Close Encounters of the Concrete Kind
By FlyingKit aka Christine
Note; std disclaimers apply. I am a NON PROFIT gal with no earthy thoughts , or heavenly for that matter, of making ANY kind of moola for this luverly little tale.
To the people who love a good laugh now and then, love ya!C.)
Chapter 9
I knew the exact moment Stone spotted the carnage behind me. While I had been plotting his early demise via blunt object, (maybe I could steal his club and bash him to death! Do you think he'd notice?), he had straightened his spine stiffly, quickly recovering from his slovenly posture, and the corners of his mouth twisted down unhappily, one assumes. He slowly turned his eyes to me. Burning a path on the way there. He raised a single eyebrow.
Dammit! Can EVERYONE else do that besides me!
"Jersey…did I just miss a temper tantrum of yours? A spectacular one by the looks of it…"
What! He thought I did that! What abig pain in the…
"NO! It was a temper tantrum, but it wasn't mine! Damn Men!" Stone didn't realize that he hadn't just playfully lit an innocent sting that was lying on the floor. OH NO! That string was a very short fuse that led to my very full powder keg! "What the Hell do men want! TELL ME! 'Cause I sure as hell don't know! I've tried everything, even saw a psychic once! All seeing Madame Zora, my ASS! My lotto numbers didn't even work either!" I grumbled. "I bet she couldn't even predict the weather! I should have known that all men suck! With a capital 'S'! They are irrational and emotionally retarded and stubborn and…and…and…" I was counting off my points on my hands, and wondering if I was gonna run out of fingers before I was done.
"Whoa! Slow down there, Speedy! I don't speak Klingon. Back up and slow down." He had pushed off from the wall to stand in front of me during my tirade. Now he was shaking my shoulders. He only stopped when I had stopped rant… er…talking. He raised a hand to cup my chin so we were making complete eye contact. A little zing of electricity shot through my face down my body straight to my chest. Cripes! What the heck was that! Usually those go straight to my…err…you KNOW…my…okay, I'll just be grown up and say it… doodah!
"Now, isn't that better?" WHAT! Did he feel that too? Huh? Somehow I don't think that he was talkin' about what I was thinking about… "Who did this if you didn't? Let me guess…Brown? Did he flip out again? 'Cause if he did, he and I might have to have that discussion he wanted yesterday, right now." I quickly and emphatically shook my head no. The last thing I needed was another bonker man on my hands. He acknowledged my response with another gestulating eyebrow. He poured his southern drawl on extra thick like molasses. "Well Now, honey-chil'-girl-chil'-woman-chil', if it weren't, tell Big Daddy Stone what he wants to hear or it's whooooppin' time! Don't make me take ya over my knee right here, Suga!" He slapped his hand playfully against his thigh for good measure. "See! I even have the technique down!"
I couldn't help but laugh and I guess that was his intention. Maybe this guy wasn't SOoooo bad. Well, all the time anyway. I mean Attila the Hun had his good moments too, right?
"Funny, I can't see you as anybody's daddy, let alone mine! Unless you were a Sugar Daddy…to a transvestite, maybe…"
He got up in my face and wolf grinned. "Aww! Now, Jersey…" He stroked my arms and playfully pulled me into a hug. When he let me go he was chuckling. "You don't look that bad. Maybe if you ease up on the pancake mix and eye tar, I bet no one would make that mistake anymore… HEY! OWWW! THAT HURT!"
I pretended to buff a fingernail. "Now look what you've done, Flintstone! Made me chip a nail!" I unceremoniously shoved the finger in his face. Hey, what do you know? It was the middle one. Funny. What a ka-winky-dink. "You are paying for a visit to Ms. Kwan to get it repaired."
"I am not! YOU are the one who poked me in the ribs! And by the way…don't promise what you can't follow through on." He said gesturing to my finger.
Holy shit! "Uh… Weren't we talking about something else? Er…the door! No...No… it wasn't me or Bobby. But we had front row seats."
He cocked an eyebrow. Probably deep in thought trying to decide how deep I was willing to crawl down the rabbit hole to avoid his comment.
"Okay then…" he made a rolling gesture with his hand, "out with it!"
"It was Ranger." I said sheepishly.
"Manoso? He's back! I thought he moved to Miami?" WHAT! No one tells me ANYTHING! I wonder who else knew. I can think of at least three others…Larry, Curly and Moe perhaps… that would make, Bolts-for-Brains here, Shemp, I suppose. I started plotting multiple homicides. "All my dealings with him in the past have shown him to be pretty even-keeled. Why in the world would he bust open a door…" He stopped as a light dawned. "Sooo…you AND Bobby both had front seats, huh?"
"Hey! It wasn't like that! Well, we were both in bed and, okay, we were both not fully dressed, but we had been sleeping…and it wasn't what it looked LIKE!" I finished with a breathless gasp. "It's not my fault if Ranger didn't understand! He didn't stick around for an explanation! WHAT ELSE IS NEW! He took off without clearing the air, just like before, DAMMIT!"
"Wow. Manoso, huh? And not Bobby? Hmmm. Wouldn't have figured you for a groupie. Boy, you get around, Jersey." He chuckled.
"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?" I shoved him hard in the shoulders. Geez! I think I just paralyzed my wrists! Ugh.
"HEY! I was joking! Just kidding!" He had his hands help up in surrender. "I get it! Nothing happened with Bobby. But something obviously did with Manoso before…" He raised a brow in inquiry. "Care to share? Come on, Dish. You know you want to…I bet you are 'bout ready to burst with the need to talk. I see it in your eyes, Jersey. Your blab-o-meter is set at 'OVERLOAD'. Tell Big Daddy Stone…"
I looked at him silently, studying him for a moment, just thinking things over. Stone fidgeted. Army musclemen can fidget? Go figure. You learn something new everyday. I guess I was making him nervous by not answering right away. Had to be a first for me, thinking before speaking, that is.
