Mother's day...how exciting. It means I had to talk to my psycho grandmother this morning. I'm going to the University of Washington in Seattle this fall, and she had some choice things to say about that. She lives in Kentucky, and according to her, it's the most beautiful place in the entire world (yeah, ok...). But apparently, Seattle is completely overrun with hippies and cults. Hypnotizing cults that trick you into joining. And when asked when the last time she had been in Seattle was, she replied with, "Well, I know what I see on TV. Do you watch Oprah?" Of course, when we had our family reunion in Cancun last year, this was the grandmother that wasn't told about it.
I got in trouble with my physics teacher. No more writing (he thought I was playing video games) in class for Mignonne. Now all there is to do is watch the weird kid (the same one that wrote the checks) next to me play with the growth on his arm. I nearly threw up on Friday.
There is a bird that lives outside my window and starts tweeting at the same time every day. At midnight.
I'm listening to the Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego theme song right now. Ahh...memories... I wanted to be on that show *so* desperately when I was in about third grade. I would have kicked ass, man!
_____________________________________________________
Rikku dreamed. She was nowhere she recognized, not a rare occurrence during this trek across Spira. There was an open field with a lone tree in the center. She was standing under the tree and could see rolling mist in every direction, completely surrounding her. It was eerily silent. She slowly turned in a circle. She saw nothing.
"Hello?" she called. "Is anybody there? Can anyone hear me?"
Suddenly, her hair was stirred by the wind. She spun, and found that Auron had appeared and was approaching her. She shut her eyes briefly and breathed a sigh of relief. "Auron. Where are we?"
He reached the place she was standing. "You tell me. This is your dream, not mine."
"I'm scared."
"Again, not my concern. I'm dead. Dead people don't get scared."
Rikku took a step back. "Auron?" she asked tentatively.
He looked at her and smiled grimly. She was vaguely aware of the fact that he wasn't wearing his normal collar and sunglasses. He reached an arm out, and suddenly, his face began to melt. It was a decaying process, only sped up so that everything simply dripped away, leaving only the garish visage of his skull behind. The arm that had come forward and grasped her arm detached at the shoulder, and it became dead weight gripping her upper arm.
She screamed.
***
Rikku opened her eyes to a concerned Yuna leaning over her. "Rikku! What's wrong?"
"Oh Yunie, it was horrible. I had the most awful dream." She clutched desperately at her cousin. "Soooo scary..."
"Are you okay?" asked Tidus from Yuna's other side. Rikku didn't respond.
Lulu came over and gave her a sympathetic look. She had actually decided to be nice to the poor girl, as Rikku was obviously in distress. The corners of Rikku's lips shifted slightly upward in a pathetic attempt to smile. Suddenly, Rikku felt a hand on her shoulder. It was cold. She knew who it belonged to. She turned slowly to face him.
Rikku screamed for the second time that night.
Wakka, in the middle of the woods and still stuck to his icicle, wondered what was going on. Or rather, he wondered what it was that was obviously consuming his traveling companions and would later come and finish up with him. He whimpered. Damn! Failed as a guardian again!
***
Rikku was trembling. Auron's hand hadn't moved. Tears were running down her face. Her lips parted and she looked like she was going to speak, but was stopped by a slight shake of Auron's head. Her mouth closed. He leaned forward and gently detached her from Yuna.
"Come, Rikku." He looked up at the others. "You need your rest, Yuna especially. You have a long day ahead of you. The Calm Lands will not be easy to cross."
Yuna nodded at him. "OK."
Rikku was shaking as Auron picked her up gently. His hands were freezing...odd she had never noticed until now. Perhaps that was the cause of his slowness in battle. Frozen joints springing into action inevitably were not the speediest things around. They sat by the smoldering embers of the former campfire. Rikku tried unsuccessfully to use it to warm her hands.
"Are you alright?" Auron asked her softly.
"Better than you," she replied, not looking up.
He chuckled lightly. "That may be true, but it's not what I meant."
"I had a nightmare. Your face fell off."
"Is that all?"
"No. You grabbed my arm, and yours fell off, too." Her eyes were wide and serious, and Auron almost felt like laughing at the irony.
"I seriously doubt that will ever occur," said Auron, in an attempt to be reassuring.
"The dead thing really doesn't bother you, does it?"
"I have had ten years to adjust. I'm sorry."
