A/N: Bah! Sorry this took almost a week, but this was the week before spring break, and all my professors were like, "Oh…I need an actual grade for this class…why don't I assign a paper AND a test for the last day of class? Dustwind just doesn't have enough excitement in her life," and it was all downhill from there. frazzles

I'm so glad you liked Havoc's diary! I had been a little worried it wasn't up to par. Had to do Fury's next. His and Havoc's just go together. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: If pigs fly, then I own FMA. Pigs do not fly. Draw your own conclusions.

Monday
Dear Diary,

Armstrong came in this morning and told me I am too shy and I don't have enough self-confidence. He says I need to stick up for myself and speak my mind.

Actually, that's not true. What he really said was, "My dear Fury, you must throw off the shackles of shyness and inhibition and free yourself to experience life as you were meant to: as a man! Be not afraid to speak your mind, for there is no greater evil than to repress one's true self. If you have feelings you wish to express (coughahemforhavoccough) then it is your natural right and duty to do so (coughbecauseweallknowhavocneverwillcough)! To do this you must get in touch with your feelings (coughespeciallythoseforhavoccough) using a technique that has been in the Armstrong family for generations: keeping a diary!"

Meh, you get the point.

I offered him a cough drop, but he said he didn't need any.

Why is everybody always picking on me for being shy? First of all, it's a survival tactic here. You want to keep your head below the level of the bullets. Literally. Hawkeye's usually aiming for Roy or Havoc's head. It pays to be short sometimes.

Havoc's the only one who never tries to change me or attack me or anything. He's always so quiet around me. It's kind of nice. Plus, he tends to be the one to draw all the gunfire when he's in the room, which really makes me feel a lot safer.

Wish he'd come around more often.

As for the expressing my feelings part…I'm sure nobody wants to know about those. Plus, when you write things down, people find ways to read them. Look at Hawkeye for example. She never should have written that stuff about her and Roy in the girls' bathroom. Now EVERYBODY knows.

Mother of…I think the sparkles scratched my lenses.

Cain Fury

Tuesday
Dear Diary,

Came into work this morning only to find Breda crying on top of his desk again because he'd seen a rat.

Apparently when Roy told me to "take care of the rat problem," he meant "kill the rats," not "feed them because they're hungry."

It was an honest mistake!

Bah, I'm not going to kill them now. They're cute! And they trust me. And they make nicer company than Hawkeye.

Just because I caught her carving Riza and Roy 4ever into her desk last night is no reason to send any bullets flying my way!

Then Roy came in all grumpy because… he's Roy…and yelled at me to make some coffee.

What is this? "Fury, take care of the rats!" "Fury, do your paperwork!" "Fury, do my paperwork!" "Fury, make some coffee!" This was not in my job description! Well, maybe the paperwork was…but only my paperwork!

Had decided to take Armstrong's advice and stop letting them all walk all over me and REFUSE to be Roy's bi… gopher, but Havoc chose that moment to come back from the Elrics' dorm and look forlornly at the empty coffee maker, and I couldn't refuse such blatant need in the only one who ever treats me nicely, now could I?

Plus, he gave me the puppy dog eyes. I really can't do anything against the puppy dog eyes.

I wonder why he felt the need to yell "HI FURY!" when he came in, though. He looks on edge. I wonder what the Elric brothers were doing to make all that noise. Not much sets Havoc on edge.

Do you think he'd let me hug him? He looks like he needs one.

I'd better see to that coffee.

Maybe if Havoc gets to the coffee first, I can put something nasty in it for when Roy comes back…

I can always say I set it out for the rats.

Cain Fury

Wednesday
Dear Diary,

Was finally able to come out of hiding around lunchtime when was absolutely certain that the confrontation between Ed and Roy was completely over. When they get within 20 feet of each other, things have this tendency to spontaneously combust or transmute into food products.

I told Roy it was probably a bad thing when he forgot to demagnetize Al before sending him back to his room. He just smiled and tried to look innocent.

