Disclaimer: Chikus does not own any of the cannon characters that you see and recognize. We do own though how we portray them and the pointless blabbering.

Chikus: Ok, here are the notes of the Fab Four during their sixth year at Hogwarts when listening, well trying to listen, to Professor Binns in History of Magic class. James is in italics, Peter is regular, Sirius is bold, and Remus is unerlined.

James: Hello. Calling all marauders. Everyone here?

Peter: Present!

Sirius: I'm here.

Remus: What now?

J: It has come to my attention that there is a Hogsmede trip coming up.

P: And?

J: Well, who are you guys going to ask?

P: I bet I know who James is asking...

(James throws a piece of parchment which flies over the students, hitting Peter smack in the forehead)

P: Hey! That hurt.

J: Deserved it Wormtail

R: Must you state the obvious Wormtail?

S: I hadn't really thought about it.

R: Not even when those two Hufflepuffs where hanging onto your robes and practically begging you to take them?

S: You know, I completely forgot about that.

R: I wish we all had that luxury.

J: Hmm what about, whats her name...McKinnon, Padfoot? Ive heard she is a rather good snogger.

P: I don't think I am going to ask anyone...Last time I did, she just laughed at me and said it was a great joke.

J: Bad luck Wormtail. So Moony, what about you?

S: Well, from my experience, she is actually rather lousy at it...Anyway, she doesn't talk enough.

R: Since when do you go on dates to talk to people? Everytime I run into you on a date your mouth is usually occupied...

S: That's not true...Well...mostly...But I do like to hold intelligent conversations with the opposite sex once in a while.

R: Sure Padfoot. Anyway, I have somebody in mind, but I don't know yet...

J: What kind of conversation Padfoot? The most I have heard you ask a girl is what kind of underwear she was wearing. Oooh, Moony. Do tell.

P: Hmmm maybe I'll ask Walden. She is nice enough to help me with potions sometimes

J: Good luck with that one Pete!

P: Is she really that out of my league?

James: coughs

S: You and Walden Wormtail?

(Sirius bursts out in a fit of laughter that earns him menacing looks from the professor and surrounding students.)

R: Her name is Alexis Taylor. You've met her a couple times in the common room.

S: I don't know Prongs...Sometimes I just get tired off snogging and being chased after by girls...I can't believe I just said that.

(James topples out of his seat, reading Sirius last note, getting some rather strange looks and chuckles. James waves, celebrity like, to the surrounding students, giving Lily a big wink and dashing smile)

J: Are you feeling alright Padfoot? You aren't going, well, you know...the happy way on me are you? If you know what I mean...if you are that is fine...I wouldn't

P: WHAT! SIRIUS YOU ARE GAY!

(Sirius pulls out his wand and sends a spell at Peter that causes him to bang his head into his desk making all of his books fall to the floor.)

S: Considering you're the one who has never been out with a girl, I would watch what you say Wormtail. And no, I'm not going happy, but it gets tiring for a man as popular as me to snog twenty-four hours a day. Even I deserve a little break sometimes...

R: Right...Poor little Padfoot...

J: Alright Padfoot, no need for mortal injuries on Wormtail here.

(Professor Binns stops lecturing and glares at Peter."Eh, sorry Professor, I was eagerly writing notes, and I er...dropped my books?" Seeming to be satasfied, the proffessor continued, in his normal monotone)

P: (Has dazed expression on face) Ha ha Sirius, do you like making a complete fool of me? (note sarcasm) And it wasn't that funny Padfoot about Walden. Just because she won't go out with you, doesn't mean she'll won't go out with me.

J: Peter, just stop before you dig yourself into a deeper hole. You should definetly ask her Moony. She has been giving you gaga eyes none stop the entire class.

S: It hardly takes effort to make you look foolish Wormtail, and I could get Anna to go with me if I wanted to take her.

R: This is starting to sound more and more like a bet.

S: Not a bad idea Moony. So what do you say Wormtail, you up for a little contest?

R: Why did I even open my mouth? Oh well, atleast it will be entertaining to watch.

(Remus turns and takes a quick glance to where Alexis is sitting. She blushes as their eyes meet and turns away quickly...)

R: Wow...That's the first time that has ever happened. I think I'll ask her after class...

P: Bring it on Padfoot. I bet you a months supply of chocolate frogs she will go with me instead of you. Girls like the cute pudgy fellows.

J: Just keep telling yourself that Peter... I dont know about the bet though, Walden might just go out with Peter just because she'll sympathize with him. And told you so Moony. Never doubt the relationship advice of James Potter.

P: I resent that Prongs and you should be giving out advice because you are doing so well with Lily right?

J: Speaking of dear Lily flower, I must write her an invatation to Hogsmede, excuse my momentary abscence.

P: He's hopless. So how about it Padfoot? I see you are remaining rather quite.

S: My level of quietness only reflects my contemplation of whether or not I wish to squash all your little hopes and dreams my dear Wormtail...But, seeing as I've never turned down a bet, or lost one for that matter, I gladly accept.

R: Ok, ok...Thanks Prongs.

S: Lily Flower?

R: Lily Flower?

(Sirius and Remus exchange amused glances and try to stiffle their laughter.)

P: Cheese?...Alright Padfoot. Try not to cry too much when you loose.

(A rather intricately folded piece of parchment flutters over to Lily)

J: Phase one is officially under way. And yes Lily flower! You couldn't expect me to call her Evans all the time would you? I would love to call her honey buns or sugar lump, but those result in either a slap on the face, or something a little lower if you catch my drift.

