Disclaimer: FMA is not, has never been, and will never be mine…unless things really go to hell.
Warnings: the usualA/N: The answer to what you've all been wondering: What are they doing in that closet anyway? Hehe, this one took a while, because quite frankly, I had no idea.
Monday
Dear Diary,
I have a secret.
Well, I did. Then Armstrong came in and psychoanalyzed me. I hope he doesn't tell Maes. If he does, it won't be a secret much longer.
Armstrong says I have to write my secret down in a diary and talk about it.
I didn't think a diary was a safe place to write down that kind of information, so I bought one of those little diaries with a lock and key.
But I lost the key. I think Black Hayate ate it.
So I have to leave this one unlocked.
Damn, who smoked all my cigarettes? I can't have gone through that many… oh yeah, the secret.
I like…
I really like…
Grr….
Don't laugh at me.
I am completely
and totally
irrevocably
undeniably
wholeheartedly
insanely
helplessly
suffering
from a
HUGE
crush
on…
Cain Fury.
I said don't laugh!
I need a cig…
Angsting Away (a.k.a. Jean Havoc)
Tuesday
Dear Diary,
The last time I smoked this much in a 24-hour period was the first time I visited Hawkeye's family and her little sister kept hitting on me and Hawkeye kept threatening to shoot me if I did anything and her parents for some odd reason thought Hawkeye and I were together and her dad gave me this weird talk about how to treat a woman right and raise kids and change diapers…
Want to know why I'm smoking so much?
It all started about midmorning when I heard a huge ruckus coming from the Elric brothers' part of the dorms and I decided to go see what all the hullabaloo was. Was rather alarmed to find said brothers…together…ahem.
How do they do anything when Al's a giant suit of armor anyway?
And the height difference seems like it'd be a big problem…
I just realized that if Ed EVER gets hold of this diary I am a dead man.
Then, as if that wasn't traumatizing enough, I got this feeling that someone was following me and watching me. I wonder if Armstrong decided to observe us all in our day-to-day routines to see if he could get any further insights into our characters. I doubt it's him, though. Those sparkles are hard to miss, even if he's trying to be sneaky.
Went to the coffee room to try to drown out images of Elric brothers on floor of dorm with insane levels of caffeine only to realize HE was there.
Decided to play it cool.
Said, "HI FURY!"
Maybe was not so cool.
Managed to have decent conversation though. It went like this:
Me: HI FURY!
Fury: Hello Second Lieutenant
Me: So…
Fury: So…
Me: nervous giggles
Fury: scratches head and smiles politely (he's so cute when he does that)
Me: So…paperwork calls, then!
Fury: Yep. See ya.
Armstrong says I should just tell him I like him. He says that a lot of times we are so blinded by our own feelings for other people, we don't realize they have the same feelings for us. Asked him what the hell that was supposed to mean, and he said he couldn't tell me anything else or he'd be breaking therapist-patient confidentiality.
Does he know something I don't?
I'm going to buy more cigarettes now.
Longing for Love (a.k.a. Jean Havoc)
Wednesday
Dear Diary,
Do you think a guy like Fury could ever like a guy like me? I mean, he's so sweet and gentle and nice, and I'm just this big guy who smokes and makes ill-advised jokes about eating puppies when I'm nervous and communicates in monosyllables whenever I run out of cigarettes… which is all the time now.
At least I'm good looking.
Aren't I?
I mean, I got awesome blonde hair and a tall, manly figure.
Was in locker room trying to decide if uniform shows off said figure adequately but was rudely interrupted by Roy's laughter. Have only two things to say to that:
Who spies on people in the locker room? Evil, pervy Roy.
Does that mean I'm not really studly?
Drowning in Misery (a.k.a Jean Havoc)
Thursday
Dear Diary,
9:56AM
Walked over to Fury's desk this morning with every intention of coming clean and telling the truth and just getting it over with.
What I ended up saying was more like, "Fury, I…uh…er…you see…um…I want…to say…that you…um…Can you fix my radio?"
Was forced to run back to office and break radio before Fury figured out that it was all just a ploy to get him into my office.
Now I'm sitting here writing while Fury fixes my radio. He wants to know how it managed to get smashed into a billion pieces and why my wall now has a radio-shaped dent in it. Think I'll blame it on Ed.
I can't believe he's actually fixing it. I smashed it pretty good. Just goes to show you he's really good with his hands…
Oh jeez Roy just came busting in with this huge smile on his face. He must be fresh from a hair-pulling match with Edward. Hm, that maniac look is rather unsettling when it's directed toward me.
Ow, he just grabbed my ear!
Ow, Roy, stop…hey…what are you doing!
10:03AM
Oh god. Roy just locked me in the closet with Fury! I am so screwed.
And not the good kind!
