giggled as she playfully mussed his locks and then stood.
"Hey! I'm not getting fat. It's all muscle!" the fox child cried and puffed up in indignation.
Kagome's musical laughter at Shippou's antics rang through the small clearing.
"Interrupting Kagome's meditation time again, Shippou?" Miroku's voice cut through the laughter, interrupting the pair's revelry.
The startled miko turned swiftly to find Miroku only a foot away. She opened her mouth to defend Shippou but the fox youkai was way ahead of her.
"Kagome just finished her meditating or whatever… Besides, I was bored and everyone was off doing something or other. What is a kid to do?"
"Perhaps it would be a good idea for you to meditate as well," the monk answered smoothly but amusement glinted in his violet eyes.
"Humph…" was Shippou's only reply as he turned and left the clearing in hopes of finding Kirara.
"Oh, the tempestuousness of youth…" Miroku sighed and then smiled at Kagome, "How are you feeling? You seem a bit on the pale side. You've been that way since we arrived in this area…"
"I… I'm fine…" she replied unconvincingly.
Miroku shook his head and chastised her lightly, "You aren't a good liar, you know?"
Kagome laughed halfheartedly and then sighed, "It's the visions… I've been having them off and on since we arrived in Kito… It makes it hard to concentrate with all these thoughts clamoring through my head. Whenever I try to get around them, I get clobbered instead. I… I don't know if I'm cut out to do this stuff…"
Her monk companion of two years totally disregarded her self-deprecating comments as he spoke, "Visions? Are they the same ones you had when we arrived here?"
"No... The last time I saw the village getting destroyed or at least I think it was Kito. I couldn't tell who was doing it but I just know deep down inside it was Naraku or maybe Hakudoushi. But why? Every time Naraku strikes, there is usually some ulterior motive for it. I can't figure it out at all and since he can now erase his youki (Manga Volume 34, Chapter 337) it makes it even harder to pinpoint him."
"Perhaps there may be some clue in the constant visions you've been having…" Miroku suggested as he sank down onto ground beneath the shelter of the sakura tree's shade.
"I don't know… I feel this sense of urgency nowadays. It's like we're running out of time… In my last vision Naraku had the whole Shikon no Tama in his possession and it was so polluted with evil…" Kagome shuddered and placed her slim hand over the place where the meager shards her team still possessed lay. "I know that I need to get stronger but I'm not sure of the role I really play in the big scheme of things. What is it that I can do that Kikyo could not? Aren't I just a copy of her? It's so hard to concentrate with everything that is happening now…"
Miroku patted her on the shoulder lightly, "I know how hard it must be for you in these troubled times…"
Kagome sighed and looked off into the distance as her thoughts overcame her. Should I tell Miroku that Midoriko came to me? Would he believe? Why do I feel like this is something I should keep to myself…? Should I? Kagome's thoughts stopped abruptly and she stiffened. "Would you mind moving your hand before I break it off Miroku?"
The monk chuckled sheepishly as he removed his hand quickly from her rear, "Heh… old habits… old habits…"
Kagome sniffed in disdain, "Well, if you want to live to see another day I suggest you keep those old habits to yourself… I mean really…"
"Well... it seems Sango is doing a grand job of toughening you up." Miroku remarked lightly and then cleared his throat as Kagome's glared threateningly at him, "Anyways, I believe that we are hot on Naraku's trail. Kito could not have been attacked more than a couple of days ago."
Kagome grew silent again and lifted her hand to catch a fallen petal. The errant blossom landed gracefully into her cupped palm. After staring a bit absently at the delicate flower petal, she closed her slim fingered hand around it. A minute of pregnant silence passed before the young miko sighed and spoke, "I must go home again… Is there anyway to do it without Inu Yasha's notice?"
"I highly doubt your absence would go unnoticed by him…" the monk sighed gravely.
Kagome's shoulders slumped as she mumbled, "He'll probably dance a jig."