"You could be more...sympathetic!"
"Why should I be sympathetic? I'm the dead one."
Rikku said nothing. She didn't think he was being very nice. All their 'serious' conversations ended up like this. She decided that talk was getting them nowhere and threw herself against him. She couldn't have held the tears back much longer, anyway. Auron also said nothing, but gently stroked her hair with one hand.
***
It was a noticeably more subdued group that left the woods the next morning. Always altruistic Auron, upon lighting the fire, had heated water in his empty sake jug, then dumped it unceremoniously over Wakka's decidedly ungrateful head.
He came up coughing and sputtering. "What happened?" he asked, struggling to get his stiff and sore tongue around the words. "I heard screaming. It was Yuna, wasn't it? She's dead, isn't she? I'm such a failure. I can't do anything right!"
The dejected and quite worked up Wakka looked ready to continue, but was halted by Auron glaring menacingly. "You think that if Yuna was dead I would still be here?" he asked. "She is fine. Rikku had a nightmare."
"Musta been some nightmare, ya?" Auron was already walking away and Wakka ran to catch up. "Uh...thanks?" Auron did not turn around.
Meanwhile, Yuna was asking Rikku about her dream. Rikku was coming dangerously close to giving away what she knew, despite the fact that her intentions were all for the best. She actually liked Auron; she liked most people.
Yuna would not allow her to lapse into thought. "What did you dream about?"
"It was about Seymour." Funny how he had become *everyone's* excuse for *everything*.
Yuna smiled. "Well, that does explain the screaming." She almost giggled, then frowned again. "But why did you scream when you looked at Auron?"
Rikku thought fast. "Because I dreamed that he...uh...teamed up with Seymour."
Yuna looked rather startled. "I don't think that will ever happen," she said, patting Rikku's shoulder reassuringly and unconsciously repeating Auron's response, though not the words.
"Yeah, you're right. It was just scary when it happened, you know? Just...Seymour."
A more confident person might have laughed and told Rikku to remember, Seymour was her husband. Yuna opted instead for "Yeah." Just yeah. Omnipotent narrator shakes head. Weak.
And then they were at the Calm Lands.
***
The amount of activity taking place in the expanse of land before them was astounding. The party was just walking across, fighting fiends as they went, when Tidus's sharp eyes noticed the approach of a chocobo in the distance. And then he saw who was riding.
"Uh oh," was Tidus's well-spoken utterance.
"What oh?" asked Yuna. Tidus just raised one hand and slowly pointed. It was Clasko, and riding behind him was Shelinda. Yuna's eyes widened slowly in terror.
"Tidus!" Clasko and Shelinda both waved perkily. No one in Yuna's entourage looked happy. At all.
"Uh hi Clasko," said Tidus. "So nice to see you. And you too, Shelinda."
"Tidus, I just have to thank you for that suggestion. Getting married on chocobo-back? Just brilliant. So brilliant, in fact, that Shelinda and I decided to take it. Isn't that right, sweetie."
Shelinda giggled. "Yes, muffin."
Tidus blanched. Rikku ate a blancmange. Kimahri wondered where she had gotten it, because he was hungry. (AN: Blancmanges make Mignonne want to play tennis...)
Yuna recovered from her shock long enough to squeak out a "Congratulations."
"Oh, thank you!" said Shelinda. "I just know we're going to be so happy." She was gushing at this point. "Clasko *always* listens to my suggestions, isn't that right, honey?"
Clasko blushed. "Aww, Shelinda! You don't have to tell them that!" He leaned in close and began to whisper, although loudly for the benefit of the group standing on the ground. "They don't need to know that you like to be on top."
Rikku spit out her blancmange.
"No. We really didn't," said Auron. "If you would excuse us." He tried to begin walking, but the others were still gaping. He didn't exactly blame them. That detail had certainly been unnecessary. But then again, both Shelinda and Clasko existing was completely unnecessary.
***
They set up camp at a site that was, coincidentally, not too far from where Shelinda and Clasko had put up their tent (although the assumption was that it was too far for visits). The chocobo was staying in a small cave right by the couple's tent. They were all tired from the long day and therefore turned in early.
Unfortunately, they were rudely awoken by an extremely distressed Shelinda.
"Clasko is...he's...Choco..."
Yuna patted the distressed woman on the back reassuringly. "Now, what happened?"
