Trapped

Disclaimer: I don't own em; I just put em through hell.

Summary: Spike's not any better but he hears more than he bargained for.

Reviews: Yes, please. Crave em like I crave good Spike stories. Readers Rock but Reviewers RULE!

A/N: Kudos to WayWard Childe for his help in keeping all these people in character. You rock, Partner!

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The next day.

Giles volunteered to attempt getting some blood into Spike. He had an idea he hoped would work and heated a mug of the blood Lorne had procured. He knew it was human but had progressed in his personal principles to the point that it didn't matter to him how they did it as long as they brought Spike back. He trusted the kind Pylean to do the best for Angel and the rest of their eclectic family. All too soon, he found himself outside Spike's room with the mug of nourishment in his hand. Angel was downstairs with Willow and Cordelia attempting to capture the demon's likeness on paper so they could trace what it was and how to counteract the obvious poisoning Spike had gotten.

With a sigh, the Watcher pushed the door open. He hadn't seen the injured vampire since they'd found his bloodied body on the floor of the lobby and was gratified to see that Buffy's blood had facilitated some healing of the battered face. It wasn't as bruised as he remembered it being. Giles sat in the chair by the bed and gently pulled on Spike's chin to open his mouth.

"Well, it's better than what I used to feed you. We're back to using straws though. It's a pity the 'Kiss The Librarian' cup didn't survive the collapse of Sunnydale. It would have made a nice memento for you. Maybe I can find another one in one of the many novelty shops I've seen littering this abhorrent city." While he talked softly to the comatose vampire, Giles used the straw to slowly feed him the warmed blood by placing his finger over the open end of the straw and placing the filled tube over the open lips then letting the nourishing red fluid drain into his mouth. He waited a few minutes between each straw-full before attempting another one. It was a slow process but Giles was thankful to see that none of the precious liquid leaked out of the motionless mouth. It would have been faster if Spike had been able to swallow, Rupert realized, but he was determined, for his daughter's sake, that he would do whatever it took to ensure the vampire survived this latest crisis. If this was the only way to get blood into the vampire then so be it. He would sit there as long as it took.

"Angel is attempting to create a likeness of the demon that attacked you. As soon as we know what it was, we can affect an antidote to the poison that was obviously on its claws. If you knew I was here you would undoubtedly be amazed at the lengths I'm willing to go to bring you back to Buffy. She loves you. Dawn loves you. They both need you so badly. I sincerely regret my actions last year and can only hope that when you awaken from this state you will find it in you to forgive me." Having finally gotten that painful confession off his conscience, Rupert was able to move on to less emotional topics. He continued with the feeding while telling his former enemy some of the more humorous tales of recreating the Watchers Council. Midway through the mug, he set it aside and stood to stretch his cramping muscles. He had been at it for well over an hour and the painstaking procedure was tiring but he refused to let it deter him. Rupert would have been stunned to know that the body he was talking to was not as unaware as he believed.

Spike listened to the watcher talk. He'd woken as soon as the first straw full of blood had trickled down his throat. His starving body absorbed the nourishment greedily as he listened to the surprising monologue of the man who'd tried to kill him the last time they'd spent any time together. All panic he'd felt over his condition had been somewhat allayed by the news that he'd been poisoned by the demon's claws. He'd never seen one like it before so he would be useless in the search for its identity. He just hoped they found the answer quickly. He didn't know how long he would hold onto his sanity trapped inside his own body as he was. He felt the older man move away and a flicker of fear crossed his mind before he realized that Giles was merely taking a break. The stream of conversation continued and Spike's mind settled down to listen. The trickle of blood resumed and Giles's voice faded as Spike felt himself drift into a mental snooze.

Downstairs.

Angel and Jake were both bent over sketchpads listening intently to Cordelia and Willow describe the demon that had so thoroughly thrashed Spike. They had agreed to each attempt to capture the likeness in order to double the chances of identifying it. Lorne came in to check to see if more of the vital human blood was required. He was distressed to hear that Spike was in a non-responsive coma. Krista followed close behind the Pylean and was equally upset over Spike's condition.

