Chapter One: In Which There Are Troubles With Alcohol

I was born on December 14, 1960 as Alice Smethwyck to a pureblood family, the only child of two only children, in a private hospital in Cornwall. From my dad, I inherited a thick mane of wavy brown hair, and from my mum I inherited everything else, including a round frame and brownish-hazel eyes. At the time of my birth, we lived in a decently sized house in the English countryside, smaller than one expects of a pureblood family, but comfortable just the same. I still remember it, from the whitewashed walls, to the olive green trim, to the smell of fresh cut grass in the spring. Wildflowers used to grow rampant, and it was in a particularly thick patch that my mum told me I first started walking, in pursuit of a butterfly. I have never completely stopped missing that old house.

We weren't rich, but we had enough. The one thing I should mention, which was an integral part of my rearing and that I only recognized later as unusual, was that I was kept almost completely isolated from other children. We had no neighbors with kids, and witches and wizards don't have mandatory school before Hogwarts. My parents didn't think it necessary to send me to some ministry day care center; they figured that I could best learn the lessons of life from them. In a way, this kept me utterly sheltered, but I think it also taught me things that you can't learn from those horribly judgmental and heartless beasts that children have the capacity of being.

As far as Hogwarts is concerned, once I started attending the school I viewed it as much my home as that old house in the countryside. I gained my first and only best friend on the Hogwarts Express, which, in my opinion, was quite an accomplishment, considering before my eleventh birthday I was rarely to be found with anybody under the age of thirty. Lily was eleven going on forty; even then, she had all her opinions formed and knew exactly how to utilize the world in such a way that she could have everything. Even though she was Muggleborn, she'd made sure to do her research, and when I met her she probably knew more about the wizarding world than I did. I liked her because talking to her was like talking to an adult, and adults, as I've said, were the only friends I'd ever had.

We were both sorted into Gryffindor, and though Lily was confused that the hat had refused to put her into Ravenclaw (and from what she told me, I think that she had a bit of an argument with it when it had refused to explain itself), that suited us just fine. Lily was the more outgoing of both of us to start; at first, the only friends I made I met through her. After a few months had passed, however, I finally found the child in myself that I never knew existed. My world was a bright place, filled with shining new possibilities. I had friends, I was learning, and I had never been more excited to wake up in the morning.

In 1972, a year after I was accepted to Hogwarts, my parents got a divorce. Dad, though he was probably the most adoring parent you could ask for, had developed a drinking problem when I was about nine years old. I rarely ever saw it, because he'd come home long after I'd gone to bed, but needless to say, I had always known it was an underlying issue. It had depleted our family's money and, apparently, my mum's patience as well. She shocked everybody, because back in those days, especially in pureblood families, divorce was pretty much unheard of. I won't lie and say that this didn't bother me, but there's nothing I could do about it, and I learned to accept it.

My mum sold our house and moved in with her boyfriend, Carlos, in the middle of my fourth year, while my dad had a string of girlfriends who seemed to get progressively younger as I got older. Mostly I lived with my mum and Carlos, but sometimes I'd visit my dad too. While I was at Hogwarts, I always made sure to send them an equal amount of letters so that neither would feel like I'd taken sides. Lily was the only one who knew anything about my parents, and even she knew the barest details. It was probably one of the few things I never really discussed with her.

During my first few years at Hogwarts, we began hearing whispers of someone who called himself Lord Voldemort. This whispering, as time passed, became louder and louder until it seemed the world was shouting about him right into our ears. We tried as best we could to ignore it, taking up a manner that adults had adopted already, but it was no use. His name--or rather, the title they gave him when they were too afraid to say it any more, 'the Dark Lord'--was emblazoned on the front of every newspaper and his existence was felt in every family. Sickeningly enough, his presence in our lives eventually became the norm, and we couldn't remember life without it.