"Clasko...he was taking a long time with Choco...I went into the cave...just to make sure everything was alright. And they..." she trailed off.
"Are they dead?" asked Lulu, a little too eagerly.
"No...Clasko was...with...Choco." Shelinda dissolved into tears. Several of the others were ready to dissolve into tears of laughter.
"I don't get it," said the confused Wakka. Lulu leaned over and whispered something in his ear. "He fucked the chocobo?!" exclaimed Wakka.
Shelinda just cried harder.
_____________________________________________________
Oh my. Mignonne's a dirty, dirty girl. It's very crude, but come on...you know that's what you thought whenever Clasko showed up!
My Horse = Auron
A Postulation
You may be the hand that feeds me, but I'll be damned if I stop biting you. That, seemingly, is my horse's outlook on life. He is cantankerous and difficult to deal with. He is physically abusive, especially of other horses. Sometimes, he's just plain mean. So how does he relate to Auron? you wonder.
1) Both are large and muscular. Oscar (my horse, of course) is gorgeous. This is not merely me being biased, as it is confirmed by *someone* whenever I take him out of his stall. There are also many who are of the opinion that Auron is gorgeous.
2) The attitude. Both have alpha-male characteristics. No one messes with my horse. No one messes with Auron.
3) The apparent fondness for hyperactive teenagers. Auron and his alleged relationship with Rikku. Oscar and the fact that he tolerates me hanging on him constantly (I think he might actually...like me...). Obviously, however, the relationship between my horse and I is quite different from the Aurikku one. Who do you think I am, Clasko?
4) Oscar is gelded. Auron is dead.
5) Both of their names start with vowels.
6) Auron went to Zanarkand for ten years. Oscar was in Oklahoma (which might as well be another world) for about three before we owned him. Oscar returned to my barn when we purchased him. Auron returned to Spira to protect Yuna.
7) Both excel at what they do. Oscar can jump a five foot fence, and Auron can wield a five foot sword. *Both* are extremely impressive achievements.
8) Oscar eats everything in sight and Auron drinks a lot.
9) My obsessions. Oscar is one of my obsessions, and Auron is part of another.
I swear, it's attitude, attitude, attitude. Oscar currently will only allow himself to be turned out with one other horse, whom he pushes around the entire time. I view poor Dillon as the barn's Tidus character. Strange parallels, no? *smiles* I love my pony.
Review! Or Oscar will find you and kick your ass. And no, I don't mean your donkey. I need assurance that this wasn't unbearably vulgar.
I got in trouble with my physics teacher. No more writing (he thought I was playing video games) in class for Mignonne. Now all there is to do is watch the weird kid (the same one that wrote the checks) next to me play with the growth on his arm. I nearly threw up on Friday.
There is a bird that lives outside my window and starts tweeting at the same time every day. At midnight.
I'm listening to the Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego theme song right now. Ahh...memories... I wanted to be on that show *so* desperately when I was in about third grade. I would have kicked ass, man!
_____________________________________________________
Rikku dreamed. She was nowhere she recognized, not a rare occurrence during this trek across Spira. There was an open field with a lone tree in the center. She was standing under the tree and could see rolling mist in every direction, completely surrounding her. It was eerily silent. She slowly turned in a circle. She saw nothing.
"Hello?" she called. "Is anybody there? Can anyone hear me?"
Suddenly, her hair was stirred by the wind. She spun, and found that Auron had appeared and was approaching her. She shut her eyes briefly and breathed a sigh of relief. "Auron. Where are we?"
He reached the place she was standing. "You tell me. This is your dream, not mine."
"I'm scared."
"Again, not my concern. I'm dead. Dead people don't get scared."
Rikku took a step back. "Auron?" she asked tentatively.
He looked at her and smiled grimly. She was vaguely aware of the fact that he wasn't wearing his normal collar and sunglasses. He reached an arm out, and suddenly, his face began to melt. It was a decaying process, only sped up so that everything simply dripped away, leaving only the garish visage of his skull behind. The arm that had come forward and grasped her arm detached at the shoulder, and it became dead weight gripping her upper arm.
She screamed.
***
Rikku opened her eyes to a concerned Yuna leaning over her. "Rikku! What's wrong?"
"Oh Yunie, it was horrible. I had the most awful dream." She clutched desperately at her cousin. "Soooo scary..."
"Are you okay?" asked Tidus from Yuna's other side. Rikku didn't respond.