"Look. I'm half-naked here! Can we go somewhere else less public to discuss this? I would like to be wearing pants before I have this conversation. Especially if," I poked him in the chest again. "YOU are the willing ear. You are shifty looking. Don't trust ya!" I grumbled under my breath… "Men. Harumpff!"
His face split into a Jack-o-lantern grin and just as frightening, I might add!
"Sure thing, Suga! I know just the place where we can go. Never thought you would be so willing…" He went to pat me on the butt playfully. I darted out of reach and glared at him. "If that hand goes anywhere NEAR where I think it was going, I'll chop it off. And that may make ya a little unhappy when you try to have some quality time with yourself, if you catch my drift, Popeye."
He chuckled. "Sure, Miss Bad-Ass. Whatever you say." He switched into an English accent and his whole demeanor changed. I blinked. Man he's good. "This way, ma'dame. If you would kindly follow me." He placed my arm in the crook of his, and proceeded to lead me down the hallway.
"Whatever you say, Jeeves. I bet you were scary as a kid. "I tapped my chin thoughtfully. "Did your mother ever try to 'lose' you somewhere? Must have been hard for her to have a son like you for spawn. All that energy and no brains…" I tsked and shook my head at the thought. "Poor woman."
"Remind me to tell you about the time I put the cat out to dry on the clothesline sometime..." His voice trailed as we walked away.
Meanwhile…a few… say oh 10 minutes prior… in the war-room…
Lester and Tank were bent over a set of blueprints set on the conference table. Both were grim faced and doing nothing to disguise it. At this rate, the would never be able to solve their problem, Tank thought. Even though Les had isolated the place, i.e. the terminal where the transmission was sent from, they had yet to figure out who the leak was. It had to be an inside job. For god's sake, the bastard didn't even completely cover his tracks well! They knew someone had accessed it with a Rangeman employee card, which when traced yielded a phantom name, but whoever did it was smart enough to wipe any incriminating evidence from the hard drive. And not just the surface info, but every fucking piece of data from the last 2 months. GONE! Along with any chance of finding out who was receiving the info about their recent missions! And worse was the fact that Tank had to call fucking Ranger to tell him what happened. Man, he was not pleased. DAMMIT! Tank banged his fist down on the wood hard enough to spill his coffee all over the prints. FUCK!
"DAMN MAN!" Lester rushed around with a bunch of papers trying to sop up the mess. "What the hell? Could ya make a little more of a mess! SHIT!"
"Lester." One menacing word. That's all it took for Les to know Tank meant business.
"Uh, sorry, Boss."
"It's alright." He caressed his head which he had just recently shaved again. He hadn't done that for a while. But Steph had mentioned she liked that Van Diesel guy… he grinned without knowing it. Steph. He sighed and shook his head. Besides he had done it in the past and it was easier to take care of. He turned his attention back to Lester, who had noticed the strange smile and was perplexed.
"SO what do we have on…"
They were interrupted by the door slamming open and Ranger stalked inside. By the time Ranger had closed it and come to stand on the other side of the conference table, Les knew he wanted to get the hell out of there. He was no crash test dummy! Nuh-uh. He knew how Ranger responded to failure. Especially failure connected this closely to him. The info sent, they had deduced, had to have been info on "The Missions", capital 'M', that Ranger had gone on for the past year. Shit. Les had no idea what Ranger really did for the government and to be honest he wanted to keep it that way! People had a habit of disappearing around James Bond types. And Les did not want to add his name to the roster!
"Uh, excuse me, Boss. I better go get something to clean this up with that works better…"
"Fine, go, Santos," and "Dismissed, Lester," followed his statement.
Both Tank and Ranger answered him at the same time. OH shit. This could be bad, Les thought. Before he could calculate how VERY bad this situation could be, Tank looked at him and said. "Go ahead and go, Santos. Give us a few minutes." Les nodded and left the room.
"Ranger..." Tank started to speak.
"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON AROUND HERE TANK! I leave and everything goes to HELL! Maybe we should have put someone else in charge…"
"What the FUCK! You put me in charge, Ric, Buddy!" Tank stated sardonically. "You make a mistake! I don't think so."
Ranger barked a laugh. "Funny, that's the second time today someone has told me I made a mistake." He shook his head in disgust.
"What the hell are you talking about! Look, I know things are shit right now with this leak but we'll plug it. Don't fucking worry. You couldn't even take care of this better yourself! And I don't think this is the time or place to discuss mistakes. There is enough blame to go around."
Again Ranger laughed and slammed his fist into the table thus cracking it, and belittling his laughter. Tank blinked and stoically monitored Ranger.
What the hell!
"Man, I don't think this argument or situation with the leak warrants this level of anger."
Ranger painfully smiled and walked over to Tank shaking his head. "What the fuck does then, TANK, BUDDY? Hmmm, pal? Maybe you could have told me, warned me before I flew up here. This I think warrants some anger." He walked to the back corner wall of close-circuit monitors, dragging the larger man along beside him. "Fucking this maybe..." he turned on the closest monitor. Tank saw a bedroom, Bobby's bedroom precisely. SHIT!
He shut his eyes in defeat. No wonder Ranger was flipping out. He glanced up and stared at Ranger for a few silent, tense moments.
"Look, Ric, man, it's not what you think. Bobby was having some problems last night. He seems to have had a relapse and he is fixated on Steph…"
"Hell, I'd say he is a lot more that that with her. BASTARDO!" He punched the wall. "He FUCKING slept with her. How could he?" He shouted. Then he ran his hands over his face and moaned, "How COULD she?"
"They didn't do what I'm sure what it looked like to you. You of all people should know what kind of situations Steph can get into! You know, wrong place, wrong time, kind of karma-shit. Dammit man! She wouldn't do that to you. Though you might deserve it if she did…" He muttered.
"What the FUCK is that supposed to mean!" Ranger slugged Tank in the jaw, HARD. Tank never even saw it coming.
"DAMMIT, RIC! DON'T FUCKIN' GO THERE WITH ME!" Tank bellowed but managed to stop himself from returning the compliment with his fists.