"Jig..?" Miroku questioned.
The young girl shook her head in response, "It's just a dance or something. Anyways, I have a test to take and notes to grab. We are quite a ways away from the well though. I would need Kirara to take me back but that would inconvenience Sango. Besides if you guys start moving again or something happens, I wouldn't know where to find you…"
"If you have Kirara with you… She could track us down if we decide to move on. Do you think she could go through the well with you?" Miroku asked.
"I never tried to bring anyone through with me… It might work." Kagome's eyes widened as she had a sudden epiphany, "That would keep Inu Yasha from doing something stupid like closing the well. If Kirara is trapped on the other side with me, Sango would kill him."
"That is very true and very deviant… How long must you be gone?"
"Not more than a day…" Kagome sighed, "I should probably be on my way back before night falls and Inu Yasha comes back from God knows where…" With that being said, Kagome stood and brushed off her dirty, rumpled clothing. "Are you coming back to camp, Miroku?"
"I think I should just stay and enjoy this view for a little while longer." Miroku replied.
The young miko nodded and then turned to walk away. She paused a minute afterwards and turned to look back at Miroku. She caught him in the act of visually appreciating her backside. "Hentai…"
Miroku smiled again and waved his beaded palm. "Have a safe trip, Kagome-sama…"
Kagome shook her head and walked out of the small clearing and back to camp. It took no time at all to convince Sango to allow her access to Kirara and soon Kagome was flying through the air on the back of her cat-youkai companion.
"I promise not to keep you away for long, Kirara." Kagome shouted over the wind as she patted the youkai on her flank.
Kirara purred in response and surged forward through the sky.
"Where the hell is Kagome?" Inu Yasha nearly yelled after returning to camp after sun down.
His abrupt, irritated return momentarily halted the actions of his camp mates. Sango, having been in the act of tending to a budding campfire, paused long enough to spare a glance at the irate hanyou and then nonchalantly went back to her task. Shippou continued to play with one of his small tops, completely ignoring him. The prolonged silence perplexed Inu Yasha and set his already short temper to boiling. Inu Yasha was about to comment on their indifferent behavior but was thwarted when Miroku finally deemed him with a reply.
"She went home…" he replied curtly.
"It's about damn time…" Inu Yasha growled halfheartedly and then plopped down by the fire. His angry façade melted instantly as he stared into the rising flames of their campfire. She finally left… I thought she would never get lost. Good riddance to her then. She'll be happier far away from this dangerous place and far away from me…
"She'll be back by midday tomorrow…" Sango sighed.
The inu hanyou face faulted as his mind absorbed this tidbit of information, "She what… But I thought she was home for good!"
"No one said that…" Shippou teased.
Inu Yasha surged to his feet, "Like hell she will come back… I'll seal that damn we…" He had no chance to finish his sentence before Miroku struck him with his cane and paralyzed his body with a mantra that he'd stuck on Inu Yasha's forehead.
"That'll keep him from doing anything unnecessary for the night." Miroku sighed as he clapped his hands. "Kagome-sama may be the only one who can activate the sit spell but I have a few tricks of my own up my sleeve."
"Kagome had to go home for school. She'll be returning with Kirara in the morning…" Sango sighed once more to the cursing, red-eyed hanyou lying prostrate on the ground. "We wouldn't want you doing anything to crazy to effect her and my companion's return, now would we?"
Shippou snickered and stuck his tongue out at Inu Yasha. However, the kitsune's bravado soon dissipated when Inu Yasha's eyes flashed in his direction and fixed him with a glare of death.
"That spell will wear off at midmorning. For now, let us just relax and enjoy this beautiful night, shall we." Miroku smiled.
Inu Yasha answered with a string of curses that would have made even Naraku cringe.
