Chapter Four; Broken
"Morning, Ken! Sleep well last night?" Wormmon bounded through the apartment, full of energy. Ken shrugged, beginning to get some breakfast ready. With Wormmon watching him, there was no chance of skipping it.
"Yep. Best that I've had for ages." He lied. Wormmon jumped up and down happily, before gazing soulfully up at Ken.
"You're still worried about the things you won't tell me." It was a statement, not a question, and Ken found himself nodding, unable to resist from telling the truth.
"It'll be alright, Ken. It always is." Ken managed a smile, and ruffled his partner's antennae fondly.
"Thanks Wormmon." >But it'll never be alright. You know that you can't take any more pain. Every day, it's a struggle to hold yourself together.>
Ken stiffened at the little voice inside his mind. A part of him wanted to say that it was the remnants of the Digimon Emperor, but he was still too sane to accept that.
>Whilst I may be the devil and angel rolled into one, there is only one of me. I'm the person who attacked Digiworld so long ago. Not some lunatic spirit inside of me. And sometimes I'm not sure whether it was because of the Dark Spore either. I scare myself sometimes – what if I had that darkness inside all along?>
"Wormmon?"
"Yes, Ken?"
"If I get you some breakfast, will you go outside, please? I want to be alone." He felt his heart breaking as Wormmon's eyes filled with tears, and he leaned down to pat his Digimon on the head.
"It's not you, Wormmon. It's me. I just need some alone time. Try hiding behind my mum's potted plants." Wormmon studied Ken's face for a moment, then smiled.
"Of course, Ken. Anything for you." He took the piece of bread and butter Ken offered him, and crawled outside, making himself comfortable as Ken shut the door.
Feeling horrible guilty, Ken carried the bread, butter, and knife into the living room. Sitting down on the carpet, he started getting his own breakfast. Normally he'd eat in the kitchen, but today he needed some comfort.
>Admit it. Something's broken inside.> Ignoring his own self-doubts, Ken started slicing the bread.
>You're riding a roller coaster of emotions, and you want to get off. What was that quote? Oh yes – 'Some people exist, but never really live'. You can't even remember who said that now. You're a mess.>
Ken jumped as a small jolt of pain shot up his arm. Glancing down, he realised that he'd cut his finger. >That'll teach me to concentrate.>
Fascinated, he watched his blood well up in the cut. He wasn't sure that he'd ever bled before – not outside. He normally bled inside, from deep wounds you couldn't see.
His finger finally stopped bleeding. The cut hadn't been that bad. But Ken still stared at it. It had given him an idea.
Davis groaned, and looked at his clock. He hadn't slept that well last night. Which was very unusual for him. But there was a simple explanation - he was still feeling guilty, because of how he'd spoken to Ken.
>You idiot, Davis. You were the one who provoked him in the first place. And when the guy tries to ring you up and apologise, you give him the cold shoulder!>
Well, there was only one thing for it. He'd have to go over and see Ken. He knew how low the genius's self-esteem was. Ken was probably giving himself hell over his behaviour. Even if it wasn't his fault, Ken somehow instinctively felt like it was.
And Ken had always had a problem getting to trust other people. So what had Davis done? He'd thrown that apology back in Ken's face, and weakened the other boy's trust in him. Perhaps destroyed it forever.
>No! I'd die before losing that trust. I promised that I'd always be there for him!> Davis thought furiously to himself as he hurried out the door. No matter what it took, he would regain Ken's trust.
And heal his broken heart.
"Davis!" Davis jumped as Mrs Ichijoji's potted plant spoke to him. Blinking, he bent down to look at it, wondering if he was going insane.
"Gaaaahhh!" He fell backwards in shock as a small green head shot out of the foliage, and glared down at the little digimon who'd appeared.
"Wormmon! Don't do that!"
"But you're the Digidestined of Courage, Davis! You're meant to be brave!"
Davis rolled his eyes at Wormmon's naivety. There were times when it was cute. This was not one of those times.
"What are you doing out here, anyway? Is Ken in?" Davis asked.
"He's in, but said he wanted some alone time." Wormmon answered. Davis frowned. That wasn't like Ken. Sure, the guy gave himself a hard time, and sometimes tried to isolate himself, but he'd never wanted 'alone time'.
"Ken? Ken!" Davis knocked loudly on the door, ringing the doorbell with his other hand. Even if the Digidestined of Kindness had been asleep, he should have woken up and come to the door.
Something was wrong. Davis had known it, hadn't he? That was really why he'd come over. He'd just had this sinking feeling in his gut. Still calling Ken's name, Davis began to kick the door in, throwing all his power into it. Desperation lent him strength.
Telling Wormmon to wait outside, Davis dashed into the apartment. And into the living room.
"Oh, Christ."
Ken lay there on the floor, surrounded by a pool of his own blood. Even from this distance, Davis could see the slashed wrists.
"Ken! Oh, God! Ken!" Davis ran to the still form of his best friend, and shook him slightly. >Oh, man…just how long has he been lying here like this?>
Ken's eyes were glazed, and he stared unseeingly at something over Davis' shoulder. But there was a pulse. And although his breathing was shallow, he was breathing!
Sobbing in panic, Davis ran to the Ichijoji's phone, calling for an ambulance. How could the operator be so calm, when Ken lay dying on the floor!
"Hello, Emergency Ambulance Services. How may we help you?"
"Pl...please. I've just found my friend unconscious in his apartment. I think he's slashed his wrists!" The operator asked Davis several questions, such as the address and Ken's current condition. Davis answered as best as he could, trying to control the fear that was welling up inside of him.
