Chapter Seven; Reunions, Chances And Searches

"KEN!" Wormmon leapt into his friend's open arms, snuggling in as close as he could.

"I thought I'd never see you again!" Wormmon's expressive eyes were shimmering with tears, and Davis smiled at the way they were matched by Ken's own shining ones.

"Oh, Wormmon! Are you alright? How are you finding it at Sora's? Are you getting on with Veemon?" Ken hugged his digimon close, feeling like he was being made whole again.

"He's getting on so well with Veemon, they've broken nearly all our ornaments whilst playing hide and seek." Sora said wryly. Veemon looked up from where he was greeting Davis, and grinned sheepishly at the scowling Digidestined of Love.

"We've already said sorry! And anyway, we haven't broken that much! Just a couple of vases, a few pictures, a mirror, 6 paperweights, a china dog…maybe I'll shut up now." Veemon began fiddling with his claws as Davis stared at him.

"You've broken how much? Jeez, Veemon, you're worse than me with a soccer ball!" Turning to face Sora, Davis put a hand behind his head and rubbed his neck.

"Sorry, Sora. I guess I know where this year's allowance is going!" Sora finally smiled, and shook her head.

"No, Davis. It wasn't you who broke our stuff, so you shouldn't pay. And neither should you, Ken." Sora cut off Ken, who had obviously opened his mouth to offer his own money.

"Don't worry, guys, my mother and I have come up with quite good punishments for them!" Veemon and Wormmon looked at each other, suddenly scared.

"Punishments? What punishments?" Wormmon blurted.

"Come on, Sora. You wouldn't hurt two adorable digimon, would you?" Veemon pleaded. Sora's grin widened.

"Well, let's just say that I won't be doing chores, and my mother won't be cleaning the house for quite a while!"

Veemon turned pale, whilst Wormmon sighed in relief.

"Is that all? I don't mind cleaning! Do you, Veemon?" Wormmon tried to get Veemon's opinion, but the blue digimon was slowly sinking to his knees.

"Cleaning houses…doing chores…noooooooo!"


Sighing, Davis glanced around his bedroom, trying to come up with something to do. He'd finally come up with a foolproof way of getting Ken to sleep – slipping sleeping pills into his food.

Unfortunately, this meant that Davis had to find his own entertainment now. Usually, he'd have done something with Veemon, but as Sora was still looking after the digimon, he was alone.

Of course, there was one option…although Davis knew that it wasn't very nice.

He could always read the diary.

25th December

Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Stuff Merry Christmas! What's there to be merry about? Ugh! I can't stand the way my parents are smiling, laughing!

I'm messed up. Is it easy to tell? Come on, what freak gets depressed around Christmas? It's not even like I got lots of rubbish gifts. But I can't help myself! What right does everyone else have to be so happy, when I feel so sad inside!

No, that's not fair. It's not their faults that I can't sleep because my past keeps coming back to haunt me.

Stuff Merry Christmas.

Davis continued to skim through the entries. Most of them were nearly the same, although even he could see the hint of desperation that seemed to be growing in Ken's writing. And then, there was a new entry. One that scared him more than any of the others.

10th February

God, I need sleep. I just want to close my eyes, sink into the mindless oblivion of rest. But I can't. The nightmares keep coming, and they're getting worse. I keep replaying my past over and over, each dark detail standing out so clear in my mind.

The first time I slapped a Dark Ring on a digimon. When I tortured Davis by making him choose which Digidestined to save. When I captured Agumon and forced him to digivolve. When I created Kimeramon.

When Wormmon died to save me from the darkness that I had created inside my own heart.

I know I'm not taking care of myself anymore. It doesn't matter, really. Nothing matters anymore. Who cares if I get ill? I don't.

But I know that this isn't normal. I shouldn't feel like this…something's wrong with me. I'm sliding further and further into some sort of darkness, and I can't stop myself.

I need to talk to someone…but I can't burden anyone else with this pain. It's not like they'd understand anyway. Hell, I don't even have anyone left to talk to! I'm pushing them all away…Cody, Yolei, TK, Kari…strange how the only person I seem to want to keep around is Davis.

All I want is to be the boy I was before.

But I'm afraid that's it's too late.

Biting his lip, Davis flipped through the last couple of pages. There were a few more entries, but they were meaningless, and didn't say anything about how Ken was feeling. Or anything else for that matter.

