Woe is me, the polar bear who cannot swim and fears the water! I don't own Naruto, and I nearly got arrested for stealing it! Woe is me...and my botched sting operation!

A/N: Okay everybody. This one's a real shorty. I think it might even be shorter than chapter two. I can guarantee the next one will be way longer, I've explained myself at the end. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it, despite the fact that it is challenged in the length department. It actually took me a very long time to figure out what I wanted to do with this scene. But, before you read the midget chapter, there are warnings!

Language, OOC, and future SASUNARU shounen-ai and maybe even yaoi. This, my lovely compadres, means boys kissing, petting, fucking, and generally loving other boys. If any of these ideas bother you, then you suck ass, and you need to go away right now. I don't like you. (Technically you should be gone already due to warnings in previous chapters, but some people are just really dim).

Now...Reviewer Response-

ghostninja85: I guess you're right, it should be Hatake, but since I've already started using Kakashi, I'll probably stick with that. Thanks so much for your review, I really appreciate it. Here are some cupcakes –whips out tray of imaginary cupcakes- Enjoy!

Kaiou-hime: The idea with Sasuke is that he's known he's gay for a while, so there isn't really any mental struggle or anything. You're right about him not really liking anyone before, but we're all sexually attracted to people sometimes (he is a teenager after all). Also, about the Americanization of the school, I think I said in one of my Author's notes that this was like one big culture splice, because I'm not as familiar with Japanese culture as I should be. I'm sorry if this bothers you, but I don't think I know enough to write it like a Japanese school without completely butchering it. I wouldn't want to completely embarrass myself more than necessary, you know? Also! I'm glad you liked my poetry, I know it's weird and I wasn;t sure what people would think. Thanks for telling me it was okay. And since I give out treats...Here –whips out tray of cookies of Kaiou-hime's favorite variety- are some cookies for you. Thanks for the review. (whew! That was long.)

ewon: I hate reading in front of the class too. I once had to read an entire essay in front of my class and I almost fainted. It's even worse when it's something like poetry that comes from your heart, though, because it hurts more when people criticize you. Thanks also for telling me about my little anonymous review blocker. I had no idea that I had it set that way. I've changed it now, so it's okay. I would have probably gone on for a while without noticing if you hadn't said something. Thanks. I'm glad you like the chapter, and I hope you like this one too, even though it's so short. Thanks for reviewing again. I really appreciate it. Do you like triple fudge brownies with caramel? If you do I have two pans of them waiting for you. –gives ewon pans of brownies- I hope you like 'em, and thank you again for all your reviews.

Kyuubi-kun: Massive thanks for your review, and since you have mentioned a movie that I have not seen, I will have to see it! I'm glad you liked it, and all your questions will be answered in this lovely chapter. Since I give out treats to my reviewers, I will give you a box of Brazilian chocolate! My friend just came back from Rio and she brought me chocolate. It was soooooooo good. I hope you enjoy. And if you don't like chocolate, I personally think you're psychotic, but you can turn it into something else! Thanks for reading.

Bleeding Heart12: I'm glad you like it. I hope this update is soon enough, and I hope you like this chapter. You might have figured out by now, if you read the other reviewer responses, that I give my reviewers treats. –Turns around and grabs a fresh baked apple pie- Here is a pie for you. If you don't like pie, you can change it into something else. ;) Thanks for reviewing.

That's it! Wow, that took up like an entire page. I should write less next time. Anyways, thanks for all your reviews.

And now, after many paragraphs of endless rambling: ON WITH CHAPTER FIVE!

But Home Is Nowhere...: I Won't Recognize Myself

When the final bell rang at three forty five, Sasuke let out a sigh that bordered on monumental, and stood slowly, legs aching almost as much as his mind. This had been the most eventful day he'd had in years, and he was utterly exhausted. His mind was racing at a moronically slow pace as trudged towards the locker he shared with Naruto.

