I own the world. I am officially changing the female role to King and the male role to Queen. I am King of everything! And I am officially claiming custody of Naruto and all of co-workers! Muwahahahahahaha! Okay, maybe not. But I do own the story!

A/N: I don't This chapter was very hard for me to write. I really don't think it flows very well, especially in the beginning. But! There is one plus. What is it, you ask? Well! This chapter has naked Sasuke! Bring out your drool pans. Nah, I'm just kidding, but when he's taking a shower, I encourage you to take a moment and imagine, for all our sakes. Anyways, now that this is out of the way, welcome to chapter 9 of But Home Is Nowhere. I will now thank the reviewers of chapter 8.

Sasunaru-fangurls: Well, I'm glad you thought Naruto's ast was believable, because I was really worried about that. Thanks so much for review, and here is pan of Puppy Chow. If you don't know what that is, it's a really tasty treat that's like chex mix ecept with chocolate and powdered sugar.

ewon: I'm glad you were satisfied, I was very worried about all of this, thinking it was far too crazy and stuff. And Sasuke and Naruto will definitely become friends soon. Thanks for all your reviews, and since I'm not entirely positive what I've given you already, I hope this isn't a repeat. I have a quadruple layer cake of your favorite variety, and It's very moist and tasty and fresh. I hope you enjoy.

Kyuubi-kun: I guess I don't really have a reason that his parents were insane. They just were. Sorry, but I probably won't explain it unless I have some stroke of brilliant inspiration. Thanks for reviewing. Here are some cookies for you. Sorry if I've already given you some.

Juu: I'm glad you liked, I was afraid it was a little over the top. I promise, there will be some SASUNARU very soon. Thanks for reviewing. As a reward, here is a very big, very tasty cookie cake, just for you. Enjoy.

Now on with chapter 9!

But Home Is Nowhere...: Why Does It Feel Like Night Today?

When his alarm went off at six thirty on the second day of school, Sasuke nearly had a heart attack. He sat bolt upright and screamed at the top of his lungs, feeling as if he'd been roused by the sound of a gunshot, not the soft beeping of a clock. He reached a shaking hand over to his nightstand and pressed the 'off' button before flopping back into his pillows. He'd just been entering the deepest phase of sleep when the clock had gone off, and he was unused to being pulled from slumber so soon after entering it. Overall, he felt quite disoriented and extremely weak.

"Oh dear god," he groaned, his voice rasping and his throat raw. He was utterly exhausted. "I shouldn't have stayed up so late last night." His frowned deepened, as he tried to remember why he'd been up so late. When the thoughts of the newspaper article came flooding into his mind, he wished he hadn't remembered. He sat up again, this time slowly, and shook his head, trying to clear his mind.

He threw the covers off of him and brought his legs over the side of the bed, letting his toes graze the cool, hardwood floor. After taking a few forcefully slow breaths, he braced his arms against the mattress and pushed himself into a standing position. He walked slowly into his bathroom, and flipped the light switch up, forcing himself to squint as the bright white light washed over him. He walked over to the shower stall and adjusted the knob to sufficient heat, removing his boxers and t-shirt as the water warmed.

Stepping into the shower, he sighed at the warmth. As the water sheeted down his body, he found himself hard pressed to stay awake, and he very nearly fell over when he reached for the shampoo. He washed slowly, first his hair, and then his face, and then the rest of his body, starting with his feet. When he was finally finished, he decided that he definitely needed something to wake him up, so he turned the knob all the way in the cold direction, waiting for the water to cool. He stood still, attempting to stay under the freezing spray for an entire minute, but after ten seconds, he could take it no longer, so he shut of the water.

He was shivering when he reached for his towel, and though he was still feeling sluggish and tired, he was considerably more coherent. A few Dr. Peppers for breakfast and he would be as good as new. He dried off quickly and threw the towel on the bathroom counter, grabbing his hair brush. He ran the brush through his hair quickly to rid it of all tangles, and then exited the bathroom, still naked, hair flat against his head and towel over his shoulder.

