Chapter Two; Hollow Eyes And Empty Souls
Ken walked quickly through the rain, heading back across the river. But he wasn't really bothered by the fact that he was getting drenched. He'd given up taking care of himself long ago. Without his mother and Wormmon, Ken doubted whether he'd even think about grabbing something to eat, or brushing his raven hair.He knew he was a mess. But what could you do? He just didn't care anymore. Not like his parents. Not like Wormmon. Not like…Davis.
>I'm sorry I lied to you Davis. But I just don't think you'd understand.>
Davis finally got home, and fumbled in his pocket for his key. Cursing as he realised he'd forgotten it, he knocked on the door, waiting for someone to let him in.
Jun opened the door, and rolled her eyes.
"Don't tell me. You forgot your key…again." Davis scowled, and pushed past her.
"Just leave it, Jun." Groaning, he dropped onto the sofa, sighing when he realised that she'd followed him.
"So where've you been. Out with your boyfriend again?" Davis flushed, and he leapt up, virtually spitting with rage.
"Just shut up! You know that it's not like that!"
"Down boy. I didn't mean it." Jun sniggered, then grabbed her book.
"You ought to try a bit of culture. It might cool that temper of yours." She hugged the book to her chest, turning starry-eyed.
"The story is so beautiful. It's about this beautiful girl who falls in love with this gorgeous man. But when his house burns down, he's horribly disfigured, so she has to learn to love him again…for the heart." Davis snorted, narrowly escaping Jun's swinging fist.
"Oh, shut up and listen! There's this fantastic quote in it…" Jun flipped through the pages, before stopping with a loud laugh of triumph.
"Here it is…Look into his eyes, Mandy. For the eyes are the windows of the soul. A warm eye indicates love and happiness. But hollow eyes show the darkest depths of depression, a downward slide…one that may not be able to be stopped." Jun sighed dramatically, closing her eyes as she imagined the emotional scene.
Taking his chance, Davis escaped into his room, locking the door behind him. He'd always known that Jun was crazy…this just clinched it.
"Oh! Honey, you're home." Ken's mother glanced over at him, making sure that he was alright.
"You don't need to check on me, Mama. I'm fine." Ken made a huge effort, and managed to summon up a faint smile, putting her worries at rest.
Still, smiling, Ken went into his room. Sighing loudly, he slid down the door to the floor. His smile faded away quickly. >It's hard to smile when it feels like your heart's been ripped out of your chest>.
"Ken? You're all wet…" Ken opened his eyes to see Wormmon. The little digimon stared at him worriedly, before crawling away. Returning with a towel, he began to rub Ken's hair dry, noticing the way that his partner was beginning to shiver.
"You should change into some dry clothes, Ken. You'll get ill." Ken shrugged, making no effort to do as the little worm suggested.
"It doesn't matter to me." >Nothing matters anymore…>
Wormmon frowned, and tried to pull Ken towards the radiator.
"Well, at least warm up a bit. You're shaking." Ken shrugged again, and Wormmon felt the now familiar tugs of concern inside of him.
He couldn't quite remember when Ken had become so despondent. Perhaps it had seeped into his life slowly. But no matter when it had begun, it just meant the same thing. Something was seriously wrong with Ken.
>Why won't you let anyone help you? You put on that mask of normality, and try to slip away, but you've forgotten one thing. Me. I've heard your nightmares. I've seen how dark your dreams have become…how painful…let me in, Ken. Please.>
"I'm fine, Wormmon. A bit of cold never hurt anybody." Ken went over to his mirror, staring at his emotionless reflection. It stared back, examining him with judging eyes.
Those eyes became cold, and Ken shuddered violently as he saw his reflection grab a cruel whip, bringing it down on some helpless creature. Crying out, he stumbled backwards, falling backwards to the floor in his haste.
"Ken? Ken! Are you alright?" Wormmon leaned over his friend, and winced at the look of desperation he saw in those violet eyes.
"It'll be ok, Ken. Whatever it is that's bothering you, it will be ok." Uttering a harsh sob, Ken gathered his digimon into his arms.
"Why won't it stop, Wormmon…I just want everything to go away!" Ken's body became wracked with sobs as he let out his grief, holding tightly onto Wormmon.
>Where does the darkness end and Ken Ichijoji begin? I'm losing myself, Wormmon…and I can't stop it.>
Davis paced around his room, unable to wind down and relax. Somehow he knew that there was something terribly wrong with Ken…he just didn't know what to do about it.