Xander and Faith were working together to repair the destroyed front doors. Gunn, Fred and Wesley were continuing the clean up. They were scrubbing furiously at the dried blood on the marble flooring. Buffy had kept a silent vigil at Spike's bedside all night and had lain down to try for some much needed sleep.

Giles came down with the empty mug and sat next to Dawn wearily. The teenager slipped an arm through his and snuggled up to him.

"How is he?" She asked quietly.

"There's been some healing but he's still comatose." Rupert told her. "I did manage to get the entire mug into him. It should help but he needs more."

Dawn took the mug from his hand and stood up. "I'll do it."

Giles rose to follow her into the kitchen. "I'll show you how I was doing it." He demonstrated the way he'd fed the unconscious vampire. She nodded and took the refilled mug upstairs.

Outside the door, Dawn stopped with a momentary attack of nerves. Bowing her head she reminded herself how lucky they all were to have him back in their lives. "Whatever it takes." She whispered and entered the room.

She could see the improvement in Spike's appearance. The bruising was fading and the cut under his eye was almost completely gone.

"Hey, Spike." Dawn sat down in the chair and ran loving eyes over his motionless profile. "Giles says you have to eat more so it's my turn to keep you company." She began a stream of mindless one-sided conversation. She told him everything that had happened since the collapse of Sunnydale, putting a humorous spin on the tale and downplaying the sorrow, fear and loneliness she'd felt in his absence. While she talked, she fed him the blood slowly as the watcher had demonstrated. After almost an hour, she faltered in her monologue.

"Spike, I know I was pretty bitchy to you those last few months. I want you to know I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I would never have set you on fire. I love you. I've always loved you. You're the big brother I never had and I've missed you so much. But you left without a word and I was hurt. Then Xander told me what happened and I just kinda freaked. I know the truth now and it's okay. I understand. Buffy was so guilt ridden the first few months. She's changed. It's almost like I have a brand new sister. She cares again and she loves you. God, Spike, losing you almost destroyed her. Please come back, we can't lose you again." She forced her shaking hands to place the mug on the bedside table. Dissolving into tears, she lowered her head down to the edge of the bed. She clasped his lifeless hand between both of hers, brought it up to her face and lay there letting her tears soak into the bedding.

'It's okay, Niblet. I love you too. Tell them to hurry up and find the bloody demon and everything will be good. I'm not going anywhere.' Spike tried to move but gave up in defeat. He felt an unaccustomed feeling of helplessness as he listened to the teenager weep. 'Don't cry, Bit. I'm here. I'm here.'

When Jake came up to check on his girlfriend, he was unsurprised by the evidence of her crying jag. He came up behind her and rubbed her shoulders consolingly.

"He'll be fine. As long as he's not dust there's a chance. The sketches are done and Mr. Giles and Wesley are searching the books for the demon. Cordelia and Fred are running it through the computer. We'll find it. I promise." He murmured in her ear. "I have a feeling he won't be this quiet for long. Think maybe we should enjoy it while we can?" He teased.

Inwardly the sight of his friend so still and statue-like was frightening. Even before Will had gotten his memory, he'd never been completely still. Bobbing his foot while reading. Tapping his fingers to tunes heard only in his own head. Jake had gotten used to the slender body in front of him being in some sort of motion all the time. The artist glanced over and noticed that the mug was empty again. A small leap of relief surged through Jake's heart. At least Will was feeding. As long as that happened they could get him back. He picked up the thermal container they'd been using to prevent the blood from cooling off too much during the long, laborious process of feeding him.

Dawn tipped her head back and smiled at her boyfriend. Even though the circumstances of Spike's return had been confusing, painful and elating, the teenager would always be grateful she'd found Jake in the process.

"I've never known him to be quiet for long so I guess we should enjoy the peace while it lasts." She took the mug. "I should go fill this up. It's going in so slowly it can't be that filling for him." She left to get the refill.

Spike mentally snickered. 'Thanks Mate. Make her laugh. That's the only way to keep her spirits up. Now if we could do something about mine… Now that it's just us blokes. Don't mind telling you…getting kinda scared in here.' He let his attention shift back to his friend.