Lulu came over and gave her a sympathetic look. She had actually decided to be nice to the poor girl, as Rikku was obviously in distress. The corners of Rikku's lips shifted slightly upward in a pathetic attempt to smile. Suddenly, Rikku felt a hand on her shoulder. It was cold. She knew who it belonged to. She turned slowly to face him.
Rikku screamed for the second time that night.
Wakka, in the middle of the woods and still stuck to his icicle, wondered what was going on. Or rather, he wondered what it was that was obviously consuming his traveling companions and would later come and finish up with him. He whimpered. Damn! Failed as a guardian again!
***
Rikku was trembling. Auron's hand hadn't moved. Tears were running down her face. Her lips parted and she looked like she was going to speak, but was stopped by a slight shake of Auron's head. Her mouth closed. He leaned forward and gently detached her from Yuna.
"Come, Rikku." He looked up at the others. "You need your rest, Yuna especially. You have a long day ahead of you. The Calm Lands will not be easy to cross."
Yuna nodded at him. "OK."
Rikku was shaking as Auron picked her up gently. His hands were freezing...odd she had never noticed until now. Perhaps that was the cause of his slowness in battle. Frozen joints springing into action inevitably were not the speediest things around. They sat by the smoldering embers of the former campfire. Rikku tried unsuccessfully to use it to warm her hands.
"Are you alright?" Auron asked her softly.
"Better than you," she replied, not looking up.
He chuckled lightly. "That may be true, but it's not what I meant."
"I had a nightmare. Your face fell off."
"Is that all?"
"No. You grabbed my arm, and yours fell off, too." Her eyes were wide and serious, and Auron almost felt like laughing at the irony.
"I seriously doubt that will ever occur," said Auron, in an attempt to be reassuring.
"The dead thing really doesn't bother you, does it?"
"I have had ten years to adjust. I'm sorry."
"You could be more...sympathetic!"
"Why should I be sympathetic? I'm the dead one."
Rikku said nothing. She didn't think he was being very nice. All their 'serious' conversations ended up like this. She decided that talk was getting them nowhere and threw herself against him. She couldn't have held the tears back much longer, anyway. Auron also said nothing, but gently stroked her hair with one hand.
***
It was a noticeably more subdued group that left the woods the next morning. Always altruistic Auron, upon lighting the fire, had heated water in his empty sake jug, then dumped it unceremoniously over Wakka's decidedly ungrateful head.
He came up coughing and sputtering. "What happened?" he asked, struggling to get his stiff and sore tongue around the words. "I heard screaming. It was Yuna, wasn't it? She's dead, isn't she? I'm such a failure. I can't do anything right!"
The dejected and quite worked up Wakka looked ready to continue, but was halted by Auron glaring menacingly. "You think that if Yuna was dead I would still be here?" he asked. "She is fine. Rikku had a nightmare."
"Musta been some nightmare, ya?" Auron was already walking away and Wakka ran to catch up. "Uh...thanks?" Auron did not turn around.
Meanwhile, Yuna was asking Rikku about her dream. Rikku was coming dangerously close to giving away what she knew, despite the fact that her intentions were all for the best. She actually liked Auron; she liked most people.
Yuna would not allow her to lapse into thought. "What did you dream about?"
"It was about Seymour." Funny how he had become *everyone's* excuse for *everything*.
Yuna smiled. "Well, that does explain the screaming." She almost giggled, then frowned again. "But why did you scream when you looked at Auron?"
Rikku thought fast. "Because I dreamed that he...uh...teamed up with Seymour."
Yuna looked rather startled. "I don't think that will ever happen," she said, patting Rikku's shoulder reassuringly and unconsciously repeating Auron's response, though not the words.
"Yeah, you're right. It was just scary when it happened, you know? Just...Seymour."
A more confident person might have laughed and told Rikku to remember, Seymour was her husband. Yuna opted instead for "Yeah." Just yeah. Omnipotent narrator shakes head. Weak.
And then they were at the Calm Lands.
***
The amount of activity taking place in the expanse of land before them was astounding. The party was just walking across, fighting fiends as they went, when Tidus's sharp eyes noticed the approach of a chocobo in the distance. And then he saw who was riding.
"Uh oh," was Tidus's well-spoken utterance.