He approached his closet lazily and pulled a pair of blue jeans out, rummaging through the drawers for a pair of underwear and a shirt. He came up with his 'foxy' boxer-briefs and a black tank top. He smiled and decided he'd go for the 'goth' look today. He replaced the blue jeans and pulled out a pair of black leather pants and a long sleeved fishnet shirt instead.

Pulling these on, he contemplated wearing boots today and thought it was a good idea. He finished zipping his pants and picked up the discarded towel, placing on top of his head and rubbing fervently until he was satisfied that his hair would stand up well. He then pulled on a pair of black tube socks and his knee high combat boots, finishing his look with a few chains around the neck. (1)

He looked at himself in the mirror, deciding to forgo makeup, thinking that might be a bit extreme for the second day of school. He hen picked up his backpack, stuffing the books from his desk into the various pockets, and the slinging it over his shoulder. As he exited hi room, the clock read seven o'clock.

Sasuke walked slowly down the stairs, trying to become reacquainted with walking in his goth-wear, since he hadn't worn it all summer. It was really quite difficult to walk in boots and tight leather pants for the first time in two months. He gave a short, quiet laugh as he mocked himself inside his head, 'Some people can go years without wearing this stuff and be fine when they put it on. What's the matter with you?' "And why the hell am I even thinking about this?"

When he entered the kitchen, he was half smiling. Itachi didn't even look up at him when he said, "Well, I can see you're wasting no time scaring all your new acquaintances." Sasuke just grunted in return and went over to the refrigerator. Opening it, he tossed his bag on a stool by the island and grabbed a Dr. Pepper. There was a plate of toast on the island, so he slid onto the stool next to his backpack and grabbed a piece. His brother just shook his head, not even bothering to comment on Sasuke's choice of beverage.

Fifteen minutes later, they were in the red Porsche convertible speeding down the road towards Sans High, Sasuke nursing his second bottle of caffeine.

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Naruto cringed. Sasuke was not going to be happy about this. At all. Apparently someone hadn't gotten the memo that they were sharing a locker. Naruto was sure that if whoever had done this knew, then they would have at least taken measures to protect Sasuke's half of the locker. Because, really, why would anyone want to do this to Sasuke's stuff? All Naruto could to say was, "Shit!"

When he'd gone into the school that morning, he'd been happy, but immediately upon entering, his stomach had dropped. People were smiling at him, not making fun of him or insulting him. He had know something had to be up, so he'd walked down the hallway with utmost attention, his senses perked, alert and ready for anything. It hadn't occurred to him that the prank would be based in his locker. He had thought everyone knew that he and Sasuke were sharing, and even after just one day of school, Sasuke was already the school God. Thus, it had hit him by surprise.

Sasuke was going to kill him. He knew it. He was going to ring Naruto's neck. So what if they'd had a civil moment in the hall yesterday? So what if they liked each others poems? Sasuke was still going to kill him. And the only thing Naruto had to make him feel better was the fact that his spirals were in his backpack, safe from all malicious pranksters. The blonde frowned. He wasn't ready to die yet.

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When Sasuke pulled the door open, he cringed. Standing there, ready and waiting to ambush him was a crowd of fifteen girls, who had probably gotten there hours early just to wait for him. He tried to ignore them as he made his way to his locker, but found himself unable to disregard someone's hands taking firm hold of his ass for a brief second. He was about to snap an insult to the group when he heard a familiar voice shout,

"Ino, I know you did not just grab my man's ass!" Sakura was standing in the middle of the hallway, watching the group approach, and when Sasuke looked up in surprise, she winked at him. He felt himself breathe a sigh of relief.

Ino screeched, and Sasuke was sure she was going to deny grabbing his ass. He found himself face-faulting when she yelled back, "What do you mean YOUR man! Last I checked he was single!"