10:06AM
There is absolutely no space in here. We're sitting so close our knees are touching. Self-control wavering…
10:09AM
Uncomfortable silence broken by Fury who said we should probably look for a light or something. Mention of light reminded me that I have no cigarettes in here.
11:23AM
I didn't know this was where Roy keeps his mini-skirts.
1:42PM
I'm hungry.
3:19PM
Had another wonderful conversation with Fury. It went like this:
Fury: So…what was Roy yelling about love and feelings and stuff?
Me: I dunno.
6:27PM
I think Roy left for the night without letting us out.
8:49PM
Was suffering terrible withdrawal headache. Had buried head in hands and was moaning unintelligible things under breath when felt wonderfully cool, strong hands on shoulders and running through hair.
Ruined moment by jumping up in surprise and looking down at adorably flushed looking Fury who said that sometimes a shoulder rub can help with nicotine withdrawal.
Decided to sit back down and test theory.
Yep, Fury is definitely good with his hands.
Abused and Confused (a.k.a. Jean Havoc)
Friday
Dear Diary,
8:13AM
Woke up to find Fury's head resting on my shoulder. Was extremely content just to sit there and watch him sleep. I mean, really, you can't blame me; he looks so cute with his glasses slightly askew and his hair all messed up and with the morning sunlight streaming down and revealing natural brown highlights I didn't even know he had…
Sunlight?
A WINDOW!
9:24AM
Previous excitement over window ruthlessly crushed as have discovered that window is too high to reach.
How did I discover this?
Fury and I tried climbing the shelves.
This resulted in rather embarrassing fall on my part that upset Fury's shelves so much he fell, too.
Was delighted when he landed on top of me.
Was rather sorry to see him scramble away with an embarrassed mutter and apology.
Now he keeps shooting me questioning looks.
10:46AM
Pounding on door isn't bringing any rescuers. Gave up when discovered fists were actually bruised.
How long does Roy expect us to stay in here anyway?
11:07AM
EW…Who knew headquarters was infested with rats? They keep coming in all over the place. At least Fury has a distraction now. He even named them: Jemima, Bob, Lumps, Corey, Matilda, and Ed.
Ed is, of course, the runt.
My comment that if worse came to worse, we could always eat them was not received well.
11:58AM
Now there are snakes. Honestly. Roy needs to look into this.
Uh-oh. I think one of the snakes just ate Ed.
12:30PM
FINALLY! Roy slipped us a couple sandwiches and a chocolate bar.
Gave no answer when he asked if we'd admitted anything yet. None of his damn business anyway.
Fury's giving me those looks again.
12:46PM
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
SPIDERS!
1:12PM
Was rather embarrassed to admit huge fear of spiders to Fury. He didn't seem to mind, though.
He also didn't seem to mind when I jumped into his arms (totally without thinking) to get away from said spiders.
Was rather amazed to find he can hold me up.
The man is stronger than he looks.
2:12PM
This is getting ridiculous.
4:29PM
Have decided that just need to come out and say it. Need to be a man. If I don't, we're going to be here all weekend.
If I die, Ed can have my dirty magazines. Hawkeye can have my gun. Falman and Breda can duke it out over my car. Mustang, you get nothing. Nothing I say!
5:20PM
Had super-duper-awesome-incredible-phenomenal-stupendous-earth-shattering-wonderful conversation with Fury!
It went like this:
Me: Fury.
Fury: Yes?
Me: I have something to tell you.
Fury: What?
Me: I….
Fury: What?
Me: I….
Fury: What?
Me: I…
Fury: WHAT?
Me: I'minlovewithyou.
Fury: What? I didn't hear you.
Me: I LOVE YOU.
Fury:…
Me:…
Fury:…
Me:…
Fury: Well then WHY AREN'T YOU KISSING ME?
6:22PM
Did I mention Fury was good with his hands?
7:17PM
Heh.
Was so caught up in doing…things, I didn't even think to yell to Roy that I'd confessed.
And now he left for the weekend.
Heh.
Guess that means I have a lot of time to continue doing…things.
Who's laughing outside the door?
Extremely Happy, Ridiculously Joyful, Still Trapped (a.k.a. Jean Havoc)
FIN
A/N #2: Ahh! I'm so sorry! I forgot to thank people for reviews. Bad Dustwind. Bad!
Dominus: Need some serious brainstorming for Hughes. He deserves the best.
CK: All I can do in reference to what I have planned for Armstrong is giggle.
Sharp23: Glad you like!
Spades: Oh by all means, use whatever. And I hope this met your closet expectations!
Beefy Baka: I love your name. Please show this to everybody! Yea for big people!
Chaos of Hearts: To be honest, the situation was going downhill from the time I started these. Now we're just headed to the pit of doom.
Kori hime: Hmm…that worked out…cool! And Roy/Ed undertones are so much fun to write. Even though I wouldn't know subtlety if it bit me.
Thank you all so much! Reviews make my world go 'round!