Then, the pages were blank. It seemed that Ken hadn't been able to find the effort he needed to put his life down on paper anymore.

>And he knew…he actually knew that there was something wrong with him…> Davis stifled a yawn, lying down on the spare bed. Blinking sleepily, he just about managed to put the diary on the bedside table, before succumbing to the sleep that was threatening to overwhelm him.

>Don't worry, Ken. I'll make sure that you'll never be alone from now on.>


Ken stirred, unable to figure out where he was. >Last thing I knew, I was in Davis' living room…he'd made us some food, and I was feeling sleepy>… Groaning, Ken sat up and looked over to where Davis was sleeping. >I can't believe he did that! He drugged my food!>

But still, he felt better than he had for a long time. Smiling softly, Ken watched the way Davis' chest rose and fell in time with his breathing. Davis had somehow become his whole world over the years that he'd known him, and now he couldn't imagine life without him.

>But I was willing to make Davis face a life without me.> Ken made a face as his thoughts turned sour, sighing at the way his happiness had quickly evaporated.

He could have gone back to sleep. But Ken didn't feel like it. He wanted to make the most of this time – he couldn't remember the last time he'd felt so awake.

Tiptoeing silently out of the bedroom, Ken went into the bathroom. His eyes grew wide as saucers at the state of it. Jun had been the lat in, and she'd left all her hair products scattered about. >Whoa, never knew that so many kinds of shampoo and gel existed…>

Ken absently reached into the bathroom cabinet, searching for his toothbrush. Unfortunately, he ended up knocking a small packet out. Grumbling slightly, Ken bent to pick it up…and froze.

Razorblades. It was a packet of razorblades, and Ken couldn't look away from them. Carefully, he took one out, and held it up to the light. >Jun and Davis are asleep…I could do it now…end this pain once and for all…>

But to his surprise, Ken realised that he didn't want to end his pathetic life anymore. He wanted to stick around, see how it turned out. He'd faced his past before, and he could do it again.

Smiling, Ken put the blade back inside, and slotted the bag back into its usual place. He heard a small sound behind him, and jumped, looking back to where the bathroom door was ajar. But no one was there.


Davis sped back to his bedroom, a huge grin on his face. He'd got up to go to the toilet, and had felt his heart stop when he saw that Ken was in there, with a razorblade.

He'd been ready to pounce on him, to do anything that would stop Ken from hurting himself, but Ken had pulled through all on his own. And smiled! Ken had finally shown the world his beautifully soft smile once again!

Sighing happily, Davis dropped back onto his bed. He never heard the sound of something falling in the living room. Or the sound of the front door slamming shut.


The next thing Davis knew, he was being rudely awakened by Jun shaking him.

"Wha…"

"Get up, Davis! Get up!" She cried, shaking him even harder.

"What on earth's wrong with you, Jun?" Getting angry now, Davis sat up, pushing his sister away from him.

"Davis, please! Ken's disappeared!" That got his attention. Davis leapt out of bed and ran through the apartment, finding no sign of his best friend.

"Where'd he go? Jun!" Burying her face in her hands, Jun just about managed to sob out:

"I don't know! I just woke up, and as there didn't seem to be anyone around, I figured you were both asleep! So I checked in on you, but he wasn't there either!"

Swearing, Davis ran out of the apartment and leaned over the railing, desperately searching for some sign of the raven haired boy. But he saw nothing.

"Ken!" Hoarsely calling out his name, Davis began to race down the stairs, heading for the complex entrance. As he ran, he yanked his D-Terminal out of his pocket, thanking the gods that he'd fallen asleep with his clothes on.

Ken missing. Need help he sent.

>Oh god, Ken. Where are you?>


Unfortunately, none of the other Digidestined were free to help, even though they desperately wanted to. Which left just Davis. Breath coming in ragged gasps now, Davis rounded another corner.

>This is ridiculous. I can't just run about everywhere. I need a system.> Thinking hard, Davis had an idea. Grabbing his mobile phone, he dialled his home number, and waited for Jun to pick up.

"Davis?"

"Jun! Is he back?" Davis managed to gasp out.

"No…you haven't found him?"

"Not yet. Look, was there anything disturbed in the apartment when you woke up? Like books scattered everywhere, or something?"

"Not really…wait!"

"Yeah?" Davis felt the stirring of hope, wondering if they'd found a clue.

