Author's note: Okay, maybe "soon" isn't quite the right word. I've waited too long. It's time to update!
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Chapter 2: The Spy who Would Be Queen
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LYROBIAN DESERT - 01:05 PM
The four of us were riding camels across the desert. From back to front, there were Sam, me, Alex, and Clover. "This map is completely useless," Sam complained. "It's just sand, sand, and more sand."
"What did you expect?" I reminded her. "After all, this is a desert."
"Well, we better get to civilization soon," Alex responded, "'cause this heat is totally drying out my skin. I need a mudbath ASAP!"
Clover collapsed on top of her camel. "It's official. This country is completely miserable, and so am I! I can kiss my dreams of becoming homecoming queen goodbye."
"Too bad you didn't have someone back home who can do your campaigning for you," Alex responded.
"Yeah," I added, "and you would, if you hadn't turned Arnold down the way you did."
Clover's face suddenly brightened. "That's it!" She got out her compowder and began to dial.
Alex didn't understand. "What's it?"
I overheard Clover's call. "Arnold, it's Clover, you know, your best friend. I'm out of town, and I was wondering if your offer to help me with your campaign still stands. … You will? That's great! … Come on, Arnold, it's not my fault. I ate some bad sushi that made me act that way. … Anything, Arnold. Just name it. … WHAT? How about a nice lunch date instead? … Fine. I'll do it. But only for one day, and only if I win."
Clover hung up. "Things are suddenly looking up," she said, as if it wasn't obvious that she wasn't telling the truth.
"You have the look of a girl who was just asked to date a boy she thinks is a total jerk," I commented. Clover didn't respond.
"I say it's high time we call Jerry and ask for real directions and get out of this desert," Sam decided.
"Or," Alex added, "we could just ask someone at that nice house over there." She pointed at a VERY fancy house.
Sam folded up her map and looked. "That's not a house," she deduced, "it's the …"
"PALACE!" we all exclaimed.
"You guys," Sam explained, "be on your best behavior. Remember, we're dealing with a real queen."
LYROBIAN PALACE INTERIOR
"Welcome to Lyrobia," the queen greeted us. "I'm Queen Tassara, and this is my sister, Makeda. I assume you've been briefed about the kidnapping attempt."
"Totally," Clover responded, then quickly remembered her manners. "I mean, indeed. Jerry told us all about it. Sounds positively frightening, Your Honor."
"Especially considering, the king of Kenyopia and I are to attend a peace conference in Geneva to sign a war-ending treaty. The fate of our nations depends on our safety."
"One has to wonder how that stupid war got started," I whispered to Sam, who shushed me.
Alex was the next to speak up. "Well, the best way to keep Her Excellency safe is to keep her, I mean you, out of sight."
"True. Unfortunately, the palace is having a celebratory party tonight, and I'm obligated to attend."
"In that case," Sam suggested, "we'd better come up with a plan."
"Excuse me," Akim said, walking in, "but I need to consult with Makeda about this evening's festivities."
Not surprisingly, Clover fell in love with Akim in an instant. "Uh, no problem."
"Excuse us, Your Majesty," Makeda told us. "I can't tell you how grateful our people are to have your protection."
"Thank you," Sam responded. "Would you be so kind as to show us where the kidnapping attempt occurred?"
TASSARA'S BEDROOM
The girls and I searched all over the room for clues.
"Well," Clover concluded, "besides the solid gold bed, nothing looks out of the ordinary to me."
"She's a queen," I reminded Clover. "Of course she has a solid gold bed."
"Except for the floor," Alex commented. "It's totally dirty. I mean, no offense, Your Highness."
We approached to investigate. "This is where I landed when Akim saved me from the anti-gravity ray," Tassara explained.
"Careful," I said as Sam collected a sample, "that stuff could be harmful. You don't know what it is."
"Exactly why I'm going to send a sample to Jerry for analysis right away," Sam responded.
I glanced at Tassara. "About the festivities tonight? Does the real you have to come, or can you send a substitute?"
"I can't let my people down," Tassara replied. "I have to come in person. Besides, who would believe that I would be unable to attend a party that takes place in my own house?"
"Maybe not," Sam told us. "Leo just gave me an idea. I was thinking one of us should pose as Tassara while the other three pose as servants and thwart any kidnapping attempts. What do you think?"
"I think it's a great idea, Sammy," Clover responded, grabbing Tassara's crown and putting it on. "And, of course, I'll play the role of the Queen."
Clover ran up to the Queen's mirror. "Now that I get to be a real Queen- a fake real one, at least- I could care less about being a dumb high school homecoming queen! I wonder what my first queenly duties should be. Oh, I know! I'll go on a royal shopping spree."
I rolled my eyes as Sam spoke up. "Uh, Clover, why don't you let Tassara decide what your duties should be."
Clover sighed. "Fine. How do I look?"
"Like a scarab beetle is holding your head hostage," I commented.
LYROBIAN PALACE BALLROOM - 09:35 PM (maybe, I couldn't tell, the Cartoon Network logo covered it up partially)
"Queen" Clover shook hands with guest after guest. "Man," she said to herself, "I thought being the Queen was supposed to be fun. This reeks!"
Akim's voice jolted her. "Is there anything I can do for you, Your Majesty?"
"Yes," Clover responded. "You can save me from this totally lame receiving line and help me cut a royal rug."
"Huh?"
"Duh! I want you to dance with me!"
The "Queen" tried to pull Akim to the dance hall, but he pulled away. "Very amusing, Queen Tassara. You know that it is your duty to stay in the royal receiving line."
As you know, Clover isn't the kind of person who'll take no for an answer when turned down for a dance. "But you have to let me dance! I command you!"
Makeda, who was watching this whole spectacle, fainted on the spot, causing gasps throughout the ballroom. Akim picked her up. "Makeda, are you okay?"
The Queen's sister came to immediately. "I guess all the evening's excitement must've gotten to me," she explained.
"Perhaps you ought to go lie down."
"… Good idea."
As Akim and Makeda walked off, the real Tassara seemed concerned. "That was quite nerve-racking."
"Don't worry, Your Majesty," Alex assured her. "Everything's going to be fine."
"Do you think we should've told Makeda about our plan?" I whispered to Tassara. "After all, she's your sister, and I don't think she should-"
My sentence remained tantalizingly unfinished, as the proceedings were interrupted by a failure in the illumination of the festivities. In plain English, the lights went out.
"Could be the kidnappers," Sam whispered. "We'd better investigate."
Alex took Tassara to a nearby curtain and ushered her behind it. "Hide behind here, Your Majesty."
Meanwhile, Sam and I used our heat-sensor 6000's to scan the crowd. "I don't see anything," she said after a moment, "but I definitely smell something."
The whole spectacle's cause was revealed when Sam and I entered the banquet hall and found the culprit: a blown circuit breaker.
"Oopsie," Alex explained as she entered. "Guess this wasn't the best place to recharge my compowder."
"Not the best time, either," I added. "I was trying to recharge my DS right over there. Guess together they overloaded something."
"Well, at least it's just a blown fuse and not the kidnappers," Sam decided.
"Yeah," I commented. "It really wasn't anything more than a distrac-"
"AIEEEE!"
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What next? You'll have to wait to find out!