Sakura just smiled back. "Well, Ino-pig! Your sources must be out of date, because as of yesterday afternoon, this man," She came up and put her arms around Sasuke. "Is taken. Ask him yourself."

Ino looked at him as if she were ready to die, begging him to say otherwise, but instead, Sasuke put an arm around Sakura's waist and gave a cold, "She's telling the truth."

They walked off without another word, Sasuke's arm still around Sakura's waist, and the entire group of girls melting down into tears and jealous cries. When they were far enough down the hall to be out of earshot, Sasuke retrieved his arm and gave a quiet, "Thanks. That was really smart of you."

Sakura smiled a small smile and replied, "Any time. I figure, if I can't have you, I can save you." He looked at her and returned her smile as she said, "I gotta go. My Spanish teacher asked me to water her plants this morning."

"Alright. I'll see you later." Her smile broadened as she turned off down the hall, leaving Sasuke to wander alone towards his locker. It wasn't until Sasuke was halfway down he hall of one hundreds that he actually noticed his locker. It was open, Naruto standing in front of it looking rather dismayed, and upon closer examination, he discovered that the floor in front of the boy was drowning in a puddle of murky brown something. He was about to say something when Naruto's head snapped up, his piercing blue eyes looking straight through him.

The blonde then proceeded to turn quickly towards the locker and slam it shut, pressing his back against it, obviously trying to block the approaching Sasuke. "H-h-hey! Sasuke. How's it goin'?" His voice was shaking, and Sasuke was sure that yesterday he'd been a tenor, not an alto. Something was definitely wrong.

"What's wrong, dobe?" Sasuke was scowling. Judging by the stench coming from the puddle on the floor by Naruto's feet, there was a prank involved. Naruto was smiling sheepishly.

"Wh-what do you mean? Nothin's wrong. I dunno what you're talking about."

"Well, if there's nothing wrong, then could you move, so I can get my books?" Sasuke frowned.

Naruto looked like a little kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar right before dinner. "Um- No?"

"Wrong answer. What's in out locker?" Sasuke wished the done would just tell him so they could take care of it.

"I don't know what you're talking about?" Naruto's voice was questioning, as if he weren't sure his answer was correct. It wasn't.

"Well, then. Why is there a pile of liquid shit next to your feet?"

Naruto's smile faltered. "Oh! That. Well, you see, um, there seems to be, uh, well, the thing is-"

Sasuke cut him off, "Look, dobe, whatever it is, I won't get mad at you, as long as you didn't put it there. So would you please just open the locker and le me see?"

"You won't kill me?"

Sasuke was getting annoyed. "I might if you don't let me see sometime in the very near future!" Naruto squeaked and went rigid.

"You might want to stand over there. He pointed to a spot far to the side of the locker. Sasuke moved obediently and watched as Naruto stood as far away from the locker as he could and still be able to open it. He pulled open the door, jumping back as it slammed against the other lockers and a large mass of sludge like brown stuff came out. "I don't really know what it is, but it got all over our books." Sasuke just nodded, walking over to assess the damages.

"It's a good thing we have study period first. We're going to have to clean this out." Sasuke shook his head, exhausted as Naruto cringed yet again.

"We should go ask for cleaning supplies at the front office. This happens to me all the time. They'll give us a mop and some rags and a bucket with cleaning stuff if we ask real nice." Sasuke just nodded and turned down the hallway.

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Naruto was, to say the least, surprised. Sasuke didn't kill him. Sasuke didn't even injure him. Sasuke was being rational, civil, and perhaps even nice about it. If Naruto had heard right, he'd actually said "We're going to have to clean this out." Meaning the both of them. Meaning Sasuke would be helping. Meaning he wasn't going to make Naruto clean the entire thing himself. Naruto was almost in shock.