I'm sorry, but Roy trying to look innocent is like watching a crocodile smile…it's just scarier. I'm glad it's Ed and not me that has to deal with Roy's particular brand of attention. Not that Ed's figured out what all of Roy's attention means yet. Falman and Breda have a bet going as to how long it takes for one of them to finally jump the other. Falman says give it another week; Breda thinks it will go down sometime next month. I say they're being optimistic. Fullmetal's pretty stubborn.

And denial is such a comfortable state of mind.

Not that I'd know.

Ew. It really smells like fish in the hallway outside Roy's office. I hope that's not what they're serving for lunch.

I haven't seen Havoc since he went to the locker room to grab another pack of cigarettes. What could he possibly be doing?

Cain Fury

Thursday
Dear Diary,

9:56AM

Havoc came in this morning and after a great deal of unnecessary verbal dancing asked my to fix his radio. He then proceeded to run out of the room.

Maybe I need to stop making him coffee. I think it's reacting with the nicotine and making him tweak.

9:58AM

How in God's name did the radio get to be in this condition? Sigh.

9:59AM

Yeah, Havoc. Blame it on Edward. Right.

What the… Roy! Let go of my ear! I'll make your coffee later dangit! Ow!

10:03AM

I think Armstrong got to Roy, too. He was yelling something about feelings and expression. I didn't hear all of it because I was rather preoccupied with the fact that I was being locked in a closet with Havoc.

11:30AM

So…is this payback for putting the cayenne pepper in the coffeepot? Jeez, that was two days, ago! If so, what did Havoc do to deserve punishment?

12:21PM

I've never been this close to Havoc for so long before. Who knew he wore cologne?

And his legs are really muscular…not that I'm feeling him up or anything…it's tight in here, alright!

3:14PM

He says he has no idea what Roy was talking about with all the feelings and expression and stuff…but why is he blushing?

I kind of like it when he blushes.

4:42PM

I think I just realized something.

4:45PM

I'm sure you would like to know what that something is.

4:49PM

Oh God.

4:51PM

I like Havoc!

I need to get out of here!

5:50PM

I don't think Roy's coming back tonight…

5:56PM

He could have at least dropped off dinner!

6:43PM

So…Armstrong thinks I need to share my feelings.

Roy said something about Havoc and me both sharing feelings…

I have feelings for Havoc…

Havoc blushes whenever I look at him…

Havoc is clearly hiding something. He's all jumpy and twitchy…unless that's the cigs…

No, he's hiding something.

Hmm…

6:55PM

Maybe he…no, can't be.

7:13PM

But what if he did?

7:39PM

I need to test this out.

9:45PM

Score!

No, not that kind of score…yet.

But Havoc definitely likes…me. He had this withdrawal headache (he really should lay off the smokes) so I offered him a massage.

After his initial shock…he accepted.

He has muscular shoulders, too.

So why hasn't he said anything? I mean, come on, we've been in this closet for 11 hours now.

Oh well, I guess we can deal with this tomorrow. I don't want to wake him up. He'd just get another headache, and I kind of like watching him sleep. He's all curled up and his feet twitch like he's dreaming. Reminds me of my dog I had when I was a kid. I just wanna hug him.

But that would wake him up. And he'd take his head off my lap.

And that's just not acceptable.

Cain Fury

Friday
Dear Diary,

9:34AM

Was rather embarrassed to find that sometime during the night we'd shifted so that my head was on Havoc's shoulder.

Was rather annoyed to wake up to the sound of Havoc screaming in my ear "There's a window! There's a WINDOW!"

Yes, I know there's a window. It's too high.

But he didn't believe me. He started climbing the shelves.

I, of course, had to follow him because he could hurt himself climbing all the way up there.

Never thought to think he'd disrupt my shelves and take me with him when he inevitably fell. Which was why I was so embarrassed to land right on top of him.

He passed up an absolutely perfect opportunity to confess, too.

Maybe it's time to start giving hints. A questioning look, perhaps?