Jake sat down in the chair vacated by Dawn. "Since there's no one here to call me poofy." He muttered, picking up Spike's cool, limp hand. "If you could see this, I'd be in for so much grief from you. 'Poofy'. Now there's a word I would never have used until after I met you. And what is it you think you needed to thank me for? Hmmm? The painting I sent you? That was an attempt to kick you in the ass. Besides, can you blame me for wanting to paint Dawn? She's gorgeous. If nothing else, having you in my life led me to her and for that I'll be forever grateful. Do you know how lonely the mountain is now? These last few weeks have been so quiet it's been driving me…what was your expression? Oh yeah, bug shagging crazy. I've missed you, pal. I find myself coming back to see Dawn so that I can get away from all that silence. Oh, I hate to be the bearer of bad news but Manchester U. has lost their last two games. Don't know if you knew that." He launched into a recital of what had been happening over the past few weeks.

Spike quickly understood that as long as someone was talking to him he could keep the panic at bay. As soon as silence descended, the feeling that he would be trapped like this forever returned and he skated on the edges of madness when that happened. He listened to Jake ramble and tried to relax. One thought surfaced when he realized that Jake was still holding his hand.

'Poof.' But he wasn't sure if he was describing himself for desperately craving the contact or his friend for needing it just as much. He tried to curl his fingers around the strong slender hand clasping his and mentally groaned in despair when his body remained stubbornly still.

Xander and Faith took a break from their repair work to grab a bite to eat in the kitchen. They looked up from their lunch when Dawn entered the room. Xander stood up to hug the obviously upset teenager.

"Dawnie, are you all right." The former carpenter asked in concern.

She sniffled. "I'm fine. I was with Spike. He's just so still, so quiet." She told them. She moved over to the refrigerator and got out another bag of blood to heat for Spike.

"Hey, why don't you take a break, Faith and I will go up and take care of the bleached one. It's got to be hard on you seeing him like that." While Xander hadn't been up to see Spike, he'd heard about the vampire's condition from Giles. "Why don't you go check on the Buffster?" He suggested.

Dawn nodded and showed her friends the painstaking method of feeding her vampire. Xander told her it would not be a problem and inclined his head toward his girlfriend. He stopped at that thought, his girlfriend. A silly smile lit his face as the dark haired slayer followed him up the stairs. They entered the room as Jake was finishing a story. The artist looked up curiously.

"Dawnie's feeling a little ragged. We told her we'd take care of this feeding." Xander explained, considerately ignoring the hand Jake had clasped around Spike's.

"I'll go down and see if she needs me for anything. You guys gonna be okay here?" Jake dropped Spike's hand and stood up. "I'll be back later, buddy." He told Spike.

Spike's mood took a downward swing. 'Don't leave.' He silently pleaded. The plea went unheard.

Xander sat in the vacated chair. Faith perched on the edge of the bed at the end. She sat for a moment looking at Spike. His bruised torso was still bare so the claw marks could be monitored. The gouges in Spike's abdomen looked raw and angry and didn't seem to be healing at all. His face was almost back normal. She could see what Buffy saw in him, he was very nice to look at. Her taste ran more toward dark haired men though. She glanced at Xander, surprised yet again that she found him so much more attractive now than she had before.

Just when Spike was beginning to believe they would let him spiral down into the madness that seemed to be constantly beckoning, Faith began to talk to him.

"Hey, Blondie. Guess this is what you'd call tag-team vamp sitting. They say that if you talk to people who are in comas they remember what you say. Don't know if that holds true for vamps though. I just know that when I was in a coma there wasn't anyone talking to me. I'm pretty sure it got kinda lonely, not that I remember much of it. Don't know you that well though so I'm not sure what it is I'm supposed to say. I do know that you better get over this or patrol will never be the same. Did you know you're getting a rep in the demon world? I was in Caritas the other night after patrol and overheard some demons talking about the super-vamp that's out killing other demons. They don't know what you are but they don't want to meet up with you." Faith rambled on a bit while Xander fed the motionless vampire.