When he entered the office, Sasuke was glaring at the assistant secretary's back as she rummaged around for cleaning supplies. He was still scowling when she stood back up and turned towards him, but she smiled cheerily nonetheless. He handed the mop and bucket to Naruto and held onto the rags and cleaning solution as the woman spoke, "I'll send the janitor t help you out, sweetie. I'm sorry you've been stuck with all the pranks that people play on him." She nodded towards Naruto, the last word laced with hatred, and for some reason, Naruto saw Sasuke bristle, his finger tightening around the bottle and rags.

Sasuke then proceed to shock him completely by saying harshly, "It's not his fault people hate him for no reason! Besides, it's not that bad. I'm sure I'll be fine! Be sure to tell the Janitor his half is dirty too!" He wasn't exactly yelling, but his voice was louder than usual and his knuckles had turned white from clutching so hard. Naruto's jaw hit the floor. Sasuke was defending him! And the assistant secretary looked quite surprised. And Sasuke was defending him!

'What the hell?' Naruto's mind was officially a maze of confusion. He was almost as lost as the woman behind the desk who was nodding dumbly, her face red, and her mind obviously unable to process the outburst. Without another word, Sasuke turned on his heel and left. Naruto followed him in a daze.

When they arrived back at their locker, Sasuke turned to him and said in his usual tone of voice, "We should take care of our books first." Naruto nodded and proceeded to remove everything of his and make a pile on the floor. Sasuke then did the same.

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Sasuke grimaced as he attempted to remove his books with two fingers. Whatever this stuff was, it was absolutely disgusting. Upon realizing that he was not going to be able to do the job without complete use of his arms, he dropped the book he was holding on the floor and then proceeded to remove his fishnet shirt, not wanting to soil his clothes nay more than necessary. He walked over to his backpack, which was placed a safe distance away, and stuffed the shirt inside, leaving him in his leather pants and black wife-beater.

He was ranting internally about numerous different things, including how disgusting this stuff was, how mad he was going to be if his pants got messed up, and how completely stupid and thoughtless the assistant secretary was. Sasuke returned to their locker and looked distastefully at his pile of books, turning to Naruto. "So, don't take this wrong way, but you said this happens a lot right?" Naruto just nodded. "Any ideas on ho to clean these?"

The blonde looked up at Sasuke his eyes suggesting that he just said something completely idiotic. "First you're gonna want to wipe down the pages with a dry rag, and then you're gonna want to do the same with a wet one. That should get them pretty clean. And then you're going to want to start storing them in economy sized freezer bags, so if this happens again they'll be safe. I guess I should have warned you before, but o be honest, I didn't think anyone would try anything on my locker, since it was yours too."

Sasuke gave a half smile. "It would seem you're not the only one that hates me, then." He grabbed a rag and started the process of wiping his books down, and he barely heard it when the blonde gave a quiet,

"I don't hate you." Sasuke looked at him, slightly confused, but the blonde was working earnestly on his own books. Sasuke sighed.

"Ditto." (2) There was a smile in his voice and when Naruto looked up, Sasuke was back to rubbing his tarnished belongings clean.

TBC...

A/N: Woo hoo! Second longest chapter so far! The longest being chapter one and only by seven lines! This one really didn't turn out like it was supposed to, but hey! I actually kind of like it, even though it's not very good. I like making Naruto and Sasuke have moments like this. It's very fun. As for the stuff in their locker. I have no idea whatsoever what it is, so use your imagination! Chapter title is from "Papercut" by the lovely Likin Park. Thanks for reading, if you love me you'll review! If you hate me you'll review! And if couldn't care less either way, then review! ;)

-Mercury Bohemian Signing Out-

ISAN

1. Okay, I know this is weird, but I just felt compelled to do it. I'm sorry if any of you think it's scary, but I think it would be incredibly sexy. I just couldn't help it! If you don't like it, then laugh at it. I promise, he won't be goth every day. Just today. ;)

2. Muwahahahahahahahaha! There it is again! I love this word! And I'm making Sasuke love it as well. So blargh!