"Naruto." He said the name as if it were a foreign word, shaking his head thoughtfully. Naruto the annoying, temperamental, overly boisterous dobe. Naruto who had spent the entire day hell bent on irritating him, and who everyone seemed to despise for no real reason. Naruto who wrote poetry that made so little sense it was beautiful. He sighed. "I definitely need some sleep."

He managed to open the lock on the first try this time and was about to close it again five minutes later when Naruto came up behind him and gave a mellow, "Leave it open." Sasuke just shrugged, and was turning to leave when the blonde caught hold of his shoulder. He turned, giving Naruto a look that he was sure portrayed great confusion. For a moment, the dobe just looked at him, and then he said quietly, "I liked your poem."

Sasuke was a little surprised by that. Well, actually, he was a lot surprised, and he barely even realized he'd said anything when he replied, "Ditto."(1) Naruto just gave a half smile and turned back to his books. Sasuke walked down the hallway with a strange look of confused cheerfulness on his face. He'd only know Naruto for one day, and already he was able to apply the phrase, 'He never ceases to amaze...or confuse.'

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The three forty five bell was ringing shrilly in Naruto's ears as he snapped out of the boredom induced stupor into which he'd fallen during his last period class. His mind had been wandering quite thoroughly off topic for the past two hours (granted, one had been a study period, so that didn't matter as much), focusing intently on the poem Sasuke had written in Kakashi's (2) class. For some reason, he couldn't drag his brain away from the five simple lines that sounded so much like something he would write, and it was both extremely annoying and strangely refreshing. He even found himself beginning to think of Sasuke in terms other then someone trying to steal Sakura.

"Maybe," he decided as he walked down the hallway. "I could be civil." He smiled at the idea and someone walking past him said something about animals not being tame enough to be civil. He wasn't listening.

Sasuke was about to close their locker when the blonde came up behind him. "Leave it open." Naruto made a conscious effort to sound normal and not hostile. Sasuke just shrugged at him. 'I should say something else,' Naruto's thoughts were suddenly very lively. 'That's what people having real conversations do. They say things.' He was trying to think of something to say when Sasuke turned away. As the boy began walking off, it came to him, and he reached out to catch Sasuke's shoulder.

The other boy turned towards him with an extremely confused look on hiss face and Naruto had to think for a second to remember what it was he was going to say. Dropping his hand back to his side it came out, "I liked your poem."

'That! You stopped him to say THAT! Naruto you are a complete imbecile. Why the hell would he care if-' His mental tirade was cut short as Sasuke's voice filtered into his mind.

"Ditto."

Naruto looked away then, allowing himself a partial smile as Sasuke turned once again to leave. Sasuke liked his poem too. 'Maybe,' he thought to himself, 'I could even be nice.'

TBC...

Okay, I know it's way short, and I apologize greatly. I just thought this scene should stand on it's own, so I stopped here. I just don't think it would have had the same effect if I'd kept going. Short chapter does mean longer chapter next time, though. Thanks for reading. Kisses to all of you, and an extra one if you review. I won't be able to update over the weekend, but I hope to have chapter six up by Monday afternoon, or Tuesday. No later than Wednesday morning. Peace out.

P.S. ARGHHH!!!!!!!! I've just realized that if they were in the same class, they'd probably be walking down the hall at the same time. Oh well. We'll just say Naruto was moving really slow, or had to talk to a teacher, or something. (I hate it when I don't catch my plot discrepancies. I hate it even more when I do.)

ISAN

1. Is this a stupid word? I've always liked it. I guess it's not something Sasuke would say, but we'll just say this'll be an OOC moment.

2. I never think the Mrs. or Mr. inside my head, so when Naruto and Sasuke are thinking about, or talking among themselves about their teachers, they'll just say the one thing, like I've done here.

Chapter title line from "Exsanguination", by AFI. It's not mine.

No next time this time. I have no idea what's coming up. ;)