Sixth year, again, was the year in which things really began taking off. It was the year after Bellatrix Black had left school, and her sisters were left to take care of their business, Black Diamonds. Black Diamonds was an operation that Bellatrix had established her first year, one which had more alcohol than even the Marauders could hope to get their hands on. With the dangerous combination of being both aesthetically pleasing and unafraid of rule breaking, the Black sisters and the Marauders had made their fortunes before they even turned seventeen, all off of materials that could have gotten them arrested if anybody reported them. Of course, nobody did.

Undoubtedly, it was Black Diamonds that had inspired the beginning of the Marauder's entrepreneurship, and while Gryffindors loyally purchased anything they wanted from the Marauders, and though they had more variety in their merchandise, Black Diamonds had always managed to rake in more revenue. Now that Bellatrix had left, and having just run away from home four months prior, Sirius Black was determined to finally outdo his cousins.

On the Hogwarts Express, everyone who was in third year or above (and not in Slytherin, obviously) was eagerly anticipating the traditional post-feast round of firewhiskey that the Marauders had been hosting since third year. And when I say round, I mean a party occurred that caused people to stumble to their dormitories at two in the morning and wake up a few hours later begging said Marauders for their self-patented hangover potion. It had managed, somehow, to go without any problems the three years that it had been going on, but Lily had resolved that that year she would put a stop to it.

"I don't see why I didn't last year," she said to me seriously as we sat alone in the Prefect's carriage. Technically, I wasn't supposed to be there, but as Lily and Severus Snape were the only ones who really took their jobs seriously, nobody took issue with it. "I mean, I'm a Prefect! Isn't it my job to stop that sort of thing?"

"You're in over your head, is all I can say," I told her, propping my legs up on her skinny lap and leaning my head against the compartment wall. "You can try, certainly, but think about it, Lily. You are one person, while three-fourths of the school lives for that party. I can almost promise you that they will make your life utter hell."

I would never admit it to Lily, but something about those parties thrilled me. I never got drunk, but I'd take the occasional sip and--well--even though they disgusted me with their vomit and obnoxious behavior, I liked seeing people enjoy themselves, especially in times like those. Not to mention the Marauders were my friends, and they were always nice to me. I actually wanted Lily to get to know the rest of them, not just Remus, and knew that any chance of their friendship would be destroyed if Lily told about their parties and their alcohol sales.

"I know," she sighed, putting her head in her hands and letting her lovely auburn hair hang in a curtain in front of her. "It's just, you know, I'm sick of them not listening. They'll hurt someone someday." By 'they' she meant, of course, James and Sirius.

"Don't be dramatic, Lily," I said, patting her comfortingly. "They're immature, not stupid. They know when enough is enough."

"Do they?" she asked angrily, sitting up again. "I'm not so sure. At least not Potter."

"You mean because he pesters you with requests for a date at least once a week? That's different. He likes you."

Lily made a sound that I would call something between a grunt and a snort if it had come from anybody else. From her, however, it was what I guessed was a sound of utter disbelief.

"Sure. Call animal lust whatever you'd like. However, I wasn't talking about that. I was talking about Snape."

I knew she was right, but I felt that the Marauders were unable to properly defend themselves in this situation, and it was up to me to do so in their place.

"He is a malicious person, dear, no matter what you'd like to believe on the contrary."

"Yes, well, they still have no right to be so cruel to him."

"He had no right to call you a Mudblood last year."

"If you'll recall, Potter had him suspended in the air and was in the process of removing his trousers."

I smiled.

"Which, if you'll recall, was hilarious."

Lily's mouth worked furiously to fight what was inevitable, and in a moment, she was smiling back.

"In a morbid, disgusting way, considering it was something I hope never in my life to see again."

We laughed, and I was relieved that, at least for that moment, Lily had forgotten about telling about the party.

When we'd changed into our robes and she left the compartment to patrol the corridors (and perhaps hex James if she saw a good opportunity, which, in Lily's opinion, was always), I slipped out and began searching for Sirius, the one who organized the party. I knew that he wouldn't be hard to find, because wherever he was, a crowd usually followed. Sirius was, if anything, a ladies' man.

