Excel Saga Fan fiction

Loose Ends

By Kraven Ergeist (Formerly known as Draco Delphinus)

Once again, I don't own Excel, and neither does Koshi at this point. '

Chapter Three: Gundam Puchu and Todo-Pudding-chan

Puchu - Maetel and the Mobile Suit Gundam Puchu's were busying themselves blasting the living shit out of some out of the way enemy ship shaped like a star.

"We shall not defeated!" cried the commander of the Out Of The Way ship.

"But sir, we have taken far too much damage!" declared the identical first officer.

"And our fuel and ammunition is running dangerously low!" cried the second officer, also perfectly identical.

Have I mentioned that the animator got lazy and made them all the same?

"But they're clones!" cried the animator. "Honest! It says so in the script!"

He pointed to a script, which was blatantly edited using red marker.

Nabeshin popped up in the animator office and gave him a knuckle grind to the head. "Baka! That's not in the script!"

Back to the Gundam Puchu's and the out of the way ship.

"Regardless!" cried the commander of the Out Of The Way ship. "The Out Of The Way ship has never been defeated! We represent the Such-And-Such nation on planet So-Forth, located in the So-On region of the universe! We must stand for the glory of King What's-His-Face and all his Unanimous servants!"

The first and third commander saluted before whispering to each other. "Have you noticed we all look the same?"

The other nodded. "And how come no one in our allegiance has proper names and titles?"

The other shrugged. "Probably because we're going to be blown up within the next five seconds."

Meanwhile, on the Gundam Puchu ship, Puchu-Amuro shouted an order. "Fire main cannon that is unanimously saved until the very end, even though it could have been used outright to end the fight!"

With that, an absurdly enormous blast emits from the ship, disintegrating the Out Of The Way ship.

"Yay!" cried all the Mobile Suit Gundam rip-offs. "Another victory!"

Excel shrugged. "Well, it looks like there's nothing new there. Let's see how Space Butler and Pension Man are doing.

The Pension guy was sitting in the dining hall of the Puchu ship, sipping champagne, and being waited on by…Space Butler?

"Gah!" Space Butler cried. "I'm not THAT kind of Butler! You see this hair! This is the hair of an action hero, not some waiter on a Gundam rip-off ship!"

Pension Man just cooed. "Quiet. More Champagne, please."

Excel just sighed, wandering off. "What was the point of that? And where's Hyatt…?"

She noticed a bunch of Puchu's sticking Hyatt and a large bucket of ice, trying to preserve her.

"Gah!" Excel yammered. "Hyatt! How many time are you going to die? We've got a mission to take care of!"

Hyatt emerged from the bucket of ice, startling the Puchu's around her into their ugly forms. "Yes, senpai!"

Taking an escape pod, they made their way back to the planet. The pod crash-landed in the middle of an office building. Excel and Hyatt emerged amongst a crowd of bewildered onlookers in the office, until the inspector came running.

"Excuse me! Pardon me! Out of the way! MOVE!" Came the unmistakably enthusiastic voice of Todo-Pudding-chan, as the blue haired detective came rushing to the scene.

"Hmm…" she mumbled, eying Excel and Hyatt emerging from the pod. "What an interesting piece of evidence…"

Excel scratched her head. "Wha? Evidence?"

Excel was suddenly taken off track, when Pudding-chan picked her up with her fingers, as though handling a piece of tissue paper, and inspected her with a magnifying glass. "Hm…an interesting texture, but I can't place the origin. Somewhere from the south of Japan, perhaps…"

Excel flailed out of her grasp. "I'm not evidence! I'm a member of Across, Excel!"

Todo continued prodding her, causing Excel convulse at the ticklish sensations. "OH! Hey, don't poke me there! Ow, that tickles! Hey, your not supposed to touch me there!"

Pudding-chan just ignored her and eyed the second damsel in the pod. "Good god, we have a murder case on our hand! Call an ambulance! This lady needs to be diagnosed by professionals!"

Excel shrugged her off. "Oh, Hyatt's not dead. She reanimates pretty well. Come on, Hyatt, we've arrived."

Hyatt stood up, much to Pudding's chagrin. "Dear lord, we've got a zombie case on our hands!"

Excel shook her head. "Gah! Hyatt's not a zombie, she's…"

Excel, however, saw how corpse-like Hyatt was the moment and changed her mind. "Then again, she does kinda look like a zombie, but that's not the point!"

By then, the doctor arrived, his nurse by his side (Yes, the same doctor and nurse that took in Hyatt on several occasions. Whoops, kinda forgot to mention them in the previous chapter. ')

"We're here! Where's the victim…guh…" the team began, before laying eyes on Hyatt and Excel. Pointing their fingers, they stammered. "It's…it's…you…"

They both ran, yelling and screaming, leaving Todo-Pudding-chan to wonder what was going on.

"Let me explain things," Excel said, leader-like as she was. "We're Excel and Hyatt, the stars of the show, and we're here to reconcile the minor characters of the show who never received proper tribute at the end of the show. So tell me, what's become of you? And while you're at it, who the heck are you? I don't think we've met."

Il Palazzo sighed from within the confines of Across. "For the last time, Excel, you may not have met these people in the show, but they did in fact appear."

"Hail Il Palazzo!" Excel yammered instinctively in response.

"Uh, who are you talking to?" Pudding asked, as Excel was pledging allegiance to a cubicle with a Menchi calendar tacked to the side.

Hyatt scratched her chin. "Uh…the forth wall?"

Excel shook her head. "Never mind! Never mind! So what do you do here anyway?"

Pudding-chan smiled. "Oh, I work in this office building as a private eye."

Excel nodded and looked at a clipboard in her hand. "Yes, yes, and…what ever became of your father's hat?"

As Todo began explaining how she could finally let it go, Excel read over the clipboard, which held the script to the show on it. "What? A hat? What does that have to do with anything?"

"…And that's why I don't need to where my father's dear hunting cap anymore!"

Hyatt clapped her hands. "What a tearful moving story, Todo-Pudding-chan!"

Excel spun herself back at attention. "What? I missed it! Tell us again!"

Nabeshin dropped in, shaking his head. "Sorry, sorry, we're running short on time! It's time to pay our respects to the next characters."

Excel waved her arms as Nabeshin carried her away. "But I wanna hear her story! I never got to meet her in the series!"

Hyatt bowed politely and followed Nabeshin, as they made their way to the next line of characters.

Next on the list: Menchi's crew, and the bowling Musume characters.

A/N: I thought Todo-Pudding-chan was a cool character that deserved more credit than she got. She should have been made a member of the Public Rangers, for Christ's sake. Also, does anyone know if Pad is a Boy or a Girl? Me and my friends still can't figure it out (It's kind of important in an upcoming chapter)