"SEE how much she cares, PAL!" Ranger spat. He walked over and turned the sound to Bobby's room up on the speakers.
Tanks glanced up and watched transfixed next to Ranger. Both men were equally disturbed by the scene but for different reasons. Stephanie's sweet voice flowed out melodically:
"…to be bad men." Steph sighed and paused. "You might be right."
Bobby was holding Steph awfully close, Tank though unhappily.
"The only love you need is the love you make for yourself in life. The love you make with friends and family. The love you have with the guys."Bobby hesitated, and forced her chin up with his hand to stare at his eyes.
SHIT! He was making her cry.
"My love."
Now Tank wanted to strangle someone!
"Not the kind where you wait for some stupid superhero to come rescue you."
OH MY GAWD! No. Ranger couldn't be right! Bobby after Steph! Bobby trying to sabotage whatever freaky relationship that Ranger and Stephanie had? Naaa…
Steph appeared to be watching Bobby intently and then she leaned up and pecked his mouth with hers. Wiping her eyes, and returned to stand flat on her feet.
"I love you, too."
NO! I didn't just hear that. Just when I thought she had gotten batman over here out of her system. No. NO. NO! Tank was seeing red.
"Do you get where I am coming from now, Tank, buddy!" Ranger growled.
Oh yeah! Tank thought. I do. I understand more than you would like. He was gonna kill Bobby…
To be continued in chapter 10…
Close Encounters of the Concrete Kind
By FlyingKit aka Christine
Note; std disclaimers apply. I am a NON PROFIT gal with no earthy thoughts, or heavenly for that matter, of making ANY kind of moola for this luverly little tale.
TO all my peeps whose feedback has made me laugh and not cry! (Yes I am still reading feedback, just can't write back yet…)
Thanks for keeping me going strong! thrusts single fist in the air FIGHT THE RESISTANCE! ER…sorry…dramatic weekend… as you can tell from chapters. OH and to my partner in crime, my cellmate, my prison bitc… Er..i mean …my Minion, Marcie. ahem Love ya all! C.
(PS- special thanks for the heads up, Celestina, on the conspiracy investigation. Don't worry I ate the note.)
Chapter 10
The end of the yellow brick road sure looks like the beginning. This hallway was just as confusing and surreal. I'll never be able to navigate around this place on my own! How creepy would it be if a bunch of dwarves jumped out and started singing right about now? I shivered and grabbed Stone's hand.
"Uh, shouldn't we be leaving a trail of bread crumbs or something…"
"Are you that bad a bloodhound, Jersey? Funny, the guys are always telling me how talented you are when it comes to ferreting things out. I mean with that nose I thought you would be great at sniffing for clues…"
"You are a freakin' laugh riot, you know that! Cripes. I can 'ferret' out clues but it is only pure luck, I assure you, not inbred ability like what your ancestors gave you. We all can't be that lucky, now can we? Refresh my memory, Pebbles. What pedigree are you again? Oh that's right. Sorry, didn't mean to bring up a sore subject. I know you are still working with the 'counselor' with that whole being a mutt issue. My bad." I shrugged my shoulders and entered the doorway that we had stopped in front of. I just assumed this was our destination. When I walked inside I was a bit startled, but I covered it quickly. And well, I might add. By well, I mean that I didn't stand like a statue in the middle of the room, making the donut hole face. I mentally giggled. I am the SHIT! Why were we in one of the bedrooms? I mean it had to be a core team member's, because only a trusted person would be able to sleep this close to the three stooges. It was a quirk I had long ago discovered when the guys and I had been out-of-town on a distraction/takedown. They wouldn't let anyone else sleep at the house they had rented. Heck. Forget sleep; let alone let them step inside unescorted. Some slop about bugs and plants. I hadn't really bothered to pay attention until later when it was time to go to sleep. They had shown me to my room there instead of sending me to the hotel with the others. BIG SOFTIES! That was the day I realized that they, Bobby, Les and Tank, considered me one of their own. The Trio was now a …Quatro? Is that a word? Umm…you get the point.
I walked to the bed and looked at it. Hmm. Purple sheets? Too weird. And, boy, whoever slept here was a slob. It wasn't even made! Heck, even I threw my covers up in a half-assed attempt to hide my ratty sheets everyday! I sniffed. You would think whoever slept here would do the same. Common courtesy. My mother would have a heart attack if she saw this room! Definitely not a burg boy, no siree bob. I bounced up and down on the bed testing it out. Cool. I always like testing beds. It's a habit that has never died since childhood, much to my mother's mortification. Believe me, it was hard to explain to the Dick when I was more interested in testing out the heart shaped bed than taking a 'ride' on his magic carpet on the first night of our honeymoon. What can I say? How many times does a girl get to bounce on a heart shaped bed in one lifetime? Come on. No contest. I suppose that was clue number one that I didn't really love the Dick. But I digress. I grinned merrily, enjoying my temporary flight to and fro from the mattress springs, when I happened to look up at Stone. UH-oh. Whoops. Forgot.
Stone was standing there with a goofy grin clutching his chest dramatically.
"Do you think you could go get dressed now, Tinkerbell? I don't think my heart can take one more glance of that spiffy slip-o-nothing you call drawers bouncing up and down on my bed. Though it is a luscious sight…" he purred.
I blushed. His bed! Yikes! I hopped down like I just realized the bed was infested with fleas. "EWWW! Stone cooties." I ran to the farthest side of the bed. Coincidentally, the farthest point in the room I could get from Stone. Huh. Go figure. "Never took you for a purple man." I giggled pointing to the covers.
