Sign.

A/N: Alrighty, guys. I know this has taken me a really long time to get up, but there is a very good reason. I have been sick...with some mystery disease. I haven't been able to really think about anything, much less write, and we all know how inactivity makes my Writer's Block flare up. Quite annoying that is. But enough of me complaining. Many of you have been wondering when exactly I'm going to get to the SasuNaru which I have promised is coming for so long, and you will be both elated and disappointed to discover that I know exactly when everything is going to happen now...but it won't be for little while. Heh...Sorry. I promise to get back into the writing on a regular basis within the next week or two, but it might take me a few tries to write something coherent... With this said, I'm going to just get straight to the story. So many of you reviewed (well, as many as previous chapters...) and I really don't feel like writing three pages of reviewer responses...not that I don't love you guys...because I do! I love you guys a lot...but you know how it is (or you can pretend to, right?) I will say this one thing to Dark Fire-Tears of a kitsune, though. You asked me to write you a Gaara fic, which I would be happy to do...if I knew ANYTHING about Gaara. Pretty much, I know he exists, and I know what he looks like and I know a teeny bit about him, but not enough to write anything on him. So, in short, my answer to your question is no for now (which is good since my writing is currently sucking) but yes for later. Once I do a little research on his character and read other fics about him, I would be happy to write you a fic. I don't know how long it will take me...but I aim to please. So, if you still want one by the time I get around to it, you'll have a Gaara fic from me. (I know I said I don't know much about him...but I'm already madly in love with him, so this little assignment won't be much of a burden...heh o) This said, I PROMISE I'll do reviewer responses next time. And so, without further ado, here is the chapter.

But Home Is Nowhere...: Everything I Never Liked About You (Is Kind Of Seeping Into Me)

Sasuke felt an uncomfortable weight settling in his stomach as he watched Itachi's face reflected in the rear view mirror. It wouldn't have been so bad if perhaps that malicious smirk were directed at him, but instead, his brother's crimson eyes had settled on the helpless blonde next to him. "So..." the boys were tossed violently against each other as the mad man took a turn with out reducing his speed at all. "Who are you?"

Naruto's laughing had subsided by now, and he was attempting to untangle himself from the seat belt enough so that he would be able to sit properly. Sasuke glared heatedly at Itachi in the mirror, attempting to relay a warning to the psycho he called brother. "Naruto Uzumaki." The blonde was smiling brilliantly. "Nice to meet you." (1)

Sasuke let out a breath as Itachi merely lifted an eyebrow. Perhaps he'd decided not to be his usual asshole self(2). After all, he had just met the blonde. It usually took him at least a day to really settle into his cruel little teasing games. "I assume little brother has told you all about me..." His eyes flicked over to Sasuke's in the mirror. "That is if you two weren't busy doing other things the past couple of days." Then again, Sasuke had never brought anyone home before.

Naruto looked a little confused and Sasuke just growled as Itachi's smiled widened. And now it was time for the charming pervert act. Oh great. "I mean, with all the time you must have spent together, you had to be doing something other than homework. A hottie like Sasuke...and..." He paused, letting his eyes scan Naruto through the mirror.

Sasuke watched in horror as Naruto's eyes widened and a dark blush began to creep across his face. "Well, my little brother has always had good taste, hasn't he?" the blonde was officially gaping now, mouth ajar and eyes the size of dinner plates. Sasuke was too caught up in the horror of it all to say anything as Itachi continued to speak. "So tell me, Naruto, where did he sleep? Surely not the couch...not with a cutie like you around."

Naruto's mouth snapped shut, and he sounded absolutely mortified as he stuttered his response, "Uh-um, h-he...w-we, uh...well...uh"

Itachi smirked, his eyes glinting in victory. "Lovely friend you have, Sasuke. So articulate. I'd love to hear him at night."

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Naruto's mind was a jumble of embarrassment and confusion. He'd never met anyone as completely...well, he couldn't really think of a word, but if he did, he would put "as Itachi" at the end of the statement. He could barely form a rational thought as he attempted to string a sentence together and ended up with an incoherent chorus of mumbled noises. And then he'd said THAT. What the fuck was that supposed to mean, "I'd love to hear him at night." Surely Itachi didn't mean what it sounded like he meant.

Then again, Sasuke sure seemed to think he did, because he had just shoved his foot hard into the back of the driver's side seat and was now spitting curses at his perverted brother. Naruto frowned as he listened to Sasuke yelling at his brother. "Jesus Christ Itachi, what the fuck is the matter with you?! You can't just say things like that you pervert. Fuck!" Sasuke flopped back against the seat, fuming, crossing his arms over his chest and glaring into the rear view mirror. "Keep your fucking pedophile hands off!" And then he was silent.

Naruto stared. Itachi stared. Sasuke fumed. Naruto stared some more. Itachi smirked. Sasuke fumed some more. Then Itachi spoke. "I see." Naruto stared even more. Everything was silent, and for some reason, that little statement seemed to resolve all tension that would usually have been steaming the windows. Granted, Sasuke was still fuming, and Naruto had yet to cease staring at his friend, but the silence was not uncomfortable. Not even when you factored in that superior smirk on Itachi's face.

And now Naruto was smiling, because he realized that Sasuke had just defended him. Or protected him, or whatever it would be called. The point was, Sasuke was bothered by his brother's comments, which meant, as Naruto was realizing yet again, that Sasuke was his friend. Really his friend.

TBC...

Okay...I know this is uber short...but due to my little lapse, it took me like three hours just to write this. Like I said, I promise to be back in the flow (meaning longer short chapters) in the next week or so. I just need a little while. I know this chapter kind of sucks, but to make up for it, I promise I'll make the next one longer...and I'll update within two days. Promise! Thanks for your patience, guys! I love you all so much...just ask my friends. You make my world go round!

Bye, Bye for now.

ISAN

1. A little note for these paragraphs...I am having way too much trouble with pronouns! Gah...I never should have quit writing...

2. Okay, I don't actually know how much of an asshole Itachi is (I guess I assume he's a pretty big one, but I've never actually seen any part of the series with him actually in it...heh), so please don't get offended by this comment. Believe me, I love him just as much all of you, but in this story, he's gonna be a bitch. And he's going to be way OOC anyways...hell, I know this much without even having to know what his character is like!

P.S. Holy fuck...this sucked harder than anything I've posted so far. Urgh...sorry once again. I promise it WILL be better again. Oh yeah...and the chappie title is from "Down In It" by Nine Inch Nails.