Kagome found herself gliding through blue skies once again as she headed back in the direction of the camp. Her thoughts drifted far and away as Kirara swiftly flew through the air. Darn it! I got an answer wrong on my math test! I would have had an A+… and Sae-san seemed more suspicious than ever. I know she knows I'm not ill… but what else can I do? I have so much to do here and in the present. I can't possibly turn my back on my life in the Feudal era until… Until what? I'm most likely going to get myself killed in this era…
Kagome pushed a lock of her thick black hair out of her face and gripped Kirara tighter. The shards are getting insistent… Those visions are pervading my thoughts and I barely slept a wink last night… It's so frustrating… What do they want me to do? Kagome sighed and looked down at the ground far below. The remains of the village Kito could clearly be seen from her perch atop Kirara's back. We're getting closer to camp. I bet Inu Yasha will make a fuss and I'm really not in the mood for it at all. Perhaps he'll just ignore me. At least, I hope that he does.
"Here goes nothing…" Kagome muttered as they descended.
Shortly after they touched the ground, she jumped from the demon cat's back and unpacked some of the supplies she'd brought from home. Merely seconds after Kagome began unpacking; Inu Yasha came barging through the woods.
"I thought I told you to never come back! Not only do you disobey me but also you hold up the entire fucking group with your antics. You're useless! Nobody needs or wants you here. You should have stayed on the other side of damn well…" Inu Yasha growled in frustration. In truth, he was angrier at Miroku's betrayal, the fact that he's spent the night lying awkwardly on the ground, unable to move and that the whole time he lie there, he thought about Kagome's safety. Don't you know I've been worried about you since you left? Damn it! You shouldn't be here at all… Why can't you just go home and be safe!
Kagome continued to unpack, totally ignoring Inu Yasha's ranting. When her supplies were finally unloaded from Kirara's back she hefted them onto her shoulders and brushed past the irate hanyou. "If you're done now…" Kagome's icy voice cut through the air as she walked away, "We should pack up the camp and get moving before dark… There is no point in staying here any longer…"
Inu Yasha was left to watch Kagome's retreating back in shock. Kagome rarely, if ever, spoke to him in such a manner. The coldness in her voice shocked the hanyou to no end. He had no time to ponder this before a blur hurtled past him.
"Kouga-kun…" Inu Yasha growled under his breath as he pushed his silvery white hair out his face and mouth.
The speedy wolf youkai was to busy embracing Kagome affectionately and twirling her about to notice the Inu Yasha's chagrin. "Kagome! I was worried sick about you!"
"Why ever for Kouga-kun…" Kagome replied neutrally as she stepped out his arms and looked up at his face when he released her.
"Rumor has it that there's been a rash of villages being destroyed east of here. I think that bastard Hakudoushi is up to something. I ran into one of his mutants on the road here. I figured you might have had a brush with him too. I rushed to protect you because dog turd is the inept." Kouga cast a cerulean stare at his rival before taking Kagome's small hands in his.
The young miko smiled tolerantly, "We've had no trouble, Kouga. We were just about to take down camp and move out but we had no idea where to go…"
Inu Yasha gritted his teeth at the disgusting display before him but said nothing. Instead, he stalked past the two and into the woods.
"What's biting him?" the wolf youkai asked.
"Probably fleas…" Kagome muttered and politely pulled her hands out of Kouga's. She could not suppress the pang of hurt that bloomed in her bosom when Inu Yasha did not react to his former rival's presence. She hadn't meant to flaunt his presence and most certainly didn't want encourage Kouga but it would have been nice to see a familiar reaction from the young man she once called a friend. I guess he really does hate me and want me gone… It must not matter to him what happens to me then…
Kagome inwardly sighed and then directed a halfhearted smile in Kouga's direction; "I'm going back to camp now…"
The wolf demon grinned mischievously and hefted the protesting miko into his arms, "I'll take you…" With that he sprinted through the forest with Kagome clinging to him for dear life. They moved so quickly neither noticed the decimated, ragged trees that lie in their path.
