Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, MasterCard, or Texas Instruments
Hogwarts.
A home to the impossible.
A hovel for the recluse.
A haven for the weird.
And on this day, this ancient citadel of stone and mortar is about to house yet another strange occurrence for a group of six young Gryffindors on their way to Muggle Studies.
"George, there is a three foot calculator staring at me." Eve said while walking down the fourth floor corridor.
"So? Stare back." George replied next to her.
"What's a calligator?" Fred asked.
"A calculator. Honestly!" Hermione corrected, "It's is a muggle device that computes numbers."
"….."
"Compute is a term used when a machine thinks according to its programming." She continued, exasperated.
"Wait. I thought that muggle machines were dead. How can they think?" Ron asked over Eve's left shoulder.
"Well-"
"Herm, don't." Eve interrupted, "This is not the time or place. You'll just confuse them more. All I want to know is why a three foot graphing calculator is just standing there. And yes it is staring at me, I'm not crazy."
"We didn't say you were crazy." Fred quickly jumped in.
"Yeah, we were thinking it……. Loudly." George added.
"Oh, thanks so much." Was the dry reply.
"Stranger things than this have happened at Hogwarts you know." Harry said
"Yes, I know." Eve replied airily, "You and I are just two of the shining examples that can be found……. Weirdo."
"Oi!" Harry yelled, "Just who is the Human Fireball of Justice Here exactly?"
"No one has enough evidence to prove that I had anything to do with that glorious inferno." Eve said with a glazed look in her eye, "If only you could have seen it."
"Yeah, I'll bet. What is that phrase? Oh right! Dish rags: $ 2.00. Two gallons of gasoline: $ 5.67. Watching your mortal enemy go up in flames: Priceless. Some things money can't buy, but for everything revenge there's MasterCard."
A pause stole along the corridor.
"That was uncalled for. A brilliant deduction, but totally uncalled for." An evil grin came across Eve's face, "You guys want to see the pictures I took?" She reached into her bag.
"Not now, Pyro-"
"Oi!"
"- we're going to be late for Muggle Studies"
"Oh fine."
"Hey where did the calligator go?" Fred asked.
Everyone looks back, they had forgotten about the large adding machine, and shrugged.
" I don't know" Ron said
"Huh! Well that was…a waste of time." Said Hermione
"Waste of time!" George cried
"How can it be a waste of time?" Fred asked
"I mean when you really look at what took place here-"
"- in this most glorious of corridors –"
"- you will realize that not only was this a complete and utter waste of our precious pranking time-"
"-but! We also solved the mystery of what really happened that night in Chicago all those years ago."
"Allegedly. In reality you know nothing." Eve replied
"I see that you are not denying that you had any involvement in the Great Chicago Fire of 1871." George pointed out.
"Oh no! We're going to be late for class. Come on!" Eve yelled while running off.
"Stop dodging the subject!" Fred cried, running after her.
Ten minutes later, the group burst through the door leading to their muggle studies lesson, completely out of breath, to receive quite a shock:
There on the wall behind the professor's desk, was a three foot tall, TI 83 graphing calculator turned towards the door, as if waiting for something.
Too many, it wouldn't look like much, just a big adding machine, but this particular adding machine seemed to be alive. And to the paranoid mind, it appeared that said adding machine was staring right at you.
Well if it's a war they want, it's a war they'll get.
Commence the contest………..NOW!