What if in a flash your world was over? Life, love, happiness, anger, and sadness. What id it was all over? I couldn't imagine if you had asked me too. I can still remember it as if it was yesterday. The nightmares continue, haunting my both day and night. Scared to keep my eyes open, scared to shut them. Everyday I am scared to be living in a world where I seem to be the only one dead. I am not really deceased, but I might as well be, since there is nothing for me to be living for. But still I live, hoping that day that everything happened will go away, or my life might get a little better. Trust me when I say it has to, if it doesn't I don't know what I am going to do.
It was raining the day we drove out to Long Island. I was in the car behind my father. Four men helped him get out of his car. It looked so much like a limousine, so I was using my vivid imagination to imagine that he and I were rolling up to a big celebrity party. Suddenly I was ripped away from my storyline, only to see the hand of my uncle reach into the car and awaited for my hand to meet with his. I laid my hand upon his and stepped out of the black car. My black dress flowed straight to the ground, where it started to absorb the water that was coating the ground. Instead of having a nice silky red carpet, there was only the stone walkway to greet us. It felt as though it was like walking on nails with your bare feet. We had finally gotten to where the men had helped my father to.
I stood there hearing everyone converse back and forth. Standing there I looked at my uncle. There was no tears falling from my eyes today. How could I cry when he was in a better place. That was what I kept telling myself. I just looked and stared at the dark antique looking casket with bright and polished handles. I drowned out the conversations that were going on. The priest stood there for five minutes before he began to talk. With the start of his words the crowds words began to dissipate. I knew almost everyone who attended his funeral. Most of them were people who worked for my father and my uncle. The one person that I leaned on was standing right next to me. My best friend Chase.
That night I was sitting in the living room of my uncle's apartment, not sure what to think. Was this what it was like to have everything ripped away from you? I have not spoken to anyone since my father's death, at least since I found out about his death. Chase was sitting on the couch next to me. Although I had not told her, but I was so thankful that she was one of the only people that was there for me; but I think that she knew that already. The phone suddenly rang. It had cut the silence, but it made my heart race. As if it knew that there was something was going to happen. I had already gone threw enough within the past two weeks. Why was god trying to punish me so much? What did I do wrong? These questions were running threw my head as my uncle had made his way back into the living room, with a gleaming glare in his eyes as if he was going to cry.
I looked up at him with my big brown doe eyes, still refusing to speak. My eyes have been my modes of communication since I have stopped talking. When his eyes met mine, I knew that he has something to say, it was important too. I knew that it was. Chase was there so maybe that was why he didn't just say it. Just like my father. I think that since my father's death, hit me hard, but when I am with my uncle I feel as though a part of him is still here. Breathing, talking, and just looking at me as if I was wanted.
My eyes were locked on his as he walked and sat back down next to me on his long couch, with my pillow on the side in which Chase was sitting at. My uncle leaned over and kissed me on the forehead and softly whispered in my ear: "We will talk tomorrow morning. You already have gone threw enough." My eyes widened once again, as he said that. What does he have to talk about? Why was God punishing me? Doesn't he think that I have gone throw enough yet? Suddenly my eyes started to allow gravity to take them; there was nothing that I could do.
The light started to shine threw the glass sliding doors that lead to the balcony so that you could observe the streets below. My eyes began to wake up. It was as if they had a soul of their own. I looked to see Chase lying on my legs, and my uncle was sleeping sitting up. I never knew that someone could actually sleep like that, but I guess they do. I took my time as I untangled out of the people's web. When I got out of the web Chase had woken up. I had motioned to her to stay quiet so that my uncle could sleep. I had woken up like every hour on the hour and he was still awake, so he needs his sleep. I knew that I was a burden on him, I just knew it. So I tried to help out around the apartment, by cooking, cleaning, or whatever else needed to be done.
Chase and I had been awake for about two hours since the sun had risen, and my uncle had just woken up. He was delighted to see that we had made breakfast and had not burned anything down. I said that I did the stuff, not that I was good at it, I was only twelve at the time. I was lucky that I had passed cooking class. Both my teacher and my father had said that. How can all of my smiles soon be turned to tears and frowns? My happiness was now sadness, it seemed too hard.
The day continues just like it had for the last couple of weeks. I continued to attend school, but I was able to go see the counselor whenever I needed too, which was almost the entire day. When I had gotten home, to my uncle's house, my eyes were swelled up and red. I had to walk by where my father's accident was. The block right next to the block that my uncle lived on. So I saw it almost everyday. There was still caution tape up. I tried to hurry past the site so that I didn't have to relive that day. There were candles and crosses and other stuff on the sidewalk. He was a very loved and known man.
Finally I had gotten to my uncle's apartment. His girlfriend was there. Her and I always gotten along. My uncle and she were going to get married in the summer. I couldn't wait till then, because then I would have a family. Well she gave me a big hug as I placed my backpack on the couch. I still wasn't talking so she just kept the conversation going. I didn't know how to explain me not talking. I wanted to but nothing came out. I came back into reality as she began to speak about my father's will reading that was that day. "You got most of it. The money, partnership in the company, anything and everything except the apartment. That goes back to the landlord." As she continues on I wondered what they had gotten. I hoped that they had gotten something; they deserved it for taking care of me. "One thing that the will did not state was the placement of you."
My mind was racing. I have to stay with them. I just had to. Where else could I go? "Your uncle wanted me to talk to you about the phone call last night. He told me to tell you because it is too important to wait until tomorrow, so he thought that I best tell you. We should sit down for this." She stated as we proceeded to the couch. She took a deep breath before she spoke the unforgettable words. "It was your mother on the phone last night. She finally heard about your father's passing." My eyes just widened beyond belief, at hearing that my mother called which was a massive shock. She paused so that I could absorb what I just been told.
"She wanted to see what the will had said about her and what she had gotten. Rod told her that today was the reading and that she would know tonight what she had gotten." My uncle's girlfriend continued what was happening. My mind was flashing a mile-a-minute. "Do you understand me up to this point?" I just nodded my head yes. "This is going to be hard for me to say, but your mother did get something. She got…." There was a pause before the conversation took a turn for the worst. "She got you Hailey."
Just then my eyes widened, wider then they had ever been before. I didn't know what to do. I did what my reflexes told me to do. It was out of shock that I picked up my coat and ran as fast as I could out the door, which I had slammed, down the stairs and out into the city streets. Tears flowing out of my eyes, like the rain that was falling out of the sky.
No matter what I seemed to do I couldn't stop running or even shake the words out of my head. There had to be a mistake. It had to be a mistake. Sure enough there was no mistake. I was boarding a plane only two days later, which would arrive at my mother's home town.