OKAY, SO I DECIDED THAT I SHOULD GO ON WITH THIS FIC, AND AS YOU GUYS SAID SO. THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR SUPPORT AND THAT I'M GLAD TO SEE AND HEAR THAT MY FANFIC MY YOU GUYS HAPPY. AND SO WITH NO FURTHER ADO, HERE'S CHAPTER 8 OF WILL IT HURT TO LOVE AGAIN (8 IS SOOO MY FAVORITE NUMBER, AND 23) YEY!

DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN ANY OF THE RURUOUNI KENSHIN CHARACTERS AND PLACES…ONLY TAKA IN CHAPTER 1, MR. SAKURAGI AND THE SNOOTY LADIES AND THE YOUNG BOY IN CHAPTER TWO, SAYURI IN CHAPTER 7 AND IN THIS CHAPTER. NOTHING MORE…YET.

WILL IT HURT TO LOVE AGAIN by Sutefani-chan

CHAPTER 8

AWAKE FROM SLUMBER

It was Taka all along.

Koshikawa Taka to be exact, the one whom she had loved so dearly up to the depths of her soul and who abandoned her like she was filth, nothing but a sordid orphan.

Yes, she tried so hard to erase him fully from her memory that she even was careful enough to eliminate any remnants of her life with him left. It was like he didn't really exist in her absurd world, her lonely planet. Like he was just nothing but a stranger to her eyes.

But, heck, even with that she failed.

She felt like was just the unluckiest person ever that walk on the face of the earth. Maybe it was just fate, she thought, but how cruel fate could be! How cruel it is that she should fall for the man who will just burn her spirits to ashes! How cruel it is to have fallen for someone who she thought is the one when all of a sudden she realized that she's still in love with her former fiancé? Who had hurt her and treated her family with nothing but disrespect and dishonor?

"Kaoru…" whimpered Taka.

But she just stood there, can't believe that her nightmares were coming true.

She slowly stared into his eyes. There she could see those times when they were together, when they would share their own time with each other…all lies. But how come her heart seemed to beat its way the way it beats when she could stare at his eyes endlessly?

No, it can't be, she was too much in love with Kenshin, no one else.

I never did care about Taka; I was only blind to see such betrayal and foolishness.

But if she never did care about him, why was it that lately she would find herself waking up in the middle of the night, calling his name? Her mind was all over him, but her heart…

Taka embraced her again, but this time, she could feel his warmth. His warmth…

No! I mustn't! Bakeru, Kaoru! Fight back! Fight back! Fight…back…

She couldn't, but she would. She wanted to. A part of her wanted to be with Taka. She knew deep inside she wanted to be with him. That strong bond they had together as lovers and as friends never left her. It never really did.

"W-Why d-did you c-come back?" she asked. She wanted to know. Was it really her that made him leave Sayuri? Or is this because Sayuri realized what a jerk he is?

"I came back because I was sorry to have left you and betrayed you, Kaoru. It was only then did I realize it was you my heart longs for. It was really you that I loved, not Sayuri. I love you, Kaoru, I really do. I've waited three months just to have the guts to tell you this. Believe me, Kaoru. I have changed."

Three months? It's been five months since she heard from his mouth that he loved Sayuri more than her, his own fiancée…

"W-what, what happened to Sayuri?" Has he treated her like she was just a toy and eventually got tired of her, like he did to me?

"Of course, at first she was a bit devastated. She too had learned to…to love me. And I did too, only to find out that I fell for you more."

Kaoru couldn't believe what she was hearing. For a while she thought of doing hara-kiri to see if this was a dream but she wasn't that as stupid as to do so.

She stared at the ring Taka carefully slipped on her finger a while ago. Marry me, she had heard him said. Yes, for once she dreamt of marrying Taka ever since they were kids and was even close of attaining it.

But, she had to make a choice.

Taka was supposedly the one meant for me. For so long was I in love with him, and marrying him was one of my wildest fantasies. But when Kenshin came into my life, all of these changed. He gave me light and inspiration when I was in sorrow, but I had loved Taka more than Kenshin…

Kaoru smirked. But in Taka, I became weak. He wasn't there to catch me when I fell, Kenshin did. And come to think of it, it was Taka who made me fall. He was the cause of my downfall.

No, she was wrong about her theory. She loved Kenshin more than Taka. Though it was such a long period of time that her heart once belonged to Taka, her love for Kenshin now was stronger. Taka was nothing, like Kaoru had said, a foolish schmuck.

"Baka…" Kaoru muttered. She took the ring off her finger and handed it back to Taka, "I don't need this. Ever. You may go back to that Sayuri if you want to."

Taka was a bit confused, "w-what a-are you t-talking a-about?"

"You perfectly know well what the hell I am saying. I don't need this thing. And for all I care, you just treated Sayuri the way you had treated me before, just like a toy. That's just how you see women, don't you? Just like play things? But I'm not that woman anymore, Taka! I'm much wiser now than before, and I have to thank you for helping me be that."

There was pride in Kaoru's tone. For once she felt braver and more matured than before. The foolish girl in her seemed to fade. She felt so much stronger now.

"K-Kaoru, you d-don't u-understand. The reason why I left Sayuri is because it's you that I love. I was wrong back then but now everything became vivid to me. I love you; Kaoru, and I'll never hurt you, ever, from now on. Please, Kaoru, believe me."