Just as I suspected, I quickly found Sirius sitting in the center of a compartment halfway down the train with James Potter and Peter Pettigrew on either side of him and several other people surrounding them. Most of them, I noticed with disgust, were simpering girls. Sirius, as usual, was almost oblivious to all the attention he was receiving, and grinned widely at me when I slid open the compartment door.

"Oy! Smethwyck!" he called, as though I was across a Quidditch pitch instead of five feet away. "How the bloody hell was your summer?"

I rolled my eyes at him, though I couldn't help indulging him with a smile. "You realize that it's quicker to just call me Alice, don't you? Anyways, it was fantastic. Ace, really. The trip to Majorca with my dad was completely cancelled and I spent the summer locked in my room."

"Bad luck," he said, shaking his head, "but I'm sure you were pining for me all the same."

"Of course."

"Come here, love, I've missed you." He patted his lap suggestively.

Sirius and I didn't have a romantic relationship, no matter how evocative our language. He was like my brother--that is, if your brother frequently pretended to snog you and lick your ear in public.

I complied and sat on his lap. I wasn't the tiniest thing, but I managed to perch myself comfortably, nonetheless. I think that some of the girls in that compartment hated me very much after that.

"Hello James, Peter," I said, nodding at them.

Peter gave me a vague nod, while James smiled at me and said, "Hey, Alice. Have a nice summer?" He and I had always gotten along alright, but since he started pursuing Lily he'd made it one of his main priorities.

Perhaps he thought that if he was nice enough to me, I'd go to Lily and say, "Yes, that James Potter, he's a nice fellow, isn't he?", and she'd say, "Oh yes, I quite agree.". He didn't seem to realize that Lily wasn't that simple, but it was lovely to have somebody who had to be nice to you, nonetheless. After exchanging smiles, James began addressing the others in the room. All of a sudden, I could feel something tugging at my hair.

"Much as I adore you, I did come for a reason," I said to Sirius, trying to turn my head to face him. "What are you doing back there?"

"Shush," he replied, "and turn around. I'm trying to braid your hair."

"Braid James's. God knows it's long enough."

Peter, who had still been listening to us, tittered nervously at this, then stopped, checking to make sure it was alright to. When he saw nobody else laughing, he turned red and looked down. Sirius, however, grinned.

"Quite right. Smart girl." He patted me on the head. "That's what I love about you. We should get married, really."

"Ha," I said. "When you can give me five good reasons, I'll consider."

"Tut tut, you're so cold."

"No, but really, I need to talk to you."

"Fine," he sighed. He pushed me unceremoniously from his lap, then beamed at everyone in the compartment.

"Alice and I have business to discuss," he announced loudly. He wriggled his eyebrows suggestively, and I could once again feel the hatred rolling off of the other girls in waves.

"So, what's the problem?" Sirius asked once we got outside. He leaned against the frosted compartment door, his hip sticking out and completely unaware of how suggestive his stance was. I raised and eyebrow, then said, quietly in case Lily wasn't far off--

"You need to keep the drinking party tame tonight. That, or cancel."

"What!" Sirius cried, straightening. For the first time he looked serious, and he stared at me as though I was crazy.

"If you don't, Lily will tell McGonagall."

"What!" he cried again, "She can't! That--that goes against the rules! The rules of Gryffindor!"

I sighed, trying to think of how to make him understand. I ran my hand through the sloppy braid Sirius had made of my hair, eventually undoing the whole thing.

"Lily operates by the rules of Hogwarts," I said. "She takes her job seriously."

"What job!" Sirius asked, dismayed. "This is the Year of All Years! Bellatrix is out of the running, Andro and Cissa have no idea how to run the business, and we are the forerunners for the top providers in our school! Doesn't Evans realize we've been striving for this for six fucking years?"

"Unlike Remus, she thinks being a Prefect means something." I explained, "And while I see what you're talking about, she's my best friend and I support her on this." Never mind that I didn't completely. He didn't need to know that.

