Excel Saga Fan Fiction
Loose Ends
By Kraven Ergeist (Formerly known as Draco Delphinus)
Ok, first chapter. I've saideverything I need to say in the intro. Oh, and I don't own Excel Saga, Rikudo Koshi does, and I'm not even sure about that anymore after watching the series.
Chapter One: Il Palazzo's Joke
It was yet another morning in F-Prefecture in F-City, but not all was normal for Il Palazzo. Yes, he still ran one of the largest underground organizations imaginable, with which came such a power that no mortal man should be given control of said organization, but it was unclear as of yet that Il Palazzo was mortal at all, so we shall carry on.
Reflecting on all the people involved with The Ideal Organization of Across, including his most trusted executive Excel (Who had gone away on leave of absence); he began to contemplate the meaning of his position. True, F-City indeed the entire world was in a sate of turmoil, despite having all of the sudden recovered from its Post – Apocalyptic – Fist-of-the-North-Star – Rip-Off state of being, however, having turned the other cheek on his desire to conquer the world, Il Palazzo came to a new idea.
"Excel! Hyatt!" he summoned.
Immediately, he was graced with the two girls presence.
"Hail! Il Palazzo!" came the otherworldly cry from Excel.
"-Zzo!" which was all Hyatt managed to squeak out.
Il Palazzo looked at them curiously. "Excel. I thought you were away on absence."
"Master Il Palazzo, surely you know that your needs is undyingly more important than my own. All you have to do is call my name, and I shall go to the ends of the world with you."
Il Palazzo thought about that for a moment. An idea popped into his head.
"Hyatt. Wait right there for a moment," Palazzo commanded.
With a blank stare and blood trickling from her mouth, Hyatt replied, "Yes sir."
Il Palazzo pulled a rope from the ceiling. Excel cringed, waiting for her death-defying fall, from which she seemed to suffer no injury at all during the expanse of times she had taken the tumble. But he trap door never opened. Instead, using technologically superior technology provided by Across®, Il Palazzo instantly teleported to a scorching dessert in Cairo, Egypt, his throne included. Surrounded by gawking stares, all of which he ignored, he cried out the one name: "Excel!"
Excel, still standing confused before the location Il Palazzo had been three seconds prior, found herself suffering from a seizure, followed by an uncontrollable sprint at an ungodly speed over hills and underwater, until she found herself facing Il Palazzo all the way in Egypt with a smile on her face. "Hail! Il Palazzo!"
To which the citizens gave more confused stares.
Il Palazzo snickered, pulling the trademark rope, which was seemingly held up by some unseen force attached to an unseen chain of switches and levers.
"Where did that rope come from?" Excel asked, dejectedly.
No answer came, as Il Palazzo disappeared once more, appearing this time in Moscow, Russia.
Excel, still in Cairo, whom had apparently not caught onto her master's scheme, huffed a small "Huh?" before finding herself seized again once more by Il Palazzo's call. "Excel!"
Her eyes losing tint, her hair radiating with electricity, Excel broke the land speed record, making her way all the way to Moscow, saluting her master with a "Hail! Il Palazzo!"
Moments later, she began to shiver. Did we mention there was a blizzard?
Excel was totally oblivious as Il Palazzo yet again pulled his rope from another nonexistent ceiling from which attached ropes such as this, and activated the Across® teleporter, which happened to be miles away, yet again, sending him and his chair the Amazon Rainforest in Brazil.
An incisively large sweat drop appeared above Excel's brow as she muttered, "Um…master?"
Heartlessly, Palazzo uttered her name again. "Excel!"
Excel spasmed and tornadoed over the ocean and into the rainforest and stood before Il Palazzo on his throne. "Hail! Il Palazzo!"
Soon afterward, a large python started coiling around Excel and swept her into the air.
As Excel screamed out in terror, Il Palazzo contemplated this new method of toiling with Excel. "Not as enjoyable as dropping her in the pit, but fun nevertheless. Perhaps I should do this more often."
"Um…master?" asked Hyatt, who had miraculously appeared before him. "I think Senpai is in a bit of trouble."
Eying Excel struggling in the grasps of the giant snake (And by struggling, we mean 'halfway down it's throat') for less than a second, Palazzo shook his head. "No need to worry. She can handle herself. That girl has a very strong will to live."
Hyatt nodded. "Yeah…"
Il Palazzo sat back. "Now, then, back to business. As you know, Across has gone through some changes. And after much contemplation, I have decided to…"
He paused, noticing that Hyatt had spontaneously died as only she could do.
"Hey!" Il Palazzo yelled. "You can die after I've given my speech."
Hyatt revived and regained her footing. "Yes sir…"
"Anyhow, after much contemplation, I have decided to change the way we do things here at Across. I have made the decision that we at Across do not have the right to overthrow the government in place at this time. However, since I still strongly believe that this world we live in is in a state of turmoil, I see it as the responsibility of Across to right the plentiful wrongs in this city."
Hyatt raised her hand. "Um…does this mean that you will be joining forces with mayor Kababu?"
Il Palazzo shook his head. "No. Though our views are the same, I must continue to run Across as a lone operation."
Hyatt nodded, understanding. "Yes sir."
"Did you hear me, Excel?" Palazzo called out.
"Yes!" Excel cried form within the belly of the snake, a significant lump sprouting from where she raised her hand. "As I fought for my very life against this vicious snake, borne from a forest which you took entertainment in transporting yourself to and beckoning me to come to on foot, I was listening to everything you said, Master!"
Annoyed, Il Palazzo pulled a rope, which magically appeared out of thin air, and did not in any way seem to be attached to any trees or vines, but rather, rooted by some nonexistent form of intricate switches and levers back to Across headquarter in F City, and a trapdoor appeared below Excel, in which she (And the snake) fell.
"Ahh!" Excel screamed, still confined within the bowels of the snake. "Where did this trapdoor come from!"
As you can see, the fic is proceeding about as much as the anime usually does. That's what I tried to bring out here. The next chapter is where the plot, if you want to call it that, is laid out.
Read and Review.
I'm out.