"What oh?" asked Yuna. Tidus just raised one hand and slowly pointed. It was Clasko, and riding behind him was Shelinda. Yuna's eyes widened slowly in terror.
"Tidus!" Clasko and Shelinda both waved perkily. No one in Yuna's entourage looked happy. At all.
"Uh hi Clasko," said Tidus. "So nice to see you. And you too, Shelinda."
"Tidus, I just have to thank you for that suggestion. Getting married on chocobo-back? Just brilliant. So brilliant, in fact, that Shelinda and I decided to take it. Isn't that right, sweetie."
Shelinda giggled. "Yes, muffin."
Tidus blanched. Rikku ate a blancmange. Kimahri wondered where she had gotten it, because he was hungry. (AN: Blancmanges make Mignonne want to play tennis...)
Yuna recovered from her shock long enough to squeak out a "Congratulations."
"Oh, thank you!" said Shelinda. "I just know we're going to be so happy." She was gushing at this point. "Clasko *always* listens to my suggestions, isn't that right, honey?"
Clasko blushed. "Aww, Shelinda! You don't have to tell them that!" He leaned in close and began to whisper, although loudly for the benefit of the group standing on the ground. "They don't need to know that you like to be on top."
Rikku spit out her blancmange.
"No. We really didn't," said Auron. "If you would excuse us." He tried to begin walking, but the others were still gaping. He didn't exactly blame them. That detail had certainly been unnecessary. But then again, both Shelinda and Clasko existing was completely unnecessary.
***
They set up camp at a site that was, coincidentally, not too far from where Shelinda and Clasko had put up their tent (although the assumption was that it was too far for visits). The chocobo was staying in a small cave right by the couple's tent. They were all tired from the long day and therefore turned in early.
Unfortunately, they were rudely awoken by an extremely distressed Shelinda.
"Clasko is...he's...Choco..."
Yuna patted the distressed woman on the back reassuringly. "Now, what happened?"
"Clasko...he was taking a long time with Choco...I went into the cave...just to make sure everything was alright. And they..." she trailed off.
"Are they dead?" asked Lulu, a little too eagerly.
"No...Clasko was...with...Choco." Shelinda dissolved into tears. Several of the others were ready to dissolve into tears of laughter.
"I don't get it," said the confused Wakka. Lulu leaned over and whispered something in his ear. "He fucked the chocobo?!" exclaimed Wakka.
Shelinda just cried harder.
_____________________________________________________
Oh my. Mignonne's a dirty, dirty girl. It's very crude, but come on...you know that's what you thought whenever Clasko showed up!
My Horse = Auron
A Postulation
You may be the hand that feeds me, but I'll be damned if I stop biting you. That, seemingly, is my horse's outlook on life. He is cantankerous and difficult to deal with. He is physically abusive, especially of other horses. Sometimes, he's just plain mean. So how does he relate to Auron? you wonder.
1) Both are large and muscular. Oscar (my horse, of course) is gorgeous. This is not merely me being biased, as it is confirmed by *someone* whenever I take him out of his stall. There are also many who are of the opinion that Auron is gorgeous.
2) The attitude. Both have alpha-male characteristics. No one messes with my horse. No one messes with Auron.
3) The apparent fondness for hyperactive teenagers. Auron and his alleged relationship with Rikku. Oscar and the fact that he tolerates me hanging on him constantly (I think he might actually...like me...). Obviously, however, the relationship between my horse and I is quite different from the Aurikku one. Who do you think I am, Clasko?
4) Oscar is gelded. Auron is dead.
5) Both of their names start with vowels.
6) Auron went to Zanarkand for ten years. Oscar was in Oklahoma (which might as well be another world) for about three before we owned him. Oscar returned to my barn when we purchased him. Auron returned to Spira to protect Yuna.
7) Both excel at what they do. Oscar can jump a five foot fence, and Auron can wield a five foot sword. *Both* are extremely impressive achievements.
8) Oscar eats everything in sight and Auron drinks a lot.
9) My obsessions. Oscar is one of my obsessions, and Auron is part of another.
I swear, it's attitude, attitude, attitude. Oscar currently will only allow himself to be turned out with one other horse, whom he pushes around the entire time. I view poor Dillon as the barn's Tidus character. Strange parallels, no? *smiles* I love my pony.
Review! Or Oscar will find you and kick your ass. And no, I don't mean your donkey. I need assurance that this wasn't unbearably vulgar.