"Hey, what can I say, it looks good against my fair skin." He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. Damn Skippy! I would have to agree! I hate when he is right. My pal, here, was one luscious piece o' pebble! Fruity Pebbles or Cocoa Pebbles, I haven't decided yet. Both were equally magically delicious. I felt myself drift mentally. Warm tan skin, deep chestnut locks hanging ever so rakishly over one eye and the rest spread over his pillow. OOOOoooo and those blues eyes! Well, not blue exactly. They were more of a deep shiny gunmetal obsidian. You know how if you look at a gun at just the right angle in the moonlight and when the metal reflects it back to your eye? For one glorious split second you see a simmering royal deep blue light. THAT'S the color I'm talking about! UH…er…Hey! I'm not the only one obsessed with guns, am I? Damn that Bobby! 'Just want you to be less afraid of your gun,' he said. 'You'll be happier if you know your weapon,' he said. Bullshit. Now I sound like FREAKIN' Charlton Heston. Come to think of it, I don't think I mind that association. Ugh. Mentally I was thumping my head against the wall right about now.
A hand waving an inch in front of my face, accompanied by an amused chuckle jarred me back to the present.
"You okay there, Dorothy? Hmm, wonder what sent you over the rainbow with that look on your cute little ol' noggin for the last few minutes…" he smiled knowingly. I growled.
"If you must know, Sir Nose-a-lot, I was thinking about guns."
He blinked. AH-HA! I think I just stumped the comeback king. The KING is dead! Long live the QUEEN! Hurrah! Just when I finished envisioning what my crown jewels would look like around my neck and had moved on to designing my royal coronation gown, I was rudely interrupted.
"Guns?"
"Uh. Yeah! Duh! That's what I said, buster." Boy, he was swift today!
"Let me get this straight. You were thinking about guns when I mentioned the prospect of me, lying in the buff, on those sheets." He pointed to said sheets in case I hadn't seen them enough already.
"Well, yeah. What else would I be thinking about! Oh! And Charlton Heston, too, but the gun thing was first." I stated matter of factly as I strode to the bathroom door. "What's your point, Rocky?"
"OMIGAWD! You are priceless!" He was full out laughing now and was doubled over holding his sides. OHHHhh-Kay. Not exactly the reaction I was trying to goad out of him. He's a nut! Did I mention he is a nut! Crikey. He was wiping tears from his eyes trying to gain control of himself while I was mentally sizing him for a nifty new jacket. One with arms that tie in the back, leather straps and shiny buckles.
"Normally I would be offended by your preoccupation with firearms over the option of drooling over me, but this just makes me laugh too much!" He looked over at me, and I could still see tear tracks. "You sound like a certain someone I know. He practically buffs wood from the mere thought of an Uzi! I have to fix you two up. Oh yeah, a friggin' blind date! That's priceless!" And with that he started rolling again. Jesus! Can you say, CHOOCOO! I still stared wide-eyed wondering if I should go try to find a butterfly net, when he FINALLY recovered. He leaned with his palms on his knees and tilted his head to look up at me. "Boy, I haven't laughed that hard in years!"
"Sounds like a personal problem, on both fronts. You actually hang out with a guy who has gun fantasies!" I shivered at the thought.
"Skipper, let me put it this way. If there were a way to surgically alter himself he would have had traded in something every man protects like the Holy Grail for the addition of a shiny new flame-thrower. It's his nature."
"I think I am offended. And I don't know exactly why…"
"If you met him you'd understand."
"Uh, that's okay. No need." I backed up into the bathroom, scurrying like a mouse. NO WAY was I ever gonna associate with someone like THAT!
Stone sighed. "Don't worry, Jersey. I don't see why you would ever have the need to make his acquaintance. Why don't you go hose yourself off and slither into something more…er… less comfortable."
He held his nose. "…And less fragrant. I don't like standing down wind."
Why that Sonova…
"ARE you implying I stink? You better not be, buddy! I am sooooo gonna kick your ass! Just you wait!" I shook my fist at him. Oh yeah. Shake in terror, Big Boy!
"No. No implication, just a simple statement of fact. You of all people should understand something simple. Oh and…Yeah right! You and what army, Peewee?"
OH NO HE DIDN'T! I did a Lulu caliber neck-roll. Er... well... at least the white girl watered down version. Think a little less smooth rhythm and grace and more 'funky chicken.'
He held up a hand. "Go shower." He slapped me on the rump and shoved me in the bathroom. "We have things to talk about, remember? Manoso and your 'relationship'," Ohmigawd! Did he just use air quotes? Hello! So Nineties! "…or maybe I should say lack-there-of?" I groaned. I turned to run into the shower portion of the bathroom that was sectioned off.
"Oh… and Tinkerbell?" I looked at him over my shoulder, perplexed by the nickname. "Nice hearts. Pink are my favorite now." He laughed at me while I turned fifteen different shades of crimson and I slammed the door in his face.
Meanwhile… a mere few minutes later…
The shadowy figure crossed the room and picked up his phone. It was time to for the call. As much as he wanted what the man could give him, he hated dealing with this scum. Well, as long as he got what he wanted from them, it didn't matter what he had to put up with. He was going to change his life for the better. It was time for a promotion.
Across town…
A phone rang. Fortunately it was on silent mode. The man on the other end picked it up nervously.
"Jesus Christ! I told you not to call me now! There is someone in the next room!"
Fuckin' asshole, the one Man thought and sighed. Soon, the other Man chanted in his head.
"I know that that phone isn't even programmed to ring, so calm down. Did you wrap the package?"
"Yeah, I got the info."
"And the package? Is it ready to wrap?"
"Yeah. I just want to put a bow on it. That will take some time."
I hate having to talk this television spy shit! Why is it everyone and his brother thinks this is the way it's done? The Man thought.
"When will it be ready?"
He's not feeling very patient right now.
"Whenever I say it will be."
"It's ready when I say it is!" He growled.
"Is this anyway to treat a valued new employee?"
I'm gonna kill him, he thought charitably. The other Man thought less charitable thoughts. Ones that involved torture.
"Just deliver the goods personally along with the package in 3 weeks to the rendezvous point. I'll call again. Don't attempt to contact me."
"Don't bother. Just use the message service from now on. Safer."
A feral sound was the only response besides the click.