"Well, I'm all talked out so I'm gonna leave you alone with my man here. Don't do anything I'd get mad over okay?" With that teasing shot, Faith went back downstairs. Xander watched her leave with a besotted look on his face.

"Spike, I have to tell you. You coming back certainly brought some interesting couples about. I mean, I never in a million years thought Faith would find me attractive. Wesley is seeing your friend Susan. She's really nice. Jake and Dawn have been going out, which surprised the hell out of me since he's so much older than she is but she pulled the 'your boyfriend is a hundred years older' card and Buffy really didn't have a defense. Don't know if Willow is seeing anyone but she and Giles have been hanging out together a lot. Now there's a thought to give someone a case of the wiggins." Xander continued trickling blood into Spike's mouth while he chatted.

Spike found himself drifting on the edges of consciousness while Xander talked. Regardless of his actions during the confusing time after his memories returned, the Whelp would never be his first choice in companion but right now he'd take whomever he could get just to keep the silence away.

He thought he must have slept for a bit because the next voice he heard was that of his Sire. Angel had apparently replaced Xander on what Spike was now terming 'vamp watch'. At this point, Spike was desperately wishing the old lore about the 'Sire/Childe' bond were true just so he would have someone who knew he was awake and aware.

"Spike, I wish you could hear me." Angel was saying.

'I can, you old Poof.' Spike's sense of humor was wearing very thin.

"I want to tell you I'm sorry. Sorry I left you alone. I didn't know there would be an attack."

'What? You can predict these things now? Get over yourself.' Spike thought derisively.

"I'm sorry about the amulet, about how I treated you all those years." Angel was confessing all his sins, imagined and real.

Spike snorted mentally. 'Next you'll be sobbing and prostrating yourself begging an empty shell for forgiveness.' To his horror he heard a hiccupping sob erupt from the elder vampire. 'I was kidding, git. Bloody buggering hell!' The thought crossed his mind that silence was better than this.

Angel sniffled and tried to compose himself. He felt an increasing sense of futility the longer Spike remained in this state. He tried dredging up the old hatred he'd felt for this Childe but his never-ending guilt squashed all attempts at distancing himself from the situation. He had the feeling that they needed to identify the demon soon or Spike would be trapped forever. He dragged his hands over his face and took a deep unneeded breath. Spike didn't need this; he needed support so he did something he swore he never would. He began talking about the old days. Reminiscing about the time they'd spent together.

'That's better. Talk about the old days. Anything but the silence. God, Sire, get me out of this. I'm losing it and fast. Don't know how much longer I can do this. I need to touch someone. I need to talk. Please tell them to hurry!' Spike could feel his mental state deteriorating. Hopelessness was invading his very consciousness and he felt powerless in its grasp.

Hours later, Lorne knocked on the door, interrupting Angel's one-sided conversation. The dark vampire had been slowly feeding Spike, as had all his other visitors. The constant influx of blood going a long way toward healing everything except the claw marks. Those remained red and irritated. It was now twenty-four hours since the attack and desperation had been driving the crew for the past twelve of it.

"They need you downstairs, Angelcakes. They have a line on the demon. I'll sit with blond and beautiful here." The gentle green demon rubbed Angel's shoulders for a moment.

"Thanks, Lorne." Angel took the empty mug with him and left his friend alone with his childe.

"Well, you certainly know how to concentrate attention on your luscious self don't you, Cupcake?" Lorne busied himself getting comfortable before actually taking a look at the inert figure in front of him.

'Hey, Green. Glad to hear you. Was getting kinda tired of listening to the old Poof. What's been happening? They know what kind of wanker that was did me in, do they?' Spike's internal greeting was weary.

Lorne turned his attention to the motionless vampire in the bed. His red eyes teared when he got a good look at Spike's aura. "Oh my God. I didn't know. I wish I'd come earlier." He moved to sit on the bed, careful not to jostle the still injured torso. He picked Spike's hand up and squeezed it gently. He put his other hand to the side of Spike's expressionless face. "I'm here now."