PotC: the Curse of the Crazy Dungeon Monkey

James & Saraman

One day, Will Turner and a pirate, Captain Jack Sparrow, were in a duel of sword fighting. When Jack realized that Will could break the pirates' curse, he decided to use him as leverage to get his ship back. Therefore, he did a very naughty thing to Will. He hypnotized him.

"Will," said Jack, "look deep into my eyes."

"Not on your life, pirate!" snapped Will. Nevertheless, Jack overwhelmed him and got his attention.

"You will be in love with Elizabeth Swann until I say the word 'leverage'." Will was in love!

A few weeks later, Jack and Will were in Tortuga trying to get a crew to sail with them to go after the pirates. Jack talked to Mr. Gibbs while Will stood guard behind a pillar.

"Now, what's the nature of this venture of yours?" asked Mr. Gibbs.

"First -- have you found me a crew?" said Jack, fingering the handle of his flagon.

"Oh, there's a hard tale, Jack. Most of the decent pirates in town won't sail with you -- seem to think you're a jinx."

"Now where, I wonder, would they have gotten that idea?"

Mr. Gibbs evaded answering by taking a long sip. Jack leaned forward. Mr. Gibbs leaned forward.

"I'm going after the Black Pearl," said Jack casually.

Gibbs straightened up as if he had been hit, staring. He reached for the drink as if to down it -- but then set it back down. Jack had not moved.

"Say again?" he said, examining Jack incredulously.

"I'm going after the Black Pearl. I know where it's going to be, and I'm going to take it."

"Jack, it's a fool's errand," said Mr. Gibbs. "You've heard the tales they tell about the Pearl."

"Aye, and that's why I know where it's going to be, and that's why I know what Barbossa is up to. All I need is a crew."

Mr. Gibbs shook his head.

"It's a fool's errand."

"Not if the fool has something Barbossa wants. Something he needs."

"And you've got that, have you?"

Jack, as he smiled enigmatically, shifted his eyes -- behind him, Will, still on guard, glared a sailor away from the table.

"Let's just say it's a matter of leverage," said Jack. "Back there, guarding the door is the son of old Bootstrap Bill Turner."

Gibbs' eyes widened over the edge of the tankard as he peered at Will.

"Well, lookee there. I'll allow you may be onto something, Jack. There's bound to be sailors on this rock crazy as you. I'll find us a crew."

Gibbs and Jack downed their drinks, and slammed their tankards on the table.

All at once, Will stepped out from behind the pillar with an oar in hand.

"Sorry, Jack," said Will, who had snapped out of the hypnosis when Jack said 'leverage'. "I won't be your leverage!"

With that, he walloped Jack over the head and took off. When Jack awoke, he noticed that he was alone in the tavern. The only other person was Mr. Gibbs, pouring himself another drink.

"Where'd the kid go?" asked Jack.

"Oh," answered Mr. Gibbs, "he's half-way to India by now."

Suddenly, a very nasty idea hit Jack like a bolt of lightening.

"Mr. Gibbs," said Jack, with a wry smile, "your new name is Will Turner." He broke a rum bottle over Mr. Gibb's head and sold him to Captain Barbossa, who promptly gave the order:

"Throw 'im in the dungeon with the crazy dungeon monkey!"

A while later, Commodore Norrington, Governor Swann, and Elizabeth were down by the harbor and Jack Sparrow was about to get, "exactly what he deserved," in the words of Commodore Norrington. Unexpectedly, Will Turner approached them and addressed them kindly:

"Commodore, Governor Swann, Elizabeth. I should have told you every day since the moment I met you. I hate you!"

With that, he turned and went to rescue Jack. After he helped Jack escape, Elizabeth ran up to him and squealed:

"Kiss me! I love you!" Will was disgusted! He punched her lights out, while the Commodore stood by jealously, because he wanted to do that. Afterwards, Will shoved Governor Swann, Elizabeth, and the Commodore off the top of the harbor. They fell shrieking (mostly Governor Swann) towards the ocean hundreds of feet below. Presently, they plunged into the bay creating a simply massive wave.

Not far away were Captain Jack Sparrow and his first mate Barbossa with their crew on the Black Pearl.

"Ah," said Barbossa, "three castaways. What about some new prisoners for Jack, the Crazy Dungeon Monkey, to torture?"

"Aye," said Jack. "Let's go pick 'em up. But first, we must release Mr. Gibbs!" They took Mr. Gibbs out of the brig and removed the chains from his wrists. Captain Jack Sparrow hurriedly approached him and said:

"You are free!" He pushed him off the boat and they sailed over to the three who were still swimming towards the beach.

"We're saved!" said Governor Swann. The pirates then pulled them up out of the water and onto the deck.

"Not more pirates!" said the Commodore.

"Help! Help! Help!" they could hear coming from where they first saw the ship.

"Mr. Gibbs?" said Elizabeth.

"Throw them in the dungeon with the Crazy Dungeon Monkey!" commanded Captain Jack Sparrow.

"What?" questioned Elizabeth. Some pirates grabbed them and tossed them in, chaining them up so they could not move. At last, they let the monkey, 'Jack', in to torture them. He jumped on their heads and pulled Elizabeth's hair. He turned the Commodore's wig around and ripped off Governor Swann's, waving it wildly about. He tortured them until new prisoners came. (This was not for 50 years.)

Finis