Amateur. I'm going to enjoy taking him out, schemed one Man. Dead. Already dead, thought the other Man.
A few MORE minutes pass…
This is the best idea I have had all day. Uh-huh, yeah sure. I glanced unhappily at my reflection in the mirror. I mistakenly thought the shower would help tame my morning Afro hair. Staring in the mirror I sighed. Nope. No such luck. I look like a downed rat. I glimpsed downward. A frumpy drowned rat. Ugh! Who would want to look at this! Uh, not that I am dressing for anyone, or anything... But a girl has to have some standards! Heck, I am wearing men's sweat pants and big stinky shirt with no discernible shape, for the love of mike! Any warm-blooded female would be ashamed to be seen in this. On the plus side the neck hole was HUGE and created instant peek-a-boo cleavage. Too bad the rest of me looks like a social security recipient cross-dresser. No one will take me seriously in this outfit. Hell, Steph, Get a grip. You are from the Burg! You can take this head on. No mere outfit is gonna overcome the will of a jersey girl! With that thought I started rummaging through drawers. AH-hah! Just what I need. I took the scissors and started making alterations. When I was done I redressed and made the necessary refined adjustments. THERE! VOILA! Insta-burg! Workout Barbie couldn't hold a candle to me! Hell, neither could Linda Carter! I stuck my tongue out at my reflection. The woman looking back at me was striking in a I-am-going-jogging-in-a-tube-top kinda way. I had made a short pair of cutoffs from the long sweats and tied my hair back in a French braid securing it with a rubber band I found in the very back corner of the vanity drawer. My black shirt had the sleeves cut off and the midriff was exposed via eighties-style shirt knot. Something's missing. Eureka I pulled the neck hole askew so only one shoulder was exposed and a bit more top cleavage. Not too much. Didn't want to overdo, and fall out. This wasn't a distraction job. I just wanted certain people to know what they were missing by being pig-men! I am Wonderwoman! Contented, I exited the bathroom.
Stone was bent over a black leather duffel bag by his closet door with an object in his hand.
"What's that?" I pointed to the thingie.
"Geez, Jersey. Even I would think you would know a phone when you see one."
Big eyeroll.
"Smartass! I meant what kind? It looks fancier than my one at home…"
He answered without looking up. Hurriedly putting the phone back among the depths of the mysterious bag with whatever else was in there. My snoopy sense was in overdrive. I wonder what other goodies are lurking in there?
"It's a SAT phone."
Uh…
"You mean you have to use it sitting down?" I blushed and slapped a hand over my mouth. Okay. Even I knew that was a dumb question.
He chuckled heartily.
"No. I know you didn't just say that!"
"Oh yeah, believe it. I've got a million other gems like that one, I've yet to reveal." I grumbled. I am so glad I am comic relief for Boulder-Boy.
"It's a satellite phone. Untraceable and encoded. You can use this practically anywhere on the planet due to the GPS." I must have looked blank because he clarified, "That's Global Positioning System." He shook his head. "Remind me to check to make sure you know how to take off the safety on your gun the next time you go to use it."
"Hey! I resent that! Where's your gun? I'll demonstrate how skilled I am."
He finally looked up and took in my appearance. A low wolf whistle followed.
"Geez, Jersey! I didn't know it was possible to still work the 'Flashdance' look as sexy. As much as I like, you gotta know you are really showing your born on date with that outfit."
"Screw you. I like retro! You are just jealous because now you can't wear your Spuds Mackenzie shirt! Poor baby. I'm sure the 'Frankie says relax' will work just fine for today's festivities. It will go better with your stone-washed jeans." I laughed. "Get it? Stone washed?" I wiggled my eyebrows. "I kill me! You do remember those, don't ya? I bet some real loser still has a pair of those somewhere!"
I swear he blushed.
"OMIGAWD! You DIDN'T keep yours! Tell me that's a lie!"
"Hey, like you said, they are Retro. And they might be worth something someday." I laughed. He quickly changed the subject. "So about you and Manoso…"
Shit! I had been hoping He had forgotten about that. Well, that's what you get for wishing for champagne kisses and caviar dreams.
To be continued in chapter 11…
Close Encounters of the Concrete Kind
By FlyingKit aka Christine
Note; std disclaimers apply. I am a NON PROFIT gal with no earthy thoughts , or heavenly for that matter, of making ANY kind of moola for this luverly little tale.
looking to left and right whew! Joanne isn't looking is she? pulls big floppy hat farther down on head and skulks in large trench coat
Pssst! Here is a tiny tidbit to wet your appetites. I know, I know, a blessing or a curse depending how you feel when you are done reading. looks over shoulder seeing guard appear Shoot better run. I hope no one rats me out. shuddering Damn flying monkeys! What are you laughing at Marcie! We better get! grabs Marcie and runs back to cell. ENJOY! C.)
Chapter 11
"So about you and Manoso…"
The guy was tenacious, I'll give him that.
"That's just it. There is no 'me and Manoso'. Not anymore. Heck, I'm not sure there ever was…"
"Okay. Cryptic much? Elaborate. Pronto."
Judas Priest. More monosyllabic commands from a man. This was not going to go a long way to improving my mood or my opinion of his gender on the whole.
I screwed up my nose, belligerently, and gave him the Plum Stare. An oldie but a goodie, the Stare was the ultimate weapon. One not to be used or taken lightly. It works for my Mom. Every. Damn. Time. I can attest to that firsthand.
"No."
"Hey, don't shoot daggers at me. We were having a perfectly civil, if not terribly witty, conversation up until right now. Why not tell me?"
"Why should I have a conversation with you about this? I don't know you from Adam, now do I?" I crossed my arms and dug in for a total hissy fit. I mean he's one of them. He's evil, dammit! Why should I trust a... ugh…MAN. I shivered from the taste of the foul word on my tongue.
