Disclaimer: All copyrights are the property of their respective owners. Any new characters are my property, and may not be reproduced without my explicit consent. Also, concerning this particular story, I know some of the things in here defy the show's canon (i.e. voiding much of the fifth season.)

I woke up to my alarm clock blaring into my ear. I looked around the room I shared with two of my brothers, but they were nowhere in sight. Then I looked at the clock. Oh, crap, I thought to myself. I slept late; someone changed the alarm time.

I looked at my watch. It was November 30th, 2003, and my family supposed to be going out to get a Christmas tree. Of all the days for Reese to fuck with the alarm, he had to pick this one. Why the hell do we have shop early anyway?

"Malcolm, get out here!" Mom shouted from the kitchen. I sighed; I had to get up now, whether I wanted to or not.

I got out of bed, and hunted around for clean clothes. It was hard to find anything in this house, let alone our room. Francis' old room was available, if he would let Mom shovel all his crap out of it. Is it too much to ask, that after almost 14 years of life, I get my own bedroom? I finally found some clean clothes. I started to get dressed, but then…

"MALCOLM, GET OUT HERE NOW!"

"MOM, I'M NOT DRESSED!" I shouted. As if she gives a damn.

"I DON'T CARE, GET DOWN HERE ANYWAY."

There was no point arguing when she used that tone.

I walked out to the kitchen and found mom talking with my brothers, and Craig. I blushed furiously. Craig stared at me. "MOM," I shouted, "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME CRAIG WAS HERE, I'M NOT EVEN DRESSED!"

"Well, you should've gotten up when you were supposed to." Reese told me smugly.

"Shut up!" I shouted. "Why the hell did you change the alarm time?"

"Who says I did?" Reese asked. "And by the way, why are you running around the house in your underwear, I thought you had more class than that."

"The only reason I'm walking around in my underwear is because you changed the alarm time." I responded.

"He did, I saw him." Dewey blurted out."

"REESE, IS THIS TRUE?" Mom thundered. There was some unseen compulsion to tell when she screamed like that.

"Yes," he muttered, staring at the ground.

"Well then mister, you are grounded for the next month," Mom said, unaware that Reese had ran out of the room You have made us all late. Malcolm, you have three minutes to get ready and get back down here.

"There's no hot water left for me to shower." I protested.

"I DON'T CARE!" she shouted.

I dashed up the stairs, and when I passed Reese, he punched me right in the stomach.

"You idiot," I snarled, doubled over from the pain.

I hobbled up to the bathroom and took off the boxers I had on. The bathroom was clean, so, contrary to what I believed at first, nobody had been in here.

At least there'll be hot water. I turned on the water, trying to get it warmer then usual, to ease the throbbing pain in my abdomen. I stepped in to the shower, turned the nozzle onto me…

"AHHHHHHHHHH" I shouted. What the hell, nobody ever cleans up after they're finished in here. The water was freezing; there was not a trace of warmth at all. I jumped out quickly. I gingerly stepped back in, quickly lathering my hair, and scrubbing down my body. According to the clock on the bathroom counter, I had one minute left. I rinsed quickly, dried off, flattened down my hair, and left. I just finished getting dressed when my mom called for me. It was time to go.

We got in the car and went down to the local tree lot.

"Well, let's try to get something under fifty dollars." Dad said

Reese sidled up beside me. "Enjoying yourself?" he asked.

"What do you think, moron?" I inquired sarcastically. Could my life get any worse?

I asked myself.

"Boys, get over here!" Mom ordered us.

We rushed over to where mom was. "I found it," she said

"What?" Dewey asked.

"A tree so good, you guys won't even be tempted to burn it. Dad said. "It's only fifty dollars, and it's seven feet tall. We paid that for a five foot tree last year."

"Well, actually buying it would solve that problem."

"Malcolm, don't you dare talk to your father that way."

"I'm sorry, I'm just a little upset about getting humiliated in front of the worst possible pain in the ass we know, all because you don't respect me enough to give me time to get dressed before leaving!"

"Malcolm, you shut your mouth now or you'll regret it." Mom said furiously, thrusting her finger in my face.

"Oh no" Dad muttered.

"What?" I asked angrily.

"I don't have the checkbook." Dad replied.

Reese looked around nervously, and whispered in my ear: "I burned it last week."

"You idiot!" I snapped at him. "Can't you go without destroying something for a week."

I didn't mean for Dewey to overhear the conversation, but he did, and Dewey had a penchant for talking when he shouldn't. He casually slipped next to mom and spilled the beans.

"YOU DID WHAT?" Mom asked Reese.

"I didn't do anything." Reese lied.

"You know how I grounded you for a month?" Mom asked.

"Make it two."

Reese looked totally pissed. I knew he would take his rage out on whoever was closest to him, so I made a mental note to stay away from him for a few days.

"Malcolm, get over here." Dad whispered.

"What…"

"Could you run over to the ATM and withdraw enough money for the tree? Withdraw only enough for the tree, and I want a receipt."

As luck would have it, I already knew their PIN number for their account due to an unrelated incident. I ran up to the ATM, and put the card in. I entered the PIN, & withdrew fifty dollars. I started walking back to the lot. I saw Reese watching me from the fence. I knew the look Reese had on his face. It meant that I was screwed when I got back to the lot. I walked as slowly as I possibly could. I was about halfway across when a car came tearing around the corner. I had no time to react, so it rammed into me. I flew in the air for a few seconds, and then landed painfully on my left side. The car sped away. The worst pain I ever felt was coursing through my body. I heard someone screaming and realized it was me.

Someone shouted: "Holy shit, call an ambulance! This kid's bleeding all over the place!"

I tried to get up, but pain shot through my left leg whenever I put weight on it. I managed to drag myself a few feet closer to the sidewalk. Every breath I took burned in my lungs. My family came running up to me.

"Don't worry son, I called the paramedics, everything's going to be fine."

"Holy crap, I can see your bone." Reese informed me.

I attempted to get myself onto a sidewalk, but I couldn't pull myself up. I laid on the ground for what seemed like hours, but was really only about 5 minutes.

I heard sirens in the background somewhere. I closed my eyes and fought against the searing pain. I was suddenly being moved up. I opened my eyes to discover I was on a stretcher. The ambulance doors slammed shut, and I closed my eyes and succumbed to the pain in my body.