11:30AM

Questioning looks having no effect but to make him twitchy again. Sigh.

On the plus side, the rats have come to visit! We're on really friendly terms now; they let me pet them and everything. I've named them, too: Jemima, Bob, Lumps, Corey, Matilda, and Ed. Actually, it's kind of nice to have something to focus on other than Havoc not telling me things.

Havoc was joking when he said we might have to eat them, right? Right?

11:42AM

sniffle

We are gathered here today to mourn the death of our beloved Ed, who's untimely death suffered at the hands…er…fangs of a snake has come at such a shock. Though he was the runt, he was well loved. We shall miss you, Ed.

12:30PM

FOOD!

Shot Havoc a pointed look when Roy asked if he'd confessed anything yet.

I don't think he noticed.

Never seen a man eat so fast in my life.

1:30PM

giggle

snort

choking back laughter

Tee-hee. Havoc. Jean Havoc. The tough guy.

Is afraid.

Of spiders.

That's okay, anything that makes him jump into my arms like that is good by me.

On the minus side, he passed up another golden confession opportunity.

2:12

This is getting ridiculous.

4:30PM

He looks like he's planning something. I mean, that's what all the muttering to himself in the corner means, right?

5:15PM

Awww!

Havoc loves me. Not likes me. Loves me. And he said it so cute, too. He was all, "I'minlovewithyou," like he didn't really want to say it.

So, of course, I made him repeat it.

Until he shouted it.

Heh. Maybe I'll give him something else to shout about.

6:54PM

Didn't say anything when I heard Roy ask how things were going.

Havoc didn't say anything, either. I had him kind of distracted.

I like it in here!

Now I have the whole weekend to spend with Havoc!

Roy seems to think this is torture on us.

If this is torture, chain me to the wall!(1)

Is that me laughing maniacally or someone else?

Cain Fury

FIN

(1)I totally borrowed this line from whoever owns Oliver and Company. Decided to put a disclaimer on that, just in case.

Hee hee. I'm just glad I got to write the closet scene twice! Although, it turned out more fluffy than comic... Meh. It'll be either Armstrong or Hawkeye next. Not sure. Got big plans for both. Hm. I'll have more time to write, too, so you should get both this week.

Okay…deep breath… and go!

Linwe Jaganshi: Hm. Perhaps a Roy/Ed weekend special edition is in order. So much to do, so much to do…

AkiraElric: You guessed it! Always glad to be an inspiration!

Geraniums: Thank you muchly.

WinryRockbell: Hawkeye's acomin'. Please allow your face to revert back to normal.

Spades 44: Oh! You think I'm talented! That is so flattering. Thank you. Looks like I'm doing a weekend special edition of Havoc and Fury, too. I was actually thinking of taking the closet concept and turning it into a real fic…without most of the crack, of course.

Rage Aomori: Man! You can write reviews with huge words even after I fry your brain…I have Band-Aids? (Note: this author will not be held liable for any injury or damage that occurs to persons or computers while reading this fiction.) Thank you!

PinkStarz: Who does homework? Let's be honest.

Zeromaveric: I'll…try to work that in. Grins You'll either like Armstrong's or hate it, and that's all I'm sayin'.

BrianaLFBH: Winry may be hard because she's not there. Maybe I could do a second week (oh, god, so much work) where she visits. Or work her into the weekend somehow.

The Plushie Bandit: You're review left me speechless. glomps smoking Havoc plushie Thank you soooooo much. Maybe I should put out a warning about the water thing…heh. Please regard note for Rage Aomori. And please continue writing novel-length reviews. I will continue writing stories. Equivalent exchange, ne?

CK: One-liners are my favorites, too. And I hate Mondays. Although confetti makes them better.

Chaos of Hearts: Well, here's Cain. Riza's coming. We'll see about how I resolve the closet thing. I'm still brainstorming…

Demon Darkchild: I'm so glad you're enjoying these. I hope your floor is soft…