Stone looked at me and for a split second I swear I saw another man underneath all that humor. No, not a man…whatever 'it' was scared the beegeebus outta me. No man could do that! Maybe a monster. Heck, you are talking to someone who still jumps on to her bed from a foot away at night so the bogey man can't grab her ankles. Dangerous guy, that Bogey man. By the way, hiding under your sheets is a good monster repellant, just in case you were wondering. It's worked for me so far.
Stone turned on his heel and started towards the door.
"Let's go then, Miss Priss. I'm not wasting time on this."
Shit.
"Sorry." He stopped. Seconds passed. He finally turned around.
"Forgiven… on one condition."
I don't like the sound of that. "Uh, okay. But what's the condition?"
"Nuh-uh." He wagged a finger in my face, scolding me. "Promise first or forgiveness not granted." Shit, he sounds serious!
"I can't blindly promise something to you. I mean what if you want me to jump off the Brooklyn Bridge or something…"
"You just uped the ante. Now it's two conditions. Care to make it three?"
GULP. He's mutha freakin' serious with this!
"UH...No. I mean, no to the three! Two is scary enough. Yes, I promise."
"Perfect." He finally smiled. Whew! For a minute there Stone was kinda freakin' me out. "Condition one: Never question my character again. I may be a lot of nasty things but I have a sense of honor. Don't insult me by questioning it, even in jest, ever again." Holy shit. He's genuinely pissed about this. I suspected it was an act, but… I quickly nodded my acquiescence. He seemed to lighten his mood then. UH-oh.
"Condition Two: You have to answer the question honestly that I am about to ask you. And keep in mind I am a better human lie detector than Robert DeNiro."
"DAMMIT! I knew this was just a trick! I am gonna cut off your…"
"Hold it right there, Mrs. Bobbitt! While I admit to using this situation to my advantage, it was not my sole purpose." I eased back my venom. "…But it is a happy benefit." He smirked.
"You low-down scum sucking…"
"ah, ah, AH! Temper, temper. You promised!" I ground my teeth.
"What do you want to know?" I hissed.
"It's a two-parter."
"NO way! Nuh-uh. You said one question. One is all you get! You are a scumbag!"
"I get how ever many I want now that you just broke condition one." SHIT. Was he reincarnated and was a lawyer in a previous life?
"Devious bastard! Fine! But that's it!" He had so pleased with himself. It was written all over his damn face. I was barely controlling the urge to make him a soprano. The hard way! "Shoot."
"Tell me, what were the detailed circumstances of your relationship with Manoso, past and current tense?"
"Jesus, you don't ask for much, Stone!"
"Adding a third question if you don't answer in 5 seconds." He looked at his wristwatch. "Four, three, two..."
I panicked. "Ranger and I slept together! There, now you know."
"Geez. That was shocking, Jersey." He grabbed his chest dramatically. "GASP! You had RE-LA-SHUNS!"
"You aren't making this anyway easier on me."
"Sorry, habit."
"Shut your trap, sit back and enjoy. 'Cause I'm only gonna tell this story once."
He made the univeral sign of all serious confidants, the zipping of the mouth manuever.
"Classy, Stone. Classy with a capital "K."Anyway… where to start? You know," I sighed and walked to the edge of the bed and sat down with my head in my hands. "I haven't told anyone what I am about to tell you, not a freakin' living soul."
He sat next to me and wrapped his arm around my shoulders. "Then it's even better that I asked. You can't hold things in. Some secrets can eat a person up inside."
"Part of it's not a secret. Part of it is. Or was. Not after this morning." I closed my eyes and grimaced, remembering the events and subsequent conversation with Bobby. I shook my head to clear it. "But I'm sure some have guessed. Here it is, in a nutshell."
"Two years ago Ranger took me on as his pupil after a mutual friend requested that he help me with my bounty hunter skills, or in this case my lack thereof." I laughed remembering how truly shit-y I was at my job. "It's a wonder I survived as long as I did before I met him. Heck, even after I met him! I didn't take anything seriously. Not the stalkers, the death threats from rapists, and psychos coming and going in my apartment all hours of the day and night. But Ranger, he took it all in stride. He was fucking Batman! He knew everything, and boy was he ever mysterious! Do you know I never even knew where he lived during all that time? Still don't." I shook my head and looked at Stone. He was as blank faced as his name implied. Funny. Guess he doesn't think that is unusual in relationship. I soldiered on.
"He was the Henry Higgins to my Eliza Doolittle. He helped me numerous times over two years. I even helped him a time or two." I grinned remembering the mess I made with Ramos. "In that period we developed a relationship. I was in denial and thought it was only friendship for the longest time. I was still going out with a vice cop then." I smiled fondly at the thought of Morelli. He didn't piss me off so much now that he wasn't such a big factor in my life. Go figure. "The cop and I were tumultuous at best of times and homicidal at the worst. " I recalled our fights. "You should have seen our breakup." I shook my head. "But anyway, I'm off topic. Where was I? Oh yeah. Ranger and I danced a cat and mouse game of attraction. Charge and retreat. I was so off center. By the time my relationship with the cop was on the skids, Ranger must have had enough and that's when we made the deal." I sighed and stared into space. "That fucking deal." I shook my head and moaned.
I cleared my throat and began again.
"In exchange for helping me with a difficult skip…I would sleep with Ranger. Twelve hours he said." I shut my eyes not wanting to see Stone's face. I was still ashamed over the circumstances of that deal and how easily maneuvered I was.
"I gave in. I would like to be able to look you in the eye and tell you why, but even now I can't. It's beyond my comprehension. The man scared and yet exhilarated me all at the same time. Like a moth to the flame. When Ranger came to collect, I didn't object." Tears gathered in my eyes. FUCK That! No way would I give in and let him break me even now, just by recalling events! "I guess I thought he would admit that he felt something more for me than he had admitted to before. I know I did. But afterward, the next day, he told he to go back to the cop and works things out. That he didn't 'do' relationships. That there was no room for me in his life. I didn't really believe him. Not even when he left me cold in that apartment. Not even when he didn't return my messages." I finally turned around and looked Stone in the eye for the first time since starting this sordid tale.