When they arrived at camp, Kouga put her down and Kagome glared up at the handsome wolf demon. "I could have easily walked here, Kouga-kun."
"I didn't want you to trip on anything…" he replied softly all the while looking at her reverently.
Kagome rolled her eyes and directed her gaze to her companions who were all blatantly staring at her. Kagome felt her cheeks flare with color as she cleared her throat, "Kouga-kun has discovered that villages east of here are suffering the same fate as Kito."
"There must some pattern to all this…" Miroku replied rubbing his chin.
"I think that bastard is getting bold and trying to flush us out…" Kouga growled.
"Maybe… but somehow it seems Naraku has put us on the back burner. He still knows you have two shards and that we have shards as well, yet he has not made a direct attack against us. Kikyo remarked that Naraku has removed his heart from his body perhaps… We maybe closer to finding it," Sango responded.
"I still think it's a trap…" Kouga reiterated.
"Well, all we can do is follow what clues we have." Kagome finally stated.
"This is true…" Miroku agreed.
"I think we should be leaving soon but we can't move without Inu Yasha…" Sango said as she packed up the camp.
"I saw him hop in that tree over there a couple of minutes ago." Shippou offered.
"Then, he heard everything then…" Kagome replied nonchalantly. "We need to get moving now."
Kagome and her companions began dismantling their makeshift camp but were soon interrupted when two wolf youkai came running through the trees, gasping for breath and obviously fatigued.
"Kouga-kun! You left us again…" one of the wolf youkai gasped in between breaths.
Kouga shrugged in response, "You two were trailing behind. I had to make sure my woman was safe."
"Your… but Kouga-kun, Kagome-sama doesn't even…" the other replied perplexed by his leader's sheer ignorance of the young miko's true feelings.
Inu Yasha decided at the opportune moment to make his appearance. He'd spent most of his time brooding angrily in a tree near the campsite. The mere fact that Kouga-kun was close by put him on edge. With the addition of the leader of the wolf youkai being close to Kagome as well, the hanyou's already short temper was boiling. However, his anger was helpless for he could not vent his frustration in the gratuitously violent way he always did.
"Ahhh… So dog turd has finally made his presence known…" Kouga sneered as he drew close to his adversary.
"What's the matter wimpy wolf? Shouldn't you be off running away like a little bitch?" Inu Yasha bit out through clenched teeth.
The wolf youkai's azure eyes narrowed, "Shouldn't you be protecting my woman, dog face?"
Inu Yasha literally had to hold his demon blood in check and his amber eyes flashed red before he finally managed to reply, "Kagome's not…"
The two rivals were blissfully unaware of the complete silence of their surroundings as they faced off. The remainder of the group watched the exchange intently, waiting for the outcome. Kouga's faithful companions watched with an air of irritation about them for they knew that Kouga had no claim on Kagome's affection and that he was far too dense to recognize that. The others could not tear their eyes away for they were fully aware of the awful tension that had settled on the couple. If Inu Yasha for any reason denied Kouga's claim on Kagome, that could only mean he still had feelings for the young miko. Kagome's heart beat heavily in her chest and her breath stilled in her throat despite her lack of outward emotions.
Could Inu Yasha still…?
The next words out of his mouth dashed her hopes and replaced her anxiety with raw anger. "Kagome's not my fucking woman… If you want the bitch, take her and get the fuck out of here."
Kouga drew back with eyes wide in shock. His mouth fell slack and no words poured from his lips. Kagome strode forward and pushed between the two adversaries. Kouga stumbled back and his bright blue eyes widened further as took in the look of undeniable outrage on Kagome's face. Inu Yasha had no time to react as her hand delivered a crashing blow to his cheek. His head snapped sideways from the force of her strike.