Hanging up the phone and hurrying into the kitchen, Davis was just gathering paper towels when he heard the shrill scream as Wormmon found Ken.
"KEN!" The digimon began to nudge at his friend's hand, beginning to cry when he didn't respond. Davis gently pushed him away.
"I told you to wait outside, Wormmon!"
"Ken! What's wrong with him? Why won't he answer me? Where's all this blood coming from!"
Wormmon's last question exploded out of him like a dying person's last cry, but Davis had to ignore it. He could comfort Wormmon later. But right now he needed to stop the bleeding.
Wrapping the paper towels round Ken's wrists, Davis couldn't help but see the cruel slashes. The things that the boy had done to himself. >Damn him, he even cut them the right way – all along the vein. But what do you expect from a boy who knows everything…including the best way to kill himself?>
The ambulance came quickly, and Davis went with Ken. Of course Wormmon hadn't been able to come, but the digimon had pulled himself together and promised to phone everyone.
Davis stared at his friend's face, and felt his stomach turn over. He was too pale…much too pale. Although Ken's skin had always been much whiter than everyone else's, even Davis could see that he had lost a lot of blood. Maybe too much.
Leaning forward, he took Ken's limp hand in his own and prayed. >Please don't let it be too late.>
The moment they arrived at the hospital, Ken was whisked away for stitches and a much needed blood transfusion. Davis watched them go, suddenly feeling lost and alone. He wanted to call after them, to tell them not to take Ken away. But that would be silly.
Davis's legs gave out under him, and he sat in the middle of the corridor, just staring after Ken. He thought back to how he'd first found his friend, how Ken had just been lying there, on the floor.
Covered in blood.
Retching, Davis tried to get to a bathroom, but didn't make it on time. He threw up in the corridor. As he leaned against a wall, sobbing hysterically, a nurse noticed, and gently took his arm.
"He'll be fine." Davis just stared lifelessly back at her, wondering how she could say that. Just say those words, when Davis felt an ache in his chest so intense, he wondered whether he might be having a heat attack.
"Come on. You can wait inside the friends and relations room if you'd like." Nodding dumbly, Davis allowed her to lead him away. Away from the harsh reality of that morning.
"Davis?" Davis looked up at the sound of Kari's voice, and saw that the rest of the Digidestined were standing there. All of them looked just as lost as Davis felt – even the unshakeable Izzy.
Glancing back down to the bed he was sitting by, Davis felt another wave of pain wash over him. Ken lay there, still unconscious, his wrists tightly strapped up. In bandages that were stained red with blood.
"I never knew he was this bad…I thought that he was just beginning to act like a moody teenager." Yolei whispered, her eyes glued to Ken's still form.
"Here. We went over to Ken's place and got some stuff for him." Cody gave Davis a small bag, which he put in the small cupboard. It could be unpacked later.
"Sora stayed back with Wormmon." TK added.
"She's gonna try and call Mimi…to let her know…" Kari's voice died away, and she buried her head in Tai's shoulder.
"Can you come with me a minute, Davis?" Joe asked. Davis just looked at Ken, loathe to leave him.
"Just for a minute. He'll be alright. Everyone else is here, aren't they?"
Davis silently nodded his head, reluctantly leaving his friend's bedside. He walked outside of the room with Joe, and stood there, wondering what was up. Although he didn't really care. He still felt numb.
>Ken's body, covered in blood >
Putting a hand to his head, Davis managed to get rid of the horrible mental picture, and focused instead on what Joe was saying.
"How are you, Davis?" Davis stared at him.
"What, you mean besides having found my friend after he tried to kill himself? Oh, fine. You?"
"Ok, stupid question. But I want you to take this seriously. You need some rest. You've had a terrible shock, and you've been here since this morning."
"I can't just leave and go home! I won't!" Davis crossed his arms, and glared at Joe. The older boy sighed.
"Somehow I knew that would be your answer. Alright then. I'll tell your parents, and Sora can look after Veemon as well. That sound good?"
Davis smiled slightly, thanking Joe profusely. Joe waved it all off, however, acting as though he hadn't just done more for Davis than any counsellor could.
"Who knows? Maybe Veemon can even cheer Wormmon up."
Davis sat in the chair, his eyes never leaving that beautiful face. It almost choked him sometimes, when he looked at Ken like this. It wasn't fair. What right did anyone have to be this damn serene and graceful?
Glancing at the clock, Davis stretched, hearing his joints creak. The others were long gone now. It was just him and Ken.
A sound drew his attention back to the bed, and he watched with bated breath as Ken began to stir. Until finally, Ken's beautiful violet eyes flickered open.
"Wha…" As the boy looked around in confusion, Davis leaned forward eagerly, glad to see the other awake.
"Before you freak, Ken, let me fill you in. You're in hospital. You…you kinda tried to slit your wrists."
Ken lifted one arm, and gazed at the blood soaked bandages. He groaned, and Davis waited for the relief that it didn't actually work to sink in, for Ken to realise what an idiot he'd been.
He didn't get the reaction he'd expected.
"No. No, no, no, no, no, no, NO!"
"Ken?" Davis watched Ken slightly worriedly, wondering what on earth the boy was protesting about.
"Why didn't you let me die? WHY DIDN'T YOU LET ME DIE!" Ken glared angrily at Davis, staring at him as though Davis had done something unforgivable.
Davis felt the bottom drop out of his world.
