Puffy bits of cotton rode the sky by the time Scott and company finished their uphill rest. In the distance, hawks uttered their shrill, piercing cries. Preying.
Luke sat, legs crossed, idly dragging a stick through the scuffed dirt. It had been so dry that the dark soil parted like sand from his efforts.
Scratch, scratch.
Nathan was methodically destroying berries, apparently heedless of the fact that it'd taken hours to gather, clean and lay them out to dry. He was also unaware of the little, if any, attention his comments toward his brother were garnering.
Nathan's mouth was moving. Lucas glanced across at it, occasionally, for politeness' sake. He was mainly listening to the voice in his head.
What had Dan meant, 'did you ever miss me?'
And what kind of a question was that. He had the sinking suspicion it was only more mind games, meant to unravel Lucas (even more than he already was). For one second, an odd image of a yarn figure appeared in his brain-slowly being wound into a perfect little ball.
It wasn't 'I missed you.' No.
The blond wiped the ground clear with an irritated thrust, snapping the twig in frustration. On the opposite side of the path, Dan consulted his wristwatch.
"Almost time, boys."
Time for what.
Dan caught the little glare Luke sent his way, from beneath lowered brows. The kid was edgy, constantly in motion. He realized that Dan was staring back and immediately jerked his head aside. Scott smiled to himself. Luke was putting on a good imitation of sheer blase; save for the nervous gestures- twisting the buttons on his shirt front. Teasing the thread in his jeans.
"Lucas. Dreamland's closed!"
Luke jerked, startled at the loudly spoken words. Dan wore a small smile, his brother and Jake exchanging grins.
How long they'd been standing there, waiting, he didn't know.
"Need help with the bag?" Nate was genial enough, but Luke was in no mood to respond. He got to his feet, avoiding Dan's stare. He could feel the color creeping into his cheeks.
"I'll catch up."
"Hey, buddy, we were only joking."
"I'll be there." Tersely spoken. He knew Jake didn't deserve it. But sometimes-things just got all confused. He needed to be alone. He wanted to tell Jake, but not with Dan watching him. Like a naked cell under a microscope
.
Nathan's forehead furrowed into lines of concern.
"Catch right up?"
"Sure." Lucas was tempted to add,"little brother," but bit his tongue. Dan Scott would never know how much he got to him. The knowledge he was under Luke's skin was one thing. The fact that he was in Luke's heart was entirely different.
Suddenly the Wizard of Oz made sense.
"Now I know I have a heart 'cause it's breaking."
Lucas gripped his fingers till they hurt, twisting them into his sleeves. He sank blindly onto a rotted stump, staring, unseeing, at the pink and blue wildflowers that dangled from the slender stems at his feet.
Seconds eked into minutes. Clouds chasing shapes in the sky.
His eyes burned, dry and blurred. The emotions ran far deeper than surface tears. Lucas made a small sound in his throat, letting the knapsack fall to the ground; his palms were scarred with the nylon weave, he'd crushed it so.
Dully feeling the prick of discomfort, he held his fingers out, studying them blindly.
Sometimes he hated the person he was. He hated the person who his own father couldn't stand to look at.
"I hate you! I hate you!"
The treetops arched over him, the ceiling of a cathedral.
Whispering, sighing, no answer did they make.
"I hate you! I hate you." Relishing the pain as he slammed himself into unyielding bark.
"Hate you." Only whispering it aloud.
"Luke."
Familiar voice, yet strange. Lucas wouldn't turn, but he didn't have to.
Still slumped on the fallen oak, hard arms encircled his slender frame. Tentative at first, then gripping so tight it crushed his breath.
Lucas tried to gather up the fragments of his emotions, composed, unyielding-almost heaving. His fingers tugged weakly at the forearms clasped around his shoulders.
Dan's voice came out husky, so close to Lucas' ear.
"If you still want me...please forgive me..."
Lucas bent his head, unable to speak.
"Son?"
That single word was all it took, melting the stiff rigidity...
"I want you, dad. I want- a dad..."
"And I want my first boy." Dan turned Lucas to face him, expression softening at the unveiled fear in his eldest's eyes.
"It's for real, Luke. For real."
"Promise?"
The blond was amazingly fragile, child like with the walls crumbling about him. He found his arms trapped in Dan's vise-like hug as the older Scott drew him up. Clutching Lucas like he was still that little child of five, solitary figure on the playground.
"So-" Dan attempted to smile, through the mist clouding his vision-"Did you miss me?"
Luke pulled away, rubbing a sleeve across his eyes.
"Not really."
"Oh, right?" Dan studied him with that unnerving directness.
"I mean, I guess I did." Lucas smiled through his tears.
"Well, we might have to work on this arrangement." Scott guided Lucas around the forest debris, arm still around his shoulders. Unwilling to let his son go.
Lucas didn't respond, the smile on his shadowed face lighting up Dan's world.
"That smart ass-ed disposition of yours. It has to change."
"And mom always said it was the only thing I got from you."
"I'm sure something else can rub off."
Dan Scott's laughter caught the wind, floating upward. With Lucas beside him, shy down-turned lashes sweeping his cheeks. His vulnerable son.
"Hey, look at me."
And it was okay. Unbelievably, Dan thought it was okay.
Luke wasn't all grown up yet. He still needed a dad.
No matter how late.
Nate sniffed, hiding the sound behind a cough.
"Hey." Jake touched his arm.
The two waited on the trail above, watching light and dark haired forms making their way slowly up wards. A hawk swooped low, the rustle of his feathers nearly touching the two as it dipped, soaring down hill.
"You know, you're going to make me cry."
Nathan tossed his friend a disgusted look.
"Don't even try to deny it, man." Jake grinned back. Slow and easy.
"Whatever. I knew it'd happen sooner or later."
"Uh-huh.":
Hey, please don't kill me. I hope you don't mind the reconciliation. It isn't the end of the story, either...but thanks for reading. and THANKYOU for the reviews. Hugs to all!