"You idiots! I'm tired of your stupid fighting. I don't belong to either of you. As a matter of fact… I can't stand either of you!" Kagome turned on Kouga, her brown eyes flashing fire, "You assume that I want to be with you but you never ask me. I'm not your possession! I belong to no one!" Then, she turned on the shocked hanyou, who was cradling his reddened cheek, "You… Bastard! I hate you the most! Osuwari! You think you can just dump me off on whomever you want, huh? Well, I got news for you! I hope you…. I hope you fucking die! I'll be happy when the day comes that I never have to set eyes on you again! Osuwari! Osuwari! Osuwari…" Then she turned on the inhabitants of the camp, "What are you guys waiting for? Pack up the damn camp and let's get moving or I swear to the Gods of above I'll kill them both."
All of a sudden, there was a flurry of action; fires were doused, sleeping bags got tucked away. Kirara transformed and had all the supplies packed onto her back in record time. No one dared speak nor did anyone spare the enraged miko more than a sidelong glance and even those were hesitant. Sango need not ask if Kagome was going to ride alongside her, for she already knew that the young miko's emotional state was not steady enough to travel alongside Inu Yasha and Kouga. However, Sango dare not address the younger woman until they were ready to take to the air.
"Kagome-chan, are you okay?" Sango whispered before they took off.
Kagome made no attempt to hide the hurt that lurked behind her tear glazed eyes even as she smiled. "I'll be all right Sango." She replied a little brokenly, "I just want to get away from here…"
The taiji-ya nodded and urged Kirara into the sky. Everyone moved out quickly including Kouga's companions, everyone except Inu Yasha and Kouga.
Kouga shook off his stupefaction moments after everyone else had cleared the scene and then hissed at his hanyou companion, who was trying valiantly to remove himself from the ground. "Look what you've done, dog face! Now Kagome's angry and it's all your fault."
"Damn it, Kouga!" Inu Yasha groaned as he rubbed his sore back, "Bite me!"
"I have to catch up with my woman and make things better now. Way to go!" Kouga yelled as he blasted in the direction of the others, leaving Inu Yasha alone in the forest.
You… Bastard! I hate you the most!
Inu Yasha stood awkwardly and then rubbed his clawed hand over his eyes. You got what you want didn't you? She hates you now and there's nothing you can do to change that…
"Fuck…" he sighed in a pain edged whisper, "It wasn't supposed to be like this…. Fuck…"
Without another word, he burst into a full out run in the direction of the group. He moved quickly, almost outrunning the wind. But it wasn't enough. It would never be enough because no matter how hard or fast he ran; he could not outrun his own conscience. It took him very little time to catch up with the group but he said nothing as he fell into amongst them. He just kept going, highly aware of the stares and glares directed at him.
When they settled for the night, all were hesitant to pierce the tense silence that pervaded the atmosphere. Kagome had long retreated into an icy shell and would not acknowledge Inu Yasha's presence. Kouga wisely decided, for once, that he and his companions should keep some distance from the others. Inu Yasha had taken to a tree and remained there throughout the night. Sango, Shippou, and Miroku held their peace, although they glanced knowingly at each other from time to time. They were dying to make comments but realized silence was best route for now. No one wanted to risk being skewered by Kagome.
The young miko was fully aware of the fact that her companions were bursting at the seams as they tried to hold their peace and if she weren't feeling so humiliated and raw, she would have laughed at their comical efforts to keep quiet. Instead, she quietly excused herself and left the campfire so that her awful mood would not damper the conversation Miroku, Sango, and Shippou were dying to have. Kagome sighed as she rolled out her sleeping bag a good distance away from her companions so that she would not be privy to their muted whispers, and then she crawled inside determined to block out the events of the day. As she lay in the fetal position within the shelter of her bag, tears pricked the backs of her eyes, tears that the young miko stubbornly would not allow to fall.
I will not cry… I will not let Inu Yasha make me cry ever again… I made myself a promise… I don't care if he doesn't want me… I won't care… I can't… I'm here for a reason and once it's over I can leave and I'll never have to see his face again.Kagome was ill prepared for the pain that shot through her heart at the idea of never seeing Inu Yasha again.
