Middle Earth Meets Dun Dun Dun The Atkin's Diet.

Sam, Frodo and Gollum are seen SLOWLY walking through the woods. They reach a clearning where Sam collapses, gasping for air.

"Mr. Frodo, I cannot take another step." He said struggling to fill his lungs.

"Sam! We JUST started walking! WALKING slowly for Elrond's sake."

"Haha, maybe the fat hobbit needsss to go on a diet." Said Gollum, as he stared at Sam's fatigue in delight.

"Why you-" Sam breathed and was then cut off.

"You know Sam I think Smeagol is right. Starting today you're going to diet...I remember reading about this one diet in one of Ucle Bilbo's poems." He cleared his throat ready to recite the poem when Gollum put a hand to Frodo's mouth.

"Nooo master, no more of thossse poems, we cant stands them, they burn our earsses."

"Alright Smeagol, alright. I'll just say it planly... If I recall correctly the diet simply consists of cutting out carbohydrates." Frodo turned to look at Sam.

"Carbo-hoo-see-what-sits?" Asked, Sam.

"Any of various neutral compounds of carbon, hydrogen, and oxygen. Such as sugars, starches, and celluloses. Most are formed by green plants and which constitute a major class of animal foods." Gollum, explained. "Stupid fat hobbit, doessn't knows anything."

Frodo and Sam stared at Gollum in amazment. Then Gollum galloped off.

"So...what can't I eat?" Sam asked, dejectedly.

"Well...no more lembas..."

"But Mr. Frodo! That's all we have to eat! You don't mean to say...I'm not meant to eat at ALL?" Yelled, Sam.

"Don't be silly Sam! Do you honestly think I would have you starve yourself? You can eat meat...And as you can see these forests have an abundant sorce of prey." Frodo looked around at the still forest. A insect scuttles across the forest floor.

"You can't be serious..."

While Gollum is romping through the forest he comes across a pieces of multi-colored parchment, a jar of paste and a large bag of odd little things in the form of slender tubes (Known to us as macaroni!).

"What can we do with these precious.

Delighted squeaks are heard.

Hours later, fingers glued together and all, Gollum holds up a macaroni masterpiece. A mosaic of the one ring. "Ah, it is beautious presssious, beautiousss!"

Gollum brings his project back to the camp and proudly shows his artwork to Frodo.

"That's astounding Gollum! What a very nice job you did." Said Frodo.

Sam stared at the paper, his mouth watering at the site of the pasta.

While Gollum and Frodo are sleeping Sam quietly tip toes over to where Gollums picture is hung on a tree.

Tearing noises are heard.

The next morning Frodo is woken up by a shriek.

"What is it? What's the matter Frodo said, sitting up."

"It's ruined! Ruined precious! He ate it! He ate my pressious." Gollum said pointing at Sam.

"I did no such thing!" Protested Sam, with bits of macorni stuck to his mouth.

"You ate gollum's art project?"

A piece of construction paper lay on the ground with tiny bits of macorni on it, the only remnants of the mosaic gollum had created out of the curvy pasta, that had survived Sam's mad, carbohydrate driven binge.

"Stupid fat hobbit ate my presious!"

A/N That's all for now! Here's a sneak peak at the next chapter: Saruman walks by the palantir he briefly glances at his reflection. Stops in his tracks and walks back to the palantir staring at himself. Grima, does it look like i've gained any weight?