Disclaimer: -I don't own any of the characters of The Shield, they all belong to Shawn Ryan and FX.
Trespass – Chapter 26.
Vic wasn't sure how much time had passed as he sat at the bottom of the stairs his aching head in his hands. Eventually though he knew he had to move and with a weary sigh he stood and turned to walk to the kitchen. Once there he crossed to the fridge and opening the door peered in until he spotted a couple of bottles of water. He took one and uncapping it took a long drink of the cool liquid. He put the nearly empty bottle down and turned to look at the back door, the point of entry for the perps. The door and its glass panes were now covered in fingerprint dust, as was the key that sat in the lock. Vic walked forward, reached out and turned the key locking the door. Then he removed the key from the lock and placed it on top of the fridge. He felt a sudden flare of anger rise up within him. Jesus, how could Dutch be so stupid. With their job they got to see the worst of human nature on a regular basis. They got to see the horrors that one human being could inflict upon another. Yet here in his own home Dutch had no alarm system, and he left the door key in place so all it had taken was one smashed pane of glass and those animals had been in the house. All of this could have been prevented if Dutch had just had a grain of common sense, if he'd been more careful. Vic growled out loud,
"Christ what a fucking idiot…Jesus this was just asking for trouble!"
Then he stopped as he realised what he'd said, what he'd been thinking? Was he going to conform to the old prejudice, that somehow the victim, Dutch, had been "asking for it"? Was he blaming Dutch now for what had happened? Shaking his head Vic bent down and began to carefully pick up the pieces of broken glass from the floor. He realised that yeah he was a little pissed at Dutch for being so careless about his own security, his own safety. However, he was also pissed at himself for not doing anything to help him. He was pissed at the shitty attitude he could already see forming with the investigating officers. He was pissed at those two fucking bastards who thought they had some kinda right to break in here, use Dutch, and he had to admit himself, for their own perverted pleasure. To cause misery, heartache and pain just to satisfy their own selfish twisted desires. Also Vic realised he was just really pissed off at the world in general that let shit like this happen. That let people like those sick fucking bastards hurt someone like Dutch.
After putting the broken glass in the bin Vic stared at the broken pane. Somehow he didn't think Dutch was the Do It Yourself type, and so doubted he'd find many tools or wood to fix the hole with. He couldn't wait around today for someone to fix it so after a moment's thought, and a search through the kitchen drawers, he ended up ten minutes later staring at the back of a Cornflakes packet which was taped over the hole. It would do for now, and he grimaced when he thought that at least no one could reach in and just unlock the door. Unwilling to enter into that train of thought again Vic picked up the nearly empty bottle of water and trudged up the stairs. He went into the bathroom and in the cabinet above the sink he found a bottle of Tylenol. After taking several and washing them down with the last of the water he collected some clean clothes from his room and quickly stripping off got into the shower. Vic turned the temperature up as high as he could bear it and stood with his face turned towards the shower head, letting the hot spray of water bombard his tired, aching body.
As the hot water ran over his body and swirled away down the drain Vic could feel the heavy lethargy that had begun to descend on him swirling away with it. He reached out for the soap and began to scrub his body clean. He scrubbed harder and longer than usual, trying to wash away the negative feelings and emotions that he felt the events of the previous hours had left imprinted on his body, ingrained into his flesh. He tried to visualize all those negative emotions, the ones that would distract him, make him weak, swirling away down the drain with the soapy water. He wanted to wash away the guilt, the regret, the self-loathing and disgust, the self-pity, the fear, the horror at the thought he'd become something he hated, a rapist. No matter what Aceveda had tried to tell him earlier he felt he couldn't shake that stain from his soul. As he scrubbed at his body willing all those emotions away he barely felt the tears that ran down his face, merging with the water and which were also swirled away.
When he finally finished Vic stepped out of the shower and began to dry himself. He felt stronger, his mind clearer, more himself. He wasn't sure if he had truly exorcised himself of those unwanted emotions or, as he suspected, he'd merely managed to push them deep down within himself. However, all he felt burning within himself now were those emotions he knew he'd need now to get the job done. He could feel the ice cold burn of his hatred, a raw anger, the need, the desire for revenge. He was going to get those two animals and make them suffer. He was going to do it for Dutch, for Claudette and for himself. If he was going to be able to keep those negative emotions at bay then he knew he would need to do this. He felt as if it would be his personal salvation, and he needed to focus his whole being on it. He had to know that he'd done everything possible to ensure that those two creatures would never get the chance to hurt anyone else the way they'd hurt Dutch. He didn't doubt for a second that they'd do it again, maybe that they'd done it before. However, he knew that this would be the last time. Dutch was going to be their last victim, because they'd made a fatal error. They'd gotten onto Vic Mackey's radar and as he'd told that piece of shit loan shark Manny Sandoval after the mess with the Cupid crystal meth, that was never a good thing.