"It's not much, but the calendar was on the floor…" Davis groaned, his heart sinking. >That's it? That doesn't tell me anyth…wait! Today's date! I know where he is!>

"Thanks, Jun! I think I've figured out where he's gone." Slipping his phone back into his pocket, Davis started running faster. But this time, he knew where he was going. Tamachi Cemetery.


"I'm sorry I haven't visited you lately, Sam. But I've had a lot of things on my mind." A soft voice whispered, as a pale hand stroked the cool marble of a tombstone.

Davis sighed in relief, and peeked round the tree he was hiding behind. He'd been right. Today was the anniversary of Sam's death – and Ken had once told him that he always came to visit Sam's grave on this day.

"But at least I remembered your anniversary, huh? So please don't be angry with me." Ken leaned forward slightly, resting his head against the engraved rock. Davis smiled sadly to himself. >Only Ken could suffer from severe depression, try to kill himself, then actually apologise to his dead brother for not visiting so often. >

"I'm a mess, Sam. I have been for months. Remember, I told you about the nightmares? Well, that wasn't the worst of it. I kinda went a bit weird…I…I tried to slit my wrists." Ken hung his head, allowing his silky hair to hide his face.

"But I'm alright now. I had a chance to try again, and I didn't take it. And all my friends are helping…especially Davis. He's been great. I'm staying at his apartment until Mama and Papa get back."

Davis watched as Ken rubbed a hand across his eyes. It was obvious that the other boy was close to tears, but didn't want to give in them. Davis wasn't sure whether that was a good thing or not. It could mean that Ken was almost back to normal…but then again, it's not good to bottle emotions up inside yourself.

"And there's other stuff going on, as well. I think I…like someone. Really like someone. But I'm afraid that they'll push me away if I say anything." Ken continued, his voice a strange mixture of hesitation and vulnerability.

"Ken?" Davis murmured quietly, choosing to interrupt his friend before he admitted who he liked. Somehow, Davis guessed that Ken would be horribly embarrassed if Davis found out about his new 'girl' this way.

Ken jerked in surprise, his eyes widening as he saw Davis emerge from the shadows of the tree.

"Davis…how…wha…?" he stammered in confusion. Davis simply shook his head, moving closer to his confused friend.

"Sorry. Didn't mean to spy on you. But me and Jun were worried when you disappeared like that." Ken bit his lip, looking down.

"Oh. I should have left a note. I'm sorry."

"Hey, no sweat!" Davis smiled cheerfully, not wanting to make Ken feel guilty.

"As long as you tell me which girl you were telling Sam about!" Davis wrapped an arm around Ken's shoulders, cutting off his escape.

"Come on! I'll let you go if you tell me." Davis gently coaxed.

Ken shook his head frantically, trying to escape.

"No…I don't think you'd like it, Davis…please…" He struggled in vain, but Davis just held on tighter.

"It's Kari, isn't it? I don't mind, Ken! Really! I'm so over her!" Davis crowed, laughing at the way his friend was desperately trying to get away.

"It's not Kari!"

"Then who? Yolei?"

"No! Please, Davis! Ken was panicking now, almost fighting to get free.

"Come on, Ken!"

"It's a guy, all right? A GUY!" Ken finally screamed. Davis froze in shock, then abruptly pushed Ken away from him, retreating.

"You're gay?" He whispered. Ken looked away, an expression of pure misery on his face.

"You're gay." Davis breathed again, this time with more certainty. How couldn't he have known? All those times when Ken had refused to date his obsessed fan-girls, all those times he hadn't wanted to go with Davis to 'pick up' girls…Davis felt like an idiot.

"You're queer. You're a pansy." The moment the words were out of his mouth, Davis regretted them. But it was too late. Ken's violet eyes hardened, until they resembled the blocks of ice he'd had as the Emperor.

"Well. I guess that clears up how you feel about that." Ken said pleasantly, although the way he was clenching his fists showed how upset he was.

"Ken…" The taller boy ignored his plea, and got up to go, shaking slightly with the emotions he was suppressing. Davis had the feeling that if he'd be in for another beating if Ken actually gave into them.

"I'd appreciate it if you didn't follow me this time." Ken was still smiling that painfully fake smile, and it made Davis feel guiltier than ever.

"I won't bother you any longer."

Turning on his heel, Ken began to stride away, each step taking him further and further from his friend…in more ways than one.