You can lie to anyone but you can't lie to yourself… Kagome mentally reprimanded herself as her façade of anger crumbled, leaving her raw and vulnerable. I still love him… I still love him and I hate myself because of it. If I didn't care at all, it wouldn't have hurt so badly when he pushed me off on Kouga. I have no one but myself to blame…
Kagome winced as she remembered the harsh words that poured from her mouth earlier that day. I'm not like this… I shouldn't have let him get me so riled up. I shouldn't have let him get to me… Now, I'm no better than him… She clamped her eyes shut in an effort to force sleep to overcome her thoughts but her body would not allow her an easy reprieve. Annoyed, she rolled unto her back and listened to sounds of the night while staring up at the twinkling stars shining through the canopy of the forest. That's it… No matter what he says… no matter what Inu Yasha does… I will not react… I will not let him see that he can hurt me again… Having come to her own resolution, Kagome repressed her thoughts and stare blankly up at the sky until sleep overtook her.
The dam broke as soon as Kagome was out of earshot. The trio began whispering fiercely amongst themselves, fully aware that those with sensitive youkai hearing would be audience to their conversations.
"How could he say such cruel things in front of her?" Sango hissed angrily. "Kagome-chan was crushed."
Miroku shook his dark head sadly as he whispered his reply, "I do not approve either. He has been most harsh in his treatment of Kagome-sama…"
Shippou scratched his auburn head in confusion, "I just don't get it? Why is he being such a jerk to her? I mean, I know Inu Yasha is always a jerk but, this is just too extreme…"
Miroku averted his violet eyes to the smoldering twigs and leaves of their small campfire, "One can only wonder what goes on in the mind of that particular half demon."
Sango brown eyes narrowed in suspicion as she watched the monk's shifty behavior, "Yes, one can only wonder, Houshi-sama…"
Miroku stiffened at her tone but then shrugged nonchalantly, "I tried to pry information from the young man in question but he was being as tight as a vir… clam…"
Sango's blushed in shock and then covered Shippou's ears, "Miroku! How could you speak that way in front of a child!"
Shippou tried to shake off the taiji-ya's hands, "What? What did he say? What's a vir" Shippou's questions ceased when Sango indignantly placed her hand over his mouth.
The houshi only smiled roguishly, "I knew that would make you use my given name. I love how it sounds coming off of your lips. Besides, you know how much I hate it when you call me houshi-sama."
Although it shouldn't have been possible, Sango's blush deepened even as she reached across and cuffed the object of her affection, "You should still watch what you say… Miroku…"
Despite the stinging sensation on his left ear, Miroku smiled and rubbed his head before going back to their former conversation, "As I was saying, I'm not sure what we'll be able to do about Kagome and Inu Yasha. I just hope that we all will manage to keep things going smoothly until the final battle comes. You may not understand Inu Yasha's motives but I'm sure he has his reasons for what he does. Please, keep in mind that this is matter for those two to solve. Nothing good can come of you interfering."
"But…" Sango countered, ready to argue for the sake of her dearest friend.
Miroku's tone brooked no argument. "Do not interfere… Kagome's not asking you to and I highly doubt she would do such a thing. For the sake of our unity, let those two work things out."
The newly freed Shippou only huffed and crossed his small arms over his chest, "How come I don't get to hear any of the good stuff?"
"Perhaps, when you're older…" Miroku smiled and ruffled his hair and then leaned over slightly and whispered, "Or when Sango isn't around…"
"I heard that…" Sango warned darkly.
Miroku and Shippou only snickered derisively, which caused the taiji-ya to shake her head in distaste, "On that note, I'll retire so you two can have alone time."