P: She's hit you in the jewels! That is awful.

J: Yeah...but you should see how cute she looks when she gets all mad...

S: You're serious then? Alright my friend, but don't get mad when this all over and done with. And by the way, you are far away from being considered cute...And pudgy would be an understatement...

R: Well, I suppose Lily Flower is better than honey buns or sugar lump...

S: Prongs, what is your malfunction? Since when have you wanted to be kicked in the jewels in order to see her get all "cute" and mad?

J: If you saw her the way I saw her it would all be worth it. And she only did it once, when I put my arm around her last year and she thought I was going to reach for something else. She apologized later.

P: Aww...I think I rember that. You were rolling on the floor on the verge of tears.

J: I was not on the verge of tears! Lets see how you take it when someone kicks you in the baby maker. Ooh I have mail from Lily flower.

S: Don't waste your time Prongs...I doubt he has ever had any physical contact with a girl and his baby maker...Even violent contact...

P: Hmmm do you think Walden is a romantic or would she like a more direct approach?

R: Are you sure you want to get yourself into this Wormtail? I mean, you are already asking for advice...

S: She'll like whatever I do...It is a know fact that girls can't resist my charms.

R: Could you be any more full of yourself?

S: Well, I suppose I could. It isn't a bad thing to have a healthy self image you know...

R: If self-image related to being healthy, I daresay you would be immortal.

S: Hahaha...So Prongs, what does Lily Flower have to say?

(James is seen opening a note from his Lily flower and a few seconds elapse then ink squirts all over his face, dripping off his glasses and hairand leaving him with two dark circles surrounding his eyes. Evans and Walden can both be seen covering their mouths doing their absolute best to stifle their laughter)

P: Well I take it from that, that she said no

S: No Wormtail, I think that was more like a hell no...

R: I would have to agree with Sirius...It certainly doesn't seem like she's interested, but you enjoy the "cute" way she looks when she isn angry anyway right James? This should be right up your alley then...

J: Ughh, I am now temporarily blind. This crap stings like Hell! I haven't even read the entire note yet you dolt! You could thank your lovely Walden you two for giving Lily the idea. Were the hell did they learn that hex?

P: Hmmm going for the racoon look Prongs. I think you might be able to pull it off...

J: Shut it Wormtail! Ughhh it burns! How long do you think this ink will stay on?

S: Man James, you whine more than Snape after being hit by a stunning spell...

R: Why don't you just use the scourgify spell on yourself and clean it off? Even I have to admit that it is a little pathetic to hear the infamous James Potter whinning because of a little ink in the eyes...

S: And it isn't my fault Walden decided to tell Lily about that hex...How could I have know it would have been turned against one of it's creators?

J: How thick do you think I am Remus J. Lupin! Of course I already used Scorgify, which had absolutely no effect but putting soap in my eyes, further adding to my discomfort. They must have altered the hex in some way. Damn their brilliance... And Padfoot, don't ever compare me to Snivellus, or you might find your favorite boxers in the hands of your obsessed fan club.

P: A most deadly combination; hot girls with brains.

J: Amen to that Wormtail. Now do you guys think Lily and Anna would look better with pink or purple hair? If they are thinking that they can get away with this without any retaliation, they are sadly mistaken

P: Anna pink, Lily purple. But if they ask, it wasn't my suggestion...

J: Moony? Padfoot? What say you two? What should the all so lovely wavy red locks of Lillian Evans and Anastasia's glossy brown strands be altered to?

R: Well, you have to be pretty thick to keep thinking that after these seven years of constant hexing and humiliation you stand a chance with Lily. Either that or you are simply the most stubborn person I've ever met and refuse to stop until she gives into you out of sheer desperation...Either way, I do have to say that I admire you relentless determination and wish you nothing but the best...Whatever that may be...

S: Are you kidding Prongs? I give out my boxers as Christmas presents. What would loosing one more pair do to me? And I think that Lily would look better with Green hair, and Anna, well, I think she'd look better with yellow.

R: Not that I'm participating in this little charade of yours, but I'm partial to orange and yellow...

J: Great. Now it is undecided. Ok who's hair should be yellow, that is the only color we seem to be mutual on. And Lily with green hair would match lovely with her eyes. And Sirius, why do you want Anna's hair yellow? Curious to see her as a blonde.

P: Doesn't matter to me.

S: Actually Prongs, no. Yellow is just such a wild color and I thought it would match her personality. Not to mention that it would make her stand out like a sore thumb. I second the green on Lily.

R: I'm okay with that.

S: So you gonna hex them now James?

(James takes aim at Lily with wand, one eye closed and can be seen muttering under his breath. Instantly her vivid red changes to a drastic green. He does likewise with Anna, except her hair turns from a cinnamon stick brown to a bright and horrid yellow. A few seconds pass, then the girls look at each other then scream. The class erupts in laughter. Binns continues drowning on, as if nothing has happened. Lily and Anna have a strange look of both fury and yet on the verge of tears.)

J: Thank you, thank you. No need for applause.

P: They don't look too happy Prongs...

(Sirius bursts out in laughter and then tries to look innocent.)

S: That was brilliant! I told you Walden would look great with yellow hair...

(Remus, meanwhile, hides his laughing face behing one of his many books.)

S: And that scream, it was priceless!

(The bell rings, signalling the end of class.)

A/N: Tell us what you think! We really enjoyed writing this and we hope you enjoyed reading this.