Sirius's eyes became slits as he scowled at the compartment across the corridor. Then he rubbed his eyes distractedly.

"Alright," he said, "what do you propose I do?"

"Cancel it. Or move the date."

"No, no," he said impatiently. "That won't work." We stood in awkward silence for what felt like an eternity, when abruptly he pounded the door he was leaning on with his fist.

"How-can-James-like-that-bitch?" he grunted, hitting the door after each word. "Damn!" he hissed as the glass broke. From inside the compartment, the girls screamed. "Alright there, Pads?" James called.

"Are you ok, Sirius?" Peter echoed.

"Bloody…brilliant. Just brill," Sirius said through clenched teeth. He whipped out his wand, repaired the door, then looked down at his hand, which was bleeding profusely.

"Shit, Sirius," I swore, pulling out my own wand, "couldn't you have waited until we got to Hogwarts at least?"

I cast a quick cleaning charm on his hand, causing the streams of crimson to be scrubbed from his hand by invisible soap and water. Though Sirius's quick intake of breath told me that it stung, he managed to smile at me grimly.

"Fancy wandwork, Al," he said. "I had no idea you were so domestic."

"Shut up," I shot back at him. "I shouldn't have even helped you. Take back that crap you said about Lily."

"Alice, you know I didn't mean--"

"Take it back, or I swear to high heaven I'll make salt come out of this wand and right into that hand of yours."

"You wouldn't."

"Try me."

"Fine," Sirius said, conjuring a bandage and wrapping it around his hand. "But I still have no idea how I'm going to--" he stopped, and his eyes got huge. Slowly, a grin spread over his face, and while the effect was rather pretty, it scared the hell out of me.

"Sirius?" I asked uncertainly. "Sirius, what are you planning? Oh God, don't tell me you've had a brilliant idea." The last time Sirius had had a 'brilliant idea', there had been missing limbs involved. Of course, he never admitted that he was wrong; simply that "figures instrumental to the plan's success hadn't followed through." And yes, those were his exact words.

It was clear that whatever he had up his sleeve, he wasn't going to tell me. He ruffled my hair affectionately and opened the door to the compartment.

"Don't worry, Alice. Just go back to your darling Lillikins and know that I have everything under control."

"That's why I'm worried," I said. He ignored me, and as he went back into the compartment, I shouted after him, "And I wouldn't call her Lillikins in her presence if I were you!" He gave me a wink, then shut the door with a snap. For a moment, I wondered in abject horror what I had done, then turned away, hoping that Sirius was simply planning on canceling, or at least moving the location as far away from Lily Evans's patrolling district as he could.

But Sirius Black was Sirius Black, and when had Sirius Black ever moved or cancelled a drinking party? To this day, I can honestly tell you the answer to that question is 'never'.

The next few hours I spent between talking with Lily and visiting with various other people who I hadn't seen all summer. Once we approached the train station and Lily had left to help students off the train, I sought out our good friend Marlene McKinnon. I found her in a compartment near the end of the train, having a rather heated snogging session with her seventh year boyfriend, Amos Diggory. When I opened the door to the compartment, there was a moment of heavy swearing, followed by a rather uncoordinated attempt to detangle themselves from each other's limbs.

"Are you quite sure you're done?" I asked, raising my eyebrows and resisting the urge to laugh, if only barely. Marlene scowled at me. Marlene was pretty, though she had a heavy dependency on makeup, and was very, very promiscuous. Her mascara, at that moment was smeared, and I could see some of it on Amos's nose. I wondered idly how they'd managed to get into that position.

"What is it, Smethwyck?" she groaned.

"Sorry," I said, not sorry at all, "but isn't Amos Head Boy? Isn't he supposed to go help students off the train now?"

Amos checked his watch and cursed again.

"I'll see you, Lee," he said, kissing her once more. She kissed him back, and they very quickly would have started up their former activities if I hadn't cleared my throat loudly.

"Nice seeing you, Alice," he grunted, then left quickly.