"Actually, we all should probably retire… Tomorrow, we have a ways to travel and I, for one, find riding Kagome-sama's bi-cycle quite tiring…"
Shippou yawned profusely, interrupting Miroku's spiel. "I'm not really tired…", the kitsune child replied even as another huge yawn escaped his mouth. "But, I think I'll go join Kagome. She probably needs comfort right about now…"
Sango and Miroku lapsed into silence for a few moments after Shippou made his exit. The events of the past week put a damper on the pair's budding relationship as both tried to console their fighting friends. Now, this unexpected interlude left them feeling subconscious and shy. Sango stole a few glances at Miroku and then shuffled some twigs in the campfire. Miroku's intense violet gaze watched her nervous profile, seeing the slight blush forming on her cheeks that had nothing to do with the warmth of the fire. He waited, hoping Sango would speak first, hoping that he wouldn't have to gush his feelings. Seeing Sango shift awkwardly for the fourth time made him realize that she was no more willing to make the first move then he was.
Why am I so hesitant now? It's usually not so hard… Why do I feel so self-conscious? Miroku's musing ended as Sango stood up in obvious frustration. Is she leaving? Sango can't just leave me here… The monk's mouth opened to call her back, but closed abruptly as she came to stop beside him and plunked down on the ground. She neither said a word nor looked at him as leaned her head on his robe clad shoulder. Despite his efforts to hide his surprise behind a veneer of nonchalance, a slight blush stole upon his smooth cheeks. This was the first time Sango initiated contact with him. In the past, it was he who coped a feel or pulled his hesitant lover into his embrace. Afterwards, the taiji-ya would respond with a punch or a reprimand at his forward behavior.
Ever since he confessed his true intent toward the demon slayer, Miroku decided that it was best to repress most of his perverse urges in hopes of gaining her trust. Instead of playfully patting her backside, he would just hug her close; letting his hands stray no further than her waist. When they could steal a private moment, he always sat close of enough that there shoulders would brush. Sometimes he would toy idly with her hand, clasping it in his while they talked about anything and everything. Sango gradually became less and less weary of his presence, however, she'd never made an attempt to touch him, until now.
I never knew how important it was to me to have Sango want to be near me… I guess I hadn't garnered much hope in her ever truly liking me in the first place. I've spent most of my life breezing by responsibility and indulging in whatever nonsense I could find. Now more than ever I realize how very significant and precious life is when you have people you care about close by. The time is winding down and I know that my days are indeed numbered. I just hope I don't end up failing Sango or myself…
Without saying a word, the young monk brushed a kiss over Sango's temple while sliding his fingers into hers. Then, he leaned close, letting his head rest atop her onyx tresses. Neither spoke, for fear of ruining such a perfect moment. High above them, another was observing the night of silence but not for the sake of romance. Black tresses flew about the lone figure's strong-featured face and his dark brows furrowed over his stormy violet eyes. High above him stars glistened in the velvety darkness of the night sky, casting an eerie glow over his red hakama and haori.
I hate new moons…
I hate being human…
It makes me weak… it makes me helpless…
Worst of all it makes me think…
If Inu Yasha could at that moment, he would have let loose a massive growl of frustration. Unfortunately, his growls often sounded ridiculous and much out of place when erupting from his very human lungs. Nights like this always seemed to end on a bad note, usually with a monster or two attacking. But there were no monsters this time… not ones visible to the eye. Not so long ago, on the night of the new moon, Inu Yasha would sit, hidden from the world, and think. Think of all the sins that weighed so heavily upon his soul… all that was lost to him… all the things he would never know… all the things he shouldn't have said… all the moments that passed him by. Such memories never faded but it was much easier to push them aside with his demon blood flowing freely through his veins. Then and only then could he purge the awful thoughts momentarily from his psyche. Now more than ever he wished for respite from his crippling thoughts. Not only did he have the weight of his past mistakes weighing upon him but also the present and ever looming darkness of the future to deal with.