>What am I going to say to him? Ken, I don't know what's wrong with you, but it's bad? Get a grip Motomiya.> Sighing, he looked around, trying to find something to calm him down. His eyes fell on a pile of photographs, and he absent-mindedly picked them up.
They were photos of all the Digidestined. Riffling through them, Davis stopped at the last two photos, a lump gathering in his throat. They were pictures of Ken. The first one had been taken when the group had been out celebrating MaloMyotismon's defeat.
Ken was actually laughing, the camera somehow capturing a perfect moment. Davis gazed at those expressive amethyst eyes, and wondered how a picture could have shown their emotion so well.
The other one was more recent – Davis had a feeling that it had only been taken a couple of weeks ago. It couldn't have been more different than the other. Ken's shoulders were slightly slumped, as if in defeat, and he didn't seem to be very happy. His eyes were barren, devoid of any emotion. As he thought about how hollow they looked, Davis felt a chill rocket up his spine.
What had Jun's book said?
'Look into his eyes, Mandy. For the eyes are the windows of the soul. A warm eye indicates love and happiness. But hollow eyes show the darkest depths of depression, a downward slide…one that may not be able to be stopped.'
"Oh, God." Davis whispered, feeling his body tense. How could he have not noticed before? How couldn't he have seen the way Ken was slowly drawing inside himself, cutting himself off from any human contact? The way that he didn't seem to care about anything any more.
"Veemon? I think we have a problem."
Ken glared at his reflection, silently daring it to fight back. Groaning slightly, he dragged a brush through his knotted hair, cringing at the pain it caused.
In truth, he wasn't feeling on top of the world. Yet again, he hadn't got a wink of sleep the night before. His restless mind had kept him awake, tossing and turning until even the normally patient Wormmon told him to settle down.
Feeling his digimon's eyes on the back of his head, Ken plastered what he hoped was a normal expression over his abnormally pale face.
>Is it healthy for someone to miss so much sleep? Do I even care?>
Putting his coat on at Wormmon's insistence, Ken left his room, and walked straight out of the apartment. He didn't even bother to grab one of his mother's homemade cookies.
Davis waited outside the bowling alley, wondering what on Earth he was actually going to say to his best friend. >Hey, Ken, how are you? Good? Because I think you might be having a breakdown!>
Shaking his head at how stupid even the voice inside his head was, Davis suddenly realised that Ken had arrived, and was walking over. >He looks pretty normal to me. Let's see how he acts, before going all Crazy Professor on him.>
"What time do you call this, Ichijoji?" Davis teased, trying to get the talk off to an easy start. Although Ken was actually late. By nearly half an hour.
"Sorry, Davis." Ken murmured. He offered no excuse, and just stared at his friend, already drifting off into silence. Davis frowned. This wasn't like Ken at all – normally he would have been falling over himself to apologise, have felt guilty for making his friend wait so long. But he just didn't care anymore.
"Well, you should be. You're just a waste of space these days! No matter what I do, you're just acting like some freaky zombie dude!" Davis knew it was unfair to lose his temper like this, but somehow the flash of hurt he saw briefly dance across Ken's icy eyes was worth it.
"And you don't seem to be thinking of anyone anymore! You don't deserve that Crest Of Kindness, Ken! Kind people don't push all their friends away, or abandon them. Kind people show up on time so that they don't worry the person they're meeting! Kind people take other people's feelings into account!"
Davis couldn't stop himself now. Months of frustration at Ken came pouring out like a raging river. Davis was fed up, and he wanted his best friend to know it.
"You're no better than the Emperor, taunting us like this!" Ken eyes widened sharply at this last remark, and he clenched his fists.
"Don't say that!" Davis smirked at Ken's tone of voice, and continued his verbal attack, knowing that he'd hit a nerve.
"I'm surprised that you haven't started to wear your hair all spiked up again. Or is that look out of season this year?" Ken was panting now, obviously restraining himself from striking out. Davis could somehow sense that he'd awoken something dangerous in Ken, but carried on, not caring.
"What's wrong, Ken? Can't you fight back anymore? When you were the Emperor, you used to have such a violent streak!" Ken finally snapped. Throwing himself at Davis, he shoved the slightly shorter boy to the ground, ignoring the way his friend cried out in pain.
"Shut up! Shut up! Just shut up!" Ken pummelled Davis again and again, delivering a savage blow with every word. He was almost screaming those words now, and had an insane look in his eyes.
But even though he was getting the living daylights beaten out of him, Davis couldn't help smiling. This proved that Ken wasn't just an emotionless robot now – that he still had feelings.
Then a fist jabbed sharply into his stomach, and he gasped as the air left his body. The only problem was, he didn't know how to stop Ken now.