"What'd you do that for?" Marlene whined.

"Would you have him be fired his first day on the job?"

"Yes," she said, rolling off the seat and landing on the floor with a loud 'oof' sound. She sat up and wrinkled her nose. "I've heard having Head Boy for a boyfriend is horrid. I'm thinking about breaking up with him."

"You started dating him two weeks ago, Marlene." It was true. Their relationship had only begun while she was shopping for school supplies in Diagon Alley and he'd saved her from an angry kneazle.

"I--I know," she said uncomfortably, "but I want a boyfriend who gives me attention."

It had looked to me like Marlene was getting plenty of attention, but I didn't bother point that out. Instead, I smiled wickedly and said to her,

"He calls you Lee?"

She gave me an ugly look.

"Shut up, Alice."

The sorting and the feast, surprisingly enough, went without a hitch. Lily, I was shocked to see, still had all her limbs intact at the end. I had just begun to relax, and was even able to stop shooting Sirius glances every two minutes. As she got up to help show the first years to the common room, however, I knew at once something was wrong. I got out of my seat and fought through the crowd of students who had just gotten up to leave, keeping my eyes focused on a mop of black hair that poked slightly above most people's heads.

"What did you do, Black?" I snarled, stopping him in the sea of students.

"Nothing!" he cried, though his innocent smile betrayed him. Sirius was never, ever innocent.

"Don't lie to me," I said, pointing at Lily, who was just leaving the Great Hall and was almost impossible to see through all the bodies that were between us. "Look at her! She's swaying like she's about to faint!"

Sirius squinted to see who I was pointing at, and when he caught sight of her, he shrugged nonchalantly.

"Maybe she's decided to lighten up."

"And you wouldn't have had anything to do with that?"

"Maybe my hand slipped a little over her pumpkin juice."

I stared at Sirius in disbelief.

"You spiked her drink? Bloody hell, Sirius, is there something wrong in there?" I cried, finally finding my voice. "You don't do that!" I had never felt so much like I was talking to a child.

I made my way to Gryffindor common room, feeling like I was swimming in molasses with all the people who surrounded me. All the while, I was afraid I was either going to find Lily fallen at the bottom of a staircase being trampled on, or throwing up on some first years. However, I managed to get to the portrait of the Fat Lady without seeing hide or hair of Lily. I stood awkwardly in front of her until some fourth years came from behind me and said it. I quickly thanked them and entered the common room.

The Marauders had out the decorations that they always managed to mysteriously erect without leaving the Great Hall any sooner than the rest of us. There were glass balls painted different colors that were suspended by doxies. The doxies were coated with an illuminating potion, which caused the balls to appear lit up. Already, the alcohol had been brought out, and people were beginning to get comfortable. On the couches several of them were getting comfortable with their boyfriends and girlfriends. There were several more couples swaying wildly to the beat of music I didn't recognize, and a knot of people had gathered in the corner. I assumed that either they were doing a drug deal or trying to orchestrate the beginnings of a massive orgy. At once, I turned away. They'd almost managed it once, last year, and if it caught on again, I didn't want any of them mistakenly sweeping me into it. I shuddered at the thought.

Not seeing Lily, I sought out one of the Marauders. Sirius wasn't around, and I didn't expect him to be any time soon. For some reason, though he was always enthusiastic about them, he never actually attended his own parties. Remus would be in bed, "not having any idea what was going on". James was usually in the midst of things, making sure everybody was having a good time, and so I searched the bar. Peter Pettigrew was always forced to be bartender.

Surprisingly, it was James there, not Peter.

"James!" I cried, walking up to the bar briskly. "Where's Peter?"

"Gave him the night off," he said shortly.

Personally thinking that poor Peter probably deserved it and realizing, suddenly, how thirsty I was, I said simply, "Give me a water, will you?"

He grunted, and I noticed that he had his eyes fixed on the knot in the corner.

"James!" I said loudly.

