PARTY ON DOWN IT'S PART CINQUE AND HU IS HORTENSE LESTRANGE?!?

LAST LINE OF PART 4

"Weird place to meet, eh Potter?"

PART 5 OF 'FLYING THE NEST'

She held out a hand to Harry, shifting from her sprawled position on Malfoy's lap, who said, "Mind your elbow!" Harry stared at the offered hand.

"Lestrange," he said, coldly. "Bellatrix-"

"-is not related." said Hortense, firmly. "Very un-related. I'm Draco's second cousin. And I'm Bulgarian." Harry tensed. Malfoy flicked onto a Channel 4 breakfast show, unconcernedly.

"Oh for Merlin's sake." she pulled a wand out of its hiding place in her left boot. Harry flinched. Why had he hidden his own in his room? But Hortense, to Harry's great astonishment and Malfoy's absolute utter disinterest, pointed it at herself and muttered, "finite incantatem!"

Harry blinked. Where 'Emma' had been seconds before, a girl who looked like she could've been Malfoy's older sister had taken her place. She had long, silvery blonde hair, and an impossibly clear, pale complexion like marble, though unlike Malfoy her eyes were very dark green. Also, this woman was at least 22 or 23. Harry gaped at her. Malfoy was still absorbed in a Hollyoaks re-run. Hortense was rubbing her throat. "Vot did you vink I vos going to do? De killing curse?" she complained, the Blugarian accent now startlingly apparent.

"Well..."

"Haff you at least de good grace to shake hand vith me now?"

"Oh! Yeah, sorry..." Harry and Hortense shook hands.

"A concealement charm," she explained, clambering off Malfoy and checking her beer bottle for dregs. "You could use vun on your scar, you never know, you might haff less headaches."

Harry sat up. "How do you know about that? And what the hell was that with those muggles? Wizards I've got used to but -what the bloody hell's going on?"

Hortense stared at him for a moment. "You veely don't know, do you?" she said increduously. Harry was completely bewildered. Hortense kicked Malfoy. "Go get de books."

"I haven't got any!" said Malfoy indignantly, going uncharacteristically pink. Hortense folded her arms sternly.

"Yes, you haff."

Malfoy heaved himself laboriously off the sofa and stalked off to his room. Harry could hear him grumbling to himself, shifting things. Hortense picked her nails idly. Malfoy returned staggering under the weight of an enormous crate of books. Hortense conjured a cushion, and reclined like a long, blonde cat on it. Harry peered curiously into the box. Malfoy was shifting school textbooks onto the sofa, including: "A mesmerising muddle: how muggles make magic" "NEWT level muggle studies for British life" "Magical creatures: a diary of dragons internationally" "Awfully advanced Quidditch" and "Arithmancy for brainiacs." At the bottom, underneath "The standard book of spelled: Duelling edition", seemed to be several muggle fiction novels, including, to Harry's surprise, "The Lord of the Rings".

"Here," said Malfoy brusquely, dumping a handful of brightly coloured books into Harry's lap, adding bitterly, "no wonder your head's so fat."

Harry stared at the book on the top of the pile. "What on-?" Staring up at him was the title: "Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, by J K Rowling". The illustration sported what he considered a very unflattering caricature of -himself. He opened it warily. And was astonished to discover Vernon and Petunia Dursley of Number 4, Privet Drive.

Shaking, stunned, he scanned the covers of the four remaining books.

"Sixth one must be taking longer to write. It's not out yet. Stupid woman," said Malfoy moodily, "dunno why she's got it in for me. She should have catalogued my life. See how she liked that." He growled in disgust and stared moodily at the offending pile.

Hortense suddenly snorted with laughter. "Malfoy de incredible bouncing ferret!" she giggled. "Book...four," she said to Harry.

"What IS this?!" Harry demanded, confused, "who wrote them?!"

"It's muggle fiction. Vell, a vitch vote it, obviously. Must haff thought your life vould make a good story. Of course, most vizards haff no idea these books exist. You vink you are famous as de boy who lived? Ha! No vunder Heidi and Cassy ver so ...gobsmacked, ven brains here first let his name slip."

"How was I supposed to know I'm in some bloody muggle fairytale?" said Malfoy, grumpily.

"So- so let me get this straight. Some witch has been following me my whole life, writing me down, and making a profit out of it in the muggle world!?"

"I don't know vot else I can say. Is de curse of fame," said Hortense.

"But-" BLEEP BLIP BLIP BLEEP!

They all jumped. Hortense took an impossibly small mobile phone out of her pocket, checked the caller, pointed her wand at herself again and said "Samantha." The transformation was instantaneous. Samantha had short, red hair and zillions of freckles.

"Samantha's phone? Ooh David! Yes I'm on my way there now!" she shut it again and with as casual, "see you, kid" to Malfoy, and "nice meeting you Potter," she disapparated with a loud crack and was gone.
END OF PART 5! I KNOW IT WAS A BIT LONG BUT I GOT CARRIED AWAY IN MY IDEA THAT HARRY WAS A BOOK CHARACTER AND ALSO EXISTED IN REAL LIFE -SORRY. LOL TO BE CONTINUED!
Thanks to queenheidi69 for the lovely review! thank you! lol I was very surprised so I got writing straight away to bring you the next part!

Also: thanks to the girls in NYC for their contribution -I had no idea people in other countries were reading this so I was very surprised!

Keep your eyes peeled for the next part, love skinnyrita xxxx