"Taka, just what is it that made you think that I can't live without you? To tell you the truth, you were the one who made me weak. You were the one who made me feel worthless as an independent woman, who would cling to every word that you say. I can't go on forever like that, Taka. That scars that you left can never be gone, Taka. They can never be forgotten, can never be forgiven. I can never forgive you for leaving me and for making me wait and love in nothing but in vain. I had loved you so much yet how did you repay that love? By betraying me and for treating my family like they're nothing but freeloaders in my home. That, I can never forgive you, even if you have to bow down and beg before me. My heart doesn't belong to you now. Truth be told, it never did. I don't love you anymore, Taka. I hope this would end our conversation and our connection to each other. I do not want to have anything to do with you anymore. My life as Koshikawa Taka's fooled woman is over now. I hope this would clear everything you might think confusing. In simpler words, it's over now, Taka. Don't go wasting your time on it. Goodbye," and with that she turned her back from him and started to leave when Taka called, "does this has something to do with the swordsman?"

Kaoru stopped in her tracks.

"Don't go telling me he's not here, almost half the town knows he's staying here with you and a student, also the doctor and his two grandchildren. And I do get the feeling this has got to with him."

Kaoru froze. Yes, she wanted to tell him 'yes, it's him. I love him more than I ever loved you. She wanted to tell him it's because of the kind-hearted swordsman that she wanted to end his existence in her absurd world. But the right words can't seem to come out. It still hurts though, but the feeling for the swordsman was strong. Though she can't blurt it all out before Taka. She wanted to prove to him how much she loved Kenshin but can't seem to. She was speechless.

"Humph," he smirked, "I should have known. If I'm not mistaken, he's that lunatic Battousai, isn't he?"

Kaoru paused for a while then answered, " He's a marvelous man. He cares for other people before himself. He's a kind-hearted person who I believe will never leave me and will love me for me and who won't treat me like I'm nothing but a plaything, baka!"

"You think he's all that? Kaoru, you're fully deceived by his lies. Battousai was his past, his present and his future. You can never change that, Kaoru. You're just as stupid now as you were back then to realize that!"

Kaoru cast him a defiant stare.

"You have no idea of what you're talking about! You're just jealous because I finally found the one who will love me endlessly and who is able to see through my own soul! You're too selfish and conceited to understand that!"

"Kaoru," he heaved a sigh, "I'm just trying to protect you. You won't find happiness in him. Believe me, you'll only get hurt!"

"Taka, no matter how you persuade me into believing you, nothing will work. I love him and there's nothing you can do about that."

He smirked, "maybe you're right. Maybe I can't do anything about it. I just hope I was wrong about him and that you two maybe will live happily ever after. Just to give you a thought, do you love him for him too? Are you willing to love Battousai also or are you deceived by his goody-good side? Think about it, Kaoru, I promise never to disturb your now peaceful life again. I just hope it will turn out peaceful. Sayonara, aishiteru, Kamiya Kaoru. Always and forever…" and with Taka left her all alone in the dojo.

"…"

Taka slowly walked his way out of the Kamiya dojo. Yes, he admits it; he still lingered for Kaoru's touch, for her sweet yet headstrong personality. No doubt about it: he's still in love with her. Though Kaoru might be too hesitant to believe it, he does mean his love for her. He can't go back to Sayuri; he never did love her. He was only attracted to her physical features back then, and all he saw in Kaoru was friendship and pity. Nothing else, until now…

He was near the doorway, away from Kaoru, not daring to look back at the dojo that he once set foot and where he had said his last goodbye to the girl he knew would never be erased from his heart. No matter what Kaoru might say to him, her name will always be there, carved on his now torn heart. How ironic.

He saw the door looking good as new. The last time he saw it, a man was busily fixing it, trying to fit it perfectly in the slots where it is supposed to be connected to, cursing every time he would get his thumb smashed by his 'careless hammer'. No wonder he did get help. The job was too neat. Might be the swordsman…

This was going to be the last time he would ever walk the grounds of this place, he thought. This was going to be the last time he would ever see Kaoru's sweet smiling face again…or so he thought. Once he stepped out of the newly repaired doorway, a large hand grabbed him by the arm and growled, "Do want to have the woman back again?"

AUTHOR'S NOTES:

Okay! Okay! Another cliffhanger, woohoo! (Am being sarcastic). I don't know but every time I write a story, cliffhangers suddenly just pop in my head. Oh, please don't kill me!

I'm starting to hate Taka! I'm starting to hate my own character! He's such a wimp! Bakeru! Argh! Anyway…

I just want to apologize for my, err, immature behavior. I realized that I would be very much offending everyone who is counting on me and supporting me ever since I posted this fanfic, also those who kept telling me to pursue my dreams. Please do accept my sincerest apology.

I also would like to thank those who read and reviewed chapter seven: enchantedsleeper; Eternal Light/Fire Dragon; Marfbag (gomen nasai!); softbalchick181 and samuraiduck27 (thank you for reviewing again).

And this I must say so long for now and see you next chappie! Note that it might take a little while since school's starting next week and boy, I'm really dreading the end of our Christmas vacation. Speaking of Christmas, hope you all had a wonderful Christmas with your family and loved ones. Also friends! CIAO!

And guys? Please review. )