He cursed as the water from the tap he was using overflowed onto his hand. He shoved the drink at me, and then wiped his hand on his robes.

"Good thing it's just water," I said, taking a gulp. When he didn't respond, I quickly lost patience with him.

"Look, do you know where Lily is?" I asked. "Sirius told me what he bloody did with her drink, he fucking spiked it…"

James pointed to the knot he'd been staring at, and I realized that they were neither planning an orgy or dealing drugs. They were catcalling and cheering for somebody in the center. With a sinking feeling in my stomach, I turned to James, who was still staring with a mixture of jealousy and wistfulness, and had his head resting on his fist.

"Is that Lily in there?" I demanded. When he nodded, I let go of any pretense of politeness and pushed his elbow off the bar, causing his face to fall forward.

"What is wrong with you?" I asked angrily. "Why didn't you help her if you effing love her so much?"

Not waiting for him to answer me, I rudely butted my way through the cluster, using my elbows as much as possible and occasionally getting elbows shot back at me. In the heart of them was Lily, utterly drunk and dancing in a way that made me stop for a minute and stare. Where had she learned that? But then I shook myself and shot forward, grabbed her elbow and dragged her out. There were several groans of disappointment, and somebody who I think was from Hufflepuff even shouted, "Hey Smethwyck, afraid to let her have fun? What is she, your girlfriend?" But I completely ignored it. Cold fury towards the Marauders and concern for Lily made me immune to their comments, at least for the moment.

Lily, too, was protesting.

"Alice, no, no, I want to dance and have fun like--like every--haha--everybody else."

I didn't bother to answer. I'd seen my father get drunk a small handful of times and knew it was stupid to even think that anything I said would be actually processed. Lily was leaning on me more and more as we got closer to the stairs, until finally I was almost carrying her. James emerged from behind the bar, but I gave him a warning look.

"Don't talk to me right now, Potter," I said dangerously. "I swear, you'll regret it."

He looked like he was going to say something, then decided against it.

Lily had spotted him too, and her forehead was furrowed in concentration, as though she was searching for the right words to say.

"Detention, Potter," she said eventually, sounding so much like her usual self that I looked at her in surprise to make sure she hadn't just pretended to be drunk. But then she dissolved into a fit of giggles. Without another glance at James, I hauled her up the staircase and into our dormitory. As usual, all of our things were already set out in the room, and I heaved Lily onto her bed, which was closest to the window. She allowed me to take off her socks and shoes in silence, and also let me pull the sheets up around her. Once I had done that, she started giggling again and tried to get up. I pushed her back down.

"No, Lily," I said. "You need to go to sleep."

"Why-y?" she asked, her green eyes going wide.

"Because--" I hesitated and tried to think of a good reason. Finally I said, "Because you're a Prefect and you don't want Dumbledore to be disappointed in you."

She gave an exasperated sigh.

"Sometimes…" she said, in an exaggerated whisper, "sometimes I think I'm a rather miserable Prefect."

"Nonsense," I said comfortingly, smoothing her hair from her forehead, "but you need to sleep now. You'll need your strength scream at Potter tomorrow."

She frowned.

"I--I hate screaming at Potter," she said, sitting up slightly and leaning toward me. "Why can't he just act like--" she stopped, and then her face turned a distinctly green hue. Abruptly, she ducked her head and made a loud vomiting sound. I slowly closed my eyes in disgust as the barely digested contents of Lily's dinner ended up in my lap. She coughed, then laid her head down on the pillow. I took a few deep breaths, then opened my eyes.

"Lily?" But she was asleep.

"Damn," I whispered. "Damn, you'd better like me a whole lot, Evans." I performed a cleaning spell on my lap, and though it did the job, I quickly slipped out of my robes and uniform and into an overlarge shirt and loose cotton pants that were my pajamas. I climbed into my bed and sighed at the feeling of the clean sheets against my skin. It was like being welcomed by a mother's embrace. In spite of everything that had happened, I couldn't resist a small sigh of contentment. I was home.