"Not even when he left town without a word."
Stone pulled me into a hug. I just snuggled in. It felt good. I know I really didn't know this guy but at the same time I did. I just knew deep down somewhere that he was safe, somehow. Instinctually. It was sort of primeval in nature. Too weird.
"And now?" Stone startled me by asking the question. "Now what do you have?"
"I honestly don't know, but I do know one thing."
"What's that?"
"I know I can't do it anymore."
"You'll have to clarify, Jersey. I don't speak klingon, remember?" I barked a laugh.
"Yeah, I remember." I gave a watery smile. "I can't be a partner in that weird, messed up dance we had going on. I can't just pick up where we left off. Not even if I wanted to. Even though I had his respect and he had mine, Even though I trusted him with my very life… I couldn't trust him with my…um…other things." I finished lamely.
"So it's over?"
"Yeah. I guess it is. I don't think I figured that out until just now." I looked at him. "Thanks for helping me figure this out."
"No sweat, Jersey. Dr. Phil don't have nothin' on Big Daddy Stone." He beat his chest like an ape. How mature.
I wobbled a laugh. "Yeah."
"But we're not done here."
"Huh?" He held up two fingers and wiggled them.
"Two-parter, remember?"
"How could I forget…?" I grumbled. "You won't let me."
He smirked but sobered quickly. Double Uh-oh.
"So, second part:" I waited for the drum roll. GAWD, this man was too damn dramatic. It was like the second coming of Joan Rivers.
"Do you love him?"
FUCK.
"Wake up and answer! Avoidance, though I hear is your specialty, will not work with me. I won't LET you! Now answer. DO YOU LOVE RANGER?"
To be continued in chapter 12…
Close Encounters of the Concrete Kind
By FlyingKit aka Christine
Note; STD disclaimers apply. I am a NON-PROFIT gal with no earthy thoughts, or heavenly for that matter, of making ANY kind of moola for this luverly little tale.
Thanks for the feedback and support, ladies. It's nice to be beloved, even if it's all in my mind… wiping a tear from eye truly, thank you. Makes this jaded little girl believe in Santa again. C.)
Chapter 12
"Wake up and answer! Avoidance, though I hear is your specialty, will not work with me. I won't LET you! Now answer. DO YOU LOVE RANGER?"
"Well, I think…I mean I thought…I mean…er… "Big sigh. "Can we do this later? When I can get my thoughts together?"
"Jersey." Stone grabbed my shoulders in a kung fu grip. "If we wait for that to happen, you won't have anything to worry about…"
HUH?
"…'Cause we'll both be long dead and buried." He smirked.
Total head smack! I groaned. Lord, preserve me from funny men! I punched him in the upper arm. "Shaddup, Tony Robbins! Ugh!"
"Hey! Watch the merchandise! I bruise easily." He yelled while rubbing his arm. I snorted and performed an Olympic caliber eye roll. "Well, its' true! I do." Stone sniffed disdainfully in my general direction. "I'm a Michelangelo, a delicate piece of high-brow art."
"You're right about that. Definitely a piece of somethin'…" I grumbled. "Hey, maybe even a delicate flower is possible too. It's amazing what beautiful plants can grow out of bullshit." I smiled up at him.
"Cute, Jersey. But seriously," He's not gonna back down. "How many times am I gonna have to threaten you, huh? Because I can back them up…"
"Apparently many, MANY times…" At his dark look I tacked on: " All right! All right! I got the picture. It's just that I'm not real clear on how I feel anymore, ya know? It's like this." I cleared my throat wondering how to start. "I feel like an Etch-a-Sketch."
Stone shot me a skeptical dagger. "OH-Kay. Etch-a-Sketch. Check. So you feel like a toy?"
I glared. "Hush. Let me explain. Visualize me as the Etch-a-Sketch. Say I have a picture that I had worked on for years, of what I thought was perfection. Something I thought, no, that I believed was everything I wanted…" I snorted, shooting him a grimace. "I guess, you could say that I was thinking I had a made myself my own Michelangelo's David. But then one day someone came along and shook me all to hell. And now…" I paused to gather my thoughts and tried again. "And now what I thought was perfection, the epitome of everything I desired, was just a bunch of magnetic slivers, a huge abstract mess at the bottom of a blank slate. Now the question is do I try to recreate that work," I looked at him intently. "That love…" I turned away from him and stared into space. I thought of all the times I had believed that Ranger felt something more for me. I thought about That Night. The night we finally came together so perfectly… "I thought he was telling me something more with that joining, but all it was, was flesh. Now that I know it isn't what I thought it was do I try to make him love me?" At this point I wasn't even aware Stone was in the room anymore. I had a floating feeling. Like I was outside myself looking in or something. I wonder if this is what's meant by the phrase out of body experience. I mentally shrugged. I guess its emotional shock. I've had the clinical shock so many times since becoming a bounty hunter that I could diagnose the symptoms from a million miles away.
"Jersey…Stephanie… You do know you can't make someone love you, right?" Stone jolted me by asking this loaded question.
"Uh, sorry. I guess I am talking a bit to myself here. Thinking out loud if you will." I shrugged and released the breath that I wasn't aware I was holding. "I think I realize that. I love him. He may never love me back. Thems the facts, Jack, and I guess I have to live with it." I joked trying to lighten the oppressive mood I had produced with this conversation. "Bobby's right. Fairy tale endings are for the birds! A part of me may always love Ranger but I need to move past it. Or at least recognize it and try to move on... To a normal relationship… if such a thing exists." I mumbled and then gave a little smile.
"Yeah, it exists, Jersey. You just have to be open to it. Real love in a grown up relationship exists. You just have to know when or where to look for it…"
"I think I should be offended by that grown up love comment, but part of me knows you're right." I turned to look at him. "I hate that, ya know…"
"Hate what?"
