Title: The Quest!
Author: Zee
Disclaimer: I wanna fuck you…in the ass…UNTIL YOU BLEED!!
((NOTE)) -WHOOOO!!!! (-waves flag with party hat on at an askew angle-) HAPPY 2005, Y'ALL!! WHOOOOOOOOOooOOO!!!
hide-chu: (-would make witty comment if he wasn't completely shitfaced. Sings with Gackt, who has randomly made an appearance in my life-) KIMEEEEEWA!!! BOKUUUUNO VANILLA!!! DUUUUUN, DUN DUN DUN!! DUN DUN DUN DUUUUUN!!
-YES!! HAHAHAA!!! I love new years, my parents get so shitfaced they don't notice anything. MAUHAHAA!!! REVIEWS!!!
/o/
The Kate: (-huggles The Kate, who knows nothing about evo but is one of my best friends-) I love you Kate-chan XD Yeah, I know, we forgot! DAMN YOU GACKT! DAMN YOU FOR MAKING US MOMENTARILY FORGET ABOUT HIDE!! (-kills him and the sock stuffed in his pants-)
Idiot Paranoia: Thank you, Holly XD I had an excellent time at your house :D Happy birthday, dude!
Childrenwithblades: XDD You know you think it's funny. I know! I'm back! Holy crap! XDD You'll see what happens. Missed you too, man XD
Ruby631: Thank you :D I'm happy to be back too! Yep, I like Lance with John XD I'm never sure who'd be on top. Heh, I love everyone's reaction to Pietro being straight XDD
She-Wolf89: I KNOW OMGWTFBBQ!! I have updated!! (-dances like a cannibal with you-)
nessie6: XDD I thought this up one night in the shower and I was like "What's the most inane thing to compare a cannibal dancing with? GASP! I KNOW!! LEPERS!! MUAAHHAHA!!! XDDD Human hair is very strong, you know. When I was in eighth grade, I had about a foot and a half long hair, and one day I got bored, twisted it around my desk, and tried to lift it (I held onto my hair so it wouldn't rip out XD) and my math teacher was like "YOU KNOW, HAIR IS SOME OF THE STRONGEST STUFF IN THE WORLD!!" only she said with a Hungarian accent so it was funnier. So I have reasons for putting that in (-nodnod-) The second paragraph owns. You'll see what happens to the Mary-Sue and the Quest to find her XD The point of a thong is to hang out, if I remember correctly...OH YOU MEAN HIS DICK! Well, there are special man thongs that hold it in. I think. I rarely see Lance/Pyro, so I thought what the hell, write it. However, that might have been a bad idea since Pyro is so fun to fuck with. But there's still Magnuts. Muahaha. And yes, I know very well what three hours of sleep can do to you :D
/o/
-(-blows on noisemaker-) WHOOT!! LET'S GET ON WITH IT!!
Yeah. You know you want it.
/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/
The Mary-Sue would have been watching with wide, frightened eyes as the cannibal women mixed randomly sliced vegetables into large pot of boiling water. She would have been praying to whatever monotheistic deity she obviously believed in (the uncultured whore) to save her from this mess. And she might even had had large, perfectly shaped tears falling from her large, perfectly shaped beautiful (insert color here) eyes (it should be noted that even if she started crying, her nose would not have turned red like a normal persons, but would have stayed the same color. Because she's perfect.).
But the Mary-Sue did none of this. Because she was still too busy contemplating which one of her powers to use to get out of this mess.
"Maybe time travel...I could just go back to before I came here and stop myself from coming. Or I could seduce them! No, some of them are women, ew. Oh! Or maybe I could…"
Little did she know, time was running out.
/o/
"Alright everyone!" called Scott over the chattering of the X-men, who were milling around the hanger. "Is everybody here?!"
Jean sauntered over. "Everyone's accounted for except Mr. Logan."
Scott would have blinked if his eyes weren't covered by those sunglasses. "He's not here? Where could he be?"
"I don't know. I think he said something about…finding something out."
Scott groaned. "Logan went to 'find something out'?! It could be hours before he gets back! Jesus, he already knows everything about himself after all those episodes, what else is there that he needs to know?!"
/o/
"WHAT THE HELL IS A HARAJUKU GIRL?!" roared Logan, once again throwing Gwen Stephanie across the room. Those Four Freaky Japanese Girl's that randomly are there cowered in the corner, wondering why they chose to leave the comforts of their homes to follow this woman who was being beaten by this strange hairy man.
Gwen laughed scornfully, shaking her belly. "I'll never tell you!"
"I MUST KNOW!" bellowed Logan, his claws shooting out of his knuckles. "YOU NEVER SHUT UP ABOUT THEM! WHAT ARE THEY?!"
Gwen just laughed and shook her abdomen.
