A/N ok guys...I really really wanted to update cuz I came back from my trip early and there were all these reviews and stuff...Also I won an award! So I was excited. So here's part 1 of chapter 9 bc I'm not finished with chapter 9, so this hasn't been beta-ed or anything...But I'll fixed all the mistakes and all that after it's been beta-ed and after it's been finished.

Other than brief glimpses Buffy didn't see Spike all during the next two weeks. A new legal assistant, Andrew, was hired, and Buffy helped train the nervous young man.

On her last day a teary-eyed Tara came in the office and said, " I hope you change your mind. I'm gonna miss you so much." She cast a speculative eye toward Angel's closed office door. "I'm sure Angel's going to miss you, too…Oh! By the way, Spike wants to see you in his office. You better not make him wait."

Angel had made several attempts in the past two weeks to bribe her into staying, but Buffy had stood unwaveringly by her decision. Although it had been an impulsive act, it was the right thing to do.

Buffy reached for a pad and pen before starting toward Spike's office, although she highly doubted he expected her to take notes. When she arrived at his office Anya hurriedly waved her in.

She found Spike standing at the window, his back to her. His hands were clasped behind him, the pose he assumed when he was thinking or when something was troubling him. She wondered if he found her departure upsetting, then decided if that was the case he'd have said so long before now.

"You wanted to see me?" she asked quietly, almost afraid to break the silence.

He turned around and offered her a reassuring smile. "Yes, please sit down." He motioned toward the chair, then claimed the seat behind his desk. He reached for an envelope and handed it to her.

"It's your paycheck," he explained. "I took the liberty of adding a small bonus."

"That wasn't necessary," she said, surprised by the gesture.

"I never claimed it was."

"Really, Spike," she began hesitantly, " you didn't have-"

"I wanted to," he interrupted. "You've been a great help to the firm, and I don't-"

"Please, don't do this," Buffy calmly said as she stared at her shoes.

"Fine then," he said clearing his throat. "Uh, have you found another position yet?"

"Nope," she said, popping the p. "As of 5 o'clock today, I'm an jobless-Buffy." Working every day had made searching for a job almost impossible. There would be time enough for that later, in the days and weeks to follow.

"I see," he said unemotionally. "If you'd like, I'd be happy to write you a letter recommendation."

"I'd appreciate that, but I plan on moving to the east coast…I have friends that live there…" Buffy trailed off softly.

"Oh."

"Yea…I was thinking about starting something new. As much as I love the law thing, I think I wanna try something else."

His eyes revealed a sadness Buffy had never seen before, his smile bittersweet. "Well, you were pretty good at the 'law thing.' I'm sure you'll be good at whatever you decide to do." He sighed deeply and ran a hand through his hair. "If you ever need anything-"

"I know," she interrupted softly, her eyes downcast.

She slowly turn and walked away. She hesitated for a moment at the door, her hand poised on the knob, forcing down the tears in her eyes. They could wait until she got home.

"Good bye, William," Buffy whispered so quietly that Spike barely heard her.

"Good bye, Buffy…I really wish thing were different…If they were, I could really lo-" He stopped when he realized she was already gone.

"I can't believe you just left it like that." Cordy was outraged, pacing Buffy's living room like a caged tiger. She hadn't been able to stand still from the moment Buffy had told her about her last meeting with Spike.

"What did you expect me to say? It's not like I could've done anything else! God, Cordy!" Buffy stood up. She'd had enough. "If he had a shred of feeling for me, this would have been a golden opportunity for him to say something. But he didn't! Cordy, he doesn't love me!" Tears started forming in her eyes somewhere throughout her rant, but now they were full out sobs. "Why doesn't he love me?"

She fell to the ground in a heap. Cordy kneeled down next her, holding her as she cried. She stroked her hair for a moment and whispered comforting words in her ear. "He's an idiot…I mean his name is Spike for the love of God! He can't even stand up to his brother for-" Cordy stopped, her eyes widening as she realized something before standing up. "You are so stupid!"

"Way to comfort me," Buffy mumbled as she grabbed a Kleenex.

"I'm serious…Does he know you're not seeing Angel?"

"What? Of course!"

"How can you be so sure? Did you tell him?" Cordy questioned quickly, her eyes narrowing.

"No," she said quietly as she sniffled softly.

Cordy lifted her hand in frustration. "Well, duh! You cunt face! He thinks you're still dating his brother."

"I never was dating his brother! Plus, he's gone out with that Darla chic twice this week. Spike knows that. Me and Angel are just friends! There was no dating! No dating whatsoever!" She stood up and stomped her foot a little. "We're very non-datey!"

"I thought you told me you and Angel were going sailing this weekend?" Cordy asked curiously, sitting down on the couch for the first time since she arrived.

"Not this weekend. Next," Buffy said, joining the party on the couch.

"Aha!" Her friend slapped the end of the coffee table. "There's the dateyness! Wait, that makes no sense…" she trailed off.

"Cordy," she sighed, "just leave it. I probably won't be seeing Spike again. I mean, I'm moving in like two weeks. Apparently that's how he wants it. I couldn't have been more obvious about how I felt."

"No apparent! You could've-" she stopped and shook her head sadly. "I guess I must be more of a romantic than I realized. I was so sure he was in love with you. I was so confident I was right, I guess, because I wanted to be. I've waited all these years for you to fall in love, to be truly in love, and now that you have…" Her voice faded as a frown ruled her features. "I was so very sure," she whispered, the puzzled expression growing more intense as though she didn't understand, even now, what could possibly have gone wrong.

"This is a treat," Buffy said sitting across the table from her mother in their favorite restaurant.

Joyce spread the linen napkin on her lap and smiled. "I'm gonna miss you so much, baby. I just don't understand why you-"

"Quit my job?" she finished. "Mom," she sighed. "I had to."

"Why, Buffy?"

"Everyone was trying to force Angel on me, and I didn't want that…" Her eyes watered as she played with her napkin. "I wanted Spike," she admitted in a whisper.

"Oh, Buffy," she began in her very best motherly voice "I'm so very-"

"Mom, please, let's just not," Buffy interrupted, not wanting to talk about it anymore.

"Ok then," she relented with a sad smile. "That's not why I asked you here."