"When you are right. It's a disgusting habit you have developed. I think I liked it more when you were Billy BadBoy and I was Dudley Doright. The world seemed a little brighter then…"
"You are one messed up chick." I shot him the death rays and went to open my mouth, but he covered it with his Goliath paw before I could utter one scathing syllable. "But I like that about you. Besides, it's not like you are totally and solely responsible for your outcome." His eyes twinkled brightly.
I thought about my mother, the Burg, my farce of a marriage to the Dick, Morelli, heck even Vinnie! Ugh. "You have no idea…" I murmured. "But I will step up and take the ultimate blame." I laughed a little inside. If he could only meet the twisted menagerie that influences my life. A plan, with a capital 'P', hatched in my pea brain. Heh heh. Pay back for this forced heart-to-heart was gonna be a bitch for Beautiful Boulder Boy over here. I tried not to give away my thoughts.
"What's got you grinning like Sylvester the Cat, Jersey? It worries me to hear your wheels turn. All that rust makes them noisy."
You, my friend, have no idea how VERY worried you should be. I didn't rise to his bait and slapped on an innocent face. "Who me? Nah. Just relieved to have this conversation over and done with."
"Oh by no means is this over. I still have a very important question to ask you…" I looked at him, waiting as patiently as I could. We sat there several minutes, on that bed, just looking at each other. Like blank faced guppies.
"If I blink first does that mean you win?" Stone never even batted a single eyelash in response. I debated on crossing my eyes at him to spark a reaction, but I wasn't sure he'd appreciate the highbrowed caliber of that humor. Hey, what can I say, it worked in 4th grade. The classics never die. "Sooooo, ask away, Stoney Baby."
He just keeps staring expressionless. If his wheels were turning I sure as hell couldn't tell from here. "Uh, anyone home?" I waved my hand in front of his face. He grabbed it forcefully by the wrist. "Shit! That hurts, Stone!" Recognition flashed in his eyes and he eased back on his grip but didn't let go. "Dammit, Bam-Bam! What's with the passive aggressive demo? That hurt. I think you bruised me here."
He raised my palm to his mouth and kissed it. Can you say shocked? Hello! Uh, who the hell are you and what did you do with Rocky? Fortunately my brain wasn't reconnected to my mouth yet so all I did was gape slack jawed at him.
"Forgive me. It was an unconscious act. My reflexes are quick on the defense. Even to unsubstantiated threats."
Now how the heck do you follow up that comment! I went with the obvious route.
"Uh, S'okay. No harm, no foul." I giggled nervously.
"No. It's not okay." He examined my wrist, which was already sporting some pretty bad ass blue-ish purple indentations. "THIS..." he indicated by raising my wrist. "This is never okay. You didn't deserve it. I wasn't properly attuned to my environment and you paid the price for my lapse. I can never apologize enough for hurting you."
I erupted into fit of laughter. He cocked an eyebrow and didn't look very amused.
"What's so funny? I really don't see the humor in this…"
I cut him off. "You wouldn't. It's just that for over two years people have been telling me to be more aware of my surroundings and now that I have finally started getting my act together…" I guffawed a few sharp barks of spontaneous laughter before regaining some composure. "It's just that I'm not used to being the one present who is aware of their surrounding and notgetting the speech."
The corners of his mouth twitched. "Ah. I gotcha." He furrowed his brow. "Somehow I can't see you sitting still for a speech like that." He sobered. "But that doesn't detract from the seriousness of my error. I am a trained professional. That kind of lapse can get me…" he looked intensely into my eyes, "and those around me VERY DEAD. Do you forgive me?"
"Knock it off, please. It's just a little bruise."
"Jersey, I mean it, I…"
"Look if I say 'forgiven' could we can this and never speak of it again? I know it was an accident. Just don't do it again and we'll call it even. Besides, what got you so distracted that you drifted off like that? Had it been me I would have said I was thinking hard about something and..." A ton of bricks smashed down. "That's it, isn't it!" I shouted like I had said the word 'EUREKA!' I shook my head in disbelief. "You were pondering something, huh? Will wonders never cease. Proof of intelligent life on Planet Pebbles!"
He grinned. "Yeah, I just think a little quieter than some I could mention…" He held up a hand to ward off mine. "I'm a fast learner, too." He chortled.
"By the way, Plato, what was your question?"
"It can keep. We better hop to it and check in with Baby Sherman downstairs." He stood and looked at his watch, and pulled me to my feet. Huh, guess that means my presence is required too. Drat. "We are already late for the meeting."
"There was a set meeting? With a real check-in time and everything?" When he nodded I grumbled. "No one bothers to tell me ANYTHING!" I threw my hands up in the air before turning and stalking to the door. I flung it open and threw over my shoulder: "Are you comin', Pokey, or what?"
He grinned mischievously and I held up a hand as he walked in my direction. "Don't even bother to say it. I should have known you would go there. Let's move."
Stone shut his door and locked it. That's weird. No one else seems to bother to do that. I shrugged. He must be a privacy freak. Huh. Guess that duffle will have to wait its turn for the Snoop Express to arrive. Hmmm, I wonder if Lester still keeps his lock picking kit in his leather jacket. Heh heh. I mentally rubbed my hands together in glee. Can you say 'open sesame?'
Stone put his hand in the small of my back and propelled me down the hall. "You're right Skipper, darlin'. Lets get a move on. I want front row seats for the next show." I had forgotten all about the drama that I was sure was to come when Bobby, Ranger and I had to share the same air space. UGH! I slapped my head and tried to stop our forward momentum by becoming dead weight. Stone was having none of it.
"AWW, Jersey." Pulling me forward by wrapping an arm around my shoulders and picking me half off my feet, Stone propelled me to my doom. "Buck up."
"You do realize that you are possibly signing someone's death warrant by encouraging me to attend don't you? I mumbled under my breath" Possibly mine…"
"After the first jolt, Ol' Sparky is a nice ride. Texas is always singing its praises…"
"Did I mention I hate you?"
"Uh, let me think… uh yeah. I do recall something about hatred and my name in the same sentence."
"Just checkin'…"
To be continued in chapter 13…