Suddenly, Sabertooth burst through the window because he can. "YOU!" he roared much like Logan, though he was pointing at Gwen. "WHAT IS A HARAJUKU GIRL! THIS QUESTION HAS PLAGED MY MIND FOR MANY A NIGHT AND I WANT AN ANSWER NOW!"
"No way, bub." Growled Logan menacingly. "I got here first!"
Sabertooth's expression, for once in his life, changed to one of surprise. "You mean…You need to know what a Harajuku girl is too?"
"Yeah…" murmured Logan, looking slightly confused. "You too?"
"Yeah.."
There was silence for a moment, except for the murmuring of the Four Freaky Japanese Girls. Then-
"THIS MUST BE LOVE!!"
And to the disgust and horror of Gwen and her dancers, the two mutants leaped at each other and began ripping off the others clothes in passion.
/o/
"Well y'all gotta wait for him to get back, then." Said Rogue angstily, taking off her terrifying breast-plate.
Scott sighed, anus contracting. "Alright. We'll leave tomorrow. Everyone!" he called to the milling mutants, "Go back to whatever you were doing, but be ready for tomorrow."
Everyone gave a cheer and raced back to do whatever they were doing. Studying, playing Frisbee, fucking (this was in Jamie and Roberto's case), giving piggy-back rides and blowing things up, out, in, and down. But they went back to do it.
Kitty giggled. So now Lance would get his helicopter and they would see him when they went to save the Mary-Sue! Maybe while they were there, the exotic African environment could get them to reconcile their relationship! Those rumors about Lance being with that freaky Pyro guy couldn't be true! She'd MAKE Lance love her again!
Kitty giggled. Or else!
/o/
"John." Said Pietro blandly as he opened the door. "Hallelujah."
"PIEPIE!" roared John, grabbing Pietro into a back breaking hug. "HOW EXTREMLY CORKING IT IS TO SEE YOU!!" His hand ran over Pietro's ass because he's John and that's what he does. He blinked. "Are you wearing a thong?"
"LAAAAANNNNCCEEEE!!!" wailed Pietro, wriggling out of John's grasp. "YOU'RE BOYFRIEND IS VIOLATING ME AND MY VAST THONG COLLECTION!!"
"No he's not…" muttered Lance, thumping down the stairs. He grinned at John has Pietro stormed off in a hissy fit. "Hey. You weren't really feeling his thong, were you?"
"I can't believe you let him stay here while owning a thong." John rolled his eyes and started up the stairs to Lance's room. "It's probably pink with bunnies on it."
"Um, I found an extra blanket or two and a couple of pillows so if you want I could sleep on the floor and you could have the bed." Lance murmured as they got to his room.
John pondered this. "Hmm…how 'bout this. You put your bed mattress on the floor, along with all the pillows and blankets and stuff and we both sleep on the floor." He gave a predatory grin and wrapped his arms around Lance's waist. "Then you won't have to be lonely."
Lance smiled and wrapped his arms around John's waist. "Oooh, I can't wait for tonight."
"I know…" breathed John.
"I'm gonna pound you so hard you don't remember your name." said Lance silkily, licking the shell of John's ear.
John blinked and pulled back. "…what?"
Lance leaned forward and pressed John against the wall. "I doubt you'll be able to even walk in the morning."
"Eh heh…" murmured John, looking slightly confused. Then he laughed and said, "Nonononono, babe, I'm gonna be on top."
It was Lance's turn to look confused. "Nooo, I'm gonna be on top. I'm always on top…"
"Unless you're with me, in which case you're on the bottom."
"No! Remy was on top when he was with you-"
"Remy would have blown me up if he wasn't. Besides, you're on the bottom with Scott sometimes."
"Sometimes!" Lance had pulled away now.
"Yeah, well sometimes I'm on the top with Remy!"
"John." Said Lance firmly, the ground slightly shaking beneath them. "You. Are. Going to be. On the. Bottom."
John glared venomously. "No, Lance. You are."
Lance slammed his hand against John's chest, pressing him up against the wall and leaned in close. "No. You. Are."
John's eyes were narrow slits as he grabbed Lance's hand and twisted it around the boys back. He sneered. "Make me."
Lance, who's face had been in pain a second ago, grinned. "Fine. I will." And he pushed John into his bedroom and slammed the door.
Wanda screamed "PPPPAAAAAEEEEEYYYYY!!!!" all night to block out the noise.
/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/
-WHOOOOANOTHER CHAPTER DONE!!
Gackt: WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE MY MAGNUM?!?!?! (-pulls down pants-)
hide-chu: MINE!! (-grabs it-)
-Erm…yes. I'm no longer crazy because New Years Eve was SEVEN TEEN DAYS AGO, YOU HORNY JAPANESE ROCKERS, but that's okay. So what'd you all think? TELL ME TELL ME TELL MEEEE!!!
hide-chu: (-whose mouth is full-) REVIEW PLEASE!!