I made the decision to lay Kikyo to rest as she deserves… in doing so I tried to keep Kagome from suffering the same fate or some worse demise by putting her back in her own world and trying to make her stay there. I failed miserably it seems as I have failed so many times in the past. I couldn't protect Kikyo then and now Kagome would rather die than let me near her. It would have been easier had Kagome been the same girl she was two years ago. That girl would have turned tail and left me high and dry. I wouldn't hurt so badly knowing that she was safe even if she hated me. Unfortunately, I hadn't anticipated that I would have to come face to face with my mistakes, showing so clearly in her eyes. She hates me… she hates me and I can see it… I know how much I hurt her… and it's killing me.
I can't do anything right it seems… I failed Kikyo… I failed Kagome… I failed everyone. I see how they look at me now… I don't know why they haven't cast me out yet… It seems that Miroku is the only one who can look me in the eyes without disgust. They all see me as an enemy I'm sure. Fuck… even I'm against myself and there's no way to turn back now…
Shit… Where do you go after you've dug a ditch for yourself? Do you keep digging and hope that you'll get the other side or do you just wait for the walls to fall in on you? Kami-sama I don't know what I should do now… I swear to the gods if Kouga touches her one more time I'll… I'll… I'll do what?
Shit..
Inu Yasha knew without saying that he'd already put his foot in his mouth by basically giving Kagome away to Kouga. Now, he dreaded the moment when the wolf demon would attempt to collect on his hanyou rival's foolish gift. While Kagome didn't seem at all receptive given the circumstances, he could almost imagine her leaving with Kouga out of spite. The mere thought of Kouga laying a hand on Kagome made a feral growl rumble in Inu Yasha's chest. His blood was heating up to a fevered pitch. Somewhere in the back of his mind it was registering that this phenomenon should not be taking place, not this soon… not this quickly. However, Inu Yasha continued growl, his eyes flashing between red, gold, and darkness. His once blunt nailed fingers pierced the bark of tree limb on which he sat as his fingers gripped the branch tightly. His growl turned to gasp as he physically had to restrain his demon half from bursting forth and reaping havoc on the unknowing dreamers below. He doubled over, fighting wave after wave of pure animal rage. He was almost overwhelmed by the barrage of emotions and thoughts. Rage, Lust, Sadness, Anxiety, Confusion, and Need…
It was just too much…
By some fragile miracle Inu Yasha managed to restrain himself, but not without paying the price. He fell forward on his hands as his strong chest heaved for breath. His white hair stuck to his sweaty forehead and fell over his red clad shoulders. Tremors ran through his whole body as the shock of what had just taken place fell upon the half youkai. The full moon still shone above him, oblivious to the danger and the plight of mere mortals above.
At any other time, Inu Yasha would have been overjoyed to be free of his 'weak' human form on such a night but… having known what transpired only moments earlier sent a strong shaft of fear to his heart…
What is happening to me?
Too much…
Shit…
Aww crap…. I so meant to make this chapter 'Dances with Wolves' but I realized, as the chapter got longer and longer, that there would be no way and no real reason to shove two or three chapters into one. Besides, the more chapters the merrier! Also, I had the sudden epiphany! What the heck is Naraku and his troops doing? I wanted to know and I'm sure the readers want to know as well. So I decided somewhere along the way I would have to veer away from the main plot just so I could let the readers in on outside forces. Also it would help the story development greatly ya know! I have some plans for certain characters in this story… I just hope I orchestrate these events as smoothly as possible.
I hope you guys enjoyed the bit of fluff I managed to push into this chapter. I know it's not Kagome/ Inu Yasha but what did you expect? If you know my writing like you should, you would know nothing good comes easy. There's definitely a storm brewing between those two and you know what they say… Where there's thunder... there will be lightning… Things are going to get complicated and more than a little shocking!
Stay tuned for 'Dances with Wolves' ! I promise not to keep you waiting too long. Thank you for sticking around…
Megami no Hikari
