I really just wanted to say thanks for all the wonderful reviews. Even though I don't deserve the kind of reviews I get. You know who you are. )
I think OTH people are the nicest and generally quite intelligent. I mean, they all have good taste in t.v. :D
FIFTEEN the small
It was Lucas that woke first the next morning.
If morning was truly a prelude to the day ahead, then this particular one should be nothing short of spectacular.
Yet, as he stared at ghostly white mists slipping away from the dawn, he wished he could follow. There was an ache in the back of his head, the kind of pain that seemed to settle in one's neck. He wondered if it was from the fight, tension, or sleeping without a mattress. It tended to drive Lucas into a state of melancholy whenever he was forced to slow down, "take a breather," as Karen called it. Luke sighed.
Maybe the sun would just turn around and fade backward into night. He wondered what scientists would name that phenomena. Probably the end of the world. Sometimes it almost felt like his world was going to end; that, or just swallow him up whole.
Maybe it was the timing. He seemed to forever being thrown up against Dan, for some reason or other. One would almost think he was trying to be near the man.
In the back of his mind, Lucas felt that he was missing something. Almost like he'd had this conversation with himself before.
"Stop thinking so loud."
"How long have you been watching me?"
Dan didn't bother opening his eyes. "I've been doing some planning. Someone has to figure things out."
"Ya, so we wouldn't be wandering around with home always over the next hill." Lucas felt color steal into his face; he was embarrassed that Dan had caught him brooding.
"So I underestimated a little. Didn't figure I'd be traveling with an invalid the entire way."
"Well, I haven't asked for any special treatment."
"And you won't get it."
"Fine."
"Fine here. What are you waiting for?"
"For?"
"Isn't it about your turn to get breakfast?"
"I'll manage." Luke stumbled out of his blankets, shaking them free of leaves and debris.
"See if you can scare up something fresh."
The blond tugged his shirt into place, fastening a button. "Don't worry."
Dan chuckled in amusement at Luke's irritation. Something both his offspring shared-whether expressed in defiant looks or biting sarcasm. A surprising capacity of anger.
"Why don't you shut up?"
The completely disrespectful voice of Nate. Dear Nate.
"I love to hear the sound of my son saying good morning to me. Hello, Dad."
"Whatever. Just cut the crap."
"What, is that your favorite word now? Crap. Everything's always crap to you."
"I know other words." Nathan flashed one of his peculiar frown/smiles. His brows drew down, while his mouth turned up in a mocking grin. "How about 'my dad's an ass'."
Dan's smile faded by inches. "You're not nearly as amusing as you used to be."
"You know, Jake, I think I see a tail."
"Count me out." Jagielski flopped onto his opposite side.
"Why don't you taunt Luke into tightrope walking? Then he can fall and break his legs and we'll carry him home piggy back."
"About what we've been doing." Dan poked at the blackened embers from last night's fire.
"Be a jerk on your own time."
Nathan turned on his heel, covers in hand, still rubbing the sleep from his eyes.
"You know, I'll think I'll help Luke." Jake hurriedly collected his gear, disappearing into the trees with amazing rapidity. Unless you were branded Scott, it was a little hard to stomach confrontations before breakfast. Jake figured one had to at least have a cup of coffee-even o.j.-if you were going to start a screaming fest.
Although the woods were alive with chorusing birds and dewy frosted emeralds, it was mainly ignored. Dan bent over the half burnt logs, concentrating on the leaves he was using for kindling. It was only so much racket to him.
Almost immediately Lucas stormed up with a variety of items. He emptied his shirt front, showering an odd collection of edibles about Dan's ears.
Dan Scott spared a casual glanced that roamed insultingly over Lucas' appearance.
A twig clung to the hair sculpting Luke's forehead; berry juice, spider-webbing, a fern frond trailing one shoe...
Five purple-stained fingers curled reflexively at the languid perusal.
That was it. Luke turned back, almost blindly. Something felt like it was going to snap. It had to give. The pressure Dan was putting on him. The pressure he was putting on himself. What was he thinking? He wasn't. What the heck was he trying to prove? Lucas hated the knowledge that sprang, unbidden...still trying to impress his dad. Because it felt like that's all he ever wanted. For some reason, he'd woke this morning with high hopes-the feeling that things might be a little bit different.
A hand closed around his elbow. Hard enough that Luke couldn't shake it.
He'd seen the way Luke looked at him. The strange hunger in his eyes Keith couldn't quite fill. Dan had seen it often enough in Nathan's, even though he couldn't understand that. He'd always been there for Nate.
And now, Lucas was a statue under his grip; chiseled in stone. An errant breeze caught at the ragged clothing, tugging it against him; Dan noticed for the first time how thin his son had become. The way he always tried to run away from himself when he thought someone might see into his heart.
He hadn't paid attention. Not much to any of them, least of all Lucas. The kid that should never have been. He wasn't supposed to have happened. It wasn't Dan's fault Karen insisted on keeping him.
They all acted like Dan was the bastard.
No, Lucas was. He wasn't supposed to happen!
"Luke-"
Dan struggled for the right words.
"It's not that I hated you. You just-"
What?
"Weren't supposed to happen."
Lucas finally responded to Dan's presence.
"That makes it all okay then."
"Well, what did you suppose I'd do? Adopt you?"
"I'm sorry I was born. I'm sorry I was born and lived and grew up. I'm sorry that you had to look at me all the time. That I reminded you of how I messed up your life."
Dan studied the tight set of Luke's jaw, his profile, because he refused to meet his father's eyes.
"I did the best I could."
The blond twisted his arm away. "If you had done nothing at all, it would have been okay." Lucas' mouth hardened. "You could have just left us alone."